By Claire Wilson, artist, runner, lover of nature.
We often hear about the importance of the exercise for the benefit of mental health and overwhelming data and research proves this to be true—physical activity is essential in maintaining a healthy mental outlook. There is a second component to mental health that has been steadily growing in popularity in past decade and that is mindfulness (I think it can also be considered meditation or prayer depending on your religious background). Not surprisingly in our hectic world, people are looking for ways to slow down, to take time to create space in their heads, to breathe, to just be. People are finding this in a myriad of different ways, meditation, yoga, intense physical activity, being outside etc. Mine came in the form of a marathon and a rosary.
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety my freshman year of college and ran the gamut of antidepressants for three years. After dropping out of school and finding myself in a zombie like state working at a coffee shop I decided something had to change, the conventional way was not working for me. I was looking into a future of being a slave to a pill that at best put me in a state of no emotion and at worst actually made my symptoms worse. Growing up with a mother whose philosophy towards health and well being was using conventional medicine as a last resort helped motivated me to start looking at more natural alternatives and start my journey to finding the root cause of my depression and anxiety (I just want to put a disclaimer here, I am by no means judging anyone on antidepressants, they have their place and your treatment is between you and your doctor. I would encourage you to look into alternatives though). That is when I got the insane idea to run a marathon, insane because at the time I had just enough will power in a day to crawl from underneath my covers, work my seven hour shift, and crawl back under my blankets. That’s not exactly conducive for doing the 10 to 15 mile training runs needed for a successful race. To this day I am not exactly sure why I chose to start with exercise and particularly running something as extreme as a marathon. Part of me needed to reach for something so huge, so seemingly beyond my capability that it really was a race against myself, to prove to myself that if I can run a marathon than I can take this far more challenging and difficult race of getting well,
By the grace of God a little over a year later I ran my marathon! It truly was by the grace of God because there was a time in my training that I was going to quit, it was too hard for me. That is when I brought in the spiritual and, being a Catholic, that came in the form of the rosary (sometimes 5 or 6 of them if the run was very long!). By meditating while exercising I was able to create a space of peace in my head beyond the physical discomforts I was feeling. it was a space that i could think, something I was struggling to do because of my fears and anxieties. It was a space where I could go beyond my mental illness and start to feel human again because I was mastering discipline with my body and making it do something amazing. A space where I could offer up my current discomforts for someone going through a difficult time. It brought these two elements, the physical and the spiritual, into a relationship with each other working towards the goal of total health!
Fast forward nearly ten years later, my journey, while definitely a bit of a roller coaster, finds me in a much better place thanks to the lesson of combining the physical with the spiritual. I am able to see difficulties in my life as opportunities to grow or to sacrifice for others. I can be fully present with family and friends and enjoy quiet time alone without let depression and anxiety consume me. And for the times when things are difficult (because let’s face it even the happiest and healthiest of us have bad day or even weeks, it is part of the human condition) I turn to the lessons I learned in therapy, I review how my diet has been, I lean more into my supplements and vitamins and I turn to the moments of movement and mindfulness, of prayer and breathing.
Whatever form your mindfulness takes, do it with great intention and combine it with some form of physical activity. Go for a hike and meditate or pray at the the summit. Hit your crossfit session hard and think about someone you know who is suffering and dedicate it to that person. Do some form of stretching, strengthening and/or breathing exercises and really concentrate on calming your mind. I wish you all the best in your journey to optimal mental health!
Claire Wilson an artist, outdoor enthusiast and promoter of mental health living in the beautiful Pacific Northwest! She hopes to help others see the importance of whole body (spiritual, mental and physical) health and how it can help one live their best life! You can find her on instagram at @onefingeroutofwater
Imagine you are waking on the last day of 2019. What would you like to tell yourself about 2019? What are you proud of yourself? And why? To achieve those goals what are things that you let go of?
Those are the basic questions that I ask my client when they ask me to help them set a goal for the year.
Are you ready to commit to 2019?
When I became a life coach, I learned lots of tips and strategies related to setting up goals, overcoming hurdles, and setting the right mindset that can support them in their personal and professional life. Those are great, so life can be so much easier and fuller. But as you can imagine, I learned the hard way it’s not enough with those tips and strategies to make your better life a reality. In order to be successful in your goals, you need to have a clear goal, right mindset, consistent action and to measure your effectiveness. And making sure your daily actions are aligned with your goal is the golden key for your success.
Every new year, many people set up great goals and are full of energy. I love this sensation and it’s very hopeful. And what happens after few months? Where do the energy and desires go? When we notice that our attempts at new things are challenging, then we often default to our normal routine and wait for another new year, expecting something different is going to happen.
In this article, I’d like to share some tips that keep you focused on habit building rather than just writing goals. When you build up daily actions towards a goal then you just might change your life.
I’ve been committed to my healthy lifestyle for a long time. Such as eating locally grown food, consuming less red meat, home cooking, walking if I can, riding a bicycle, and so on. But after I had two children, my health went downhill without me noticing. Eventually I wasn’t enjoying all the great things my little ones brought into my life. Finally, I woke up and decided to have a healthy lifestyle focused on exercise. I made a goal that I would do a push-up every day at least one a day, after I read a book ‘The power of habit’. It was very easy in the beginning and one month was not a problem. I increased more exercises as time went by. At one point, I decided to run 5K, 2 – 3 times a week. For 2 to 3 months was worked well. But then my knee started hurting, it impacted my daily life and I stopped exercising. I wanted to keep my exercise up but at the same time there was roadblock that made my momentum stop. I needed to navigate my deeper beliefs around health, and look at new habits.
After consideration, I realized my beliefs around exercise were “I am healthy, I walk a lot, so I don’t need to work out”. In fact, all those stories were not serving my health anymore. I reset myself with 4 phrases: “let go,” “let be,” “let it come,” and “let God.”
I let go of my old ideas that no longer support me, let be with my willingness to try and to accept that I don’t know that much about physical training, let it come with new method such as use Classpass to try new classes, find what I can commit to for long time and tell myself playful words even when I was discouraged, to keep at it, and let God– remembering the divine wants me to be healthy and happy.
Now I am committed to exercise 5 days a week. When I decided to commit to 5 days a week exercise, I doubted whether I could keep it. But I realized it is much easier (for me) than to do exercise once or twice a week. I don’t need to negotiate anymore with myself because it’s part of my routine. I can say my action became a habit, it feels so natural.
I’d like to share my habit building process. When you want to build a habit, in order to be successful, make sure that you give enough time, be generous to yourself and do one habit at a time. Understand that some will take shorter, some will take longer, to really master.
Habit building process
Choose one habit that you want to build.
● Recognize why do you need this habit or not.
● What does life like for you have that habit in daily life? (describe with as much detail as possible)
● Envision who you become when you have that habit?
● How do you feel when you have the habit?
Now, what step will you take to build the habit?
● How? By when? How do you know when you achieve it? (write in a journal about what did you do and how do you feel about it)
● When you miss a day or two, what would you like to tell yourself in order to back on the habit?
● How do you celebrate it?
To implement goals and habits you’ll need to rely on tools such as calendars & planners, alarms, self-discipline app (Such as Goal attracter, Weekdone, 7-minute workout, Sleep Cycle, Simple Habit, Tide, Classpass) and your social network/accountability from friends.
I hope you are newly inspired to have great goals and new habits for a great 2019. Every lifestyle and stage of life are unique. Most of all, you are the one who can create your best life. Allow yourself to be you. Remember that will invite more people and achievement in your life. I think positive habits is what makes you and your family grow. Feel safe to share your challenges with your family and friends, choose your diet to make you healthy and energized all day, your commitment to work that is meaningful. There are lots of positive habits that you can build by defining what is most important in your life + reflection (collect data about your actions) + implement in your daily life. My email signature is always followed by Love & Flow. I wish your life full of love and flow. Hope you can find great value in this article and I would love to hear your experience. Sending lots of love ~~~
Recommend books to read:
Martha Lasley. Courageous Visions – How to unleash passionate energy in your life and your organization.
Damon Zahariades. The 30-Day Productivity Plan – Volume 2: 30 more bad habits that are sabotaging your time management.
Charles Duhigg. The power of habit
ABOUT SALLEY LEE CHUNG, Life coach & momma
Salley is an adventurer, motivator, and innovative thinker. As certified professional coach and member of ICF, she supports students, professionals, and executives who are interested in navigating a multicultural world. She specializes in working with bicultural clients to improve work-life balance, develop cultural sensitivity, and grow their leadership. Her holistic approach helps clients to flow and take action that reflects their power, creativity and authenticity. She coaches in both Korean and English. She resides in Brooklyn with her husband and two little boys. Linkedin: Salley Lee
Welcome to our first guest post of the coming months! So grateful to my lifelong friend Monica for taking time out of her busy life with 4 littles to share this amazing recipe, and some beautiful reflections that all us moms can take to heart.
Congratulations on the entire Pidel family on the beautiful new addition to the family! There is nothing more beautiful than a loving family. I know your newest little angel is going to be so well taken care of by all his siblings!
When I added my fourth child to our tribe this past spring, I received an inspiring piece of advice that, while simple in declaration, has proven to be rather challenging in execution. A nurse at the hospital who was tending to me post-delivery, advised me to be sure to give each one of my children 20 minutes a day of my undivided attention. We could do anything we want during those twenty minutes as long as the focus is entirely on them so that they feel cherished and special. Thinking that was a wonderful idea, I have made that a priority over the past months and at first it seemed an easy enough task to fulfill each day. But then, the days grew shorter, the school year started up again, our schedules became quite hectic, and the baby started becoming more mobile and less content to sit in a bouncy chair or play pen while I tended to his siblings.
I began to notice that my eldest received his 20 minutes of attention fairly easily – he simply demanded it. He never stops talking and will not be silent until he finishes telling me what is on his mind, as well as ever juicy piece of gossip he learned at school that day. He also requires a bit of help with homework on a daily basis, so I always devote some amount of personal time to him in that regard.
My third child, Lucia, is home with me still during the day and I am able to find precious moments here and there to play a game with her, do a craft, or read a book. Lately, she has been enjoying schooling me in Candy Land and I have no idea how she does it because I’m almost completely certain that game is entirely based on luck. But, regardless, she makes it to the magical, sugary Promised Land before me every single time. She easily gets in her 20 minutes of attention.
And baby Daniel, please…he is practically an extra appendage, always hanging off of me similar to a baby orangutan at the zoo. He gets lots of mommy time.
Then there is my second child, Emma. The child who is the most independent, the most dependable, and the most capable of getting all her work done without much fuss or reminding. Emma is very good about entertaining herself, often disappearing to our basement after school to make paper flowers, crowns, or other little creations in solitude. I love her independence, but an unfortunate result of that is she is often the one who gets skipped having special time with me each day.
So, I began inviting Emma to sit at the counter and draw, read, and chat as I make dinner each night. She has never been very enthusiastic about helping me in the kitchen, both Matthew and Lucy are much more willing to lend a hand with cooking, but she has jumped at the opportunity to just be with me as I cook away each and every evening. She is a funny little thing and I so enjoy listening to her perspective on the world – it certainly beats any podcast I would otherwise be tuning into! And she just visibly brightens after having some attention from me and goes to bed at night happier and content. Even though she does not ask for or demand my attention, I have to ensure that I do not skip making some time for her – and all of my children. Even if the dishes are dirty and the laundry is piled high, nothing is more important than being a mother to these precious little ones. I can have a spotless home later in life, but my children are little right now and right now they just want me to be with them.
