Are you working nights and weekends to get a new project off the ground? Successfully running a small business out of your home? Embracing the flexibility of contract work? Building a team, slowly by surely?
Boy, have I been there, across every one of those phases. And you know what has turned out to be one of my favorite things about running a small business? TAX SEASON!
Today, I’m talking you through tax season as a small business owner, how to maximize deductions and minimize your stress. Having the right, strategic approach to doing your taxes as a small business owner can be the difference between success and failure, especially in the early years!
Why Small Business Tax Advantages Exist
There is nothing as terrifying and exhilarating as running your own thing. Whether you are doing it full-time, working toward doing it full-time, or just doing it for the extra income, you are part of a proud and mighty small business gang. More than most people, we know what it feels like to create and take risks with our skills and dreams.
My life changed dramatically when I left my career in nonprofit finance in NYC and embraced a more flexible life as a health coach, small business owner, and mother. I had far more time for my family, but I also was discovering more and more ways I wanted to show up in my community, and my business has slowly grown out of that.
Believe it or not, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has been a great friend to me from my very first year of business building. The IRS understands that building a business involves risk and they also know how important your small business or side income is for your family and for the economy as a whole. Our tax code and the IRS are built to support small businesses and to encourage people to take the professional and personal risks that result in a healthier, stronger, more vibrant economy for all of us.
Small business tax advantages are designed to make you more comfortable taking risks and investing in your business, knowing you can write off these expenses at the end of the year.
How Shifting Your Mindset about Taxes Can Help Your Business
Filing taxes is not just the annoyingly painful hassle we all make it out to be. How you file taxes for your small business or self-employment venture can mean the difference between success and failure if you let it shape your mindset.
The most important thing to remember about your taxes is that tax refunds are YOUR MONEY that the government is returning to you. When you work to maximize your deductions, all you are doing is giving the government as much information as possible about your income and your losses and expenses so that the government can figure out (based on all their codes and calculations) how much or how little they owe you or you owe them.
If you set out to maximize all the available deductions that IRS is willingly offering to you, you will start:
Being willing to invest more time and money INTO your business because you know you will be able to write off this investment.
Thinking more carefully and strategically about how you spend your money, how you spend your time, how you arrange your work station, and more.
Reaping the benefits in the form of large refunds that you can use to re-invest in your business, tuck into savings, or take yourself on a lovely vacation.
When you get excited about the small business deductions available to you, it inspires and empowers you to dream bigger for your business. Even when you are outsourcing your taxes or when you work with a CPA, you have a responsibility to ask lots of questions and ensure that whoever is filing for you understands the nuances of small business tax law so you can maximize your deductions.
Offering a New, Easy E-Course on Tax Advantages for Small Business Owners
Over the years, I’ve slowly realized just how unusual my love for tax season is and now, I want to teach you how to love it too (or at least, not hate it). This whirlwind video e-course (featuring yours truly) is my full mental download on everything I know and love about tax advantages for small business owners.
In it, you’ll learn the secrets that have resulted in BIG ($5-10K) tax refunds for me and my family over the last seven years.
You’ll finish this course in less than 2 hours and will have gained:
a host of new information and ideas,
concrete tools you can use to calculate your deductions
apps and sites recommended for tracking and streamlining your record keeping
a mindset shift around why this matters and why you need to be the one who’s informed and empowered (even if you are outsourcing your taxes or working with a CPA)
My sincere hope and goal for this course is that you grow to love tax season as much as I do. Course opens on Monday, March 15th so get on the waitlist below to be the first to see the email!
No matter how many times I’ve gone through this, it’s always such a miracle, and makes me pause often in wonder.
9 months is such a concrete and specific amount of time. Some weeks feel never ending, some months fly by in a blur (like the nesting intensity of the 2nd trimester). I found myself wanting to pause, be unplugged more this pregnancy—savoring this season and allowing myself to be aware of how it’s shaping me and the family, as we transition into our next chapter.
As we prepare to welcome a new life in April, I’m reflecting on these last nine months and sharing some of the ways I stay energized, grounded, and peaceful during pregnancy and post-partum.
6 weeks pregnant, among the sunflowers at end of summer.
Finding Out and the Early Days of Pregnancy
When we found out about this pregnancy, in early August, we just had to laugh. We had just survived a week long power outage due to a crazy summer hurricane, and only 2 weeks before had dived headfirst into our basement reno and were planning our first year of homeschooling (something I swore I’d never do, but now love fiercely). Crazy, but perfect timing, as always. It was truly a beautiful gift and a welcome one, but the exhaustion and nausea was more extreme with this one than it had been with my last (with Blaise I was happily unaware of my pregnancy until almost 18 weeks).
So the first days, while blessed, due to a wonderful live-in mothers’ helper and the long end of summer days when kids can happily play outside, were about rest. In the afternoons, instead of working I napped, happily outsourcing dinner prep most nights when my nausea was more extreme, and falling into bed wiped out in a way I wasn’t prepared for.
I was reminded once again (lessons of 2020) to be grateful to be able to strip away life to just the essentials. Not doing any more than was needed, and calling on help in large and small ways. This is a gift I’ve learned to do along the way—no super mom cape worn here—I just want a smoothly functioning household, happy kids, and the mental space needed to run a business and of course, continual home projects which bring me/us a lot of joy.
The First Trimester: An Invitation to Trust
Anyone who’s been through a miscarriage or baby loss in the first trimester knows what a mental and emotional journey it can be.
Every moment that you feel sick or exhausted or have strong signs of hormones wreaking havoc on your sense of normalcy, you can be relieved because it feels like thing is are going to be all right. Any moment you feel good for a few hours, or if the nausea subsides or you feel energized and “normal,” you begin to wonder—”is this normal? Is everything ok? Should I be concerned?” I definitely felt that tension this time around, and marveled at moms who have it much worse in terms of how sick they get—pregnancy is truly an act of self-gift in every way.
We kept the pregnancy a suprise (publically) until nearly half-way this time for various reasons, and it was fun to announce our “tie-breaker.” Not seeing people as often meant that it was an easier secret to keep!
We aren’t finding out the gender with this pregnancy, so how I’m feeling has led to lots of guessing about gender. The girls know that the pregnancies with them were slightly harder on me…so we’re speculating, but excited to be totally surprised.
Preparing with the Kids
I see the nearing of the end of Blaise’ days of being the baby, and it’s bittersweet—he truly captured our hearts from the first moment with his sweet spirit, and has been the most lively, precious, fun and uniting presence all this time, making us just enjoy every moment of his first 2 years. And now watching him transition to a more toddler and “big boy” awareness is beautiful, but also crazy to me. I’m being intentional about getting weekly outings out with each of the kids alone, and enjoying each of them for who they are right now, before everything shifts again.
Welcoming a new sibling certainly is a huge life adjustment, no matter the age or stage of development, and I’m more aware of preparing with them/through them this time around.
Second Trimester: Nesting, Home Renos, and Holidays
The nesting was fierce this pregnancy. Having the holidays/Christmas season during 2nd trimester was a blessing—we did a lot of celebrating, had a blast, and while “Santa” may have had complete pregnancy brain and forgotten where (s)he hid half the gifts that trickled in by packages, much less remembered to wrap them, it was a very special season indeed.
