*This blog post is dedicated to my friend Mary Teller. Last summer we were poolside with our little ones, and just last week she lost her courageous fight against cancer. She is a beautiful reminder to me of living joyfully in the present moment, especially as a mom of littles. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, we only have today. Her life gives us a rich perspective to view our own as we design summers that are full of meaning & beautiful moments*
It’s that time of year that moms both love (all the free time & watching kids enjoy summer) & dread (how to keep them busy/out of trouble/slightly bored but not bored to death ;)).
As the summers have gone by & as my kids grow, I treasure these months in a special way. The gift of pure leisure & carefree time is so fleeting (as is childhood) & rather than wanting to rush through it, I want to savor it & remember with them just how special these moments are. I’m speaking as the mom of a 12 year old, aware that in 3 summers or so she will have a summer job, and be busier with other things. These are precious days of free time. On the other hand/flipside, we don’t want to get burned out & tired out from too much summer fun & activity…and toddlers (and moms) need our reset & recharge time. The extra messes & longer days can take their toll on all. It’s a fine balance to be found. Doing a mid-summer check-in and helping us all look at how our summers are going & how we can tweak things. I’d love to hear from all the mommas–how’s this summer going for you?
*Yes I’m aware that some are starting back to school this week & next–but that’s crazy! I mean, summer goes until Labor day in my book*
Here’s some musings on the summer as a mom (of 5), some things that work for us, and I hope it’s helpful for the mommas who are looking to refresh their mindset or routines, plan summer intentionally, activating their kids’ happiness & imagination while maximizing relaxation as well. This summer is the first one that feels “normal” in a few years, and we will certainly be leaning into all the opportunities for travel, weekend getaways, time with family etc as well as wonderfully slow paced days at home with little on the agenda.
Summer Rhythms re-imagined
I like to use the word rhythm rather than schedule, because I find that helps me keep it loose & feel more relaxed about it. We have a rough structure for how the days go when we are home (morning activity, lunch & quiet/rest & afternoon/evening playtime)….but it varies each week, and I love that in this season we plan our days according to our priorities, and I like to keep it pretty relaxed so we can continue to be spontaneous & plan things based on the weather, invites from friends, etc.
I will say it feels like I have a wider variety of kids interests–with pre-teen down to toddler, so some days, splitting up & getting people occupied with different activities just makes sense. But I also treasure things we get to do all together, so I try to weave both into each week.
Summer daily checklists
I instituted summer checklists because I like for them to know what’s expected of them & to not have to have too many discussions (arguments) about what they need to do & when. It’s listed clearly & generally in order so they know that in addition to tons of free time & play etc they are expected to do basic chores, reading, practicing piano & helping out in various ways. I see them take alot of pride in these, and the end of week rewards (for a fully completed checklist) can vary from a trip to get ice-cream, to a $ amount, depending on the age & what they are accomplishing. Try out different incentives & see what works.
Balancing busy/full weeks with slower weeks
While there’s plenty of pressure/appeal to rely on camps to keep kids busy, active & trying new things…I think that there’s alot to be said for having some real down time & more unscheduled time too. There’s so much research right now on the importance of unstructured play time/free time for kids. It’s also about fighting back on the pressure of a “do more” culture. Deep happiness is often found with less. I love the #chasingslow movement that I discovered 5 years ago when setting out to create intentional summers for my family. We’ve found over the past few years that some kids do need more camp/active time, and others need less. Even with carpools, etc, the camp pickups/drop offs can set us on a tighter schedule as well, so what I like to do is vary the camps. I usually try to have 1 kid in camp each week we’re home (not traveling) or every other week, but then also allow for periods of time/weeks without camps so we can do family outings like head to a blueberry patch or go on a hike or have friend time without the constraints of a camp routine. I find that just a little itch of boredom, some slower days can be just what they need to instigate them in a new creative direction, last summer they built an elaborate bush fort with friends out back & this summer I suspect we will be working on new projects & getting immersed in new wonderful activities, led by them.
I also love having a garden handy as an ever changing interest & hobby spot—they can do as much or as little with it as they want, since they are each fully responsible for their own veggie bed (from planning/planting to harvesting…and let me tell you, they are very proud of the fruits of their labor).
Here’s a bit more inspiration/context for how boredom & mental space can be a good thing for all of us—and how to cultivate it in a smart phone/distraction focused age.