On that sentimental note, I wish to share with you a recipe for a nourishing, rich, and filling soup, one that soothes the soul while feeding the body. Not everyone loves mushroom, but I have found that even mushroom skeptics – like my husband – think this soup to be delectable. It’s creamy, delicately flavored, and filling while not weighing you down too much. I love the rich mushroom flavor in the broth, the heartiness from the wild rice and the bright finish from the lemon zest. It’s a perfect winter soup, simple enough for weeknight meals but not quite too humble to serve for guests.
Wild Rice and Mushroom Soup
adapted slightly from America’s Test Kitchen
¼ ounce dried shiitake mushrooms, rinsed
4 ¼ cups water
1 sprig fresh thyme
1 bay leaf
1 garlic clove, peeled, plus 4 cloves, minced
Salt and pepper
¼ teaspoons baking soda
1 cup wild rice
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 pound cremini mushrooms, trimmed and sliced ¼ inch thick
1 onion, chopped fine
1 teaspoon tomato paste
2/3 cup dry sherry
4 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 tablespoon soy sauce
¼ cup cornstarch
½ cup heavy cream
¼ cup minced chives
¼ teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
Chopped fresh parsley, for serving (optional)
Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 375 degrees. Grind shiitake mushrooms in spice grinder or using a mortar and pestle until finely ground – you should have about 3 tablespoons.
Bring 4 cups of water, thyme, bay leaf, garlic clove, ¾ teaspoon salt, and baking soda to boil in medium saucepan over high heat. Add rice and return to boil. Cover saucepan, transfer to oven, and bake until rice is tender, 35 to 50 minutes. Strain rice through fine-mesh strainer set in 4-cup liquid measuring cup; discard thyme, bay leaf, and garlic. Add enough water to reserved cooking liquid to measure 3 cups.
Melt butter in Dutch oven over high heat. Add cremini mushrooms, onion, minced garlic, tomato paste, ¾ teaspoon salt, and 1 teaspoon pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are browned and dark fond develops on bottom of pot, 15 minutes. Add sherry, scraping up any browned bits, and cook until reduced and pot is almost dry, about 2 minutes. Add ground shiitake mushrooms, reserved rice cooking liquid, broth and soy sauce and bring to boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, covered, until onion and mushrooms are tender, about 20 minutes.
Whisk cornstarch and remaining ¼ cup water in small bowl. Stir cornstarch slurry into soup, return to simmer, and cook until thickened, about 2 minutes. Remove pot from heat and stir in cooked rice, cream, chives, and lemon zest. Cover and let stand for 20 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste, sprinkle with the chopped fresh parsley, and serve!
More about Monica of A Beautiful Mess
Monica is the cook, baker, and primary administrator of the blog A Beautiful Mess. She initially began the blog at the urging of her husband and sister-in-law as a way to share photographs, stories, and recipes with our families. An avid lover of bread in any form, Monica has had to demonstrate major restraint to not post only carbohydrate-centered recipes. She has successfully convinced her husband that a salad can be a sufficient main dish and vegetables are his friends. When she is not blogging or cooking, Monica enjoys chasing after her kiddos, running, pilates, drinking copious amounts of coffee, scrapbooking, and relaxing with a good book while listening to a selection from her collection of vintage vinyl records. However, her absolute favorite pastime is probably poking fun at her husband.
Perhaps you’ve heard of this concept of vision boards and it’s sounded cheesy and weird to you—like something for a high-school sleepover party (young girls picking out their dream weddings), or more recently, just an offshoot of a pinterest driven lifestyle.
But it can be so much more than that. It’s not just a visual wish list of home decor items, or a gallery wall of photos, but rather a visual map to your best life, usually one year at a time.
I’ve had so many folks ask me about these, and I wanted to share more of an in-depth look into what I do to create mine each January, as well as some of the overarching framework for approaching goals/plans and dreams for each coming year.
I know this practice of vision boarding has literally changed my life since I put it into practice 5 years ago. For some of you, this may be the year this practice catches your interest and you run with it to your best life.
We’re also doing a module/focus on it in my Life By Design course—be sure to get on my email list (up top) if you want some of the fun content and details I’ll be sharing about that in the coming weeks (yep, it’s already been prepped, before babe). Ideally this vision board practice is part of that larger 5 week lifestyle transformation that we’re undertaking, in a fun and easy to implement program that’s for anyone, in any walk of life!
If you’re someone that doesn’t like traditional goal setting, has already forgotten what your New Year’s resolutions were, or, if you were like me, and are very driven/connected to goals but sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture of WHY they really matter (so checking them off is not as satisfying), creating a vision board is the habit you need. It’s about leaning into a bigger picture perspective of how your life is ready to expand, to transform, to be different.
We all know life will be different in 365 days, but a vision board can be the key to having a strong hand in shaping and creating that difference, and not just letting it happen to us.
I love this quote. It’s been on my vision board for the past 4 years, and it helps me frame what we’re about.
My First Time Vision Boarding I Was Afraid
The first time I did a vision board it was tough and somewhat scary to really try to fix on what I wanted. What visuals, materials or pictures represent my life? (But that exercise is exactly where the magic begins.)
And of course, there’s the objection I got (and continue to get) from folks: “well, what about what if I don’t know what GOD has planned for me, aren’t these just my selfish desires being put out there, and how can I know if I’m actually supposed to be wanting this stuff?”
Well, I have lots to say on that topic, but I’ll try to just pose this question: what if you can make the process of developing a vision board a prayerful exercise?
Vision Boarding as an Expression of Hope
You can discuss things with your life partner/spouse, make plans based on where you see your family and life going, and with prayer, put it out there in the form of a vision board. We know God is ultimately in control, but you entrust your hopes and dreams into His care with the knowledge that He wants to make good things happen for, through, and with you. If life plans do a big shift—through a job change, or an unexpected move, a child coming, or anything else planned or un-planned—then you adjust. The vision board isn’t going to be “wrong” at any moment, it might just need to be updated as life unfolds and you continue to hone the muscles of discernment along with life-design.
I find that so many folks are just not intentional enough, or don’t believe enough that their own vision, desires, needs and goals CAN and SHOULD shape their real life, so I like to encourage you to take this seriously, and then simply perfect it with your overall goal setting/discernment as you go. My family vision boards are very different than when we first started making them…they are much more specific and focused on our core values, because that’s where we can do the best work and where we’ve seen fulfillment over the years.
These boards are not just a list of things you want to purchase or a home design pinterest board, they can be a record of the way your desires and values shift and change as you get to know yourself and your God-given purpose better with every passing year.
See, the more specific we get with letting our heart and desires shape reality, the more God actually can work, and move things for us.
I love the following quote, and I think we can understand the sense of divine intervention/support for our deepest desires—they are in alignment.
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
So, I’m going to now share a few vision boards we’ve made over the years, and some details on how I like to set ours up now-a-days, in line with our circles of focus: such as social, spiritual, success/skills, etc.But there’s really no right or wrong way to do these—as long as you have fun with them (ideally do them with good friends and a glass of wine or champagne, we’ve done vision board brunches before, so fun)…just have at it, and see what unfolds in the process!
My 2016 vision board: I had some travel, business and other goals come to pass (and we set up for a job change and prepping for our big move!)–also, I have images on here of being pregnant with a boy…baby boy shoes…and a month after making this I conceived Ambrose, he was born that October 😉My 2015 visison board: I seriously get chills when I look at this: travel to Europe, business expansion, the kind of new family car we upgraded to, the giving back focus, and upon some key themes and words that I needed to embrace (including from scripture).
Topics for our vision board this year: grouped into these 6 main categories:
Family
Travel
Business growth/focus (this could also be a hobby or passion project)
Giving back/philanthropy
Personal growth/Inspiration (spiritual, emotional, mental)
Fitness
Of course I have intentions/focus in a few other areas; Spiritual etc, but the visuals for those can be grouped within these, above, as you can see.
If you have a word for the year, or words, or themes you want to emphasize, those go well on this board as well. You can see my 3 words, with visuals surrounding them–Intention, Integration, Impact. For me, words are another powerful trigger, so I find ones that will really pull me into the feelings behind the goals/vision, in each section, and quotes are huge for me too.
I love getting the kids involved in this process and they make their own; it’s fun to help them shape their sense that they can put dreams, visions and goals onto paper, and then focus in to make them a reality. Something we’ve all had the ability to do, but often lose as “practical minded” adults. Make it a social activity! This was a vision board brunch event we did a few years back with teammates and friends.
In summary, this practice is something that I laughed at at first, finally tried with the encouragement of some wise mentors, and then got hooked on, and have gotten better at (more specific, building around a family vision and focus) over the years.
It’s incredible to me how the visions of what life could be like several years ago back when we lived in an apartment in Brooklyn, have become our reality. I had country sheds and gardens and all these things that seemed totally incongruent with that current lifestyle.
Last year, it was hard to make a vision board with anything that was a stretch beyond what I currently had, and I was cultivating/focused on contentment.
There’s always a balance to be found: some people can be tempted to live in the future and only focused on what they want that’s coming/hasn’t arrived yet. This practice isn’t meant to encourage that spirit. Rather it’s about creating space, giving sight and vision to allow MORE good to come, to allow ourselves to be pulled out of our comfort zones, and to become more of who we are meant to be (which after all, is what this is all about—not just what we have, where we travel, or any of the material stuff). It starts with a deep gratitude for where your life is at, and perhaps even some visuals/prompts around that, if you need it.
Have fun creating your 2019 vision boards! I hope you’ll share with me whether this article inspired you to give it a try, and even share with me by email a pic of your vision board when it’s finished!
8.5 years ago, when prepping for my first postpartum (and maternity leave from work)…I had not a clue what life would be like, and I also didn’t feel like many of the mothering resources or moms I knew really got into details after the pregnancy and birth. Except for the idea that you won’t sleep as much, I didn’t have any insight into what recovering from birth would be like. I thought it would be like my best ever 8 week vacation, with a cute babe snuggling in my arms…
I remember distinctly after my first was born, about the blurry 2 week mark, when a dear relative gave me the best gift a postpartum mom might ask for…she brought a huge basket of food (already prepared snacks/etc), and held my fussy baby, while sending me down the street (we lived in Brooklyn) to a deep tissue massage. With everything physically and mentally feeling upside down, even just stepping out into the September air, by myself, and having that healing treatment before rushing home to my babe, was such a gift.