Wallpapering my stairs right before Christmas: one of the many small but impactful home projects we loved checking off on the to-do list.
We’ve done so many home reno details that were lingering after the long pause during the 2020 lockdown. Now, we’re full swing in phase 2 (basement) and the finishing details with a renewed intentionality and motivation to get things to a certain place before baby. Everyone loves a good deadline, and I’m thrilled about some of the space transformations that are being driven forward by this baby timeline.
Meanwhile, I’ve loved the focused energy on selecting details and making decisions; I’m already decisive but nesting makes me even more proactive and organized about our process! My husband is doing his own form of nesting by making sure we get all the details figured out for our complete basement makeover and making plans/budgeting for outdoor projects coming soon.
Third Trimester: Winter Rhythms and Slowing Down
Now, as we hunker down to survive the chilly early spring in CT, and enjoy coming out of a full month of snow days, hibernation and cozy winter moments, I’m grateful for both permission to nap by the fire and the extra hours for nesting projects like refinishing furniture pieces, and hanging shelves.
It’s been a reminder yet again (with work opportunities, goals, and schooling rhythms) that it’s all about taking life one day at a time, as it comes, simplifying to essentials and leaning joyfully into those, having no guilt about the other 1000 things that you’re not doing while in flow with kids or on home front around a specific topic or activity.
In this final trimester, I’m welcoming the support of iron transfusions to finish strong and prep well for birth (along with acupuncture, PT, reflexology and daily walks/teas). It’s important to embrace whatever is needed to make you at your best, during these final delicate and ever-changing months before baby.
The Joy of Welcoming a Baby in the Spring
We’re happily anticipating spring as the moment when everything will shift once again.
This is my first pregnancy following the seasons in that way, and giving birth in the spring (I have summer, fall and winter babies). I truly love it, it feels so in tune with nature’s ways…just like babies always appear on farms and in the wild, come spring. It has made the hibernation season and anticipation of a wonderful spring and summer with baby that much richer.
(Have any of you, readers, had spring babies? Did you experience this unique joy of being joined with Mother Nature and the seasons? Please reach out if so and let me know, I am curious about this now).
Pregnancy is when care for self is most evidently care for others, although much of motherhood invites us into this mystery.
As I embrace the invitation for deeper layers of rest and self-care during this pregnancy—yes, even while staying busy with homeschooling and home projects, it’s a reminder of what we’re willing to do for others. When I know that being at my best will also be best for baby, I run out of excuses to put off caring for myself.
For me, that’s been regular running this pregnancy (up until 29 weeks) and lots of walks, lots of sleep, magnesium/epsom salt baths, all the nourishing foods and intuitive eating (the best time to do it when cravings are so real, and so meaningful). It means regular reflexology, PT when I can get it in, and just being aware of what my body needs, respecting the process and how unique it is every time.
It’s such an important reminder, and even when it comes to the ebb and flow of my work, my creative process, the motivation I have for home transformations, and how I can focus in on the others, it’s important to just end each day in gratitude for the strength, energy and focus to be able to do these things, while growing a human. And the growing a human effort is always what takes precedence if I know something has to shift or give.
At 32 weeks, away for a blissful babymoon/birthday weekend.
This little one has taught me to be fiercely grateful for the chance and reminder to take life one day at a time, as it comes, never knowing when things will shift, but thankful for the chance to be aware and experience all of it.
I am eagerly awaiting this spring baby, and thankful for all the lessons and experiences of this particular pregnancy. This baby is a gift from 2020, and we just can’t wait to meet him or her (once we get a tiny bit further down the list of home projects and nesting ;)).
At the end of this post, I share more resources about my favorite prenatal regimen and how I have “so much energy” during pregnancy. You know I’m passionate about sharing this and coaching other mommas who are on their journeys to having thriving pregnancies, births and postpartum experiences.
I think the habits, both physical and mental, that you set up during mid to late pregnancy are crucial for determining how you’ll do in postpartum. You also need to be rallying all the support you can find for those beautiful and fragile first weeks with baby so you can rest and recover together.
34 weeks. Some days it doesn’t feel “real” yet, but we’re getting close! And can’t wait to meet our little tiebreaker.
I’m enjoying these final weeks waiting for baby, grateful that we made time last week for a mini babymoon/weekend getaway, thrilled to have family coming through for visits, and generally just taking life a few days at a time.
Some days it feels still unreal, I’m waiting for the reality of it to sink in, and yet I know that everything about the past months has been a beautiful, focused preparation season on so many fronts…and we’re nearly ready.
2021 has already proven to be a year of expansion, beautiful surprises, abundance and new blessings. I believe this baby will be the culmination of all of that, and we’ll spend the summer getting to know him/her, and adjusting our family, home and life rhythms in accordance with the gift.
New life always brings with it an expansion, a deeper sense of God’s gifts and our true purpose here: to love. We’re so thrilled to be in the life phase of welcoming this growth and this little one.
OTHER RESOURCES/POSTS about pregnancy you might appreciate:
My girls and I started talking about this idea in late January…we love to host (limited socializing in covid has not dampened our love for a good party)…and wanted to celebrate friendships & plan a fun treat for ourselves & our gal pals on Valentines.
It feels like just yesterday my girls were 3 & 6, just starting to love tea party traditions…and we used to throw them with their friends for just about any occasion and on cozy winter afternoons. As I look at them now, 7 & 10, I know that when I blink they will be teenagers & then heading off…these moments feel so precious, and a big part of living #inspiredmotherhood for me, is leaning into the things we love to do together (they have a fierce love of hosting & planning special events)…and I never regret it.
It was fun to spend time gathering the needed items & the girls poured themselves into the details, which made it more fun (easy) for me, and a wonderful event from start to finish. We had fun prepping with our favorite neighbor babysitter/mothers helper–it’s all about the details & my girls really enjoyed going all out.
Going all out doesn’t mean exhausting yourself by doing everything…It’s always good to choose to save time/energy where you can (we bought rather than made chocolate covered strawberries, but went all out in other things like prepping origami valentines packets for each guest)…just cut yourself slack & do the things that feel most fun or important.
Sharing some pics & some details of what we came up with, in case you’re inspired to try the same with the little or big gal pals in your life 😉 Doesn’t have to be for valentines…can be for any occasion!
Good friendships are so important, and so worth celebrating.
They featured a seltzer based punch with strawberry slices, orange juice, and food dye to make it that bright pink (but not too sweet). Genius.This Rose Tea from Organic India was a big hit with the girls, and if you haven’t tried it yet, I think you’ll like it too 🙂 The snack platters featured cheeses (heart shaped brie ;)), pita chips berries, grapes, apple chips, fruit slices & nuts/trail mix. Super delicious & beautiful too.Always fun to have an excuse to dress up & enjoy treats & chats with good girl friends.