Planning out summer: Bucket List
I obviously like to do this well in advance, but here’s my rough strategy so you can see how I mastermind it (& works for a mid summer revisit). I block in all the trips/travel first & weekend activities that I know about. I like to bookend longer trips to beginning & end & then leave a stretch of time at home mid-summer so we can get into some routines at home. We moms all need pretty big buffers of several days on either side of trips because of all that’s involved in getting us out the door & fully packed/prepped & then recovered on the other side. Totally worth it & I really believe in traveling with kids—it’s just much better when we leave ample time for all the things that will come up related to/surrounding a summer trip/prep & recovery. I find traveling in early summer & right at the end helps us have nice capstones but also still be around for alot of the local activities/camps etc that happen throughout mid summer (July).
(I think I’ll do another post on traveling with a bunch of kids of all ages. It’s not easy but it’s SO beautiful & worthwhile to do!)
I think less obvious but equally important: being intentional about who you want to make summer memories with! This is your chance! We love to travel & we prefer to travel to family or vacation with family because it takes some of the pressure off of us & makes the kids & all of us have a more enjoyable time! Then as well, with friends, it can often get hectic with vacation schedules, so setting up times to make sure you have those long unhurried summer evening hangouts or daytrips with your favorite people planned throughout can really keep the summer energy & anticipation high. Everything about summer is better with loved ones.
Then we look at & make our summer bucket list–it includes our planned travels & summer highlights (yes, this year we did Disney–crazy but fun), but often times it’s also simpler wonderful things like strawberry picking that they get such a kick out of doing, or taking friends to our local lake. The kids love doing these. I’m actually framing the past bucket lists from previous summers…it’s so fun to see which things have evolved & become summer traditions.
So…then with chill weeks surrounding trips or long weekends/big events, etc….I then zero in on what skills/interest areas we want them focusing on—and they are now at the age that they love having summer for going deeper into activities/hobbies that interest them.
I love summer for developing a FLOW state around daily life, projects, gardening, DIY, art, whatever you’re into, and helping your kids see the opportunities & do the same.
FLOW state: getting intensely involved in something to the point where you lose track of time/consciousness, it’s a balance of challenge & comfort, stretching yourself & your skills & also being deeply at ease.
This is something I work to cultivate in summer for myself & my kids/us as a group, because the long days & flexible schedules allow for it. It could look like jumping into a gardening or home project, or helping your kids work at and master new skills & activities like piano, crafts, or a new sport. It actually differs from “mindfulness” & you can read more about it & think about how it can be applied to your summer—here.
For Corinne it’s always gymnastics–she loves it & is thrilled to have a year round sport with mostly conditioning work in summer time (not competing). Emma is doing a farm apprenticeship program all summer (3 time blocks/week) which is great to get her outside/active, having fun with friends/peers & learning alot. Ambrose is getting a couple weeks of sports camp which help him skill up in the sports he likes. All 3 older ones have piano lessons/intensive built into their schedule since it’s something we want to prioritize & they have more time to focus on it when they aren’t also juggling academics. With these “anchors” in our week, I can then plan in the camps next (yes, the kids have some favorites but we also help them try new things)…and then I finally layer in the other stuff–outings, social time, etc.
Summer reading: inspiration/incentives
This is always a big question—how to get kids committed to & reading in the summer as a strong daily habit! We have it on our daily checklists (made in canva) & they are expected to read books from their school list as well as frequent library trips (yes, girls are now able to ride their bikes to the library in town)…I also always do a bit of an overhaul/refresh of our shelves, new books are very tantalizing and I leave them out/rotate through their room shelves, and generally make sure that most weeks we have chunks of down time at home while 2 little ones nap, and that’s their reading/drawing/down time.
This summer I’m loving these 100 days books from Memoria Press to keep them connected to what they are reading each day–they draw pictures from the books they read & write the title so it’s a bit like a log. Ambrose loves the idea of getting to 100! Emma just does a journal & writes more lengthy synopsis/reflections when she finishes each book. I know I’m going to treasure these 🙂
There are different ways to focus on motivation/rewards etc. Depending on what camp you fall in, material rewards or $ might not be your cup of tea, but in the past I’ve put a $ amount per chapter book for the girls, or take them out for ice cream when they hit a certain reading goal. The important thing is that they enjoy it, and they realize this is a golden opportunity to put that blessed leisure time to good use 😉 This year when Emma wanted to start watching a new show w me at night, we challenged her to read a book off her list first & she was so proud when she powered through it it just over a day 🙂
Mama needs a time out 😉
I have a babysitter block that also anchors my own week for my sanity & work time. Getting out 1x/week for errands/work sessions or just sipping an iced chai & reading a book…has been key for surviving & thriving in the summers past. These long days are an intense time for moms & we need those chances to mentally reset. I have also loved having a wonderfully responsible babysitter take my safe swimmers & sometimes friends to the lake for lake time while I’m at home getting things done—whether it’s work or a home project or packing 😉 (I used to be napping with my newborn last year….those were special days indeed). Do yourself a favor & plan this into your summer budget & schedule. Your kids will have a blast & you’ll love the reset–you can come back into the chaos ready for more, or welcome them back home tired out once you’ve had a few precious quiet hours to yourself at home. Just as your kids are encouraged to get into a flow state or improve at things that interest them, they should also see you taking time not only for daily movement but also hobbies & things that bring you joy & encourage summer flow.