And, being a go-getter and priding myself on bouncing back fast (and having relatively easy recoveries, in my 20’s as I like to say;)—I went back to work after my two girls (part-time) at 8 weeks (and 7 weeks), took a several week road trip when Corinne was 3 weeks old (ok, it was to my moms and MIL, and then a work conf). No regrets, just not the smartest for my overall well being;) And with Ambrose, even though I needed to give myself more recovery time after an intense labor, I was running around town as if life was normal after 5 days…but really, it wasn’t, and I realized the hard way, just how much rest and true recovery time is needed after baby. It’s not selfish, lazy, or anything other than wise to rest for 2 full weeks postpartum (doing very little) or more, depending on the kind of birth you had, and there’s something especially important about the first 40 days, or the 6 week mark, that needs to be honored and given to moms and babies. I read this book: The First 40 days: the Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother
while postpartum with Ambrose, and it changed my perspective on postpartum entirely. Obviously, nerding out on the incredible nutrition and recipes related to just what the mother’s body needs to heal, but also how, culturally, we’ve lost a sense of what a sacred and important time this really is for a mother. So….I’m aiming to do things quite differently this time, and while I won’t drop offline or do absolutely nothing for 40 days, I will be treasuring the ability to create a cocoon of care, quiet, warmth, nourishment, and support during those weeks, which conveniently coincide with a cold CT winter…hibernation and babies just might be the thing that works for someone like me (my first 2 were summer girlies, and I struggled to stay home and quiet during that amazing season!).
There’s a lot at stake here for mothers, notably, a large rise in PPD and PPA in recent years, which can be connected to so many things, but especially can be quickly triggered (even with all the hormone and other things that are in flux) by a lack of proper rest, care for mom as well as babe, and giving her permission to get off the fast track life, or for others, perhaps isolation with baby, being alone too much during those first weeks can augment it. It’s a delicate balance of people being able to help, but in the ways that she needs, and not having to play hostess and simply show off the babe in rotation, without thought for her. In any regard, these recipes are focused in on the essential nourishment of mom–body, mind and spirit–and therefore babe…and I enjoyed creating a few of them from my experience/what I already know I usually crave after babies, and a few are straight from the postpartum cookbook, which you’re going to want to get for all the new moms in your life, as a tremendous gift. We’ll take back the culture around a truly restful postpartum experience, and help moms everywhere thrive, with their babies right there with them.
For me, I know I’ll want to keep my head in the game a bit, and that’s the beauty of this work/business that we’ve been able to create…but you’ll see more guest blog posts here, which is super exciting, prepare for some great ones! Postpartum is a terrific moment to just be willing to ask for help, and for some of us, that can be harder than others…but it’s always beautiful to see the response from our community (and create one intentionally, that will support you putting baby and momma needs first).
If you are on maternity leave and feeling that pressure that real life will come rushing at you all too quickly, I get it (been there)—definitely savor these weeks and fight off pressure to do anything except the stuff that matters for yourself and babe.
This book when I discovered it in my postpartum with Ambrose (it had just come out)–spoke directly to my wearied heart—moms in all cultures and times have been given a sacred space and time and had rituals surrounding postpartum rest–often with family members coming and living with them, daily massages with oils, not being allowed to entertain/host “guests” etc…but to simply rest…and this current culture of idolizing the “bounce back”–whatever that means–is perverse and not helpful for women or their babies, from what I’ve seen, especially with working with many women from a health coach perspective in their postpartum stages. Her perspective is unique and valuable, as a high-powered career focused woman in LA who expected popping out babies is just a blip in the radar, who yet as 2nd generation chinese American, had a tie to the past cultural norms and support that we now have no concept of, and it led her to start the company called Motherbees to precisely address this need she perfectly expresses in this book, and which resonates so much with me and those I share it with.
You will want to grab this (it’s linked above through amazon) to send to any new moms in your life, just about to enter this stage, or even better, grab it and prep some of the meals for the new moms in your life–and bring them over with some of the awareness of what moms need from their “guests” that the book addresses–like the willingness to clean her sink or hold the babe while she naps, while you’re there.
Postpartum bars for energy and hormone balancing
These ingredients were languishing in my pantry so I mixed this up for complete hormone balancing via yummy snacking–if you’ve never heard of seed cycling, it’s a fascinating and natural approach to balancing hormones and cycles with various types of seeds, and this recipes uses all of those super-seeds.
Ingredients:
1/2 cup coconut oil
2/3 cup almond or peanut butter
1/2 c maple syrup
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup sunflower seeds
1 cup flax seeds
1 cup pepitas
1/2 cup sesame seeds
1 1/2 cup organic coconut flakes (unsweetened)
1/4 cup organic chia seeds
1/4 cup organic maca powder
Directions:
Melt coconut oil, almond butter, maple syrup, and vanilla together in a medium saucepan on med-low heat, until fully combined.
Mix dry ingredients together in a large bowl, then pour in and mix in the saucepan ingredients in slowly, stirring well to fully combine, using a spatula, scoop it into a 9×13 pan with freezer paper or parchment paper lining it, and then pop it into the freezer for min of an hour. I love how they taste cold and right out of the freezer, so you can store them there for a month. Or you can also keep at room temp. They are super tasting and pack an amazing hormone balancing and energizing (maca powder) punch.
My goto for preventing PPD (along the topic of hormone balancing) is this fantastic GLA complex that I start taking in 3rd trimester daily, and it really seems to do o the trick for warding off PPD tendencies in the first weeks following birth. There’s now so much more research and focus being put into natural methods that can help moms–this article shares some encouraging ideas, and I hope that these ideas of prepping and eating well, as well as all the holistic care for postpartum focused on of the art of nourishing in the new mother in the book mentioned above will give support to anyone who’s looking to navigate that season with support and good resources.
Here’s apeek into my postpartumfreezer–some of my go-to soups, snacks and more.
Last week I got busy making some soups that I knew I’d want to have at the ready when baby is here. In the First Forty days book, she goes into detail on why it’s important to start with soups for momma, no matter what the season—slowed digestion after birth, and needing to replenish vital nutrients quickly and easily are some of the main reasons. I’m a soup fanatic anyway, and this winter baby/hibernation agrees with what I’m naturally craving, so it works out. I did 2 bone broth based soups, and 2 vegetarian ones. There’s a good reason why it’s great to focus on bone broth for replacing essential amino acids and healing/supporting the mother’s gut while nourishing her back to strength…a classic healing tool, but it will be best combined with other warming spices that increase her circulation, and vitality, even as she continues to release blood after birth. I didn’t include this Weston Price recipe for a postpartum soup in my freezer, but if you can stomach pigs feet, it’s a good concept 😉
Soups
*Split Pea Soup (made in my crock-pot from my new year’s ham bone, and a whole foods split pea soup mix–super easy, and I added onion and garlic)
*Chicken, Red dates and ginger soup (from the first 40 days cookbook)
*Stock some containers of homemade bone broth as well–I use organic rotisserie chickens, as this saves me a step. You can drink this straight, or have your support folks whip up easy soups for you.
Vegetarian postpartum healing stock/soup *5 celery stocks, chopped *5 carrots, chopped *1 head cauliflower, cut, and roasted for 20 min at 425 with EVOO/salt/pepper *9 cups water *3-5 cups of spinach *Garlic–1-2 cloves *Salt, pepper
Cook celery, carrots and water together, simmering an hour until soft. Roast cauliflower (I prefer that flavor), and then dump into the pot as well. After 2 hours, toss in spinach to cook for the final stretch (15 min or so is fine), then let the soup cool. When cooled, pour it into vitamix in batches to blend into a puree. Then put into mason jars and freeze!
Other Freezer foods
Chicken pot pie—this is a cross-over of something I know I’ll crave in postpartum (I loved it after Emma), but will also feed the family in a pinch. Use any recipe (I don’t even follow one exactly at this point, it’s so 2nd nature to me–sorry!), I just recommend making your own broth, as that’s the key nourishing element, along with the veggies and chicken.
Quiche–with ham and brussel sprouts. Another super easy-to-freeze meal that’s hearty, will check off many of the boxes of what moms need postpartum (protein! veggies!) but also will satisfy other tastes in the house. Yum! Again, make whatever your go-to quiche recipe is, and be picky about the crust–either make your own or get an organic/whole wheat one if that matters to you.
Voila Also, decaf & organic local coffee (see if you can avoid caffeine as a new mom, it can affect baby’s sleeping cycles, your own, as well as contribute to adrenal fatigue which I totally have had to face in postpartum, not fun) And a GF waffle option which are super quick and easy and I LOVE them with almond butter…some shortcuts are valuable to protect mom’s postpartum focus.
The postpartum pantry
Yes, it’s true, the combination of new years energy/focus, plus nesting, and my love of #konmari after living a #sparkjoy lifestyle for 3 years, means every space in my house is absolutely de-cluttered and sparking joy–much to my husband’s teasing–though secretly he’s the same way and loves it (And I’ll have to be ok if that slips a bit in the months following babe, because the simplified life still serves us)
L-R, on bottom: dates, quinoa, sunflower seeds, trail mix, chia seeds, coconut flakes, rice, and behind: seeds, organic honey, coconut oil and molasses, nutritional yeast. The spices are all going to be found in the soups and are known for their ayurvedic warming properties–helpful for re-balancing the postpartum body.
Not too much to say here about my pantry staples, except, if you ask any new mom, the effort involved in cooking a simple meal can feel insurmountable at times…so having things prepared but also easy to reach for (rather than calling take-out, though that’s a great option occasionally too;))…will help not only me, but also my support team, to be able to easily whip things up.
Some of my favorite postpartum snacks etc that I’ll make with these ingredients are below, and the First Forty days cookbook has a killer ginger fried rice recipe (eggs, scallions, bacon, broth based) that I’m already dying for someone to make for me. You want to avoid going crazy with grains in the first few weeks (or if you’re grain free or GF like me), plan for alternatives while your digestion kicks back into gear…though never underestimate a nice beer for lactation needs, and alot of my recipes do include oats, which is a nice compromise for me. Nutritional yeast is awesome to have on hand to add to things (b vitamins!), as are the chia seeds (fiber and protein packed super seeds), and I make my favorite postpartum natural energy drink with them (energy tea, hydrate and chia seeds, so good!).
Postpartum healthy snacking
All these can be made ahead and stored in freezer for up to a month, or in your fridge for a week. So delicious and check off all the boxes of what your body needs in these early days, especially when establishing BF-ing habits, the oats and protein and healthy fats are key.
*Hormone balancing snack bars (recipe above)
*Energizing protein bites–pictured above–I ALWAYS have these stocked for myself, and my kids. Clean, delicious snacking #FTW.
Postpartum Nutritional tools—key to recovery, energy, rest and balancing hormones.
I couldn’t omit these from this post–the game-changing nutritional tools that I didn’t have after my first birth and postpartum experience. I felt SO depleted and low energy and not myself–for over a year. With these tools that I’ve used in the past 2 postpartums, I am always amazed and grateful at how much energy I have, how “easy” some of the recovery aspects are—in terms of muscle soreness, establishing rest, handling post-birth constipation/digestion issues, and reducing inflammation, setting up well for a great milk-supply and breastfeeding experience (the alfalfa is everything), and then, with the life shake, easily and gently losing the baby weight and feeling great. Of course, it’s the rest of life and the transitions that’s the challenging part, but for momma to feel her best is KEY, especially as baby’s thriving is so tied up with that in the first weeks and months.
So, here ya go.
Alfalfa: Not only does this prevent water retention/bloating for me in the 3rd trimester (say what!?) it also helps a ton with post-birth relief and reducing water retention in the early days following birth, when your body naturally begins to release it. ALSO, game changer for consistent, great milk supply. Without it, I always cycled between over supply and under-supply, and this seems to balance mine out wonderfully. If clogged ducts or any issues in that realm appear, lecithin helps miraculously.
