What a year. In so many ways, a time of testing, and of turning upside down so many things we held dear or took for granted.
At the same time, it’s been a year with a multitude of blessings: a chance for more calm, more space, more quiet, more time with loved ones, less stress and everyday bustle. We’ve had to really re-evaluate all our commitments and relationships, now with a new context of being safe and responsible regarding the virus, but also with an eye to the new, huge array of opportunities.
I am grateful that my family has experienced blessings in this year, and I’m keenly aware of how difficult this year has been for so many. Many families have lost income, had to relocate in the midst of the pandemic, have juggled competing work and childcare demands, and done it all in isolation from much needed help from family and friends.
In many ways, we were spared from the worst of the crisis. Our family was very lucky not to have our financial wellbeing threatened. We had no job loss or lack of economic opportunities, and we had safely settled into our new home in a great neighborhood just before the lockdown hit. By this time last year, our huge home renovation project was (miraculously) at a calm and reasonable pausing point.
But I also know that none of us were un-affected. The normalcy of going to playgrounds, seeing friends, going to restaurants, museums, and school, was all called into question. My family began to have a totally home-centered life, and while it suits us well and we really love it and thrive here in our home, it was still something that required a stripping of expectations, a surrender, a re-orienting of hearts and minds.
At the beginning of 2020, I choose three words for the year: Simplicity, Savoring, and Surrender.
Choosing words for each year is a practice I began a few years back. I tend to be a performance oriented person. I love my lists, my goals, my short-term and long-term planning. For me, choosing words or themes or virtues to define my year keeps me focused on the gentler, bigger picture of growth and the life I want to live, rather than putting too much emphasis on a list of goals or thresholds to measure my performance or my worth.
Choosing these themes and words has proven to be immensely helpful for me. I like to stick with three, both so that there can be some distinction and diversity between the concepts and also so the alliteration keeps them front of mind.
Clearly, the Holy Spirit had something in mind for me when He led me to simplicity, savoring, and surrender for 2020. Lessons that I’m still unpacking.
In early 2020. I savored our home even as we painted, cleaned, cleared out, and finished many of our spaces to be a place we truly love. I savored many moments with kids, unexpected time with the girls home from school, then a transition to homeschooling this fall. I savored our ability to shape and work hard to create meaning, balance, flow, and peace in days that were now, suddenly, so open-ended.
We savored watching spring turn to summer, watching our littles grow before our eyes, long golden days and evenings in our new garden, romping in the yard, swimming at our local lake, eating dinner outside. We savored all the time with dad during the time he was home with us (in lockdown). We savored regular walks, local hikes, moments in nature, and all things that were “safe” to do. We savored new neighborhood relationships and friendships that deepened during quarantine.
We embraced simplicity, of life and of schedule. Weekly trips to the grocery store were considered our outings. The focus was simple days, simple pleasures, simple moments with kids: sitting and reading to them, playing, cultivating of our home spaces, gardening & tending to our outdoor spaces, cooking, and doing dishes peacefully, after months of living in a constant state of upheaval and stretched between two homes in fall 2019. I saw my kids embrace simpler days and thrive without having to leave our home, neighborhood yards, or walkable town. Their contentment inspired me to dig deeper into simple joyful routines of my own.
Simplicity & embracing what’s essential…giving in to days that prioritize rest, nourishment, connection, and creativity….are beautiful seasons indeed. That’s what 2020 allowed for many of us. Stripping away the extra & superfluous led us deeper into the callings of our heart, our creative natures, allowed us to stretch, learn new things, care for our selves & families & homes in new intentional ways.
I surrendered (not always graciously) to the day-in-day-out demands of motherhood with four littles. The hard moments jumble right up next to the simple and beautiful ones, and it leaves me every evening falling into bed exhausted and knowing I gave my all.
I surrendered my expectations of what home life, work life, and school life would look like, when they all blurred together even more than before (and yet, beautifully, I saw how they informed, inspired, and lifted each other up). I also surrendered the pain and frustration of challenging relationships that were not working anymore, letting go of bitterness and letting our smaller, slower life show me that it was okay to forgive and move onward in peace.
I surrendered my hopes for a school year that would look like the previous ones had and embraced the beautiful mess (sometimes not beautiful, just messy) of homeschooling. I surrendered to a tough(er) first trimester with this baby, grateful that in those early weeks when I napped daily, was constantly nauseous, and rarely (never) made dinner, we had a dear cousin able to come stay with us to help. I surrendered yet again to allowing my work goals to shift and look different for the fall (and yet, somehow to feel more confident and passionate about what I doing than ever before as I watch so many of us step back to reconsider and redesign our lives). We started work on our unfinished basement, and surrendered (me, less than patiently) with the delays, setbacks, and challenges of doing renovation work during Covid-19.
As I look ahead to the spring, I am surrendering my expectations (me, the ultimate planner) to what life will look like with five. I know it will be different, will stretch us, and will be beautiful just as every stage of life has before it.
Surrender doesn’t come easily for me. But I’m immensely grateful for all the opportunities to watch a bigger, better plan unfold this year and to learn to expand my heart and mind, always.
These three themes helped guide, anchor, and motivate me during some of the challenges of the year. They helped me appreciate all the good moments…simple and savoring as they might be.
2020…the year we embraced HOME and fell deeply in love with ours. The year I transitioned from “I’ll never homeschool” to “we’re going to do this and give it our best shot,” and then fell in love with the pace of life it gives us. The year we relished each social gathering and strategically chose the friendships to invest in and allowed others to recede. The year when family became more central than ever.
I will never forget this year. I’m truly grateful for the lessons that I needed to learn. I hope to carry them with me as we step across the threshold of the new year and acknowledge just how much resilience and strength this year has required of us.
Congrats on making it to the end of 2020! You’re a different version of yourself, hopefully a version you’re proud of or surprised by. The odds are that you did some pretty extraordinary things this year, and it’s good to celebrate what you’ve endured and worked through. Here’s to building on all of this, and running into 2021, together!
Curious: What were your main lessons & takeaways from 2020?
Have you ever chosen themes or intentions for your new year?
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Thanks for being part of my 2020. You’re a big part of the reason why I wake up every day inspired, hopeful, and ready to continue doing my small part to make this world better, brighter, kinder.
Fear and darkness will not win.
2021…let’s do this!