Gardening & simple summer projects/hobbies
This is another anchor of our summers at home. For 5 years now, having veggie gardens has been one of the most joy-producing habits of these warm months, & connects us all with nature & the cyles of the seasons & what we’re eating all summer. I love seeing them going into their garden beds to grab what they want to eat/add to our meals & the pride they take with (super) simple maintenance. This year we did a bunch of landscaping & flowers & more in the front so it’s been so satisfying to see the spaces transformed with some nursery trips & sweat equity, and vision….and now lots of water & trusting the process. I’ve fallen in love with watching things bloom, cultivating & encouraging beauty at every turn. Turns out when mom’s outside getting dirty, and happy, and the hose is on, it’s automatically a fun summer day at home 😉
*Normally I do a few DIY/furniture fixes or other house/space projects but this year I’m focused on just the bare minimum of (cough—decluttering/resetting & organizing toys & kids activities on 3 floors!) & will keep adding to my list of projects to do in Sept when they are back in school! It’s fun to dream up projects like painting a playhouse, refreshing kids furniture, or things that the kids can get involved in. Treehouse with dad is on the bucket list 😉
*The gardening lifestyle (and that includes everything from planters/pots to full garden beds/veggies….encourages a slower pace, one that is relishing each day for the simple abundance of nature, and learning to pace our rhythms related to those of natures. It encourages us as a family to eat everything fresh out of the garden, completely focused on our meal planning & daily dinners based on what is ripe right now, today. The best feeling in the world watching the kids come running in with fresh veggies, excited that they harvested & can now chop/cook them.
It has shaped us fundamentally & I couldn’t recommend it more—even if you’re not sure whether you have a green thumb–give it a try. You might surprise yourself with how much you love it. I know for me it’s also been healing & rejuvenating my heart to just make plans, get dirty, and grow beautiful things in a year of loss (my grandma & then now 2 others last week). Did you know that soil contains anti-depressants? Getting out in the garden esp with your littles will guarantee you some Vita D & all the mood boosting you could ask for.
*When I started my garden 5 years ago, I was coming out of a period of time of living in NYC & that go-go pace had gotten under my skin. I’ve been grateful to re-learn/un-learn what to consider being productive, and my kids & my garden help me savor & deeply enjoy the simple slower pace that nature teaches us.
*You can read more about Life lessons from my garden written in summer 2020. I keep coming back for more lessons each year and I know that you’ll love it too once you start. Last summer, when postpartum with Nellie, just being able to go out into my yard & gather beautiful bouquets for the house gave me great joy. Sometimes these daily rituals are just waiting for us, to transform our life & outlook.
Energy for long days, balancing activity & rest
I’m writing this with my feet up on our back deck, relishing the joy of a double nap (2 toddlers) & a lazy Sunday with nothing planned. It’s good to rely on energy tools for the inevitably long days, but also to relish the slow summer pace when possible. The days are long so it’s good to welcome the siesta philosophy & have scheduled down time each day in the afternoon. Even if you don’t nap, just having quiet & reading time & less interactions helps you reset & then enjoy being out & doing things until dark. People are very understanding when you share that you have time blocked for rest midday (making exceptions when needed) & there are plenty of evening hours until dark for fun. I like having a morning punctuation/activity, even something simple like a walk & playground time, that then leads us into lunch. We all benefit from the ebbs & flows in the long days.
At the end of this post I share my go-to’s for summer-long energy. Us mommas need it! Sometimes, we need a bit of stress relief (ashwaganda) too as we navigate full days with little people & summer adventures or days at home.