They had a blast…and managed to do a number on all the snacks, sandwiches & platters, in addition to the candy & cookies. Then they went out sledding in the back, because February in CT means a foot of snow on the ground is life as normal 😉
Vintage tea set we got from my friend’s shop Something Special Vintage shop in Wilton made the table setting perfect. You can find beautiful vintage tea sets & they are worth storing for occasions like these.
My friend Antonette is a fantastic baker (sweettreatsbyantonette) and she made us a cookie kit–decorating cookies added to the tea party & gave the girls all something to contribute…and to take a few home for their parents. Find a local baker & support them, or make your own cookies/icing before your tea party for an extra fun surprise 😉
Subtitled: Why this health coach stocks junk food for her kids
This time of year, many of us are doing an overhaul of habits, starting with how we eat. Maybe holiday indulgences left you feeling sluggish & not at your best? Maybe you have health goals for yourself in 2021? Maybe you simply want more clarity and time saving techniques around how you feed yourself or your family?
Even if you have other goals weighing on you (organizing and refreshing spaces of your home, decluttering your life and schedule, taking on new challenges), starting with what and how you eat ensures more peace and energy for all these other things.
I’ve tried a lot of different approaches to how we approach food as a family, and I wanted to share a candid look at an average week around the Pidel homestead: what we stock, what we eat, and a bit about why.
Intuitive Eating – An Approach to Eating and Nutrition That’s Good for Body and Soul
I find that New Year’s resolutions, especially around food & making changes, can be a bit restrictive. Yes, of course we all know we can’t just keep eating holiday cookies non-stop. But we also want to truly enjoy and relish seasons of feasting and treats. The big question is: what does a balanced & abundant set of food choices look (and feel like) for you?
A few years back – three to be precise – I decided I was done with nutritional fads. This is coming from someone who’s been no stranger to a diet & “clean eating” mentality.
I used to be very restrictive about foods that I considered acceptable, and was vegetarian & even vegan for a period of time (after my 2nd daughter was born). I studied over 100 dietary theories in my preparatory studies to be a health coach, and while many of them have value, the idea of restriction, and the subsequent mental games caused by restriction remain.
How freeing would it be to just eat what we want, when we want it, and to trust our cravings & our bodies to know what is best? The foundation of this kind of freedom has to come out of an attitude of caring and reverence for our bodies, an attitude that does not fit well with only giving them a steady stream of Oreos & ice cream.
So many of our struggles with consuming too much of foods that don’t support our overall health come about because our bodies are depleted nutritionally, not able to eliminate toxins well, and sending us confused signals in the form of cravings for sugar and processed foods. Supporting our bodies with good nutrients in food and supplements helps regulate those craving signals so they can be trusted again.
This, my friends, is the beauty of Intuitive Eating. It’s a school of thought, a philosophy that I deeply believe in, and I have seen work wonders when implemented in many of my clients’ lives through our work on the subject. I’ve also seen it take root beautifully in my own approach as a wife & mother of 4, as we experiment with what this can look like for us, both me as an individual, and my family.
Here’s some ideas of what works for us.
A Full Veggie Drawer with Easy to Eat Items
Our fridge always has full (emptying) veggie drawers. We emphasize leafy greens, spinach & kale in shakes, salads (don’t be afraid to use salad kits for ultra simplicity! If it’s complicated to make a salad it may not happen). Cucumbers with ranch are a favorite snack of the kids, and celery is a great option for me (PB & celery is my go-to for a quick fiber & protein rich snack).
The trick with veggies is to make it available and appealing in order for a good habit to form. We roast them often, and sneak them into recipes, like I’m sure many of you do.
Flexible, Tasty Fridge Staples
Our fridge and pantry always have a variety of basics that I know work well for breakfasts or snacks on the go.
We usually have bagels (gasp!) and bread of various kinds, usually Dave’s Killer Bread for our toast & sandwiches, sometimes loaves of fresh (locally made) bread from our favorite bakery. We have all the usual condiments, yogurt, a cheese drawer (cheese sticks are another great healthy snack to always have at the ready for littles), and basically a lot of “typical” things.
These kinds of items can absolutely be a party of your healthy lifestyle. Unless you have specific health issues or allergies, there’s no reason why gluten and dairy can’t play a great role in your balanced eating.
I don’t go overboard with making ultra healthy meals, or obsessing over my kids’ eating. We keep a huge variety around, from ultra healthy to a bit less so, and we guide & encourage the kids when they’re able to make their own choices (snack times). With meals, they have less choice, but we allow a gentle “trying it out” principle to guide their developing taste buds & expose them to new foods. Currently I’m on a bigger seafood kick and enjoying incorporating it into our meal plan. The kids enjoy these new GF fish sticks & I love how healthy (and yummy) they are.
A Wide Variety of Pantry Items, Some Very Healthy, Some Less So
Our pantry shows more of the same…flexibility, shall we call it.
Yes, I do stock normal whole wheat white flour (looks like we’re out now after Xmas baking!), but I also keep a bunch of different flour options like einkorn flour, GF flour, almond flour, etc. I often bake gluten free by choice, & it’s fun testing out what my family will accept. They have a nose for if it’s too “healthy”! This keeps me on my toes, trying to make sure that flavor/texture is delicious, even if gluten-free or I’ve swapped out coconut oil for corn oil, etc!
The same principle goes with our dinners. If I can find small ways to make it healthier or sneak in extra veggies, I will always go for it, but I don’t let that stop us from enjoying normal dishes we all love.
We emphasize a lot of different grains. Rice is a staple during our weeks for our meals, and I don’t stress too much if they want mac-n-cheese once in a while. If I’m making pasta ragu, I will definitely be sneaking spinach into it. Tacos are a staple, as is chili.
On the whole, our meal plans probably look surprisingly “normal,” but I do try to make sure I’m introducing some new flavors and types of dishes into our routine. Food & eating as a family should be experimental, fun & bring joy, after all. We often use Blue Apron meals (the convenience of having meals delivered to our doorstep) to introduce new recipes & ethnic foods into their diet (less access to ethnic foods where we live now than when we lived in NYC, 😔)
We will always challenge the kids to try new foods, in addition to building a healthy vocabulary around food. For example, we try not to label things as “bad,” “yucky,” “bad for you,” or “clean” as much as helping them realize: “ok, so you had some sugar or processed snacks today….how did you feel afterwards?” Following the 80/20 concept, we generally (80% of the time) eat with very high quality, nutrient rich foods of all kinds, so the other 20% of the time, we allow them to indulge within reason & find their own balance.
I’ve seen many friends & clients recovering from unhealthy mental habits around food, coming out of childhood–either with lack of food awareness, how nutritious food supports them, or not knowing what foods they do best with, or too much restriction around what they could eat. Processsed food = guilt & therefore heightened desire/fascination …and it’s forefront to me to provide my kids–by word & example–a healthy relationship (stemming from gratitude & positivity) with food & the role it plays in life.
Creating a more exploratory approach to it that encourages them to connect the foods they eat with how they actually feel is the key to helping them develop their own internal sense of what foods help them feel their best. This is something I’ve worked on with myself as well, and it has led to my own mindset shifts & a much greater food freedom.
