I’m resurfacing and returning to blogging in this humble corner of the web, after a whirlwind fall 2019 into Jan 2020. We were doing a big renovation of an old home, and moved the family in right before Christmas. With this season of life, many things were put aside and the essentials came into clear focus. It helped to further frame some of my thoughts and experiences around healthy living, self-care, staying balanced even while being quite busy, and my mantra “radical self care for radical service” which I developed in the midst of trying to keep my sense of self, my achievements and balance in the midst of a busy season of motherhood. This phrase has resonated with many–we can sometimes struggle with feeling like self-care is actually selfish. And don’t get me wrong, it can be. Our cultural extremes of prioritizing expensive yoga weekends away in Costa Rica, massages, weekly manicures, and much more (gym memberships we hardly use) all justified by “self-care”. But in these busy seasons of life that we all experience, we can know all too well that without proper healthy habits, we can burn-out, or start being miserable, losing connection with the joy of the everyday, and our bigger purpose. I already faced that exact challenge (9 years ago, as a new mom, and pushing myself in a demanding career/work environment…it all fell apart, and took months of self-exploration to discover where things went wrong with my inability to have healthy boundaries and personal habits for effectiveness) That’s what led me to where I am now…a health & mindset coach. Sometimes our biggest challenges turn into our biggest blessings.
So for me, especially last year–when life demanded much of me, in the form of 4 small children (a brand new babe), running a business, launching new offerings, and renovating a home and moving the family–it became even more crystal clear to me–in the moments when life demands much of us; we need to work hard to BE at our best, so we can rise to the occasion.
And sometimes, those habits have to be streamlined to fit into the smallest margins of the day–not less important, just less time given to them.
In an era where we are increasingly sitting, often at desks, or hunched over a glowing screen, I believe that daily mindful/functional movement, and time outside, as well as consciously unplugged, away from our phones, is a crucial form of self-care, as well as a means to preserve our sanity and our mental and physical health. I am a big proponent (need to go back to this habit) of unplugged weekends, and mini 7 day screen detoxes…to keep ourselves free from the unhealthy patterns and behaviors related to it. We all know we need that space to be our most creative, alive, thoughtful, and focused.
I didn’t do a single gym workout btwn Sept-Dec, but I did manage to squeeze in regular walks with the boys–from our new home site, to local Church, and walking naps for them. Regular walks are so good for my mental health as well. I didn’t spend alot of time developing new recipes, or all those things my health coach self normally loves to do, but I (we) did eat well, to fuel ourselves for a busy season, and meal planned/prepped, batch cooked so that we wouldn’t get swallowed up by eating on a crazy schedule. We also learned to not sweat the small stuff as much, to give things up temporarily, knowing that things would re-balance and come into a new, better normal in our new lifestyle. Sometimes that perspective and mindset shift is all we need, and the most important thing to let go of is…expectations, and guilt!
I’ve spent 2 years resetting my own mindset to be around “intuitive eating” vs a restrictive/obsessive focus on “clean” eating. With so many ways of eating “healthy” out there, it can truly begin to take too much of our mental space. Clean eating is a means to an end, not an end in itself. During our busy project, we ate our fair share of meals grabbed on the go, take out (not Mcdonalds of course) etc while wrapped up with the home–BUT, having the baseline of self-care, resilience habits and tools built in, it meant that I didn’t go into overboard burn-out mode, like the me of a few years ago might have. I knew the demanding days required a strong balancing act, so I focused in on those few (simple, quick, affordable) self-care habits that work well for me. When you zero in on what those are, then you don’t have to worry as much about what the busy seasons of life will do. You know, that at your core, your priorities, values and habits can remain the same. And that you’ll be able to take in new things, and adjust/shift/offload (I said NO to quite a few normal commitments), and then re-evaluate and continue on as life evolves.
This was the opportunity to test all of what I’d been experimenting with, and I found that the exploration I had into mindful movement, intuitive eating and a “less is more” mentality regarding focus on exercise and health (yes, this coming from a coach!) served me VERY well in a season when absolutely every day, I needed to be functioning at my best. And don’t get me wrong, when you have a little one under 1, sleep is often the sacrificed element, and that can be hard, and wear on us, but we can also be strategic about the habits of REST that we build into each day.
Needless to say, at the start of this new decade, I’m completely in awe of the experiences of the past years, the lessons learned and where they’ve lead me. I hope to share bits of it, in case any of it is valuable. I know alll too well the familiar burn-out that is sadly quite common in our go-go-go culture. It can sneak in to our life without us realizing it, and it can steal our daily and deep joy.
I encourage you to consider–what are the daily tools and habits that are most important to you, to be at your best? What are the areas you’ve been ignoring or need to give attention to for a more balanced life? It might even be habits related to mental and emotional health, which cannot be neglected, just like our nutrition can’t be ignored without consequences…
It’s good to step out of the cliches of self-care, and do a deep personal examination. For one person–the loud cross fit gym is the perfect place to discipline themselves and build health, for another person, it’s quiet hikes in nature, alone. For one of us, it might be regular pedicures, and for another person, it might be more crucial for self-care to get time in prayer, or visiting with dear friends, or for a mom, to stroll through the grocery store alone can be the ultimate perspective/life giving habit…it’s all about being deeply AWARE of where you’re energized, where you’re drained, what habits will be a part of building you towards your larger, more long-term goals and desires. We explore all of this in my life design course, and it’s powerful, crucial stuff.
As I’m reminded by my dear husband, it isn’t good to idolize health, or to prioritize focusing on it, over other goods. BUT, it’s also true that a baseline of health–physical, mental, emotional, is crucial and needed for any service and good we hope to do in the world, in our families and communities. Otherwise we’ll end up causing more harm than good to ourselves and our endeavors, without a proper perspective and balance. Radical self-care for radical service is my choice, and how I want to live and model for my children to live.
What about YOU? How are your habits in this new decade, reflecting the sense of what you believe you’re called to accomplish in the coming months and years?!
And, just to get you started, here’s a few of my favorite weekly/daily self-care moments that help me. You’re going to create your own…just don’t be afraid to experiment and fight hard to make them part of your reality!
*Daily journaling/reading/praying in the am
*Pom Energy tea and chia seeds (I don’t drink caffeinated coffee, just tea or decaf)–this is my “secret energy drink” especially when mixed with the natural electrolytes.
*Daily vitalizer strip–my baseline of powerful nutrition that gives me fantastic energy & helps with sleep, digestion, and much more.
*Walks, several times per week, 1-3 miles, usually with kiddos. Time outdoors is soo important for our mental and physical health, even in the winter months.
*Easy salad mixes or shakes with collagen for lunch–making sure I don’t skip that meal.
*Healthy snacks in home and car, so I can reach for them quickly (trail mix, bars, etc).
*Once a week, out of the house, with no kids–time to breathe, read, think, maybe work a little, or just re-calibrate.
(If you don’t have kids, it might just be helpful, setting aside time each week to give yourself permission to explore new hobbies or interests, away from the pressures of your to-do list or job.)
*Stretching & simple yoga sequences, just reminders to reconnect with my body, breathing. Feeling where things feel stuck, releasing. Being grounded & grateful for the gift of a healthy body.
*Evening rituals: gratitude journal, epsom salt baths, cal mag supps, sometimes reading, bullet proof hot cocoa for good, restful sleep.
I can’t wait to hear what daily habits you’re creating in this new decade, to power you towards new dreams and goals!