I’ve learned (in these past 12 years of mothering…) that doing things I love in small pockets of time & being able to really plan the days with ultimate flexibility & also carving out time for things that bring me joy (recently it’s been walking around at the golden hour at home photographing my flowers)…can really increase our energy & joy & expansive feelings. We all benefit from chasing our joy, and it starts with us mommas, and how we model that for our kids.
Building in time for movement is so important for physical & mental health. I love a good 20 min HIIT workout in my basement while the toddlers play nearby, or getting out for a run or even long evening walks into town with a few kids in tow. Backyard games can be another great way to get your sweat on…have fun & make it happen!
PS: have healthy weight goals for summer & looking to shed lbs/do a cleanse/gain energy, sleep better & feel amazing? Take your meology quiz here or reach out to me hello@maddypidel.com to discuss how I can support your goals! I adore helping mommas thrive & summer is the trickiest & also the most important season for that!
My tools for an energized & thriving summer
Planning activities: day trips, local outings etc.
I’ve found that a well-planned day trip or long 3-4 day weekend can be just as enjoyable as a longer vacation, and sometimes a bit easier/less hassle. Depending on kid’s schedules, etc, it can be nice to be out for the day but still sleeping in our own bed. We’ve done some fun outings to Brooklyn & NYC that felt like a true getaway but we were home & cozy in our beds when it was all over. I’ve also accepted that we’re in a season of life where the family may split up for some weekends/ summer activities. As I finish up this post, my husband has the kids at a family reunion weekend in upstate NY–I’m getting amazing photos of the 3 older ones, under waterfalls, on hikes with cousins, sleeping out in tents, long games of ultimate frisbee, and meanwhile the little 2 & I are happy with splash pad or lake time followed by 2-3 hour naps 😉 I think it’s OK to get creative as parents, and bonus points if you can also get in a romantic getaway weekend! *booking ours ASAP*
I’ll share another post on doing longer trips/airline travel etc with kids–I think those are very special punctuation points too, but it doesn’t always have to be elaborate or expensive. Think of how many cool destinations are within a 4 hour drive from where you live & start pricing & planning!
In our area, many museums offer free admissions for kids during summer. Check out your local spots & see what kind of specials or extra programs they have going this time of year.
Summer is a great time to check out local spots you’ve been wanting to explore, and bringing friends with is the cherry on top. Taking leisure seriously is an art form, and one we’re working on cultivating—it’s a beautiful thing to fill those childhood memory buckets with beautiful places & memorable people. Yes it can stretch us as mommas but it’s usually always worth it! (And ps, we get better at navigating naps on the road, or toddler transitions/sightseeing etc, and we’re all better for it!).
Working mommas & work from home
This can certainly present its own challenges. However, I like to see the positive side first. As a business owner mom, I get to decide when/where I work & truly design my work life around our summer rhythms that work for all.
If you work outside the home or on a typical 9-5 schedule, you know how truly precious those moments are & will want to take advantage of every weekend & summer evening. The good news is, you can. It’s so great when you can keep your work & life flowing along & maybe outsource some of the things taking your attention related to home etc so you can just enjoy a bit of summer fun! Take a cue from the kids & live life in the present whenever you can! Push bedtimes back & do something fun on a Wednesday evening. Batch errands or social time so your weekends don’t feel weighed down with “to-dos”. Embrace summer Fridays & work smarter not harder.
As a mompreuner, I personally choose to take on less projects & clients in summer, shift things around as needed, welcome my full entourage of college sitters that we love (and who drive the kids to fun things). If it’s a rainy day in summer, I might batch a bunch of things & be productive, while on a hot & sunny Friday I might skip the to-do list until Monday & head to the beach with kids. I most likely won’t launch a new course or program in the middle of summer (never say never, right ;)) & I find that these weeks can be key for resetting, stepping away from our work, refreshing the vision, pivoting, evaluate what’s working & what’s dragging us down, and coming back in to hit the ground running in Sept with a full business mindset reset! (And bonus points if you can get some biz reads or podcasts in at the beach or while gardening ;)) Our business needs us at our best & summer is for finding a new flow, new perspective, and even new sources of inspiration that will carry you into the new (school cal) year.
(If you’re reading this and you’re a mompreuner, I have an exciting new cohort of our mastermind starting in Sept. I would love to connect & see if it’s right for you! Learn more here & email me hello@maddypidel.com)
Simple is better
Certainly with kids, sometimes the simpler the better. A backyard water fight & volleyball session might be just as fun when you’re totally engaged with it than an elaborate & exhausting trip to a beach 2 hours away. You get to gauge what everyone needs, and mix it up, but don’t be afraid to lean heavily on simple summer routines that produce maximum joy. After my son did a few weeks of sports camp, he set up his own sports camp with stations in the yard & it’s been entertaining them for hours.