We all know there isn’t one “diet” or way of eating that works for everyone (things like blood type, heredity, activity levels, genetics & more will play into what YOU need to thrive)…the fads will come and go, what matters is that you begin to trust yourself more, experiment more, and enjoy the process on your path to a new mindset around intuitive eating.
Nutrition beyond food – Finding Supplements to Support Your Health and Eating
And because healthy eating is only one piece of the vibrant healthy lifestyle puzzle, I’ll share a peek at our supplement drawer.
Supplements for the Kids
I have been marveling that the kids haven’t been sick once this year, and I’m reminded that we’ve had a lot less social contact than normal! But this is also not that unusual for us. This baseline of tools and supplements supports them immensely, and – knock on wood! – we haven’t had a doctor’s sick visit in going on three years (yes, wow!).
If they ever come down with something mild, we nip it in the bud in 24 hours or less and they go back to being vibrant, healthy, active kiddos. That is a momma’s dream come true & I never take it for granted (or get tired of spreading the word about this toolkit that has helped us and other families so much!)
The new immunity elderberry gummies are quite popular. They call them “the black vitamins” and can’t get enough! (The serving size is four, so they get to enjoy a couple most days).
Supplements for Me
I personally rely so much on a baseline of best-in-class nutrition to support my best energy levels & lifestyle. This system just works, and it allows my body to feel nourished & whole. Keeping up a good regimen of vitamins and supplements reduces my cravings in general, and allows me to make (mostly) healthy choices, and to indulge joyfully & wisely, when opportunities arise. Because my body is getting the nutrition it needs, I can rely on my cravings to guide my eating.
It allows me to be at my best, and most importantly, it frees up my energy ( and gives me more of it) to be MORE to the many beautiful dreams I have on my heart: to be a mother of 4 (soon to be 5); to be a business owner/entrepreneur with a growing, thriving business; and to be showing up in my community & world with as much care, intention & generosity as I can muster.
Whatever your dreams and goals for 2021 are, you deserve to be vibrant, energetic, and enjoying deep wellness, so you can show up at your best level. “Radical self care for radical service” continues to be my mantra & tagline. I hope it resonates with you too.
In 2021, I’d love to have all of us allow our relationship with food to be gentle & more intuitive. Less macro counting and more joy around the dinner table with loved ones, less of a restriction mindset and more of an abundance mindset.
Food can be our medicine, in many more ways than we may realize. And healing a relationship with food that is negative or controlling or just taking up too much mental space (like I had to do) is…..well, beautiful & freeing. It is also possible, and if you’re not there yet, you deserve to see just how much food can become an arena for joy and freedom in your life.
Cheers to an amazing start to the new year! I’ve got an exciting new course in the works all about Intuitive Eating…jump onto this list below to be the first to know when it’s available! When you sign up, I’ll also send you my 5 free intuitive eating mantras & affirmations/mindset tools to help jumpstart peace and food freedom.
What a year. In so many ways, a time of testing, and of turning upside down so many things we held dear or took for granted.
At the same time, it’s been a year with a multitude of blessings: a chance for more calm, more space, more quiet, more time with loved ones, less stress and everyday bustle. We’ve had to really re-evaluate all our commitments and relationships, now with a new context of being safe and responsible regarding the virus, but also with an eye to the new, huge array of opportunities.
I am grateful that my family has experienced blessings in this year, and I’m keenly aware of how difficult this year has been for so many. Many families have lost income, had to relocate in the midst of the pandemic, have juggled competing work and childcare demands, and done it all in isolation from much needed help from family and friends.
In many ways, we were spared from the worst of the crisis. Our family was very lucky not to have our financial wellbeing threatened. We had no job loss or lack of economic opportunities, and we had safely settled into our new home in a great neighborhood just before the lockdown hit. By this time last year, our huge home renovation project was (miraculously) at a calm and reasonable pausing point.
But I also know that none of us were un-affected. The normalcy of going to playgrounds, seeing friends, going to restaurants, museums, and school, was all called into question. My family began to have a totally home-centered life, and while it suits us well and we really love it and thrive here in our home, it was still something that required a stripping of expectations, a surrender, a re-orienting of hearts and minds.
At the beginning of 2020, I choose three words for the year: Simplicity, Savoring, and Surrender.
Choosing words for each year is a practice I began a few years back. I tend to be a performance oriented person. I love my lists, my goals, my short-term and long-term planning. For me, choosing words or themes or virtues to define my year keeps me focused on the gentler, bigger picture of growth and the life I want to live, rather than putting too much emphasis on a list of goals or thresholds to measure my performance or my worth.
Choosing these themes and words has proven to be immensely helpful for me. I like to stick with three, both so that there can be some distinction and diversity between the concepts and also so the alliteration keeps them front of mind.
Clearly, the Holy Spirit had something in mind for me when He led me to simplicity, savoring, and surrender for 2020. Lessons that I’m still unpacking.
In early 2020. I savored our home even as we painted, cleaned, cleared out, and finished many of our spaces to be a place we truly love. I savored many moments with kids, unexpected time with the girls home from school, then a transition to homeschooling this fall. I savored our ability to shape and work hard to create meaning, balance, flow, and peace in days that were now, suddenly, so open-ended.
We savored watching spring turn to summer, watching our littles grow before our eyes, long golden days and evenings in our new garden, romping in the yard, swimming at our local lake, eating dinner outside. We savored all the time with dad during the time he was home with us (in lockdown). We savored regular walks, local hikes, moments in nature, and all things that were “safe” to do. We savored new neighborhood relationships and friendships that deepened during quarantine.
We embraced simplicity, of life and of schedule. Weekly trips to the grocery store were considered our outings. The focus was simple days, simple pleasures, simple moments with kids: sitting and reading to them, playing, cultivating of our home spaces, gardening & tending to our outdoor spaces, cooking, and doing dishes peacefully, after months of living in a constant state of upheaval and stretched between two homes in fall 2019. I saw my kids embrace simpler days and thrive without having to leave our home, neighborhood yards, or walkable town. Their contentment inspired me to dig deeper into simple joyful routines of my own.
Simplicity & embracing what’s essential…giving in to days that prioritize rest, nourishment, connection, and creativity….are beautiful seasons indeed. That’s what 2020 allowed for many of us. Stripping away the extra & superfluous led us deeper into the callings of our heart, our creative natures, allowed us to stretch, learn new things, care for our selves & families & homes in new intentional ways.
I surrendered (not always graciously) to the day-in-day-out demands of motherhood with four littles. The hard moments jumble right up next to the simple and beautiful ones, and it leaves me every evening falling into bed exhausted and knowing I gave my all.
I surrendered my expectations of what home life, work life, and school life would look like, when they all blurred together even more than before (and yet, beautifully, I saw how they informed, inspired, and lifted each other up). I also surrendered the pain and frustration of challenging relationships that were not working anymore, letting go of bitterness and letting our smaller, slower life show me that it was okay to forgive and move onward in peace.
