This past January, the very beginning of 2018, I was encouraged by one of my wise mentors to look at 2-3 themes or intentions for the year ahead. These would be key words or phrases that tied into my vision board and that would guide my approach to the new year and to the monthly or 90 day action plans and goals that I might set. I think we both knew that an overarching theme would help make my short-term goals more meaningful.
I wanted to pause and reflect on how these themes played out for us this year and to share this concept with all of you in case it’s a valuable one for looking at 2019, which is right around the corner.
I know for me, sometimes looking at a new year, and aiming to set goals can feel intimidating. We know life can change so much, take unexpected turns, in life, job, career, family, and we want to make sure that our goals will be in line with the big picture vision even as it may change in detail.
I hear this from many folks I work with, that it’s much easier to set monthly or 90 day goals, and harder when it comes to longer stretches of time, like a full year. But, at the same time, the power of a new year is just that—imagining how different life can be a year from now, and embracing the love for that progress and transformation that we’re ready to experience.
For me, setting up themes for 2018 that applied throughout the year helped bridge the gap between the future I imagine and the reality of my more short-term goals. It’s also allowed me to smile and sometimes even laugh out loud at God’s sense of humor.
So, without further ado, here are my three key themes for 2018 and some musings on how these themes played out in my life and in our life as a family in the last year.
Theme 1: CREATE SPACE
The first theme I focused in on this year was to CREATE SPACE. This is a phrase I use a lot, in my business, coaching and general approach to life. I find that when we declutter our spaces, schedules, lives, we allow room for the GOOD stuff. You know, the moments we want to remember for a long time.
I’ve spent years glorifying the hustle (a remnant of my Brooklyn lovin’, NYC bustlin days)… even with several kids in tow, and a few things have helped me shift away from worshiping being busy (or hiding behind my busyness as an excuse for why my bigger dreams and life goals weren’t getting tackled).
One of them reaching a point of frustration with the pace, and realizing it wasn’t allowing me to fully enjoy each day and the little moments with the kids, that can be packed with meaning. Another avenue for mindset change was a book called “Chasing Slow”—and the other one was a book called “The Best Yes,” which is about the beautiful grace of saying no, to the things in life that we can feel pressured to do or take on, so that we have the energy, mental focus and ability to say YES and be all in on the things that we truly value or feel called to do. These books, as well as our intentional family move 18 months ago to the country for a naturally slower pace of life, and embracing this with my children—and seeing how they like to live their best days—it’s all led me to the conviction that we need to work hard—in our social media driven, commercial, NOISY world, to carve out that beautiful space in which to live meaningful days, with lots of intention, connection to the small (and big) tasks. It takes real effort, and is so worthwhile.
For 2018, there were plenty of things I said no to, especially in the early parts of the year…when I was feeling called to a deeper rest, a deeper, more peaceful family life, and new rhythms, that helped us finally get the hang of the 3 kids thing, and to all thrive. It also looked like carving out time in the spring to train for a half marathon, to launch the girls to the end of an amazing first year in their new school, and then to welcome baby #4, right at a time when we were heading into a summer of slower rhythms and beautiful days with nature as a forefront focus—-lazy days at our local lake beach, long days in the backyard, the kids enjoying stretching themselves in all the ways they know how.
Creating space to welcome a new life into our family, and to continue having a flow and rhythms that work well into the fall, has been such a blessing. Yes, it’s hard to fight the pressure at times, for more extracurriculars, more volunteer things (that I love), or more errands (ok, not hard to fight those off!), but my heart was craving LESS, along with the 2nd theme, so that’s been our work.
I think that we’ll learn these lessons all over again when we welcome another babe in January 2019 and zero in on just the most simplified and beautiful rhythms to support and nourish the family during that season that’s coming up. I know I don’t want to miss the important moments, and CREATING SPACE started as an exploratory theme for the year, and is now the baseline for a full life by design course that I’m launching for all of us to work through in early 2019.
Theme 2: CONTENTMENT
The second theme for 2019, CONTENTMENT.