For us, a walk into town for an evening at a local concert, picnicking with friends & walking home at dark makes us all feel like we’re living the summer dream. A lot of local fun can be had at festivals, fairs, local museums often run promos (ours do a free summer program for kids)…or even the classic backyard campout complete with tent, flashlights & popcorn & scary stories. So much of summer with kids is about seeing the magic & joy that’s already right there, and sharing it with them.
Yes, I’m going to encourage you to embrace a season of paper plates, simpler lunches, teaching kids to make their own snacks or having a quick grab basket of snacks at the ready, and definitely find ways to not have to make dinner a few nights a week—it’s the best feeling to leave the kitchen clean at 4pm & know you’re off duty! Order pizza or healthy takeout like subs at the pool or lake, or take the family out or meet up with friends at a concert w a picnic! Kids loving dining al fresco & we love it too! (less to clean up). Then when you decide once in a while to go all out on hosting at home or making a meal fresh from the garden, it will feel more special.
What else is dragging you down? Loads of laundry? Do a simplified capsule wardrobe for the kids, and resolve to leave laundry for the rainy days…or at least batch it/do it first thing so it doesn’t steal the joy of your summer day by staring at you from the couch…
Embrace things that help simplify your life, don’t be afraid to ask for help—babysitters, housekeepers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, even doing childcare swaps with other moms who might need hours to themselves too. Try instacart or whole foods delivery if it saves you precious summer hours. It’s not possible to be all things for all people all summer long… you’ll burn out. Better to pace yourself & welcome support & see how much you all benefit from it.
I love having some rainy day activities & craft kits saved at the ready for when they get a bit bored or need to change up the pace. Here’s a few we are enjoying right now, and this fun dominos set to pull out for rainy day fun. My kids do so many legos & magna tiles creations in the summer.
Backyard Oasis, summer at home
Something that’s also beautiful to consider & work towards is having your backyard & outdoor spaces feel like you’re on vacation, and transport you to a sense of leisure, peace & cultivate play & great family moments & memories. We’re currently in a season of welcoming guests (every weekend we haven’t traveled this summer!) & it’s been so fun to play volleyball in the yard, eat on the back deck with visitors or just ourselves, play pick up soccer, lounge on swings & around the yard, and do regular bonfires.
Sometimes we need to be creative & put a bit of that summer budget you’ve squirreled away for a nice bed & breakfast or hotel experience, and commit to bringing some of it right to your own home. We did some landscaping & outdoor projects the past 2 years that are starting to make our spaces hum with bees & color & summer beauty.
Everyday we go out & gather gorgeous bouquets of flowers that we grow, and I sun bathe on my deck & ignore the dishes & to-do lists—but also dive into home projects during nap times or btwn lake sessions which feels like the best of both worlds staycation style.
Creating a life you don’t have to take a vacation from is a beautiful & challenging goal, and is a focal point for my life design course. You can learn more about that here (enrolling now for fall cohort!)
Shifting our mindset around summer
Sometimes, it’s as simple as re-wiring our mindsets/thoughts about summer. If we catch ourselves looking at the week ahead & dreading the idea of all those hours that we have to fill with littles, try a mental reset to see the opportunities. Maybe it’s also about getting that self-care/alone time scheduled or some 1×1 activities with kids planned. I find that pouring into them in those special moments pays major dividends during the rest of the week.
As many of us hit the mid-summer mark (yes I know some mommas in various parts of the country are about to send kids back to school), it can be a good time to fight the day to day fatigue of handing out popsicles & coloring packs and come up with a fresh vision and plan for leaning into summer living with the family. Sometimes we even just need to re-envision how the days are going & add in more meaningful play–in the backyard or locally with friends…Or maybe it’s time to book a last minute weekend August getaway or day trip to take advantage of the season & explore some new places.
Let’s take advantage of these beautiful long summer days—to both reset/recharge, make beautiful simple memories with the kids, and take advantage of the gift of TIME, our most precious resource.
I’d love to hear if any of this resonated with you or inspired you to do things differently for the remainder of the summer.
I can’t wait to hear what summer rhythms work best for you & your family. It’s a very special time of year indeed. Let’s just a little longer, ignore the messes, play w our kids, do those adventures & things you love, soak up the magic of summer. We’re making memories that will last a lifetime.