I surrendered my hopes for a school year that would look like the previous ones had and embraced the beautiful mess (sometimes not beautiful, just messy) of homeschooling. I surrendered to a tough(er) first trimester with this baby, grateful that in those early weeks when I napped daily, was constantly nauseous, and rarely (never) made dinner, we had a dear cousin able to come stay with us to help. I surrendered yet again to allowing my work goals to shift and look different for the fall (and yet, somehow to feel more confident and passionate about what I doing than ever before as I watch so many of us step back to reconsider and redesign our lives). We started work on our unfinished basement, and surrendered (me, less than patiently) with the delays, setbacks, and challenges of doing renovation work during Covid-19.
As I look ahead to the spring, I am surrendering my expectations (me, the ultimate planner) to what life will look like with five. I know it will be different, will stretch us, and will be beautiful just as every stage of life has before it.
Surrender doesn’t come easily for me. But I’m immensely grateful for all the opportunities to watch a bigger, better plan unfold this year and to learn to expand my heart and mind, always.
These three themes helped guide, anchor, and motivate me during some of the challenges of the year. They helped me appreciate all the good moments…simple and savoring as they might be.
2020…the year we embraced HOME and fell deeply in love with ours. The year I transitioned from “I’ll never homeschool” to “we’re going to do this and give it our best shot,” and then fell in love with the pace of life it gives us. The year we relished each social gathering and strategically chose the friendships to invest in and allowed others to recede. The year when family became more central than ever.
I will never forget this year. I’m truly grateful for the lessons that I needed to learn. I hope to carry them with me as we step across the threshold of the new year and acknowledge just how much resilience and strength this year has required of us.
Congrats on making it to the end of 2020! You’re a different version of yourself, hopefully a version you’re proud of or surprised by. The odds are that you did some pretty extraordinary things this year, and it’s good to celebrate what you’ve endured and worked through. Here’s to building on all of this, and running into 2021, together!
Curious: What were your main lessons & takeaways from 2020?
Have you ever chosen themes or intentions for your new year?
Thanks for being part of my 2020. You’re a big part of the reason why I wake up every day inspired, hopeful, and ready to continue doing my small part to make this world better, brighter, kinder.
If you’re like me, Christmas mornings always feel FULL…our focus is always on being together, opening stockings, gifts & relaxing to enjoy each present & moment with our families. In our house, 4 little ones & next year…5, means I want to be fully present to the beautiful chaos rather than in the kitchen on Christmas morning. Of course, we want to eat a delicious brunch once we’re done opening gifts, but it’s nice when the majority of the work is done in advance.
In this case, I made the quiche & the coffee cake the day before, and we re-heated on the big day. My family is also obsessed with biscuits & gravy, which comes from their dad’s Southern roots & is a tradition I accept because he takes responsibility for it 😉
I will share a link for that simple recipe too, in case it inspires you.
Christmas brunch menu
*Festive Quiche (recipe below)…just choose red & green veggies and voila.
*Fruit platter (we went with a red & green fruit theme, and some family favorites like cantaloupe & pomegranates…do what your crowd loves best)
*Sour cream coffee cake (recipe below), one from my childhood, moist & incredibly good.
*Side of bacon or sausage if you have meat lovers in the crowd
Christmas morning memories are some of the best there are…I hope these recipes & ideas help you have a peaceful, beautiful & truly inspired morning with loved ones.
All my love,
maddy
Sour cream coffee cake
Ingredients (filling):
1/2 c packed brown sugar
1/2 c finely chopped nuts
1.5 tsp ground cinnamon
Ingredients (cake):
3 cups all purpose flour
1.5 tsp baking powder
1.5 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp salt
1.5 cups granulated (I used raw) sugar
3/4 cup butter, softened
1.5 tsp vanilla
3 large eggs
1.5 cups sour cream
Ingredients (glaze):–optional (I find it plenty sweet & delicious without this)
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
2-3 tsp milk
Directions:
Pre-heat oven to 350. Grease bottom and sides of 10×4 inc angel food cake pan, 12 cup fluted tube pan, or 2 9×5 in loaf pans with butter or coconut oil/shortening. In a small bowl, stir all filling ingredients until well mixed; set aside. In a large bowl, stir flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt until well mixed, set aside. In another large bowl (ideally kitchenaid to make it easier), beat sugar, butter, vanilla and eggs on medium speed for 2 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Beat about 1/4 of the flour mixture and sour cream at a time, alternating, into sugar mixture on low speed until blended.
For pans: if using a round pan, spread 1/3 of the batter in pan, then sprink with 1/3 of the filling, repeating 3 times. For loaf pans, spread 1/4 of the batter in each pan, sprinkle 1/4 of filling, then repeat, once.
Bake angel food or fluted cake pan about 1 hour, loaf pans about 45 min or until toothpick or knife inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 min in the pan on wire rack. Tastes amazing warm and equally amazing reheated the next day!
Breakfast Quiche
Ingredients:
1/2 a red bell pepper, diced & roasted
1 cup spinach or kale, lightly sauteed to soften
1 pie crust (pre-made is fine, we’re trying to simplify 😉 For GF, you can find GF crust, or make your own, or omit the crust entirely, it will still be incredible.
4 large eggs
1/2 c heavy cream
3/4 c milk
1/2 c shredded swiss cheese
1 small onion, finely chopped
salt & pepper
optional: 4 slices bacon, cooked, or 2-3 sausage patties if you want to add meat. It’s delicious either way!
Directions: Preheat oven to 400. Line pie pan with crust, and bake for 8-10 minutes. Mix cheese, eggs, cream and milk together. Once the pie crust is cooling, add onions, veggies, meat, and the wet ingredients, salt & pepper. Bake for 10 minutes at 400, then turn oven down to 325 and bake for approx 45 more min…quiche will be golden brown & bubbling when done. Let cool for at least 1 hour before serving. I suggest making it Christmas eve, and then reheating at 300 for 20 min on Christmas morn! Bon Appetit!
If you make these dishes, tag me @maddypidel on insta or with hashtag #inspiredeats.
“One who has health has hope, and one who has hope has everything”
~Arabian Proverb
Never has this been more true & apparent than in 2020.
The idea of giving the gift of health & non-toxic living might strike you as surprising, but in reality, when we think of our loved ones and friends, it is one of the things we most want for them!
Here’s any easy way to shop, stuff stockings, and while you’re at it, grab some health goodies for your healthiest December & new year!
Happy gifting (and grabbing healthy items for yourself)!
If you filled out a meology assessment in recent weeks, and we haven’t connected about it, feel free to email me and we’ll set up a time to chat…thrilled about the response & supporting you all in personalizing your nutrition is my joy. hello@maddypidel.com or text me 😉
*The immunity offers continue through 11/30–enjoy free immunity tea, immunity gummies or triple defense boost with orders over $125, can combine with items from the holiday gift guide, above!!!
Referral $$$! Love the new gift $10/get $10…find the link to share in your member center…thank you for gifting health & spreading the love!
Ready for an inspired life? Start with the popular 5 week life design course–to take you from where you are now–to grounded, fulfilled & in flow, making major momentum towards your life goals.