Herblax: a gentle, very effective herbal laxative, so helpful for so many moms I know–hemorroids are common after birth and some of my friends say their’s were more painful than birth itself! Thanks to this, you can avoid all of that (and check out reflexology and pelvic postpartum care to further handle any issues in that area)
Vitalizer: the worlds best pre and post-natal supplement. Helps tremendously with replenishing iron stores post birth, probiotic is key for digestion, and the many Bs are super key for mommas who need their balanced energy with less sleep on the agenda. Also has iodine for thyroid support, and a weak/sluggish thyroid is typical for postpartum so it needs all the support we can give it.
Recover PM. So this is a tart cherry supplement used by athletes, and if birth isn’t an athletic event, I don’t know what it is. I LOVE this for my post-long run muscle recoveries, and as a natural form of melatonin, it helps with deeper sleeper cycles, so yes, a key one to have around.
GLA. This is the stuff I swear by for mood balancing and bringing the hormones back into balance. Start taking it a few per day in 3rd trimester, and you’ll notice a world of difference. I had one postpartum without it (my first) and while I didn’t have a strong case of PPD, just felt so much more moody, and with this my most recent postpartums have been a breeze in that regard. So grateful.
Cal-Mag is key for restful nights sleep and reducing feelings of anxiety/anxiousness. I’ll do epsom salt baths regularly in postpartum too, but supplementing with magnesium in the evenings (and needing calcium since I don’t do dairy) helps me get a great night sleep–and hopefully babe too:)
Pomegranate Energizing tea. If you can only get one of these amazing tools, this would be my suggestion–such a wonderful natural pick-me-up (without caffeine, just B vits and amino acids)–so many moms I’ve shared it with just swear by it for afternoon energy and a non-jittery option. Tastes amazing, pomegranate flav—with seltzer, or my fav combo, with chia seeds and the hydrate drink for a powerful nutrient punch.
Finally, Vivix. LOVE this stuff for postpartum–it’s reduces inflammation and helps with overall healing in all parts of the post-partum body–contains the anti-inflammatory benefits of a special type of grape that makes 1 serving more potent (anti-oxidant wise) than 50 glasses of red wine!! (Though you can enjoy a few of those too;))
Since I had hoped to have this freezer and pantry stocked before babe, and sharing this post is the icing on the cake, now I just can’t wait to make use of all these things to help the first few weeks flow smoothly. I hope this supports all the mommas out there–if you know someone who’s prepping for birth and would enjoy seeing these ideas, share away.
If you have recipes you swear by for post-partum, I’d love it if you could share links below in comments or email me!
Now that Christmas and New Years are behind us, my focus has turned fully to baby prep–starting with this, and organizing the space in our room for babe, and I’ll hopefully share another post on my postpartum freezer & pantry–how I’m stocking up to be prepared for a nourished/streamlined postpartum (yep, super passionate about that topic, as you might imagine;)).
At this point, everything is, “if baby hasn’t come yet”…(insert, plans) and while that’s hard for someone like me, it’s exactly where my heart needs to be.
I’ve been lucky enough to deliver my 3 babies with 2 different midwife groups, in hospital settings. This baby will be delivered with the same group that delivered Ambrose, and in one of 12 “baby friendly” hospitals in the country, that emphasizes new research on the importance of mother and child being together uninterruptedly after birth. They have AMAZING rooms overlooking the beautiful Hudson river, where I’ll be recovering, and I’m so excited for that. This post is not meant to be about the pros and cons of birth setups–there is no RIGHT or WRONG way to have a baby, but this combination has worked well for us; we have loved the quiet wisdom and presence of the midwives at our births, as well as being able to feel confident that we’re in the best medical setting if any complications arise (and I’ve had both natural and medicated births, and both have been beautiful and powerful in their own ways).
These are a few of the things I’m bringing with me for baby and I, and while I did put this packing off until after Christmas, I knew that sharing a bit by post would help motivate me to pull it all together. My husband knows that when I pack the bag, I’m finally mentally ready, and he starts to gear up as well. But baby can take his sweet time, we’re in no rush, each day is a beautiful gift that we treasure with these 3, knowing that it will all shift and re-balance as it’s meant to, but the reality of a newborn is very real by now, the 4th time around. He is the first babe in this home/space and I feel really peaceful about how our rhythms and life are set up to make this work. Plus I’m calling in all the support for postpartum–finally learning my lesson; there’s no point in pushing myself and getting frazzled/exhausted by trying to do too much during that all important and beautiful healing time.
I’ll be curious to hear (share your thoughts in the comments)–if any of these tools are helpful, inspiring or new for you, if you’re in the stages of prepping for your own babes. I find that being able to focus in on these details helps me so much with the mental state for embracing and enjoying (if possible:)) the inevitable process of birth. It’s like anything we do with great intention, focus, and in this case, acceptance–we can gain great value, even if it’s difficult.
FOR BABE:
The beautiful thing is, babies don’t need alot at first–just their mommas! Which is why I always encourage folks to pamper and love and nurture the mommas right after baby–they need it most, and their thriving = baby’s thriving, in so many ways.
*2-3 Cute outfits, the sheep sleeper was picked out by Ambrose back in the fall at our favorite kids consignment shop. It’s fun for me to have a few brand new things for each baby to mark just how special it is (though I’m also thrilled I have 2 years worth of fun boy hand-me-downs from Ambrose for when we get home from the hospital).
*These booties from Target were calling to me, it’s likely going to be quite cold when we bring this guy home.
*This swaddle just arrived from Be a Heart, and I’m in love. It’s so perfect for those first hours and days when you want a light layer for them and tons of skin-to-skin time. Having this at the ready will help me keep the context for relating to mother Mary as much as I can during this time. Such a great gift to the new moms in your life, if you haven’t seen these yet.
*Diapers/wipes–I’m trying out these water wipes from my Noobie box, and babyganics which come highly recommended…no, I don’t cloth diaper and have zero guilt–my laundry room and my life don’t need that extra layer of complication right now. But I am all about using gentle and organic wipes and diaper options when possible.
*Cutest cuddly outfit for warm transport: this one kept Ambrose warm his first winter and I love it. Baby Gap all the way…don’t know if they carry the exact one anymore.
FOR ME:
*New nursing nightgown (I think it’s key to have something comfy, that makes you feel good, I’m excited to live in it for a few weeks;)–this one’s from Gap…
*Bathrobe from Anthro: this one was calling to me when I found it on sale a few months back–I can’t wait to live in it postpartum. Again, things that you love that make you feel beautiful and cozy are all-important for new moms.
*Cozy socks—I distinctly remember this being the best thing I brought with me after having Ambrose–it’s the little things that make you feel good that are all important in those first hours/days after birth, when nothing else feels normal
*Blanqi postpartum leggings–the best. These are what I’ll go home in, and wear as much as possible, along with their nursing tanks. Total game changers, just like their pregnancy wear.
I’m using hypnobirthing this time around, with recs from a friend, so I’ll have those meditations loaded on my phone, as well as the playlist my husband is making for me. I distinctly remember how much this helped me with Emma’s birth, when I was in transition in the busy triage room and had a wild/exciting birth from there—the music helped me tune it all out.
Essential oils: The ones I’m bringing with me are a clary sage blend for hormone balancing, and clary sage is known to support the birthing process. I truly love and believe in the power of oils setting the mood and working effectively for us. The Frankinscense is for baby after birth, known for it’s sacred quality. Incredible stuff. For my best oils hookup–my dear friend Sophia is a doula @ Wild and Wise Birth, and very experienced with oils for pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Here’s her email if you want access to these and tons more education and info in that regard!
Hydrate: Just like I would be prepped for a half-marathon or intense workout, I would never attempt childbirth without this stuff now that I have it in my life. It’s the natural electrolyte drink used by olympic athletes, and if birth isn’t an endurance sport/activity, I don’t know what is 🙂
Fun new bottle for my hydrate–my husband will keep it filled for me…and yes, surround yourself with things you love for this beautiful process, just like any other moment of life.
White Chocolate Cinnamon protein bars–yumm. These totally saved me at the end of Ambrose’ labor–a very long and grueling one, that left me with very little energy when it was time to push. I asked for this bar, gobbled it down, and was ready to do the final effort to bring him into the world. 20g of high quality protein, they are also a great recovery food and postpartum staple when baby and momma protein and energy needs are high–but ability to make meals is low.
Vitalizer. My fav pre-natal that I’ve been using for 6 years and don’t go a day without. More has been written about it here…and here/..:)
Arnica oil is what my midwives use during delivery, and it’s powerful stuff–I felt it helped my birth and recovery tremendously with Ambrose…and we use it on the daily scrapes/injuries of kids–double duty 😉
Shea butter spa cream–I use it on my pregnant belly–prevents stretch marks, contains Vit E–and I have a feeling I’ll be so grateful to bathe in this (until I can take a real shower) to freshen and moisturize after birth.
I’d love to hear–what, if any of these, are you going to incorporate into your births if you’re reading this and in the business of babies (now or in future), and what did you bring and remember loving from your last birth experience?
Appreciate all the support, love and prayers for babe and I as we head into this all important preparation and the big moment.
This is my absolute favorite time of year. I love the energy of New Years, a fresh start, new perspective on our lives, and the ability to hit the reset button and embrace change. Ever since I was a little girl, I was fascinated with new years concepts. I used to sit on NYE (as young as 8/9 years old) and write down my planned themes/virtues to work on in each of the upcoming months…and made up a game for my family called “New Years Eve puzzlers” that I roped them all into–and it had questions like–“what did you like most about the previous year”, and “what are you looking forward to about the coming year” and while for many of those years it was a bit of a joke, and we laughed alot as family members made it silly; the themes stayed consistent with my entry into a career as a coach. I just love the concepts of personal transformation, and the idea that we can, with the right intention, introspection and support, truly make big changes each and every year, and grow in the ways that matter most, related to what we’re called to be and do in the world in a larger way.
Now, heading into 2019, I’m very excited to launch my Life by Design/Fulfillment in 5 course in the coming weeks, which you’ve all been helping to shape and bring to reality—one of my very own big dreams and projects (like this blog) that wouldn’t exist without the confidence that we’re meant to be moving forward, continually, in love, greater service, and seeking to use our little methods of communication and impact to make a difference in the world. I’m also so grateful that even as I prepare to have a baby and give myself space to focus on and care for him and my family–with the help of some amazing blog collaborators (guest bloggers) and partners, the amazing technology tools we have, and more, that we’ll be able to really cheer each other on in the coming weeks, continue expanding our serving and offerings, and to support all of your big and small transformations that are right around the corner.
And for you–I know you have those big dreams, projects, and desires on your heart–starting perhaps with just embracing a new level of health or organization, or taking on new habits that will serve you for the months to come. Something I love to do is to pick themes for the year (that are over-arching over the goals, and connect the dots so to speak) and I also love having a word of the year–either generated through this fun site, or discerned and chosen through journaling.