This one is hard for someone like me. I’m a thinker-ahead—focus on the future, often itching for the next thing…sometimes living in the future at the expense of the present. This has had it’s advantages for me, but as a mother, it too often creates a pull that disquiets me. I felt in prayer and in chats with my husband, Joel, that I needed to really embrace this theme and nurture more contentment. With a business that can always demand more, and with family life and motherhood always able to tempt me to MORE…I wanted to be able to wake up each day, and say—it’s ENOUGH. What I’m doing today, what we’ll get done, where we’ll go, how we’re living, with simplicity and focus on our family values, it’s ENOUGH.
How many of us know our hearts need this! I had a few books that were helping in this regard—and one of them has a title some of you may laugh at. It’s called “Happy Are You Poor”…and my dear husband recommended it to me as we had these conversations about being content with the present moment, and what we have, rather than staying in a striving mode. It’s a reminder that more of worldly things is not what makes our hearts either at peace, or brought to their full fulfillment. It’s a good wake up call, and reminder. Another fantastic read for me was the 8 doors of the kingdom, meditations on the beatitudes, reminding us that detachment and focus on other than earthly things are what sets our hearts at peace. The books mentioned above (“Chasing Slow”) was also helpful in this regard.
And truly, some days in the summer, as I looked around at our slow, peaceful rhythms, and as I focused on not desiring things, not shopping online, not scrambling for business goals, more followers, more extracurriculars, more, more more, I found that I was happier. And this happiness brought more clarity to me–of what I was truly seeking when making goals or plans. I think this one needs to carry through for me into this coming baby season as well. Getting away from measuring worth, accomplishment, or my treasure in the wrong places.
And I found that in my contentment, my relationships and my impact could be more real and less forced. It’s so important for gratitude to be the baseline of our lives, that they can be fully rich. I journal daily (this habit has fully clicked back in this year), and the themes of knowing what I HAVE, and how good it really is, helps balance out my approach to growth, in various areas of life or work.
Theme 3: COMMUNITY
The final theme for 2018 was COMMUNITY. We were 6 months into a new home, new school, and new area when the new year hit, and I knew we were called to dive in and both foster community where we’re landed, as well as reach out in faith and form new bonds of community across miles, where appropriate.
In Jan of this year, we launched a postpartum community that has become a beautiful group of women and friends that I value deeply. We cheer each other on, listen to challenges, and encourage in the most fragile and important stages of healing, growing, and thriving after a birth. I am so grateful for how it’s blossomed and developed–especially as I prepare for another postpartum. Additionally, we’ve formed a few other important communities around different topics—business related, beautifully growing the influencers reading group I love dearly, and some communities on healthy motherhood and kids.
Then in our day to day lives, on the ground, we were able to dive more fully into the school community we’re blessed to be a part of, and to have real, deep friendships begin to take root—both among the kids, and with the parents. Which led us to beautiful summer nights up LATE under the stars, sharing wine and laughter with amazing new friends, who we now can’t imagine life without. Or beach days lingering into dusk, with the kids playing sand soccer, and celebrating life and sunshine with good people.
These are my 3 themes for 2018—I’m still marveling at how real and relevant they continued to be for me, even as my monthly goals, task lists, and details of life shifted.
For 2019…well, I have some that I’m close to committing to, but I’ll probably save them for another new year’s post.
I’d love to hear from you—do you explore themes and intentions as you kick off a new year? Will you explore themes and intentions as part of welcoming 2019? It’s fun if they start with the same letter, but not necessary, of course 😉 If you have any experiences to share about thinking in themes for seasons of life, I’d love to hear about it!
If you’re interested in trying this for the year 2019, I recommend just spending some time journaling, talking to those you trust, and seeing what comes up for you! You might be surprised at how quickly your heart and mind land on the themes you need to embrace for peace and growth in the coming year.
A super fun word of the year generator can provide additional inspiration and hilarity (while it’s random, it seemed uncannily relevant from all the folks we did it with last year). My word of 2018 that was generated for me was BALANCE. I can’t say I have it fully figured out, but I’m worlds more balanced in many aspects of life than I felt a year ago, at the holidays.
So here’s to a fresh start, a new perspective, a new way to approach new years.
Much love and thank you for being part of this blogging journey in 2018. I had no idea where it would lead and I’m just having a blast as we continue onward and upward!