Follow it with 100 days of coaching with my popular 7 step inspired life framework, to take you from stressed life to best life, from burnout & exhausting or juggling too much, losing momentum & inspiration, to focused, happy, in flow, and tackling all your big goals in 2021? Programs starts in January & is 30% off through 11/30.
Here’s all the direct links below to read more & secure your spots for the new year!!! Bundle pricing is available, now through 12/31!
*Shout out of gratitude for my sister Annie who faithfully edits & improves these posts!*
Exactly a year ago, we signed the papers & grabbed the keys for our very own fixer upper home project, one that we knew would stretch & challenge us. In some ways, it’s a very good thing we didn’t know just how in over our heads we would feel last fall as we rushed to renovate most of the main spaces before moving in. We had no idea how it would all unfold, but we were excited & ready.
The good news is, here we are, a year later…so happy, so grounded and at home in this space that’s both old and new. It’s been a shelter & our true happy place during the turmoil of 2020. We’re thrilled with the progress we’ve made and always neck deep in the next project. Currently working on Phase II which is finishing the large basement & creating our ideal rec room, and finishing the mud room (garage entrance) and laundry space.
I sketched the outline for this post a year ago when I was fresh out of the late nights—staying up painting trim, welcoming crews each morning, and just generally in the thick of it. Even at that time, I could tell the experience was changing me and changing our family. But as with all things, it’s taken time for this post to go from a seed in my mind to germinated thoughts & experiences in full bloom.
Now, a full year later, I’m excited to take this anniversary as an opportunity to share some of these thoughts about our #pidelprojecthome (@pidelprojecthome).
Transformations require massive amounts of patience.
We live in a world of quick updates & slap-dash before/afters bombarding us from social media. Not everyone likes to acknowledge the slow process, the messy middle, the curveballs, the two-steps-forward-one-step-back that comes with real, beautiful, timeless transformations…of homes and of our hearts & selves.
2. It often has to look worse before it looks better.
Picture any house after the demo process of ripping everything out—piles of dust & old radiators, moldings, junk everywhere. We literally had four dumpsters for our project over the span of four months, slowly carting away old layers of the house to replace it with new.
It’s a bit like someone in the middle of a KonMari de-cluttering when all their belongings are laid out in piles on their floor. It can be hard to start these kinds of excavations of spaces and selves because we’re fearful of this element of the process. It quickly becomes larger than our control, and we have to surrender to the process itself, until with the lack of tidiness comes a true sense that big things are happening here. That’s when we have to lean in.
3. People won’t undertand the process and that’s okay.
During our intense nine-week timeframe for renovation (yes, we did it as a major sprint because we didn’t have to be living there during the time), I felt like we were in a bubble, a completely all-engrossing cloud, that others couldn’t really reach us in.
That was hard for me at first, and then I became at peace with it. Sometimes, when you’re committed to making big changes in your life, and you set out to take those actions, it will feel lonely at first. Things are shifting & the relationships in your life may change too. Not everyone will be able to relate to where you are and why you’re doing it. That’s okay. Once you move past the grief of this, it can be incredibly freeing.
And these times of intense growth can still allow for powerful relationships, it just has to be based on a new kind of communication and an acknowledgment of just how different things are. You need people who can love you where you’re at, as you evolve. Anyone who can relate to & stick with you through an intense growth phase is a keeper, a friend you will value more deeply than ever.
4. The vision is what will enable you to carry through the tough moments.
I talk a lot about vision boards. There’s something so important and powerful about creating a clear vision of where you’re headed. With design, it’s obviously an essential step to creating the new space, but it has a similar importance when we’re considering the future life that we’re creating for ourselves (and how our own personal work ties into that life vision).
It’s scary, but so powerful to put a visual up on a wall (yes, I’m a big believer in doing it old-school style for maximum daily connection) to remind yourself every day where you’re headed. Keeping eyes on that vision is your best chance to pulls through the tough moments when we wonder whether it’s all worth it.
5. The result of hard work is always beautiful, and you’re forever changed.
This one is so simple, but so powerful. When we sat up & rubbed the dust off (and took off our painting clothes), we looked at each other, my husband and I, and marveled at just how much we had changed, alongside the spaces we were working on.
Our hearts & our eyes can see when work has been poured into a space (or a personal transformation). The love and care & detail that went into it becomes its spirit. Same with our own inner work: the results show up in who we become and enter into every future interaction we have. It’s the BE-DO-HAVE model, lived out. In order to be ready to welcome our abundant beautiful life in our new home, it required us to allow ourselves to change first, before having what we had desired & envisioned. (More on this in my life design program if you’re intrigued)
6. Simplicity is always a good idea. Complicating things creates more excuses, mental clutter, & reasons for it not to work. Keep it simple.
This is just as true with personal growth as with an old home. Don’t overcomplicate things. Stay focused on the vision & the clear path that can get you there. Over-complicating things is usually a form of resistance—our brain & ego keeping us from just GOING FOR IT and going all in.
7. You will NOT do it alone.
Yes, you may experience loneliness as you realize that your former relationships aren’t carrying you in the same way on this courageous journey you’re on. But in reality, there will be key people who serve as inspiration, as mentors, as coaches, as friends, and you will be amazed by the NEW help & relationships that come into your life when you undertake this kind of journey. We absolutely learned this during our project, and we were blown away by the people that stepped up & truly saw this project out to its conclusion, even when the going got tough and the deadlines were real.
8. The effort is transformative in itself because we learn to work hard for things that matter to us.
This one was a hard one for me, and boy did our home renovation teach us this. It’s easy to focus on the glamorous side of a reno: picking out the tiles, materials, and colors. But then you hit the nitty gritty: the late nights, encouraging workers to meet their deadlines, hauling materials in every weekend, the millions of runs to Home Depot, bringing out boxes and boxes in an ice storm as part of project clean up…these are the experiences that make us love & value our home even more. The lessons learned from the hard work can be seen as their own reward…and they add to the beauty of the final product!
9. Break it into simple, doable steps, day by day, so as not to get overwhelmed.
This is very true in reno life. It’s literally, one thing at a time, one layer at a time, overlapping trades needed for certain moments, building upon each other’s work. The over-arching goal remains, but the steps & focus for each day is bite-sized. The way we kept ourselves from being overwhelmed in moments with this huge house project was to focus on what we could accomplish just in that day or week. Then the next. And soon…you realize it’s nearly complete!
It’s true in our personal work too. It’s why I coach my clients not to set too many goals or priorities…feeling overwhelmed will keep you from moving any of them forward. Same thing goes for setting stretch or unreachable goals—we need to be working on something that we can see to the end of, and then we go a bit further the next time, building momentum & confidence as we go. Set yourself up to have frequent, small wins, and soon you’ll be addicted to the stretch & growth of personal development.
We moved in 4 days before Christmas so this felt like a true Christmas miracle.
10. Stay humble and make gratitude the focus.
Loving attention to detail, bringing order & beauty, and new life & vision out of old & worn out habits/patterns/ways of life is the great gift we are all called to discover & live. Transforming an old home last year drove home all these lessons that I’ve been learning in my own work in personal development, my own journey, as well as coaching others through transformations in their health, life, and businesses.