I was eager to pull together this list of some of my favorite tools and health packages to get us all off on the right foot. It’s my favorite thing in the world to see my clients, family and friends make great strides in feeling better, doing better, and increasing their inspirational impact in the world. Thanks for joining in with us, and share which of these tools you’re most excited about bringing with you into 2019!!!
As promised–I am now sharing my 3 themes prayed about and decided for 2019. They are Intention, Integration, and Impact. And the word of the year that I got from the word generator was FAMILY…totally embracing it in this coming chapter.
I hope to do a January blog post to flesh these out as I begin living them more fully, and in the meantime, share with me what themes and words of the year are coming up for you!
Top 10 Tools for a Thriving New Year (across all areas of life)
2. Meal Planning & shopping notepad. I’ve been using this one weekly for over a year and love how it streamlines our weeks, makes shopping strategic, and save us time and money. The key is for it to be something you enjoy looking at and using. You can also check out the fun meal plan downloads being offered with our Jan cleanse kits (4 weeks free meal plans valued at $21). This is such a game changer for so many busy people and families. Embrace it!
3) Need extra motivation to get back to the gym or back to working out? Some new, fun athletic wear certainly helps. I love Athleta (they have great sales going on now), New Balance for J. crew were some of my fav picks last Jan, and pro tip–you can find amazing Lulemon pieces and other great brands (sometimes Albion!)on Thredup for a fraction of their original price–eco-friendly and sustainable shopping! The link above gets you $10 off your first order, and currently 20% off using code CHOOSEUSED. Happy upgrading and getting your sweat on!!
4) Speaking of sweat, how about this great athlete’s package for the new year? Some of my favorite products are in here–a natural (powerful!) electrolyte drink that is low-glycemic and used by olympians…a super charged recovery shake, my favorite deep sleep aid/muscle recovery tool, and a quick energy boost for pre-workout–this is a must-have for the aspiring or experienced athlete. Last year I had so much fun watching a few running friends run some PRs and have an amazing season with these tools, along with some cross-fitters who swear by these. Try ’em out for support in reaching your 2019 fitness goals!
6) Healthy Cleanse kit. This is a no-brainer for anyone ready to lighten up, clear their mind, sleep better, change your cravings after the holidays (from sugar back to the good stuff!) and to reset your metabolism and get you back to your best self. Your energy levels will sky rocket, and you’ll be texting me (perhaps, it happens alot) deep cleaning your house at midnight saying “what is all this energy?”–yep, it’s that good. And we offer tons of support, recipes, and more to accompany it. Use it with the healthy weight and cleanse kit if you want to dive in and jump-start a more serious weight loss/lifestyle upgrade (remember, diet is truly a 4 letter word). Cheers, and see you in our cleanse communities on FB!
7) Foundational energy boost. The strip and shake are the exact daily health tools that I’ve been relying on to be at my best, with high energy, mood, focus and great sleep, for over 6 years. My husband and I can’t imagine life without these daily tools, and we love how many of our friends, clients and family use them too. If you’re looking to improve your health with just a few simple daily changes–start here for a personalized approach to your best 2019. So excited for your energized new year!
8) Are you looking to learn how to visualize and manifest more of the good stuff in your life in 2019? I have to say this incredible, funny, irreverent manifesting guide from Denise Duffield Thomas has helped me SO much, I come back to it often as a play-book for upgrading my mindset and lifestyle following some easy but powerful steps. Check it out, it just might be what you’re looking for to jumpstart a 2019 that’s filled to the brim with the good stuff! Keep an eye out for my upcoming post on creating a vision board for 2019-she mentions them here and I’ll go into all the fun details on how I use these as a more powerful framework for traditional new years goals. Super fun to do with friends, too.
9) A beautiful new journal. If you adopt only 1 other daily habit in 2019 (besides exercising, and your strip and shake ;)), this might just be the one to embrace. Journaling is proven to reduce stress, improve immune function, lead to better emotional habits, and boost memory and mood. Sounds like an all-around winner! And be sure to carve out a fun corner in the house to create and solidify the ritual–I always do mine with morning tea and prayer time, in the same cozy spot. I always find fun journals at Anthro, here are a few of my current favs—some on sale! And if you have kids and want to help them get started on this great habit, we’ve been loving the 5 min journal for kids for Emma–she really enjoys it.
Free scour off (natural oven and deep cleaner made of cherry pits, avocado and sand! LOVE IT!)
10) Committed to a greener lifestyle in 2019? And loving your space in new ways now that you’ve de-cluttered? Start your deep January cleaning spree with these amazing non-toxic cleaners–literally allowing you to toss all the chemicals and junk that makes you dread cleaning and perhaps even gives you a headache (or is “natural” but doesn’t work!) Clear homes, clear heads, beautiful spotless counters. Pair with your favorite essential oils scents for the ultimate natural clean. Bring on a sparkling 2019!
Thanks for letting me share a few of the things that I love to have at hand when welcoming a fresh start and a full reset—and to help my coaching clients embrace as we start out on our best new year. Truly, we know that thriving is within reach in 2019–and it’s ours to claim it, and make this coming year the best year yet. Let me know which of these you get inspired by and can’t wait to connect with you more in the coming weeks for more fun new years inspiration and life design!
At the beginning of 2018, I committed to myself to read more. It was something that always felt challenging as a mom of littles, but I love it so much, and somehow with a long cozy winter stretching out for us in Jan of last year, and many fireside moments, as well as a long list of books I was dying to read, I committed to reading at least 1 book a month, and aiming for 2.
As I do this wrap up reflection on books of the year, I’m becoming aware of just how much this habit fed my soul, my spirit, and my year of transformation–these books each had such an impact on me, so I love being able to pause now and share a few reflections–in case any of these are on your short list or you’ll be inspired for 2019…and you have to tell me–what was your favorite read of 2018, and why?
I know we have seasons of life where things/topics are more or less important in our grand priorities. For me, continually plugging into wisdom, especially in areas of health, personal development and spiritual growth are hugely important for me in my work and life as a mother and spouse. It’s like that saying—“you can’t pour from an empty cup”…and as committed as I am to pouring into my coaching clients, my business in general, and the other facets of my life that I’m called to, having these incredible (life and mind changing) reads right at my bedside make all the difference between starting out the day with a fresh inspired mind, or feeling stuck in the same mental ruts.
As you can see from my lists, I do have a heavy emphasis on non-fiction, and in different seasons of life, have gravitated more towards fiction or away from it, I know it’s good to have a balance, so perhaps you can all suggest to me some great fiction that I’ll read while snuggling my babe in 2019.
I shared at the beginning of 2018…this post 5 reads for a life changing year…those still hold the most power for me in terms of beginning of year perspective (and they form a backbone of my brand new course that’s launching!)…but I may have to add a few of these 2018 reads to the list of MUSTs for anyone who wants to grow in perspective, habits and overall fulfillment in the coming year.
Here’s a very short recap/thought on each of the reads–and tons of journal pages were written about these, so the lessons and concepts really went in as I was living.
I want to know—what are your top reads from 2018, and which books are on your short list for 2019?
“The goal of simplifying is to eliminate distractions so you can focus on what really matters.”
A Simplified Life
I read this in the summer when thinking about how to better set up our systems and spaces for family life and a nice flow. She’s got some great ideas and perspective for moms, but I also think most of the juicest ideas and tips I’ve gotten more effectively from Kon Mari books etc.
“So if the demands of your job or life require you to learn fast, deal with stress, be alert, pay attention, remember important things, and keep a positive mood, then you MUST take exercise more seriously.”
High Performance Habits.
This book probably had the biggest impact on me this year (as a first time read, the War of Art always impacts me). Brendon is just such a powerful coach and brilliant consolidator of all the amazing data/perspective from his work with high performers (meant in a balanced 360 way, not just high powered and miserable people…) I got so much out of it and can’t wait to read his Motivation Manifesto next.
To get to a business you love the first thing you need to figure out is the “why” behind your business. If it’s just to get rich, that’s fine. Making alot of money is great. I like to think of money as stored up freedom and energy and I love having lots of freedom and energy…What I’ve noticed about money is that once people get to a certain level of monetary success, they usually start looking for other things in their life….making a positive impact in the world.”
Launch.
This book has been on my shelf since fall 2017, but it was finally the right moment to dive into it when launching my new years course, and it’s a great read for entrepreuners and anyone who’s committed to doing more/impacting more, with strategic tools, and less hustle.
“Every flow activity, whether it involved competition, chance, or any other dimension of experience, had this in common: it provided a sense of discovery, a creative feeling, of transporting the person to a new reality. It pushed the person to higher levels of performance, and led to previously undreamed of states of consciousness. In short, it transformed the self by making it more complex. In this growth of the self lies the key to flow activities.”
Flow
An incredible read. I’m still slogging through it, but it’s just very juicy related to understanding what it is that makes us experience life as positive, with connected experiences, and when things are working well in moving towards our bigger goals/desires. I think this one is an important read to tackle, and I’m using alot of the nuggets in my Life design/Fulfillment in 5 course.
“A writers day.
I wake up with a gnawing feeling of dissatisfaction. I already feel fear. Already the loved ones around me are starting to fade. I interact. I’m present. But I’m not. I’m not thinking about the work. I’ve already consigned that to the muse. What I’m aware of is resistance. I feel it in my guts. I afford it the utmost respect, because I know it can defeat me on any given day as easily as the need for a drink can overcome an alcoholic.
I go through the chores, the correspondence, the obligations of daily life. Again, I’m there but not really. The clock is running in my head; I know I can indulge in daily crap for a little while but I must cut it off when the bell rings.
I’m keenly aware of the principle of priority, which states a) you must know the difference between what is urgent and what is important and b) you must do what’s important first. What’s important is the work.
The War of Art
This one is a MUST READ. It changed my life dramatically in 2017 when I first read it, and I have read it several times since. It will open your eyes to the forces of resistance that we all experience when seeking to make positive changes–in our lives and for the larger good. Why is it that it’s so easy to sit on the couch watching TV and eating junk, and so hard to get up, go to the gym, commit to starting that book we’ve always wanted to write, etc. You’ll come back to this one again and again, I promise. It just might change everything going into 2019.
“Owning our stories means reckoning with our feelings and rumbling with our dark emotions–our fear, anger, aggression, shame and blame. This isn’t easy, but the alternative–denying our stories and disengaging from emotion–means choosing to live our entire lives in the dark. When we decide to own our stories and live our truth, we bring our light to the darkness.”
Rising Strong.
My first Brene Brown, and I’m so glad I read it with my influencers club–it’s intense, there’s alot to unpack here, and it’s powerfully important for anyone who’s struggling/trying to understand the dynamics of hurt, vulnerability, courage in facing very challenging life circumstances, deepening relationships, and much more. I think it requires some wise folks to read it with, to truly get into all the layers. A few of my family members read it too, and really loved it. If you’re intrigued, start with her TED talks!
“There is a tendency with anyone who loves any kind of work to fantasize that if you just had endless time for it, you’d be able to achieve perfection in this field. Yet what I’d discovered is that when you put love first, not only does your life improve, but your work improves.”
One Beautiful Dream.
Such a great read about the power of embracing the messy process of growing a family while also embracing personal passions. Since this is my life and I coach many folks in this, I felt that she was speaking to me directly in so many ways, and I have a blog post coming with some more thoughts on this idea that the expansion of family and our vocation–saying the big yes, can also bring real power and expansion to all the small yeses we’re trying to say. This is a big, beautiful answer to “Lean in” and I love it.
“Times of imbalance may be seasonal, or change by the day. Our tendency is to shift out of balance, so let’s focus on counterbalance, on cramming our life with what we love most. Appealing, isn’t it?”
The Empowered Mama
Written by the founder of Fit4mom, it has tons of juicy tips. I think it’s more for moms who are feeling stuck with needing to find better ways to care for self and family, and it definitely set a good framework for some new perspective for me heading into the year, as I juggled the needs of business and family in new, creative ways. Probably the best parts were related to saying yes/no which is more powerfully treated in “The Best Yes”.
“Every book I’ve ever written is based on this core theme of my life. It’s the lesson I’ve learned over and over again…so it inevitably weaves its way into my stories, and this book especially. It’s the gift I wish I could give every person I know. It is the thing I wish someone had taught me as a child. Instead, I had to navigate life and figure it out on my own. It is the greatest lesson I have to give you. Only YOU have the power to change your life.”
Girl Wash your Face
Everyone is in love with Rachel Hollis right now. I liked the book–it’s super easy to read–like candy—but I also didn’t find it all to be life-changing wisdom. If anything, it’s a powerful example that someone can follow her heart, build a brand, and share a message that resonates, and in this day and age, that can grow way beyond her wildest dreams. I took away from it, that if Rachel can pursue her dreams and watch them grow, we all can. And that’s what I think she wants us to feel, the courage to take that first step.
“…A pure blink moment, a small miracle happened, the kind of small miracle that is always possible when we take charge of the first two seconds: they saw her for who she truly was.”
Blink.
This was a good read, tough at times to plow through, but worthwhile. It’s connected to the power of intuition that I’m really fascinated by, and classic Malcolm, you just enjoy the stories he brings into it.
“It’s not lost on me that to plant things in the garden, I have to get down on my knees. In the wait of those ten weeks, we prayed hard in hopes that God would grow something good as we stepped forward in fear-filled faith.”
Cultivate
I’ve used Lara Casey’s powersheets in the past (didn’t love them, I’m a desire map planner girl all the way), and I’ve followed her journey of motherhood and brand building from afar. I was inspired by many parts of this book–as in–cried–and also loved that I was creating my own little garden at the time when I was reading all her garden metaphors about how to be patient, tender and caring about the things that truly matter, in a world that pushes us to focus on many other passing things. It’s a good read, but not as powerful in retrospect as I thought it might be.
“Energy motivates but charisma inspires. Energy is easy to see, easy to measure, and easy to copy. Charisma is hard to define, near impossible to measure, and too elusive to copy. All great leaders have charisma because all great leaders have clarity of WHY; an undying belief in a purpose or cause bigger than themselves.”
Start with Why
This is a classic read for entrepreuners/leaders and I enjoyed it. I think that it could have been about half the length and been just as powerful. His TED talks are where to go if you want to hear more about this topic.
If nothing inspires you, try Daniel Pink’s prescription:
*Make a list of 5 things you are good at.
*Make a list of 5 things you love to do.
*Make a 3rd list of where the first two lists overlap.
*Read that list, then ask yourself, “will anyone pay me to do these things?”
What Color is your Parachute.
Hmm. This was one that was recommended by several different folks as an avenue for career changers/finding your true calling through a series of tips, exercises (creating a flower) and more. I have to say, it’s very powerful and shows just how important this topic is, but the work itself is archaic, really old-school in method, and I have been (and am!) approaching some of the same stuff, but in a lighter, better way through working with life-coaches in past, and now infusing some of the themes on personal understanding and where to best serve, and thrive, into my #fulfillmentin5 course.
“We want to improve ourselves, to have more pride in ourselves, and to love and respect ourselves. We are hungry for guidance and support that will help us grow to be more powerful, more generous, and more self-assured. Anyone who has come full circle can tell you that these are the things that bring true happiness.”
The 4 year career.
A short and powerful read on the impact/power of the kind of business I do—one of my income streams 😉 All about leveraging relationships and impact—it’s relevant for many who want to figure out how to impact more with less of their time and energy. So good.
“Stop thinking. Stop expecting. Stop living in the past. Stop living in the future…Pay attention to the quality of time. The Kairos-ness of time. And in a way I think of the phrase keep time…listen to the sounds, listen to the music of your own life. Listen to the voices of the people you live with, listen to the songs they sing. I don’t mean songs tra-la-la, but I mean listen to the music of their voices. Listen to the slamming of the screen door. Listen to the patter of feet walking back up the path. Listen to the turning of a tap in the tub, because that is in a very profound and touching way the music of your life. It is the song out of time that sings to you. Keep in touch with time, not just as rush and tumble.”
The Remarkable Ordinary
A poignant and beautiful book that was perfect for long summer days by the lake, pool and in each moment rather than just speeding up life to check things off and do more. Frederick Buechner brings a powerful and artistic look into life and it’s deeper meaning, to be found in each precise moment that passes, and encourages us to stop, to look, to wonder. The author is someone who grappled with his own father’s suicide; I think that this book is really challenging us to get at the heart of what makes life rich, and to embrace it, rather than letting moments just flow by. It’s vulnerable and powerful.
Spiritual reads. I usually do a few minutes of these per day with journaling, so they are slower going, I like to chew on them.
“Man’s greatest need is love, love for God and for brother and sister. We do not have here a lasting city. We are pilgrims plodding along to the fatherland, wayfarers on the way to home.”
Happy are you poor.
I reflected in a prior post on how this shaped my thoughts about contentment, and freedom of spirit, when we remove some of the striving/grasping aspects of life and focus in on the beauty and joy of simple living. It’s something my husband recommended to me to check out, and it’s been so good for my heart. It’s bringing the kon mari lifestyle that I love to a new level of connecting it with our spiritual journey. Definitely challenging and I’ll come back to the themes and quotes from it again and again. I think that knowing where our true treasure lies allows us to go about our lives well–expanding resources just means more that we can give away and to keep our hearts pure and as focused as we can.
“Another way of living poverty of spirit is to consent to the present moment, without trying to return to the past or plan the future. We possess only the present. We should accept the past and trust the future to divine providence. Don’t stockpile provisions. Forget the way already traveled and set out afresh each day. Don’t boast about the good accomplished or worry about the evil committed, but begin again each morning, believing, hoping and loving.”
The 8 doors of the kingdom;
Recommended by my spiritual director, this one tied in so well to the one above, and these are the themes that are being given to me to dwell on; to truly understand and live the power of the beautitudes is a challenge that I’m grateful for. This is Jacques Phillipe’s newest work, and it’s a perfect connection with his lovely style with this rich material.
“As a mother’s love draws the heart of her child like a powerful magnet, so too, does the genuinely kind person wield the power to influence others for good.”
The Hidden power of kindness.
Again, recommended by my spiritual director, and I slowly but surely plugged away at it in the early months of the year, I LOVE this one, I recommend it highly, it’s just an entire framework shift in terms of how we look at charity, truly loving those in our lives, and connects to the beauty and power of positivity (not fake, but real, deep kindness) and how our words, actions, thoughts, and lives are either building up the kingdom (starting with our own souls) or are harming and taking away from God’s power in the world. This is a must read.
Health and Wellness reads. Some great ones that I reference often and have really shaped my thinking on these topics.
“The problem is that while most of us are aware that our diets are not what they should be, we are unaware of our increased nutritional needs and/or genetic predisposition. We are also often unaware that we are at high risk of disease. For too many Americans, the first indication they have heart disease is sudden death, the first indication of high blood pressure is a stroke, or the first indication of cancer is the diagnosis of stage 3 or 4 cancer.”
Slaying the supplement myths.
A great resource that I turn to often, especially in discussions with folks about MTHFR, and much more. There’s so much fad-ish info out there, and it’s key to find folks we can trust to inform our opinions on such matters.
“Ironically, the process of giving yourself permission to eat is actually the stepping-stone to rebuilding your trust with food and with yourself. In the beginning, each positive food experience is like a tiny thread. They may be few and far between, and seem insignificant, but eventually the threads form a strand. The strands multiply to form strong ropes and finally the ropes become the bridge to a foundation of trust in food and in yourself.”
Intuitive Eating
This is such an incredible resource that I’ve been unpacking in my own life this year (hello, pregnancy, when one is encouraged to eat intuitively!), and imagine how healing that this concept could be (and is!) for so many who discover and embrace it, as part of an overall mindful and healthy life–when I share it with clients it’s literally life changing at times. We’re so trained to think we have to diet, restrict, or “not care” about food choices rather than following this other path. I’m excited to say that some of these themes will be appearing in my 2019 book project that I’m starting with an incredible and inspiring friend–more on that soon! I was coming to this place on my own in Jan 2018, but didn’t have the book in hand until it was referenced by someone I trust in mid Feb. Incredible how the timing of these things works out and is always meant to be.
There are some 8 million microbial genes in the gut–400 times more than than in the human genome. Even more astonishing, we humans differ very little from each other genetically, sharing more than 90% of our genes, but the assortment of microbial genes in our guts differs dramatically, and only 5 % of them are shared between any 2 individuals. The gut microbiome adds a whole new dimension of complexity and possiblities to our brain-gut emotion-generating machinery.”
The Mind-Gut connection.
This is a powerful read, for those of us who love to nerd out on this topic. And more and more folks are coming to me with an awareness that they want to heal mood disorders, depression, anxiety and more with natural paths, healing the gut, introducing supplements and eating that truly supports their thriving, rather than just increasing doses of medication (which I absolutely believe are necessary and valuable in certain cases…but have also seen from my own life as well as others, that there can be many negative side effects involved and it shouldn’t be taken lightly, or as the end-goal). This book is just so good, and this ground-breaking research is leading many of us to approach healing the gut as a primary health concern. I love being partnered with a nutrition brand that is doing this all important research and rolling out new formulas of probiotics and tools to support the mind-gut axis that we now know about. It’s truly the next stage of wellness in my opinion.
My only completed fiction of the year. C’est la vie. And it’s a good one!
“She closed her eyes and I watched the shadow settling in the hollow of her throat. It was like a little dip where the darkness had crept to hide from the evening light. When the breath rattled in her through and her heart stopped beating, I noticed that the shadow in the hollow quivered.”
I started a Marilynne Robinson novel this summer but didn’t finish it…;0
Walking into the night is the only one that I got through in my bedtime reads, and it’s lovely, entrancing and powerful. But I have to say, I haven’t had a taste for fiction recently–maybe you all can suggest some fiction for me for 2019 to balance it out (though I’ve learned to be mindful of what I read right after baby as that postpartum period can be intense enough, and doesn’t need to be mixed with emotional literature…I read Sigrid Undset after Ambrose and had to put it down…).
To summarize–I’m so grateful I made a goal and embraced more reading in my life (and created space for it!) in 2018–I can see all the ways in which my mind and heart have been changed in this process, and while I know, heading into a season of newborn in a few weeks, I may not have reading as high on the agenda, there are many many hours when I’m able to be quietly nursing/rocking and being with babe, so I’ll be sure to keep good reads nearby to sneak in to the moments. I remember right after Ambrose I was a voracious reader during his feeding times, and that was when I tackled and loved books like Spark Joy and the War of Art for the first time!