The gift of living in a home that has been transformed through a vision made reality by daily sweat, communication, logistics, and effort, that we had the privilege to shape, design, and put intentional effort is a great reminder of a deep truth about all transformations. Namely, we must trust the process, build patience, stay open to all the ways that change, once begun, will be out of our control and will take us to places we’ve never even imagined going.
However, the initial choice is always ours—to take a chance and begin to tear down old walls, so that new ones can be built.
Maddy’s note: this is my 100th blog post! I had no idea when we started this humble project a few years back, where it would take us, and how much we would enjoy the process. Thanks to all you faithful readers, and a huge shout-out and thank you to my sister Annie, my talented editor.
This post was featured in the Theology of Home roundup on August 5, 2020.
Our humble garden has been changing the pace of our summers for four years now.
It started as a fun project that we took on when moving to the “country,” and has become something we look forward to each year. The first year was a lesson in many things, but mostly in eagerness. We enjoyed building the beds and planting a large multitude of different seeds and seedlings, only to realize we could overcrowd the plants, and that we had alot to learn about tending them into a fruitful harvest.
When I started my gardening habits four years ago, I was in a season of mild postpartum anxiety (PPA) and was generally overwhelmed. Adjusting from two to three kids was hard for me, and on top of that, we had made a big (wonderful) move to a more rural lifestyle, out of the crazy hustling pace of New York City. It was a lot of change, and I needed a full reset of the pace that I’d grown accustomed to. I knew that life could be simpler, slower, and richer in little ways, but I struggled to relinquish the cultural pressures of hustle, “more,” and “instant,” and my kids did too.
As we learned to tend our plants that first summer, I saw a shift in all of us. Of appreciation for simple daily miracles, of slowness, of wonder at the beauty of our world, and at our chance to cultivate a small corner of it.
Over these four summers, we’ve spent some beautifully memorable hours prepping, tending to it (though we’re very low-maintenance about it relative to some expert gardeners), and of course, harvesting, as we are now in July and August.
There are cherry tomatoes we eat like candy, herbs for nightly dinner enhancements (and cocktails, of course), and other things like cucumbers and zucchinis, eggplant, bell peppers, that appear almost overnight and miraculously…the growth can almost be seen if you watch closely. It reminds me of how it feels to watch my children, ages almost 10 to 18 months, growing before my eyes with the simple ingredients of summer: food, sunshine, and long hours of play.
In a culture that emphasizes and values consumption over all (think our overflowing homes, netflix subscriptions and screen consumption, constant need for new, different, the way social media fans the flames of need cycles), I know that our humble attempt to grow a garden is something that helps me pause. To lean towards other values. Of cultivation, care-taking, and a slower pace of life.
Why we garden: some thoughts
Gardening is an excellent form of the “unplugging” and resetting that we all need, especially in the midst of a year that has challenged everything about our sense of normalcy.
In the past, we, like many other families, have gone down the path of summertime crowding and the “consumption” of experiences like camps, activities at the library, and vacations away. I’m still sometimes guilty of falling prey to this, but the presence of our garden and the life flourishing right there in that patch, pulls me back to a more grounded reality, helping me relish staying home and living expansively within our spaces.
A book that I read last summer drove home this perspective from another angle. There are some nearly forgotten values that we would do well to build our lives on—sustainability, cultivation, peace, patience, and a long-term perspective. Cultivating these values leads us to make decisions that have positive ripples for years and decades to come.
I don’t know how much my kids will remember of all of this, or if they will cherish home grown foods or choose to plant a garden in their future lives, but I do know that they take so much pride in the veggies they are growing here today. They eat them willingly, proudly tasting the fruits of their labor, and I believe they have a deeper sense of wonder and appreciation for the earth and its fruits knowing the process that we go through, from seed to harvest.
Living in tune with nature’s rhythms
When we start our seeds in the frigid April air of Connecticut or buy our tiny seedlings from local farms in May, we are committing with hope and joy to the cycles of the year; the long hot days are soon to come.
And in August, when the cherry tomatoes are bursting with ripeness and we walk by and pop them in our mouths as we wander around the yard, it’s a reminder of the goodness of each season and of just how much the little things, simple and fleeting as they may seem, can truly mark and ground our lives. (Do you think we would appreciate juicy summer tomatoes the same way if every day was hot and tomato season was year round? I doubt it.)
When we get a sudden, strong, mid-afternoon summer storm, I sigh happily knowing that nature is doing its watering (even if it means we have to get creative with our rainy day plans). There’s a bigger life cycle at work that we’re tapping into. There’s something to be said for living with these seasonal rhythms that remind us, a time for everything and everything in its time.
This year, the four kids each had the chance to be responsible for designing and tending to one of the garden beds as we built. They enjoyed every aspect from moving soil, picking out seedlings from a local organic farm, and planting their selection of herbs, veggies and flowers. It was a process that kept us happily busy for long spring days, and now they burst with pride when picking veggies for dinner or showing yard guests the growth of their gardens.
Keeping it simple
All these plants really need are good soil, sun, and plentiful water—sometimes rain, sometimes overzealous hose soaks from the kids, or a gentle sprinkler mist, mid-day, that helps punctuate our routines and outdoor time.
The garden welcomes whatever attention it gets, and these plants are hard-wired to thrive. The other day my daughter was having a tough moment and I told her that plants grow and do well when we sing to them. Now I’ll see her pausing in the middle of her play to sing a short song to them (or catch the dragon fly that always linger there) before she goes back to her games.
It’s easy to over-complicate gardening, like anything in life. Or to focus on the results (I have a zucchini plant that is HUGE, but not producing fruit! Puzzling, but I’m going with it). Keeping our expectations for the garden project low has meant that we welcome and relish all the harvest we get, and we stay curious/learn from mishaps or things that don’t turn out as planned.
Creating Space
Turns out–we learned from our beginners’ eagerness the first year, you can definitely over-crowd a garden space, causing nothing to grow very well because each plant is competing for the key ingredients to a good life: sun, water, and soil nutrients.
When I’m pruning my tomato plants, cutting back the stems and growth that, while pretty, will keep the plant from flourishing and producing fruit, I’m struck by the metaphor for our lives. I’ve distilled this metaphor/life lesson into a phrase that’s become a guiding principle of my life (and of my signature life design course): “create space”. In order for the good stuff to flourish (and even before we may fully see it coming to fruit), we have to diligently prune and make room in our lives so that the good fruit can make itself known.
Cultivating patience
As anyone who knows me well can attest, patience is not my strong suit.
Sometimes my impatience leads to gardening catastrophe. Last year I had a great bunch of seeds germinating in my laundry room in trays, and I transplanted them just a wee bit too soon, before it was warm enough…they didn’t make it.
Fortunately, I also have kids who help me grow in this virtue. Tending to little ones (plants or humans) requires ample amounts of patience. Like when I’m teaching my toddler to enjoy watching (not tugging or touching) the green tomatoes, growing in size in June and July, and reminding him to wait until they are perfectly red (or purple) before we pick.
How much more we appreciate and savor the long awaited veggie when it’s finally ripe and ready for the sauce-pan or the salad bowl. And how much more our patience reminds us of the value of what we’re anticipating.
Accepting the times of hidden growth, and of times of blossoming
This year, in our new space, I’ve been marveling at watching the growth up close, and with plot twists. With late frosts and a beach trip, we planted everything pretty late, and the first few weeks it felt like we might never see growth. Between little seedlings trying to survive the elements, some pebbles lovingly thrown at them, sporadic watering, and a child’s attempt to “weed” them, our plantings just couldn’t catch a break. And since this was a new garden plot we didn’t know if it would be the winning combo of sun, shade and distance from roving animals.
But we kept doing all the steps, and trusting the process, more instinctively now, without knowing what kind of a bounty we would get.
Sure enough, after weeks of what felt like incremental growth came a week of heavy daily rains and an explosion of blooms, blossoms, fruits, and veggies just appearing, literally from day to day, before our eyes.
Nothing can prepare you for that sudden shift from nothing to something, from barrenness to fruit, from hopefulness to gratitude. But like everything in life, we have to accept that there are patient, long, dry periods, followed by the beautiful blossoms, fruits of prayer and work and living, that make it all worthwhile, and cause us to marvel: “how could all this bounty have come from such a tiny (hopeful) starting point?”
In the garden, as in life, it feels like a miracle, every time. We simply have to trust and stay present to the process as it unfolds.
Garden rhythms, a slower life
I’m someone that thrives on rituals or daily rhythms. Loose enough (room for adjustments and spontaneity), but structured nonetheless. Moms’ lives can feel a bit chaotic at times, so I look for predictable elements that I can plug into and offer as guideposts to the kids, especially on these long summer days.
Midday naps, morning work and chores, then afternoon simple outings, and predictable morning routines all work for me. Mornings are my best chance to fit in my necessary quiet, recharging moments like an early morning run or walk in nature—sneaking away to be alone with my thoughts.
The rituals of tending to a garden (water, weed, harvest), which I at first saw as yet another thing on the to-do list, has become embedded in how we do summer. When I turn on the hose for a midday garden watering, it often turns into sprinklers and water play. When I take the few minutes needed to weed a bit or harvest, I savor the long evening rays of the sun hitting the garden and their nearby swing, the kids play around me, or I help them harvest without destroying the plants in the process. The pre-dinner ritual is to plan our meal based on what’s ripe and ready to be eaten…and to grab the herbs, veggies and anything else we need to craft our meals.
We live a moment of gratitude for this gift of food growing right here, for our enjoyment.
It’s good to feel connected to the process and helpful to the growth of a garden, but not fully responsible. Like the “soul gardening” I’m doing with my littles.
I can’t imagine summer without these garden rhythms, and I pray that the slower pace of life, and the new rhythms we’ve welcomed (often reluctantly) in 2020, sink deeply into all of us, helping pull us out of our modern busyness & hustle, and reminding us of just how much goodness and beauty lies in timeless rituals of cultivation, care-taking and living in tune with nature.
I realize this post may be unintentionally controversial, and I’m not here to have a discussion about modesty & whether bikinis should be worn.
The fact of the matter is, occasionally, I wear them. Sometimes I don’t when I know I’ll be super active or prefer to have more coverage.
Many moms just tell themselves that after they have kids, that’s it…they will never be the “same”.
Well, that’s true. You’re forever changed…for the better. Your heart changes in all the best ways, and while yes, pregnancy & birth can leave their marks on our bodies, I believe that these are things that we should acknowledge, share, and celebrate.
I could easily run down the list…the belly button will never be quite the same as it was before being stretched & expanded to a breaking point 4 times…stretch marks are a reality for many, varicose veins for some, and the list of undesirable goes on…
But, at some point along the way, I realized that my kids deserve for me to:
a) Work hard to be at my best, for them. To not use anything as an excuse for taking care of myself, nutrition, exercise, rest, general self-care, and almost the most important, mental health habits that allow me to be a positive, present, (mostly) calm momma.
b) Be an example for them of joy, energy, health, loving the gifts of their life, including the body they have to care for. I witness this self-acceptance (especially important for my girls), and face my own demons, in working towards this everyday, gently & with intention.
Mommas, our bodies have done incredible things in creating, birthing, feeding and raising these humans. Let’s celebrate them, and build each other up as well (it makes me so sad to see moms sitting around telling each other about all their body & life complaints & then validating for each other that it’s ok to do nothing about it, and to stay frustrated & unhappy).
The 2 main tools I use in postpartum (well, starting in pregnancy) for my core strength, and fighting gravity and the “mummy tummy” is to rely on the Every Mother workout programs…for a strong core in pregnancy, which is key for birth and early recovery. They have an amazing early reclaim program that offers safe simple exercises (via an app) starting a week after birth–and then you can transition to their standard “reclaim” program at 6 weeks PP. The second tool I use (besides my full postpartum nutrition regimen, see here)…is the 7 day healthy cleanse, always after about 6 months PP. Here’s an example of how this helps me (in conjunction with the exercises) to fight bloating and unnecessary extra weight around the middle…resetting metabolism, digestion, and more in the months following baby.
This is safe to do in postpartum, with modifications.
These 2 tools, and the PP stretching series I created (below) have helped countless other mothers I know, and truly, it’s not just about looking good in a cute suit (though that’s important too). It’s about avoiding back pain, core weakness, tendencies to hernias, pelvic floor weakness, and so much more that comes with the territory (if we aren’t actively working on fitness & strength during childbearing seasons).
A mindset shift I like to make in pregnancy & postpartum is not bemoaning the inevitable changes to our bodies (which are many)…but in focusing in on what we CAN do…celebrating and being grateful for all that our bodies are doing to care for, support, grow, nurture these little perfect humans, as well as what we’re able to do for ourselves, our communities…it’s a simple but crucial shift. If you need to, start an affirmations list that includes the things that you’re grateful you can do–run after your kids in the yard,
I used to be a fitness junkie…I did HIIT almost every day after my 2nd chid…but with a less than strong core, it wasn’t entirely what my body needed. Mindul movement and gentle approaches to fitness and health in pregnancy & postpartum will serve us best in the long run. Of course, each person has a different starting point, and it’s good to celebrate the fact that our bodies are designed to recover well & be even stronger than before, with the right tools & support.
To all the mommas out there who are wondering whether they should show off the ways in which their children have changed them, my answer is YES. You are more beautiful than you may ever know. Look into their eyes and you’ll see the answer there…you’re their everything, and deserve to feel that way no matter what.
If you’re curious to try the Every Mother program, it’s literally never to late (or early) to heal or prevent diasistis recti & all the conditions that come with it.
If you want to check out the 7 day healthy cleanse, you can order your kit here, and email me hello@maddypidel.com to get your guide, meal plan, healthy modifications, and all the tools you need to get started.
You’re truly incredible momma, and you deserve to feel & look amazing!Vibrancy starts with the inside out, and that special glow & spark you bring to everything you do!
xx
maddy
PS, email me hello@maddypidel.com to learn about my new INSPIRED MOTHERHOOD coaching offerings, to help you live your motherhood, inspired.