This is my short list for 2019…and I’m excited and grateful for my amazing influencer club—we always bring new books to each other, and pick new reads for each month, so I know that accountability will help; and if you’re in need of some motivation and accountability for reading, create a like-minded group–either in person or by zoom call, and you’re off!
2019 books I’m excited about:
*12 Rules for life by Jordan Peterson–I just touched this during holidays and it’s going to be awesome for the new year
*Dare to Lead, Brene Brown
*Motivation Manifesto, Brendon Burchard
Here’s a fiction list that I’ve liked looking at in the past with mom friends (if fiction is your priority): Well Read Moms 2019.
This past January, the very beginning of 2018, I was encouraged by one of my wise mentors to look at 2-3 themes or intentions for the year ahead. These would be key words or phrases that tied into my vision board and that would guide my approach to the new year and to the monthly or 90 day action plans and goals that I might set. I think we both knew that an overarching theme would help make my short-term goals more meaningful.
I wanted to pause and reflect on how these themes played out for us this year and to share this concept with all of you in case it’s a valuable one for looking at 2019, which is right around the corner.
This quote has come to capture so well what I feel convicted to live, and to encourage others in.
I know for me, sometimes looking at a new year, and aiming to set goals can feel intimidating. We know life can change so much, take unexpected turns, in life, job, career, family, and we want to make sure that our goals will be in line with the big picture vision even as it may change in detail.
I hear this from many folks I work with, that it’s much easier to set monthly or 90 day goals, and harder when it comes to longer stretches of time, like a full year. But, at the same time, the power of a new year is just that—imagining how different life can be a year from now, and embracing the love for that progress and transformation that we’re ready to experience.
For me, setting up themes for 2018 that applied throughout the year helped bridge the gap between the future I imagine and the reality of my more short-term goals. It’s also allowed me to smile and sometimes even laugh out loud at God’s sense of humor.
So, without further ado, here are my three key themes for 2018 and some musings on how these themes played out in my life and in our life as a family in the last year.
Theme 1: CREATE SPACE
The first theme I focused in on this year was to CREATE SPACE. This is a phrase I use a lot, in my business, coaching and general approach to life. I find that when we declutter our spaces, schedules, lives, we allow room for the GOOD stuff. You know, the moments we want to remember for a long time.
I’ve spent years glorifying the hustle (a remnant of my Brooklyn lovin’, NYC bustlin days)… even with several kids in tow, and a few things have helped me shift away from worshiping being busy (or hiding behind my busyness as an excuse for why my bigger dreams and life goals weren’t getting tackled).
One of them reaching a point of frustration with the pace, and realizing it wasn’t allowing me to fully enjoy each day and the little moments with the kids, that can be packed with meaning. Another avenue for mindset change was a book called “Chasing Slow”—and the other one was a book called “The Best Yes,” which is about the beautiful grace of saying no, to the things in life that we can feel pressured to do or take on, so that we have the energy, mental focus and ability to say YES and be all in on the things that we truly value or feel called to do. These books, as well as our intentional family move 18 months ago to the country for a naturally slower pace of life, and embracing this with my children—and seeing how they like to live their best days—it’s all led me to the conviction that we need to work hard—in our social media driven, commercial, NOISY world, to carve out that beautiful space in which to live meaningful days, with lots of intention, connection to the small (and big) tasks. It takes real effort, and is so worthwhile.
For 2018, there were plenty of things I said no to, especially in the early parts of the year…when I was feeling called to a deeper rest, a deeper, more peaceful family life, and new rhythms, that helped us finally get the hang of the 3 kids thing, and to all thrive. It also looked like carving out time in the spring to train for a half marathon, to launch the girls to the end of an amazing first year in their new school, and then to welcome baby #4, right at a time when we were heading into a summer of slower rhythms and beautiful days with nature as a forefront focus—-lazy days at our local lake beach, long days in the backyard, the kids enjoying stretching themselves in all the ways they know how.
Creating space to welcome a new life into our family, and to continue having a flow and rhythms that work well into the fall, has been such a blessing. Yes, it’s hard to fight the pressure at times, for more extracurriculars, more volunteer things (that I love), or more errands (ok, not hard to fight those off!), but my heart was craving LESS, along with the 2nd theme, so that’s been our work.
I think that we’ll learn these lessons all over again when we welcome another babe in January 2019 and zero in on just the most simplified and beautiful rhythms to support and nourish the family during that season that’s coming up. I know I don’t want to miss the important moments, and CREATING SPACE started as an exploratory theme for the year, and is now the baseline for a full life by design course that I’m launching for all of us to work through in early 2019.
Theme 2: CONTENTMENT
The second theme for 2019, CONTENTMENT.
This one is hard for someone like me. I’m a thinker-ahead—focus on the future, often itching for the next thing…sometimes living in the future at the expense of the present. This has had it’s advantages for me, but as a mother, it too often creates a pull that disquiets me. I felt in prayer and in chats with my husband, Joel, that I needed to really embrace this theme and nurture more contentment. With a business that can always demand more, and with family life and motherhood always able to tempt me to MORE…I wanted to be able to wake up each day, and say—it’s ENOUGH. What I’m doing today, what we’ll get done, where we’ll go, how we’re living, with simplicity and focus on our family values, it’s ENOUGH.
How many of us know our hearts need this! I had a few books that were helping in this regard—and one of them has a title some of you may laugh at. It’s called “Happy Are You Poor”…and my dear husband recommended it to me as we had these conversations about being content with the present moment, and what we have, rather than staying in a striving mode. It’s a reminder that more of worldly things is not what makes our hearts either at peace, or brought to their full fulfillment. It’s a good wake up call, and reminder. Another fantastic read for me was the 8 doors of the kingdom, meditations on the beatitudes, reminding us that detachment and focus on other than earthly things are what sets our hearts at peace. The books mentioned above (“Chasing Slow”) was also helpful in this regard.
And truly, some days in the summer, as I looked around at our slow, peaceful rhythms, and as I focused on not desiring things, not shopping online, not scrambling for business goals, more followers, more extracurriculars, more, more more, I found that I was happier. And this happiness brought more clarity to me–of what I was truly seeking when making goals or plans. I think this one needs to carry through for me into this coming baby season as well. Getting away from measuring worth, accomplishment, or my treasure in the wrong places.
And I found that in my contentment, my relationships and my impact could be more real and less forced. It’s so important for gratitude to be the baseline of our lives, that they can be fully rich. I journal daily (this habit has fully clicked back in this year), and the themes of knowing what I HAVE, and how good it really is, helps balance out my approach to growth, in various areas of life or work.
Theme 3: COMMUNITY
The final theme for 2018 was COMMUNITY. We were 6 months into a new home, new school, and new area when the new year hit, and I knew we were called to dive in and both foster community where we’re landed, as well as reach out in faith and form new bonds of community across miles, where appropriate.
In Jan of this year, we launched a postpartum community that has become a beautiful group of women and friends that I value deeply. We cheer each other on, listen to challenges, and encourage in the most fragile and important stages of healing, growing, and thriving after a birth. I am so grateful for how it’s blossomed and developed–especially as I prepare for another postpartum. Additionally, we’ve formed a few other important communities around different topics—business related, beautifully growing the influencers reading group I love dearly, and some communities on healthy motherhood and kids.
Then in our day to day lives, on the ground, we were able to dive more fully into the school community we’re blessed to be a part of, and to have real, deep friendships begin to take root—both among the kids, and with the parents. Which led us to beautiful summer nights up LATE under the stars, sharing wine and laughter with amazing new friends, who we now can’t imagine life without. Or beach days lingering into dusk, with the kids playing sand soccer, and celebrating life and sunshine with good people.
These are my 3 themes for 2018—I’m still marveling at how real and relevant they continued to be for me, even as my monthly goals, task lists, and details of life shifted.
For 2019…well, I have some that I’m close to committing to, but I’ll probably save them for another new year’s post.
I’d love to hear from you—do you explore themes and intentions as you kick off a new year? Will you explore themes and intentions as part of welcoming 2019? It’s fun if they start with the same letter, but not necessary, of course 😉 If you have any experiences to share about thinking in themes for seasons of life, I’d love to hear about it!
If you’re interested in trying this for the year 2019, I recommend just spending some time journaling, talking to those you trust, and seeing what comes up for you! You might be surprised at how quickly your heart and mind land on the themes you need to embrace for peace and growth in the coming year.
A super fun word of the year generator can provide additional inspiration and hilarity (while it’s random, it seemed uncannily relevant from all the folks we did it with last year). My word of 2018 that was generated for me was BALANCE. I can’t say I have it fully figured out, but I’m worlds more balanced in many aspects of life than I felt a year ago, at the holidays.
So here’s to a fresh start, a new perspective, a new way to approach new years.
Much love and thank you for being part of this blogging journey in 2018. I had no idea where it would lead and I’m just having a blast as we continue onward and upward!
Should go without saying, but nothing in this post should be construed as medical advice. Speak with your provider before making any changes to your nutrition/fitness plans, especially when pregnant or TTC.
As a health coach and mom of 3, now nearing the end of my 4th pregnancy, I get asked often about what I do and what I take to stay healthy, energized and balanced during pregnancies. Many folks assume that my pregnancies have been a breeze, but in all honesty they have been getting progressively easier/better, which is the opposite of many women’s experience. I think it’s like many things in life–there’s a learning curve, and when we get better at something, it feels easier (or maybe we’re just busy running after the other kids and don’t notice as much)…for me, it’s been a huge lesson in grace, acceptance of all the changes that happen to welcome and grow baby, while still holding on to the things that matter to me and make me at my best (fitness habits), which, it turns out, are good for baby too. I’ve learned to really value intuitive eating, in my pregnancies, and that’s helped me with self-love, and addressing some past issues around eating and body image. Motherhood really does change us for the better in every way if we let it.
Many folks don’t know that with my first pregnancy, I was diagnosed as borderline gestational diabetic, and had to change my diet…I was working 60+ hour weeks, and while I was young and overall healthy, the lifestyle wasn’t super conducive to a great pregnancy (long hours at a desk, pretty high stress, I ate whatever I had time to grab while pushing forward on projects, and finally with the pregnancy, had to teach myself to eat and seek out real nourishment beyond coffee and carbs). That first pregnancy was a big wake up call, and the beginning of my journey from finance, into the world of health and holistic living. It’s amazing what realizing you’re responsible for another person’s health and well-being will do for a mother…she learns to truly love herself in new and important ways–deep care for self translates to a deeper level of health for baby. It’s a beautiful thing, and I went through that process, but also knew I needed to get serious about what I was fueling my body with, and the kind of daily habits I had, so as not to put future children at risk for diabetes in a real way (and it’s in our family).
I now have such an amazing level of support–from some of the things I share below, to my amazing midwives, pelvic PT, reflexology, acupuncture providers, that I’ve wisely created (through learning the hard way perhaps), and I’ve truly enjoyed and loved every day of this pregnancy so far. As we head into the final 5 weeks–I want to pause and acknowledge just what a gift it’s been. And I’ve had the perspective that this vibrancy and incredible energy has been given to me for a reason–and I’m working to serve in the ways I’m meant to, even while I carefully say no to things and prevent myself from burning out.
This time around, there’s been an extra focus on supporting my core, pelvic floor, and keeping it safe and strong, knowing just how long and challenging the recovery process can be. This is why I dove into the prepare program of the Every Mother site/app. I was a featured member this month, so more about my story and the difference it’s made for me can be found on their site. Basically, my diastisis from pregnancies 2 and 3 has been reversed significantly, and we’re working on not having any/too much to speak of from this pregnancy. It’s about learning to move safely and effectively (and to keep moving!) so I’m VERY grateful to have discovered it and to have jumped into the program right as I was conceiving (without realizing the perfectness of the timing–and not showing a bump until 18 weeks, much to my surprise).
#32weekbump
Fast forward to now, I’ve had 3 pregnancies where the GD test at 24 weeks come back perfectly normal, and the caretakers can’t believe it because normally with a history/presence of it, it’s always there for subsequent pregnancies, but I know that the changes I made have made all the difference, and for that I’m truly grateful.
The tough thing I see as a health coach, is that we want to be able to go out and trust an organic prenatal vitamin and call it a day (eat a balanced, whole foods diet, etc) but sometimes that’s just not enough. For one thing, many of the standard prenatals on the shelves have been found in recent FDA studies to have high amounts of lead in them. Shocking, but true. So you have to find the right brand partner to trust your health and your baby’s to. For me, that all came together as I was deciding to pursue health coaching career during my 2nd pregnancy, and was finding that, after some research, I could trust this natural nutrition company that you’ll see mentioned here. There’s so much more I could say on this topic, but I think moms feel it most deeply, we know that we want only the best for baby and for ourselves, and we’re willing to search high and low to get that quality. Then, when we can feel a difference (a huge boost in daily energy), we’re hooked. I love that often I’m one of the first to know when folks are pregnant (before close family) because they come to me ready to figure out what will make them thrive and keep baby growing well–I’m good at keeping a secret when I need to be 🙂
I love the nutrition science related to pre-natal health. If you want to nerd out too, you’ll enjoy this video by some docs I trust and have had the pleasure of working with.
Now 6.5 years of taking this pre-natal/post-natal supplement, I truly can’t imagine life without it. It’s my secret to endless energy–(yes, I was born with that, but nutrient depletion is real during most pregnancies, so many moms find themselves wiped out through the process of pregnancies and breastfeeding—while my bloodwork #s are always surprising to my docs).
It’s my desert island product, and you’ll find me taking it every day by 2pm, so I can keep powering along, and growing baby with all the best stuff that I know is being absorbed and used well by both of us. I wrote a whole other post/round-up of testimonies from midwives, other moms, etc. so you can find that here.
#20weekbump, my running buddy
And as for my other daily tools, here’s a few things I take daily (and why). All can be run by your particular doc for their approval, and all are pharmaceutical grade, with quality standards that are 4x the level for an organic label.
It’s alot to take, but it’s all so worth it if if means thriving babe and mom.
Cal-Mag. Calcium needs go way up in pregnancy, and so does our need for magnesium, which is slightly hard to get solely by diet, but with this daily and my weekly epsom salt baths (stork brand, so good), that is satisfied. I’m mostly dairy free so especially supplementing calcium becomes key. Magnesium has the wonderful side effect of calming nervous system, promoting restful sleep, and I can’t imagine life without this one (oh, it’s a chewable, that’s fun).
Immunity through Nutriferon. Pregnancy hormones can slightly suppress our immune system, just when we need it most, because we don’t want to be taking any OTC medications or really just having to battle any colds, or anything. This product has helped a few friends immensely who were run down and often sick in pregnancy, and for me I take it as needed, but always have it around, especially if I see sniffles from the kids or just know all that they are getting exposed to at school. It was designed by a scientist who discovered interferon, our body’s ability to increase white blood cell production, and he created this product at the request of Shaklee. Cool stuff for those who like to nerd out on health.
This is another product I can’t imagine living without in pregnancy (well, I remember from my first pregnancy, and it wasn’t fun: the bloating, the water retention, swollen ankles, especially in warm weather). All of that is managed by this product, Alfalfa. It’s a super green with tons of nutrients and is a gentle, natural diuretic, supporting your cleansing organs. It also helps with creating/stimulating a good milk supply so be sure to take it daily in 3rd trimester, and of course in postpartum. It’s truly incredible stuff. No more swollen ankles or icky bloat feeling that is all too common. Also helps with heartburn (along with probiotic below) and even sore muscles (anti-inflammatory powerhouse).
GLA. This is a game changer for many women–it’s a hormone balancing supplement. And we all know pregnancy is a roller coaster of hormones, but sometimes we just need to be able to manage their affects, and this is huge for me in early pregnancy (can reduce the morning sickness symptoms because obviously those are hormone swing triggered). It’s also crucial in 3rd trimester with the hormone swings, mood swings, and then the potential for developing PPD symptoms which can arise in late pregnancy as well. I had (realizing it after), a mild PPD with my first, and when taking this with my 2nd pregnancy and afterwards, I’ve always been so balanced and had none of those mood issues (need to take it consistently in first 6 weeks postpartum too!)…so try it out or recommend to someone who’s struggling in that area.
So this is an extra dose of B’s, beyond what’s in the vitalizer (which is the standard dose recommended for a certified pre-natal, and increased based on the research of the science team, about studies of real folic acid needs of mothers). I’m not here to have the great folic acid debate; suffice to say my #s are incredible, my midwives are always blown away by all of my bloodwork, and this extra B boost is time released–helps with all day energy and with mood.
Ok, if you want me to send you some things to read on the folic/folate discussion topic, just comment or email me, I’m more than happy to since I have it often. But meanwhile, grab some B’s and get happier and more energized!!!
This is one of my secret weapons 🙂 It’s a tart cherry supplement designed to reduce muscle soreness after an intense workout for example. So I have used it as an athlete. But guess what, it’s a natural form of melatonin, and you can take 1 or 2 pills, depending on how interrupted your sleep is, and I find that in late 2nd, and 3rd trimester, taking 1-2 of these can knock me out and I wake up feeling like a million bucks–much deeper sleep than I might normally get with a little being bumping around in there. Totally safe for pregnancy and just a real life-changer to get fantastic rest in late pregnancy. Heaven knows we need it 😉
All these things that some people just throw up their hands and say “well, that’s just life being pregnant, your ankles swell and you don’t sleep well” I say—hmm…there must be a better way. Does it have to be like that? And no, it doesn’t.
Saving some of the best for last. EZ-Gest is a form of digestive enzymes, which many nutritionists recommend that everyone take, but especially in pregnancy, hormones can mess with our digestion alot, and this is a super saver. It will prevent/help with heartburn, and when eating rich foods, especially in late pregnancy. I take it as needed before 3rd trimester, but these days I’m taking it daily (especially with foods I’m slightly sensitive to like gluten), and it’s awesome.
Ok—In my experience coaching so many women in the pre and post-natal phase, stress can play a huge part in overall well-being and also in our digestion. We all know that there’s a strong link between healthy gut, and a healthy mind/mood, with new research, so this brand new product is the answer to some of that (with almost a decade of research on this single product and the 4 strains of probiotics in it). So not only is it powerful for immunity, it’s helping so much with keeping momma’s gut healthy, which is critical for baby’s health too. This one is a keeper. The vitalizer has a probiotic in it too, for daily consumption–this can be an every other day, or as needed–but I highly recommend the extra boost; your gut and your mood will thank you.
OK…3 more secret weapons, that you’ll want to have around. Vitamin E complex is known for preventing varicose veins and supporting circulation and skin health (so good!) and it can also help prevent stretch marks, along with daily application of the shea butter which smells like heaven to a pregnant lady at the end of a long day. The final one is energizing tea, I know so many pregnant ladies who find this puts the perfect non-caffeinated pep in their step, and of course, carries over to benefit in postpartum as well!
#28weekbump I’ve been documenting this little guy’s growth more than my others…maybe because he feels like such an un-looked for gift.
Daily habits for thriving
Oh, so many things we learn along the way, in this crazy motherhood journey. Sometimes the hard way, when we push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion/overwhelm. I’ve been there, it’s not fun. But definitely my level of self-care is way deeper this time around, and have that sense of love for self and love for baby’s needs being one and the same. If I need a nap, I find a way to grab one…
…and I’m much more aware of my limits, and my body telling me–I need more sleep, stretching, or nourishment, or just rest on the couch. So yes, while my 3 kids keep me busy, I make sure I make time for the following habits, knowing that if I can stay at my best and serve the needs of my babe and I, with lots of energy and focus for them, then we’ll all win.
#29 week bump doing some yoga
*Daily stretching (sometimes yoga flows, sometimes just mindful stretching into areas that feel tight). This along with the Every Mother program which has nice short daily focus, with longer (20 min) exercises 2-3 times per week in the prepare program.
*Daily walks. This has been my best habit for both mental and physical health. Getting outside with my little 2 year old sidekick, is just the best. Leaving behind the to-do lists, the home environment (messy or tidy as it may be) and getting out, even in the very cold recent days, always helps to reset my energy levels, my mood, my focus, and I can enjoy several miles in the beautiful nearby towns that offer us attractions, and beautiful walking spaces. In past pregnancies I always put a premium on regular runs, even into my 3rd tri, and this time, I think with an extra awareness of not wanting to overly tax my abs and ligaments, and pelvic floor, I’ve been happier with walking, even vigorously to break a sweat. Gentle and effective has been the name of the game, plus the fact that I can do it with my guy makes it wonderful bonding time as well.
*Daily shake…I usually have these 20 gram of protein powerhouse drinks at least 1 daily; it helps baby grow with those needed nutrients and my own lean muscle mass, and preps me well for a good postpartum transition.
*Weekly epsom salt baths, for muscle soreness, and magnesium absorption/relaxation. Love this ritual. I use the stork brand from amazon when pregnant, and other ones for my normal (athlete status) life.
*3rd trimester super foods. Pineapples are amazing for softening/ripening the cervix when the time is right. Dates are known to have enzymes that can help the labor process. Red raspberry leaf tea, for toning and strengthening, encouraging the uterus to do it’s thing. Fiber–tons of fiber. For me that’s often celery and almond butter, or kale shakes, etc.
*Daily prayer, journaling, slower/mindful mornings, screen free time, and strong night rituals, now with hypnobirthing reading/listening as part of my night-time process as I prepare for a beautiful, peaceful birth.
That’s it folks. Thanks for reading and connecting with me about thriving pregnancy. Who in your life might appreciate seeing this? Feel free to share.
If you’re not pregnant: share this with someone who is, or who wants to be?
If you are pregnant: feel free to start by taking your own personal health print quiz here, that will give you some great recs to start with, and then we can easily schedule a quick chat to discuss how all of this, above, may support your best pregnancy! Most ladies just bring the labels/fact sheets to their providers to get their OK for any of these things!
If you’re postpartum–check out Every Mother reclaim program for sure…! And…while many of these products are perfectly overlapping and support postpartum very well, I also have 2 other posts you may want to check out:
