fbpx

Category: daily rhythms

Posted on

Life lessons from my garden

Maddy’s note: this is my 100th blog post! I had no idea when we started this humble project a few years back, where it would take us, and how much we would enjoy the process. Thanks to all you faithful readers, and a huge shout-out and thank you to my sister Annie, my talented editor.

This post was featured in the Theology of Home roundup on August 5, 2020.

Our humble garden has been changing the pace of our summers for four years now. 

It started as a fun project that we took on when moving to the “country,” and has become something we look forward to each year. The first year was a lesson in many things, but mostly in eagerness. We enjoyed building the beds and planting a large multitude of different seeds and seedlings, only to realize we could overcrowd the plants, and that we had alot to learn about tending them into a fruitful harvest.

When I started my gardening habits four years ago, I was in a season of mild postpartum anxiety (PPA) and was generally overwhelmed. Adjusting from two to three kids was hard for me, and on top of that, we had made a big (wonderful) move to a more rural lifestyle, out of the crazy hustling pace of New York City. It was a lot of change, and I needed a full reset of the pace that I’d grown accustomed to. I knew that life could be simpler, slower, and richer in little ways, but I struggled to relinquish the cultural pressures of hustle, “more,” and “instant,” and my kids did too.

As we learned to tend our plants that first summer, I saw a shift in all of us. Of appreciation for simple daily miracles, of slowness, of wonder at the beauty of our world, and at our chance to cultivate a small corner of it. 

Over these four summers, we’ve spent some beautifully memorable hours prepping, tending to it (though we’re very low-maintenance about it relative to some expert gardeners), and of course, harvesting, as we are now in July and August. 

There are cherry tomatoes we eat like candy, herbs for nightly dinner enhancements (and cocktails, of course), and other things like cucumbers and zucchinis, eggplant, bell peppers, that appear almost overnight and miraculously…the growth can almost be seen if you watch closely. It reminds me of how it feels to watch my children, ages almost 10 to 18 months, growing before my eyes with the simple ingredients of summer: food, sunshine, and long hours of play. 

In a culture that emphasizes and values consumption over all (think our overflowing homes, netflix subscriptions and screen consumption, constant need for new, different, the way social media fans the flames of need cycles), I know that our humble attempt to grow a garden is something that helps me pause. To lean towards other values. Of cultivation, care-taking, and a slower pace of life. 

Why we garden: some thoughts

Gardening is an excellent form of the “unplugging” and resetting that we all need, especially in the midst of a year that has challenged everything about our sense of normalcy. 

In the past, we, like many other families, have gone down the path of summertime crowding and the “consumption” of experiences like camps, activities at the library, and vacations away. I’m still sometimes guilty of falling prey to this, but the presence of our garden and the life flourishing right there in that patch, pulls me back to a more grounded reality, helping me relish staying home and living expansively within our spaces.

A book that I read last summer drove home this perspective from another angle. There are some nearly forgotten values that we would do well to build our lives on—sustainability, cultivation, peace, patience, and a long-term perspective. Cultivating these values leads us to make decisions that have positive ripples for years and decades to come.

I don’t know how much my kids will remember of all of this, or if they will cherish home grown foods or choose to plant a garden in their future lives, but I do know that they take so much pride in the veggies they are growing here today. They eat them willingly, proudly tasting the fruits of their labor, and I believe they have a deeper sense of wonder and appreciation for the earth and its fruits knowing the process that we go through, from seed to harvest. 

Living in tune with nature’s rhythms

When we start our seeds in the frigid April air of Connecticut or buy our tiny seedlings from local farms in May, we are committing with hope and joy to the cycles of the year; the long hot days are soon to come. 

And in August, when the cherry tomatoes are bursting with ripeness and we walk by and pop them in our mouths as we wander around the yard, it’s a reminder of the goodness of each season and of just how much the little things, simple and fleeting as they may seem, can truly mark and ground our lives. (Do you think we would appreciate juicy summer tomatoes the same way if every day was hot and tomato season was year round? I doubt it.) 

When we get a sudden, strong, mid-afternoon summer storm, I sigh happily knowing that nature is doing its watering (even if it means we have to get creative with our rainy day plans). There’s a bigger life cycle at work that we’re tapping into. There’s something to be said for living with these seasonal rhythms that remind us, a time for everything and everything in its time. 

This year, the four kids each had the chance to be responsible for designing and tending to one of the garden beds as we built. They enjoyed every aspect from moving soil, picking out seedlings from a local organic farm, and planting their selection of herbs, veggies and flowers. It was a process that kept us happily busy for long spring days, and now they burst with pride when picking veggies for dinner or showing yard guests the growth of their gardens. 

Keeping it simple

All these plants really need are good soil, sun, and plentiful water—sometimes rain, sometimes overzealous hose soaks from the kids, or a gentle sprinkler mist, mid-day, that helps punctuate our routines and outdoor time.

The garden welcomes whatever attention it gets, and these plants are hard-wired to thrive. The other day my daughter was having a tough moment and I told her that plants grow and do well when we sing to them. Now I’ll see her pausing in the middle of her play to sing a short song to them (or catch the dragon fly that always linger there) before she goes back to her games. 

It’s easy to over-complicate gardening, like anything in life. Or to focus on the results (I have a zucchini plant that is HUGE, but not producing fruit! Puzzling, but I’m going with it). Keeping our expectations for the garden project low has meant that we welcome and relish all the harvest we get, and we stay curious/learn from mishaps or things that don’t turn out as planned.

Creating Space

Turns out–we learned from our beginners’ eagerness the first year, you can definitely over-crowd a garden space, causing nothing to grow very well because each plant is competing for the key ingredients to a good life: sun, water, and soil nutrients. 

When I’m pruning my tomato plants, cutting back the stems and growth that, while pretty, will keep the plant from flourishing and producing fruit, I’m struck by the metaphor for our lives. I’ve distilled this metaphor/life lesson into a phrase that’s become a guiding principle of my life (and of my signature life design course): “create space”. In order for the good stuff to flourish (and even before we may fully see it coming to fruit), we have to diligently prune and make room in our lives so that the good fruit can make itself known.

Cultivating patience

As anyone who knows me well can attest, patience is not my strong suit. 

Sometimes my impatience leads to gardening catastrophe. Last year I had a great bunch of seeds germinating in my laundry room in trays, and I transplanted them just a wee bit too soon, before it was warm enough…they didn’t make it. 

Fortunately, I also have kids who help me grow in this virtue. Tending to little ones (plants or humans) requires ample amounts of patience. Like when I’m teaching my toddler to enjoy watching (not tugging or touching) the green tomatoes, growing in size in June and July, and reminding him to wait until they are perfectly red (or purple) before we pick.

How much more we appreciate and savor the long awaited veggie when it’s finally ripe and ready for the sauce-pan or the salad bowl. And how much more our patience reminds us of the value of what we’re anticipating.

Accepting the times of hidden growth, and of times of blossoming

This year, in our new space, I’ve been marveling at watching the growth up close, and with plot twists. With late frosts and a beach trip, we planted everything pretty late, and the first few weeks it felt like we might never see growth. Between little seedlings trying to survive the elements, some pebbles lovingly thrown at them, sporadic watering, and a child’s attempt to “weed” them, our plantings just couldn’t catch a break. And since this was a new garden plot we didn’t know if it would be the winning combo of sun, shade and distance from roving animals. 

But we kept doing all the steps, and trusting the process, more instinctively now, without knowing what kind of a bounty we would get.

Sure enough, after weeks of what felt like incremental growth came a week of heavy daily rains and an explosion of blooms, blossoms, fruits, and veggies just appearing, literally from day to day, before our eyes. 

Nothing can prepare you for that sudden shift from nothing to something, from barrenness to fruit, from hopefulness to gratitude. But like everything in life, we have to accept that there are patient, long, dry periods, followed by the beautiful blossoms, fruits of prayer and work and living, that make it all worthwhile, and cause us to marvel: “how could all this bounty have come from such a tiny (hopeful) starting point?” 

In the garden, as in life, it feels like a miracle, every time. We simply have to trust and stay present to the process as it unfolds. 

Garden rhythms, a slower life

I’m someone that thrives on rituals or daily rhythms. Loose enough (room for adjustments and spontaneity), but structured nonetheless. Moms’ lives can feel a bit chaotic at times, so I look for predictable elements that I can plug into and offer as guideposts to the kids, especially on these long summer days. 

Midday naps, morning work and chores, then afternoon simple outings, and predictable morning routines all work for me. Mornings are my best chance to fit in my necessary quiet, recharging moments like an early morning run or walk in nature—sneaking away to be alone with my thoughts.

The rituals of tending to a garden (water, weed, harvest), which I at first saw as yet another thing on the to-do list, has become embedded in how we do summer. When I turn on the hose for a midday garden watering, it often turns into sprinklers and water play. When I take the few minutes needed to weed a bit or harvest, I savor the long evening rays of the sun hitting the garden and their nearby swing, the kids play around me, or I help them harvest without destroying the plants in the process. The pre-dinner ritual is to plan our meal based on what’s ripe and ready to be eaten…and to grab the herbs, veggies and anything else we need to craft our meals.

We live a moment of gratitude for this gift of food growing right here, for our enjoyment.

It’s good to feel connected to the process and helpful to the growth of a garden, but not fully responsible. Like the “soul gardening” I’m doing with my littles. 

I can’t imagine summer without these garden rhythms, and I pray that the slower pace of life, and the new rhythms we’ve welcomed (often reluctantly) in 2020, sink deeply into all of us, helping pull us out of our modern busyness & hustle, and reminding us of just how much goodness and beauty lies in timeless rituals of cultivation, care-taking and living in tune with nature.

Posted on

Adventures in…homeschooling!

This time of coronavirus pandemic has meant that life has changed, overnight. Many of us are still unpacking what it all means, and working from the ground up to build new rhythms for our days. Suddenly, many of us are homeschooling our children (in the midst of our work and other obligations) and while it’s an abrupt shift, and has been challenging for many of us, I firmly believe that we will look back at this season, and see alot of good in it.

My own childhood history is that of homeschooling, for all of elementary and even for highschool. It was a blessing that I know shaped who I am tremendously, and while I know full well the inherent challenges of it, I have also been a first-hand beneficiary & recipient of so much of the best parts about homeschooling–the freedom, independence, forced habits of personal discipline and motivation, and the reminder that at the end of the day, we are all responsible for our own education. Learning seeds of this (in the right nurtured environment) early on, can shape the trajectory of a beautiful educational experience of a lifetime.

It’s one of those things that can look messy in real-time, in the process, but stepping back just a bit, it’s a beautiful thing. We all need to give ourselves grace and remember that our kids see us, doing our best, adjusting at a steep curve and learning alongside them all (those of us who haven’t been homeschooling)…and in the end, we’ll all look back and say–it wasn’t easy but we did it!

Love establishing our habit of prayer & journaling and learning about a virtue–combined with some read aloud as needed 😉

Here’s a few glimpses into our perfectly imperfect homeschooling life (of one full week), and a few thoughts & tips/tools that I hope may make it just a tiny bit easier and less stressful for you.

*Keeping our mindset on the bigger picture enables us to stay positive throughout–focusing on what we can accomplish each day with all the time we now have at home. I have to remain flexible while firm about a certain list of things getting done, but the order in which they happen may shift, and working on building habits of responsibility and self-direction/motivation in the kids as a top priority. We’re doing a combo of online & book learning, as many of you are, so it ends up being like “station rotation” at our house (like the girls were used to from school): 30 min with me at the dining table, working on specific worksheets/assignments, then a small break for a chore or quick play in the yard, or 30 minutes of free reading, they can sneak off to a comfy spot in the house (quiet and away from little brothers)…before coming back for a 30 minute session in their google classroom in the office, or playing math games on this fun site called www.abcya.com (believe me, it makes me very happy to see how much joy they get out of “fraction monsters”–the bigger fraction eating the smaller one–and it’s entertaining 3 of them (oldest sis gets a mini audience for part of it).

Their simple joy about choosing and planting seeds is contagious. Daily #actsofhope during this time.

*Keeping things light and positive is definitely the name of the game to keep my own stress levels down, and to keep us powering through our day. I’ve chosen to offer rotating “specials” classes, just like they had at school. They get a kick out of this–with science class being planting seeds last week (an ultimate #actofhope in these dark times–that better, brighter days are coming)…and art class, cooking class and PE were we’ll be learning more about certain sports. Having it feel novel and fun (with short segments of focus) is what’s working for us.

Field studies at a local park: nature walk & beach/stream play.

*Here’s a great checklist that has basically taken all the stress out of having to keep them reminded of what they need to do. I detail out all the things we need to have them do in a given day, and establish a simple reward for each week (it’s been a new craft), and they eagerly refer to them often and remind me of what needs to get done. This takes the fighting out of any particular moment when I ask them to do it–I just refer to the chart. And vice versa, I don’t have to control too tightly the order in which things happen: I let them dictate that, so long as it all gets done over the course of the day. It’s really been a life saver and I even established a small checklist for myself to ensure I hit my own daily self-care and personal goals along with the work and family commitments we all feel. With so many big things out of our control, it’s so nice to feel that this one thing–our rhythm, our daily work and commitments, can be checked off a list and represents a day intentionally lived.

*Talk about it all. I have been checking in with them frequently to see how they are feeling about things–if they feel they are getting enough support, if assignments feel easy, hard, at the end of each day how they feel it went–their “highs and lows” (we love this great book to make it a family dinner affair) and of course, talking in general terms about how we’re all handling this crisis. This is an important moment, these little beautiful people are processing a huge life change alongside us, and I want to honor and respect that. For one of mine, it’s also meant some face-timing with her classmates to fill the social hole she feels missing. We all have to take the approach that we’re figuring this out one day at a time, and I think involving the kids in that, so they know they are agents of their new life, is hugely helpful.

I have to admit: when we designed this space a few months back, I thought to myself it would be perfect for homeschool moments…

*Tidying breaks. This is a major lesson learned–if we let the normal messes of schooling build up, it gets to my peace. I love a mid-morning and lunch time quick tidy that everyone can be involved in; and more than ever this is when our spaces need to be well organized with easy access to materials, and a beautiful, calm and productive environment for them to learn. Grateful that we’re able to tailor our new spaces and just test out how things flow best regarding which classes or activities for schooling take place where. Just like in their classrooms, kids love it when we mix it up, and they also respond well to order.

*Regarding schedule–what works for us is some flexibility and grace (spoken as a mom of 4, with lots of moving parts and little needs from everyone)…I don’t sweat if we don’t get everything done before lunch; there are plenty of other moments in the day and afternoon, but I DO emphasize down-time/quiet time during Blaise’s nap–and I will often get my own work done then, or focus in with the older girls, and I make sure that we all MOVE every day—that hasn’t been too hard as they just run out the door any moment they get when it’s sunny. When it’s rainy, we’ll pull out the yoga mats and do some good ol’ mindful movement. Walking/riding bikes in the neighborhood helps all of our moods, and I’ve tried to keep a steady flow of slightly new crafts/coloring pages, and art materials flowing in, so they are always eager to use. Again, we’re only 1 week in, but I know Michaels and other places are having fantastic online sales, and we can get alot of great stuff delivered that can help make this all as bright & fun as possible.

(More on working from home tips in this post….)

Yard creativity & recess.

I know that at the end of each day, I want them to know that we learned together, we did our very best, and we were kind and positive to each other. That we listened well, and grew together. It’s challenging me in all the right ways, and stretching my momma heart (with so much pride, especially, for how resilient they can be) and I am very grateful for the hidden blessings and lessons of a challenging time.

Posted on

5 tips for working from home

Working from home can present its own set of challenges, We idealize it as–unlimited delicious homemade coffee, and pajamas until 12–or later. Sometimes, It’s not like that at all. It might look like–distracting yourself with housework when you are avoiding work for a deadline, or having small children making messes or pulling on your leg while you’re trying to sit at a computer and answer emails. The time-sucks and lack of motivation can just start to overwhelm us. We often aren’t sure how to get re-focused, re-inspired, and to set up a set of routines that can put us into FLOW with our work. So we experience the benefits of flexible work, and fewer of the downsides.

And first of all, I want to pause for a moment to acknowledge what a blessing it is, in this moment in time, to have work opportunities available to us that we can do from home, in the middle of this enormous crisis. We do not take that for granted for an instant.

I’ve had a lot of experience over 7 years of working flexibly, of how to manage my time working from home, expectations of what I’ll accomplish, and daily re-inspiring and motivating myself to chip away at work goals, to-do lists, bringing joy and a sense of fulfillment to each moment of the day (or many, at least).

Let’s start with these 5 tips, and see how you can boost your mindset around working from home, or just develop some new strategies.

  1. Adjust expectations–to fit your reality.
  2. Set up your work space to optimize joy, focus and productivity.
  3. Time management & blocking: give yourself things to look forward to your breaks each hour.
  4. Set a schedule you can stick to (even while enjoying flexibility).
  5. Focus on the big picture.

1) Adjust expectations–to fit your reality.

I’ve learned the hard way that a long to-do list and a working from home lifestyle can sometimes frustrate you (and others). Of course, you can have productive pockets of time, but you also need to manage expectations (your own, and other peoples’) about what you’ll accomplish. For me, that starts with having a top 3 list in my planner–the 3 most important things that need to be done, and tackling those first, so that anything else that’s on the list, or “extra” is gravy. Help others understand your realities–try to under-promise and over-deliver. I’m often very clear with those I’m in communication with: this particular task will happen at this time of day (during a toddler nap) and not before, so that the expectations are clear, and you’re not always scrambling to re-adjust.

2) Set up your work space to optimize joy, focus and productivity.

This is your chance to create your ideal environment, and to add to your productivity and enjoyment of your work. Choose a beautiful, quiet, well-lit & decorated spot and set it up to be a place that brings you joy as you approach. Along with this, set up rituals in your day that help trigger your brain to look forward to focusing in–that could be a simple as a delicious cup of pour-over, or a steaming mug of tea, a great soundtrack, and more. Even better if you’ve been able to do a quick 20 min walk or yoga session to get blood flowing to your brain! These are proven methods that highly successful folks use daily to power up their focus, and you can do them at home with even more control of your environment than at the office.

Home office inspo: Via Serena & Lily

3) Time management & blocking: give yourself things to look forward to in your breaks each hour.

Similarly to your office environment, you have even more control over your focused work times–when they occur and why. You can take quizzes that help you determine what time of day you’re most productive, and you can tailor your calendar and work day around that. For example if mid morning is your peak productivity, avoid letting mtgs be scheduled then, or calls, and try to do your deeper work/content creation, etc then.

Brendon Burchard–in his book High Performance Habits, and elsewhere–talks about how the ideal window for peak productivity is to work in 50 min chunks (on a single task or set of related tasks) and then take a 10 min break, to totally reset your brain. This fits well with my experience (if you’re a mom, you might be thrilled with 30 min chunks while kids are occupied), and the point is that during the hourly breaks, you move around, stretch, get a different perspective, maybe do a small chore, household project or email check/communication moment, and then dive back into another focused block. Try this out in different intervals and see what works. You’ll be amazed what happens when you close a few browsers, stop checking email and social media on your phone, and just focus in on something for 45-50 min. Magical things can occur. I love having a small thing I’m committed to doing during my “breaks” whether it’s reading to a kid, having a snack or stretching series, or even tidying so that my environment stays the way I like it. You’ll get into a good rhythm that works for you.

4) Set a schedule you can stick to (even while enjoying flexibility).

I enjoy the freedom of a whole day of working from home (while mothering) but we all benefit from a bit of structure as well (the #1 reasons why bosses are wary of people working from home). So I suggest that based on the things you understand about your productive pockets, the overall schedule off the day, related to school schedule, or anything else, you craft some daily rhythms that help you stay on course. If you know you’ll always start your day with a block of email and communication, followed by your biggest project of the day (the meat of what you need to accomplish); I like to plan calls and zooms with clients/partners/collaborators for 12 or later, so I know that the first part of the day has been my own to really make things happen with. Later in the afternoon, I’ll come back to my computer for tying up loose ends, or communicating with folks about deliverables for the following day or scheduling out items for later in the week; it all depends on the work you do, but you’ll benefit from having a clear sense of what each part of the day holds. Plan your day with a loose structure that works, or your day will just simply slip away from you. Additionally, I always schedule things like down time, or exercise or self-care moments into my planner along side my work. That way I know I’m taking them equally seriously, so I can be at my best for the moments I’m in work mode

5) Focus on the big-picture.

On any given day, some of the challenges of juggling work while doing laundry, managing kids, seeing dishes in the sink or any number of other small work from home annoyances can get you feeling deflated. But keep a big picture perspective in mind. Having more control of your schedule and work does give you more joy & fulfillment in the long run, and also allows you to be more productive (less water cooler time or random interruptions from “drive by” coworkers)…plus, look at all that time you’re not spending exhausting yourself in a car or on public transportation. Even just getting back 30 min each way from commuting is 5 hours per week–that you can use to explore a new hobby, go on runs, or read, or be with your family more. Focusing on the big picture brings gratitude and the right perspective for the challenging moments.

Final note (may have learned this the hard way ;)): you’re happier if you set good boundaries about not working during the hours you want to be with family, doing other things, etc. Working from home does not equal working all the time, as many in our workaholic culture want to assume. You’re better off if you keep yourself disciplined with your “on” hours, and your “off ” hours, and your work and life will benefit greatly.

Silk blouse on top, for video meetings & podcasts, yoga pants on the bottom…

Cheers to working from home–with all the blessings and challenges…

it’s a great life indeed.

x ~maddy

Some fantastic reads related to these topics:

Feel like you need an accountability buddy or coach/cheerleader when establishing your work from home habits, whether working for yourself or someone else? Reach out and we can discuss my coaching packages, tailored to fit every need & budget & goal.

Posted on

Some reflections on health & self-care habits for the new decade.

I’m resurfacing and returning to blogging in this humble corner of the web, after a whirlwind fall 2019 into Jan 2020. We were doing a big renovation of an old home, and moved the family in right before Christmas. With this season of life, many things were put aside and the essentials came into clear focus. It helped to further frame some of my thoughts and experiences around healthy living, self-care, staying balanced even while being quite busy, and my mantra “radical self care for radical service” which I developed in the midst of trying to keep my sense of self, my achievements and balance in the midst of a busy season of motherhood. This phrase has resonated with many–we can sometimes struggle with feeling like self-care is actually selfish. And don’t get me wrong, it can be. Our cultural extremes of prioritizing expensive yoga weekends away in Costa Rica, massages, weekly manicures, and much more (gym memberships we hardly use) all justified by “self-care”. But in these busy seasons of life that we all experience, we can know all too well that without proper healthy habits, we can burn-out, or start being miserable, losing connection with the joy of the everyday, and our bigger purpose. I already faced that exact challenge (9 years ago, as a new mom, and pushing myself in a demanding career/work environment…it all fell apart, and took months of self-exploration to discover where things went wrong with my inability to have healthy boundaries and personal habits for effectiveness) That’s what led me to where I am now…a health & mindset coach. Sometimes our biggest challenges turn into our biggest blessings.

So for me, especially last year–when life demanded much of me, in the form of 4 small children (a brand new babe), running a business, launching new offerings, and renovating a home and moving the family–it became even more crystal clear to me–in the moments when life demands much of us; we need to work hard to BE at our best, so we can rise to the occasion.

And sometimes, those habits have to be streamlined to fit into the smallest margins of the day–not less important, just less time given to them.

In an era where we are increasingly sitting, often at desks, or hunched over a glowing screen, I believe that daily mindful/functional movement, and time outside, as well as consciously unplugged, away from our phones, is a crucial form of self-care, as well as a means to preserve our sanity and our mental and physical health. I am a big proponent (need to go back to this habit) of unplugged weekends, and mini 7 day screen detoxes…to keep ourselves free from the unhealthy patterns and behaviors related to it. We all know we need that space to be our most creative, alive, thoughtful, and focused.

I didn’t do a single gym workout btwn Sept-Dec, but I did manage to squeeze in regular walks with the boys–from our new home site, to local Church, and walking naps for them. Regular walks are so good for my mental health as well. I didn’t spend alot of time developing new recipes, or all those things my health coach self normally loves to do, but I (we) did eat well, to fuel ourselves for a busy season, and meal planned/prepped, batch cooked so that we wouldn’t get swallowed up by eating on a crazy schedule. We also learned to not sweat the small stuff as much, to give things up temporarily, knowing that things would re-balance and come into a new, better normal in our new lifestyle. Sometimes that perspective and mindset shift is all we need, and the most important thing to let go of is…expectations, and guilt!

I’ve spent 2 years resetting my own mindset to be around “intuitive eating” vs a restrictive/obsessive focus on “clean” eating. With so many ways of eating “healthy” out there, it can truly begin to take too much of our mental space. Clean eating is a means to an end, not an end in itself. During our busy project, we ate our fair share of meals grabbed on the go, take out (not Mcdonalds of course) etc while wrapped up with the home–BUT, having the baseline of self-care, resilience habits and tools built in, it meant that I didn’t go into overboard burn-out mode, like the me of a few years ago might have. I knew the demanding days required a strong balancing act, so I focused in on those few (simple, quick, affordable) self-care habits that work well for me. When you zero in on what those are, then you don’t have to worry as much about what the busy seasons of life will do. You know, that at your core, your priorities, values and habits can remain the same. And that you’ll be able to take in new things, and adjust/shift/offload (I said NO to quite a few normal commitments), and then re-evaluate and continue on as life evolves.

This was the opportunity to test all of what I’d been experimenting with, and I found that the exploration I had into mindful movement, intuitive eating and a “less is more” mentality regarding focus on exercise and health (yes, this coming from a coach!) served me VERY well in a season when absolutely every day, I needed to be functioning at my best. And don’t get me wrong, when you have a little one under 1, sleep is often the sacrificed element, and that can be hard, and wear on us, but we can also be strategic about the habits of REST that we build into each day.

Needless to say, at the start of this new decade, I’m completely in awe of the experiences of the past years, the lessons learned and where they’ve lead me. I hope to share bits of it, in case any of it is valuable. I know alll too well the familiar burn-out that is sadly quite common in our go-go-go culture. It can sneak in to our life without us realizing it, and it can steal our daily and deep joy.

I encourage you to consider–what are the daily tools and habits that are most important to you, to be at your best? What are the areas you’ve been ignoring or need to give attention to for a more balanced life? It might even be habits related to mental and emotional health, which cannot be neglected, just like our nutrition can’t be ignored without consequences…

It’s good to step out of the cliches of self-care, and do a deep personal examination. For one person–the loud cross fit gym is the perfect place to discipline themselves and build health, for another person, it’s quiet hikes in nature, alone. For one of us, it might be regular pedicures, and for another person, it might be more crucial for self-care to get time in prayer, or visiting with dear friends, or for a mom, to stroll through the grocery store alone can be the ultimate perspective/life giving habit…it’s all about being deeply AWARE of where you’re energized, where you’re drained, what habits will be a part of building you towards your larger, more long-term goals and desires. We explore all of this in my life design course, and it’s powerful, crucial stuff.

As I’m reminded by my dear husband, it isn’t good to idolize health, or to prioritize focusing on it, over other goods. BUT, it’s also true that a baseline of health–physical, mental, emotional, is crucial and needed for any service and good we hope to do in the world, in our families and communities. Otherwise we’ll end up causing more harm than good to ourselves and our endeavors, without a proper perspective and balance. Radical self-care for radical service is my choice, and how I want to live and model for my children to live.

What about YOU? How are your habits in this new decade, reflecting the sense of what you believe you’re called to accomplish in the coming months and years?!

And, just to get you started, here’s a few of my favorite weekly/daily self-care moments that help me. You’re going to create your own…just don’t be afraid to experiment and fight hard to make them part of your reality!

*Daily journaling/reading/praying in the am

*Pom Energy tea and chia seeds (I don’t drink caffeinated coffee, just tea or decaf)–this is my “secret energy drink” especially when mixed with the natural electrolytes.

*Daily vitalizer strip–my baseline of powerful nutrition that gives me fantastic energy & helps with sleep, digestion, and much more.

*Walks, several times per week, 1-3 miles, usually with kiddos. Time outdoors is soo important for our mental and physical health, even in the winter months.

*Easy salad mixes or shakes with collagen for lunch–making sure I don’t skip that meal.

*Healthy snacks in home and car, so I can reach for them quickly (trail mix, bars, etc).

*Once a week, out of the house, with no kids–time to breathe, read, think, maybe work a little, or just re-calibrate.

(If you don’t have kids, it might just be helpful, setting aside time each week to give yourself permission to explore new hobbies or interests, away from the pressures of your to-do list or job.)

*Stretching & simple yoga sequences, just reminders to reconnect with my body, breathing. Feeling where things feel stuck, releasing. Being grounded & grateful for the gift of a healthy body.

*Evening rituals: gratitude journal, epsom salt baths, cal mag supps, sometimes reading, bullet proof hot cocoa for good, restful sleep.

I can’t wait to hear what daily habits you’re creating in this new decade, to power you towards new dreams and goals!

Posted on

A new approach to postpartum fitness, and a postpartum stretching guide.

This time around…my 4th postpartum…my motto for building back to fitness habits and feeling great–has been…”less is more”. Now, let me start with saying that for me, postpartum fitness secret #1 is—stay fit in pregnancy…it’s just so much easier to jump back in and your body responds so well if it’s a habit that was built over that time…rather than taking a break for all of pregnancy (if possible!)…of course the other secret is, mindful movement—it’s more likely to be long walks and playing with my kids or stretching on my porch rather than rushing to hit the gym machines. Functional movement is so good for us, when healthy flexibility, energy and mood is the goal.

So what’s your INTENTION for postpartum fitness? Let’s start there. It can’t be just to fit into a certain pair of pants, that just won’t feed us in the way that another motivation will. Some of us have been there, done that, and it’s a vicious cycle, when the focus is meant to be on nourishment, feeling energized and alive, nourishing our babies, and just enjoying this special season, even as you work to get to a weight that’s the healthiest for you.

I have alot of thoughts on healthy weight loss in PP…if you’re struggling in this area and want to connect–message me. And check out my body image bonus videos in the series below!

We want to be approaching postpartum fitness from a perspective of self-acceptance and honoring our bodies for what they’ve accomplished in bringing these children into the world. They are beautiful beyond measure.

And with my experience…3 very different postpartums before this, but often a common denominator of, even with a good focus on nutrition and supporting myself, still pushing myself and my body before I was really ready…this time has been easy…restful, slow (for me), and while I have hit some fun targets–prepping for and running a 7 mile race at 3 months PP (yay!), I haven’t been pushing myself on a daily basis or doing intense workouts. Instead, if given the choice between a nap and a run, I’m likely to choose the nap. And some miraculous days, I get both 😉

Well, in response to what I hear alot from moms in postpartum when I work with them—it’s hard to come to terms with these bodies–we want to love them, but sometimes they are unrecognizable to us, and their changes are causing us to wonder if life will ever be the same as “before”. Here’s a hint–it won’t. BUT, you deserve to be stronger, fitter, more energized and feel better than ever. Seriously. That’s been my experience in PP and it can be yours. So much of it starts with nutrition, hormone balancing, rest, resetting the nervous system, establishing patterns and structures of self-care and mental breaks that allow us to do the mothering well, when it can feel all-consuming.

Of course, you know about some of my favorite postpartum nutrition tools…you can find more about those here.

I decided to focus on a baseline of stretching, this time around. I knew I wanted to do a strong core recovery, after dealing with and reversing DR after my 3rd pp (thanks Every Mother!). I’m a big yoga fanatic, but even the standard flows can be too taxing in early postpartum. So this series is meant to be the most gentle, mindful movement possible, targeting the low back, hip flexors, shoulders, and all the areas that get tight and get used so much in daily motherhood. Pelvic mobility and gentle core awakening are the key for a great recovery, so I wanted to start there.

I hope this benefits other mommas as a habit, as it has me, and I wanted to also explore the important topic of postpartum body image, and share some reflections, both from my own experiences, and from the amazing moms I work with and coach. This is a bonus section of the video series.

If you’re not a mom but you know someone who would benefit from this—please share!

*You can also get 15% off the Every Mother early reclaim program I mentioned above, through this link, and entering MPIDEL15 when registering.

Downloadable e-guide & live video series available.

Cheers, friends. Life is meant to be lived to the full, with intention, as the best versions of ourselves. Yes, even in motherhood 😉 Our babies deserve it too, and these are days and moments we want to look back on with the most joy.

https://vimeo.com/341464300
Posted on

Top tools for an intentional and thriving start to 2019!

This is my absolute favorite time of year. I love the energy of New Years, a fresh start, new perspective on our lives, and the ability to hit the reset button and embrace change. Ever since I was a little girl, I was fascinated with new years concepts. I used to sit on NYE (as young as 8/9 years old) and write down my planned themes/virtues to work on in each of the upcoming months…and made up a game for my family called “New Years Eve puzzlers” that I roped them all into–and it had questions like–“what did you like most about the previous year”, and “what are you looking forward to about the coming year” and while for many of those years it was a bit of a joke, and we laughed alot as family members made it silly; the themes stayed consistent with my entry into a career as a coach. I just love the concepts of personal transformation, and the idea that we can, with the right intention, introspection and support, truly make big changes each and every year, and grow in the ways that matter most, related to what we’re called to be and do in the world in a larger way.

Now, heading into 2019, I’m very excited to launch my Life by Design/Fulfillment in 5 course in the coming weeks, which you’ve all been helping to shape and bring to reality—one of my very own big dreams and projects (like this blog) that wouldn’t exist without the confidence that we’re meant to be moving forward, continually, in love, greater service, and seeking to use our little methods of communication and impact to make a difference in the world. I’m also so grateful that even as I prepare to have a baby and give myself space to focus on and care for him and my family–with the help of some amazing blog collaborators (guest bloggers) and partners, the amazing technology tools we have, and more, that we’ll be able to really cheer each other on in the coming weeks, continue expanding our serving and offerings, and to support all of your big and small transformations that are right around the corner.

And for you–I know you have those big dreams, projects, and desires on your heart–starting perhaps with just embracing a new level of health or organization, or taking on new habits that will serve you for the months to come. Something I love to do is to pick themes for the year (that are over-arching over the goals, and connect the dots so to speak) and I also love having a word of the year–either generated through this fun site, or discerned and chosen through journaling.

I was eager to pull together this list of some of my favorite tools and health packages to get us all off on the right foot. It’s my favorite thing in the world to see my clients, family and friends make great strides in feeling better, doing better, and increasing their inspirational impact in the world. Thanks for joining in with us, and share which of these tools you’re most excited about bringing with you into 2019!!!

As promised–I am now sharing my 3 themes prayed about and decided for 2019. They are Intention, Integration, and Impact. And the word of the year that I got from the word generator was FAMILY…totally embracing it in this coming chapter.

I hope to do a January blog post to flesh these out as I begin living them more fully, and in the meantime, share with me what themes and words of the year are coming up for you!

Top 10 Tools for a Thriving New Year (across all areas of life)

1.A great planner that helps you be intentional, focused, and clear-headed. I love the desire map planner by Danielle LaPorte, I’ve been using it for 4 years and it ties well with intentions over goals. Others that I think are good based on input from trusted friends are the new Monk Manual or the Blessed is She planner.

2. Meal Planning & shopping notepad. I’ve been using this one weekly for over a year and love how it streamlines our weeks, makes shopping strategic, and save us time and money. The key is for it to be something you enjoy looking at and using. You can also check out the fun meal plan downloads being offered with our Jan cleanse kits (4 weeks free meal plans valued at $21). This is such a game changer for so many busy people and families. Embrace it!

3) Need extra motivation to get back to the gym or back to working out? Some new, fun athletic wear certainly helps. I love Athleta (they have great sales going on now), New Balance for J. crew were some of my fav picks last Jan, and pro tip–you can find amazing Lulemon pieces and other great brands (sometimes Albion!)on Thredup for a fraction of their original price–eco-friendly and sustainable shopping! The link above gets you $10 off your first order, and currently 20% off using code CHOOSEUSED. Happy upgrading and getting your sweat on!!

4) Speaking of sweat, how about this great athlete’s package for the new year? Some of my favorite products are in here–a natural (powerful!) electrolyte drink that is low-glycemic and used by olympians…a super charged recovery shake, my favorite deep sleep aid/muscle recovery tool, and a quick energy boost for pre-workout–this is a must-have for the aspiring or experienced athlete. Last year I had so much fun watching a few running friends run some PRs and have an amazing season with these tools, along with some cross-fitters who swear by these. Try ’em out for support in reaching your 2019 fitness goals!

5) For a true fresh start with de-cluttering and organization: look no further than 5 week fulfillment/life design course that’s launching soon!

6) Healthy Cleanse kit. This is a no-brainer for anyone ready to lighten up, clear their mind, sleep better, change your cravings after the holidays (from sugar back to the good stuff!) and to reset your metabolism and get you back to your best self. Your energy levels will sky rocket, and you’ll be texting me (perhaps, it happens alot) deep cleaning your house at midnight saying “what is all this energy?”–yep, it’s that good. And we offer tons of support, recipes, and more to accompany it. Use it with the healthy weight and cleanse kit if you want to dive in and jump-start a more serious weight loss/lifestyle upgrade (remember, diet is truly a 4 letter word). Cheers, and see you in our cleanse communities on FB!

7) Foundational energy boost. The strip and shake are the exact daily health tools that I’ve been relying on to be at my best, with high energy, mood, focus and great sleep, for over 6 years. My husband and I can’t imagine life without these daily tools, and we love how many of our friends, clients and family use them too. If you’re looking to improve your health with just a few simple daily changes–start here for a personalized approach to your best 2019. So excited for your energized new year!

8) Are you looking to learn how to visualize and manifest more of the good stuff in your life in 2019? I have to say this incredible, funny, irreverent manifesting guide from Denise Duffield Thomas has helped me SO much, I come back to it often as a play-book for upgrading my mindset and lifestyle following some easy but powerful steps. Check it out, it just might be what you’re looking for to jumpstart a 2019 that’s filled to the brim with the good stuff! Keep an eye out for my upcoming post on creating a vision board for 2019-she mentions them here and I’ll go into all the fun details on how I use these as a more powerful framework for traditional new years goals. Super fun to do with friends, too.

9) A beautiful new journal. If you adopt only 1 other daily habit in 2019 (besides exercising, and your strip and shake ;)), this might just be the one to embrace. Journaling is proven to reduce stress, improve immune function, lead to better emotional habits, and boost memory and mood. Sounds like an all-around winner! And be sure to carve out a fun corner in the house to create and solidify the ritual–I always do mine with morning tea and prayer time, in the same cozy spot. I always find fun journals at Anthro, here are a few of my current favs—some on sale! And if you have kids and want to help them get started on this great habit, we’ve been loving the 5 min journal for kids for Emma–she really enjoys it.

Free scour off (natural oven and deep cleaner made of cherry pits, avocado and sand! LOVE IT!)

10) Committed to a greener lifestyle in 2019? And loving your space in new ways now that you’ve de-cluttered? Start your deep January cleaning spree with these amazing non-toxic cleaners–literally allowing you to toss all the chemicals and junk that makes you dread cleaning and perhaps even gives you a headache (or is “natural” but doesn’t work!) Clear homes, clear heads, beautiful spotless counters. Pair with your favorite essential oils scents for the ultimate natural clean. Bring on a sparkling 2019!

Thanks for letting me share a few of the things that I love to have at hand when welcoming a fresh start and a full reset—and to help my coaching clients embrace as we start out on our best new year. Truly, we know that thriving is within reach in 2019–and it’s ours to claim it, and make this coming year the best year yet. Let me know which of these you get inspired by and can’t wait to connect with you more in the coming weeks for more fun new years inspiration and life design!

Posted on

Themes of 2018: How These Three Key Ideas Have Shaped Our Year as a Family

This past January, the very beginning of 2018, I was encouraged by one of my wise mentors to look at 2-3 themes or intentions for the year ahead. These would be key words or phrases that tied into my vision board and that would guide my approach to the new year and to the monthly or 90 day action plans and goals that I might set. I think we both knew that an overarching theme would help make my short-term goals more meaningful.

I wanted to pause and reflect on how these themes played out for us this year and to share this concept with all of you in case it’s a valuable one for looking at 2019, which is right around the corner.

This quote has come to capture so well what I feel convicted to live, and to encourage others in.

I know for me, sometimes looking at a new year, and aiming to set goals can feel intimidating. We know life can change so much, take unexpected turns, in life, job, career, family, and we want to make sure that our goals will be in line with the big picture vision even as it may change in detail.

I hear this from many folks I work with, that it’s much easier to set monthly or 90 day goals, and harder when it comes to longer stretches of time, like a full year. But, at the same time, the power of a new year is just that—imagining how different life can be a year from now, and embracing the love for that progress and transformation that we’re ready to experience.

For me, setting up themes for 2018 that applied throughout the year helped bridge the gap between the future I imagine and the reality of my more short-term goals. It’s also allowed me to smile and sometimes even laugh out loud at God’s sense of humor.

So, without further ado, here are my three key themes for 2018 and some musings on how these themes played out in my life and in our life as a family in the last year.

Theme 1: CREATE SPACE

The first theme I focused in on this year was to CREATE SPACE. This is a phrase I use a lot, in my business, coaching and general approach to life. I find that when we declutter our spaces, schedules, lives, we allow room for the GOOD stuff. You know, the moments we want to remember for a long time.

I’ve spent years glorifying the hustle (a remnant of my Brooklyn lovin’, NYC bustlin days)… even with several kids in tow, and a few things have helped me shift away from worshiping being busy (or hiding behind my busyness as an excuse for why my bigger dreams and life goals weren’t getting tackled).

One of them reaching a point of frustration with the pace, and realizing it wasn’t allowing me to fully enjoy each day and the little moments with the kids, that can be packed with meaning. Another avenue for mindset change was a book called “Chasing Slow”—and the other one was a book called “The Best Yes,” which is about the beautiful grace of saying no, to the things in life that we can feel pressured to do or take on, so that we have the energy, mental focus and ability to say YES and be all in on the things that we truly value or feel called to do. These books, as well as our intentional family move 18 months ago to the country for a naturally slower pace of life, and embracing this with my children—and seeing how they like to live their best days—it’s all led me to the conviction that we need to work hard—in our social media driven, commercial, NOISY world, to carve out that beautiful space in which to live meaningful days, with lots of intention, connection to the small (and big) tasks. It takes real effort, and is so worthwhile.

For 2018, there were plenty of things I said no to, especially in the early parts of the year…when I was feeling called to a deeper rest, a deeper, more peaceful family life, and new rhythms, that helped us finally get the hang of the 3 kids thing, and to all thrive. It also looked like carving out time in the spring to train for a half marathon, to launch the girls to the end of an amazing first year in their new school, and then to welcome baby #4, right at a time when we were heading into a summer of slower rhythms and beautiful days with nature as a forefront focus—-lazy days at our local lake beach, long days in the backyard, the kids enjoying stretching themselves in all the ways they know how.

Creating space to welcome a new life into our family, and to continue having a flow and rhythms that work well into the fall, has been such a blessing. Yes, it’s hard to fight the pressure at times, for more extracurriculars, more volunteer things (that I love), or more errands (ok, not hard to fight those off!), but my heart was craving LESS, along with the 2nd theme, so that’s been our work.

I think that we’ll learn these lessons all over again when we welcome another babe in January 2019 and zero in on just the most simplified and beautiful rhythms to support and nourish the family during that season that’s coming up. I know I don’t want to miss the important moments, and CREATING SPACE started as an exploratory theme for the year, and is now the baseline for a full life by design course that I’m launching for all of us to work through in early 2019.

Theme 2: CONTENTMENT

The second theme for 2019, CONTENTMENT.

This one is hard for someone like me. I’m a thinker-ahead—focus on the future, often itching for the next thing…sometimes living in the future at the expense of the present. This has had it’s advantages for me, but as a mother, it too often creates a pull that disquiets me. I felt in prayer and in chats with my husband, Joel, that I needed to really embrace this theme and nurture more contentment. With a business that can always demand more, and with family life and motherhood always able to tempt me to MORE…I wanted to be able to wake up each day, and say—it’s ENOUGH. What I’m doing today, what we’ll get done, where we’ll go, how we’re living, with simplicity and focus on our family values, it’s ENOUGH.

How many of us know our hearts need this! I had a few books that were helping in this regard—and one of them has a title some of you may laugh at. It’s called “Happy Are You Poor”…and my dear husband recommended it to me as we had these conversations about being content with the present moment, and what we have, rather than staying in a striving mode. It’s a reminder that more of worldly things is not what makes our hearts either at peace, or brought to their full fulfillment. It’s a good wake up call, and reminder. Another fantastic read for me was the 8 doors of the kingdom, meditations on the beatitudes, reminding us that detachment and focus on other than earthly things are what sets our hearts at peace. The books mentioned above (“Chasing Slow”) was also helpful in this regard.

And truly, some days in the summer, as I looked around at our slow, peaceful rhythms, and as I focused on not desiring things, not shopping online, not scrambling for business goals, more followers, more extracurriculars, more, more more, I found that I was happier. And this happiness brought more clarity to me–of what I was truly seeking when making goals or plans. I think this one needs to carry through for me into this coming baby season as well. Getting away from measuring worth, accomplishment, or my treasure in the wrong places.

And I found that in my contentment, my relationships and my impact could be more real and less forced. It’s so important for gratitude to be the baseline of our lives, that they can be fully rich. I journal daily (this habit has fully clicked back in this year), and the themes of knowing what I HAVE, and how good it really is, helps balance out my approach to growth, in various areas of life or work.

Theme 3: COMMUNITY

The final theme for 2018 was COMMUNITY. We were 6 months into a new home, new school, and new area when the new year hit, and I knew we were called to dive in and both foster community where we’re landed, as well as reach out in faith and form new bonds of community across miles, where appropriate.

In Jan of this year, we launched a postpartum community that has become a beautiful group of women and friends that I value deeply. We cheer each other on, listen to challenges, and encourage in the most fragile and important stages of healing, growing, and thriving after a birth. I am so grateful for how it’s blossomed and developed–especially as I prepare for another postpartum. Additionally, we’ve formed a few other important communities around different topics—business related, beautifully growing the influencers reading group I love dearly, and some communities on healthy motherhood and kids.

Then in our day to day lives, on the ground, we were able to dive more fully into the school community we’re blessed to be a part of, and to have real, deep friendships begin to take root—both among the kids, and with the parents. Which led us to beautiful summer nights up LATE under the stars, sharing wine and laughter with amazing new friends, who we now can’t imagine life without. Or beach days lingering into dusk, with the kids playing sand soccer, and celebrating life and sunshine with good people.

These are my 3 themes for 2018—I’m still marveling at how real and relevant they continued to be for me, even as my monthly goals, task lists, and details of life shifted.

For 2019…well, I have some that I’m close to committing to, but I’ll probably save them for another new year’s post.

I’d love to hear from you—do you explore themes and intentions as you kick off a new year? Will you explore themes and intentions as part of welcoming 2019? It’s fun if they start with the same letter, but not necessary, of course 😉 If you have any experiences to share about thinking in themes for seasons of life, I’d love to hear about it!

If you’re interested in trying this for the year 2019, I recommend just spending some time journaling, talking to those you trust, and seeing what comes up for you! You might be surprised at how quickly your heart and mind land on the themes you need to embrace for peace and growth in the coming year.

A super fun word of the year generator can provide additional inspiration and hilarity (while it’s random, it seemed uncannily relevant from all the folks we did it with last year). My word of 2018 that was generated for me was BALANCE. I can’t say I have it fully figured out, but I’m worlds more balanced in many aspects of life than I felt a year ago, at the holidays.

So here’s to a fresh start, a new perspective, a new way to approach new years.

Much love and thank you for being part of this blogging journey in 2018. I had no idea where it would lead and I’m just having a blast as we continue onward and upward!

Posted on

Life Lessons from My Kids, 2018 Edition

I wrote a similar post a year ago, and when I sat to write this, I enjoyed going back to it, remembering them (how little they seem now) and that special phase, that still somewhat felt like a blur, since we were still settling in after a big move—entering a new school and community, finding good rhythms in our new place we call home. 

Some things I remember now (from that time)–Ambrose just under 1 and he was still waking a lot at night to feed, my brain and nervous system still felt in that postpartum fog a bit (any other mommas out there relate?)…and the girls were just young and BUSY. Not a bad thing, I just remember being wiped out each and every day, and welcoming my babysitter breaks and realizing I needed to uplevel my self-care game and my mental and home management habits & flow so that I wouldn’t feel on the edge so often, but could rather enjoy it more!

I began looking into ways to rest/reset more deeply and effectively (discovered reflexology , healed my adrenals during this time, so huge), and some exploring of new habits that led to many new, better rhythms for myself and our family by the spring. This deserves another post–coming soon…  

Well, if you’d told me at that moment–that this time next year we’d be happily prepping to welcome #4, I would have said you were CRAZY:)

It wasn’t until the spring of 2018 that I turned and said to Joel one day… “I think we’re starting to really get the hang of this 3 kids thing”…ha. And now we’re preparing to have our worlds rocked, once again, and the beauty of it is that I truly can’t imagine it any other way. 

A Year of Finding Balance, With and Through My Children

My word of the year for 2018 was Balance. How appropriate that we sought and found some new family rhythms to give us a beautiful sense of balance, and now in early 2019 we’ll adjust and shift and build on what we’ve learned. God’s timing is truly incredible, and I smile just knowing how much better life gets when I don’t try so hard to control the future, the timing of things, and everything in between. Anyone else working on that lesson (again, and again)?

I see how well the kids are maturing and adjusting and doing more for themselves and in their lives, even as the balance shifts again and my focus starts to be on prepping for the next one. I never cease to be amazed at how much kids are hard-wired to THRIVE–to seek out, grab, hold onto, to create the experiences, stimulation, relationships, etc., that most help them become themselves, and to be challenged and remain curious about their world…it’s a quality we all wish we had more of or held on to better as adults!

Photo by Laurie Wright Photography, 2018

Learning about Gentleness and Creative Introspection from Emma

So, diving into the 2018 Fall edition, I’ll start with Emma Lucia, my eldest. She turned 8 in August, and is thriving and being stretched by life in 3rd grade. Oh Emma, what a special spirit she is. I honestly pause at least once a day and marvel that she’s my daughter. Her heart is so sensitive and clued into the needs of others–when she was younger, she was more melancholic, but as she’s grown, she looks outside of herself and cares so deeply about what others are experiencing and going through.

She’s 8, which means fierce friendships and a growing sense of independence–she thrills when I give her responsibilities that stretch and challenge her (though better that we don’t call them chores:)), and at school I see her growing in leaps and bounds with the environment, academic challenges, and the tight knit (tiny class) social circle that she loves. She teaches me so much about seeing the world with wide eyed imagination, gentleness, thinking outside the box, caring deeply for others and always looking for that creative outlet.

She’s a great (gentle) ring leader of the other two, coming up with creative games that keep the younger two entertained, and playing elaborate lego and character games on her own. I don’t ever want her to grow up where she’s too old for that. She has a good sense of what it means to be having another baby coming soon, and she’s very excited and aware of how it will change things in the family.

I’m so grateful she’s in a lovely school– and has a pace of life and friendships–that are encouraging her to stay little, soak up these golden years of imaginative childhood…they really are so beautiful to watch through the eyes of a mother. And she challenges me to always leave room for imagination, creativity and gentle connectedness to others, as keys to beautiful days.

Learning about the Power of Grace and Passion from Corinne

Corinne–my firecracker. She’s the one who has given me the most gray hairs, the most “what am I doing wrong as a mother” moments, and yet our bond is fierce, and I see so much of myself in her (and a bunch of other traits), that I have to laugh as I’m learning to parent her–I’m hearing echoes of what I need to be told daily as well: “Lighten up, Corinne. Not everything can go just your way” and “Don’t get frustrated that it’s not perfect. Try again, embrace the process, and imperfection”…and so much more.

She’s 5, in kindergarten, and is just on top of the world. She’s the one who needed school (that wonderful stimulation) badly–and while we wondered how she would do transitioning to full days this year, she’s absolutely thriving, the center of her class social scene, adores her fun young teacher (who’s fashionable, which is very important to Corinne) and is just ready to explode with all the things she’s excited to be learning about and bringing home to show and tell me. She’s just beginning to unwrap the magical world of reading…with fierce pride in herself.

I will never ever tire of seeing her attack a playground, and jump, swing, flip, twirl, and use every aspect of it to her heart’s delight. That’s my 5 year old Corinne! She’s been doing a gymnastics class, and it’s the perfect environment for her to push herself physically, and have fun…it reminds me a lot about why I love running, and yoga, and fitness in general…that sheer focus and her determination to do better than she did yesterday (not competing against others–yet–but against her own definition of where she wants to be).

I learn from her (and she from me) about how to channel our energies, engage them well (think leadership, as opposed to bossiness, and gymnastics, as opposed to tearing up my home ;)). She’s the one that is the most surprisingly tender to me even in the midst of her whirlwind energy, and is always thinking of sweet things for me “and the baby.” We have the sweetest conversations when I put her to bed, and her mind is just exploding with the possibilities of life and her place in it. 

I want to say she’s changed the most in the past year, but I think it’s really just about coming into her own: she’s embracing the best parts of who she wants to be, and leaving behind some of the dangerously obstinate habits of toddler-hood. “Though she be but little, she is fierce!” I want her to retain that always, in pursuit of the good, true and beautiful.

Photo by Laurie Wright Photography, 2018

Learning about Curiosity and Playfulness from Ambrose

Ambrose–-oh my lover boy. The one who made me a blessed and happy boy mom (now getting ready to welcome another boy). His tenderness to me, his silliness and sense of humor, how he’s navigating all the big changes of his little life, I’m just marveling at it daily, and loving every minute with him. He teaches me so much about approaching all aspects of life with enthusiasm and a grin.

The other night when we are scurrying around doing bedtime things with Corinne, I see him grab his little board book and jump into my bed next to Emma who’s doing her reading there. He cuddles up and then yells out to me in the hallway—“I’m happy!!” That sums him up pretty well, just that sunny good natured guy who brings out all the doting qualities from all of us.

The year between 1 and 2 is really when so much happens for them, they go from being little babies needing so much, to super independent, and this guy handled it with grace and agility.

Much more than my other girls were (that I remember), he’s super inquisitive and always asking “What’s that” “Where are we?”, “Why…?” His brain is hardwired to connect the dots between things and that, along with his very tidy habits (my pride and joy–-he’s always cleaning up his messes without prompting, using his mini cleaning set, or picking up after he’s done, etc.) makes me think he could have a future as an engineer (like his grandfather) or something that requires attention to detail/organization, and lots of asking “why does this work this way?”

He’s my nature lover boy, who’s always trying to play with bugs, run outside with his boots on, and just explore…and on hikes, he fiercely keeps up with rigorous climbs and will go for a mile or more just powering away, excited about what’s up ahead. I’ve LOVED these fall days with him, as a special transition moment, knowing that in the new year, things will shift again, and he’ll give up his position as youngest…but he’ll always be my baby boy, and he has his dad wrapped around his finger, which is wonderful to watch.

He teaches me so much about loving life and taking things as they come. He reminds me how important it is to just PLAY, and use our energy on things that make us happy.

Photo by Laurie Wright Photography, 2018

Learning about Trust and the Unique Gift of Each Life from My Sneaky Pete

My little bump dweller, “Sneaky Pete,” as we like to call him, rounding us out to 2 girls, 2 boys. This guy sure has taught me A LOT so far, for being so little, but it’s been quite an exciting journey with him, and I’d say primarily it’s about trust in God, joy and gratitude for the lives we get to connect with, touch, and bring into this world. There’s some very very special reason that he’s here, that he exists–so I’m eager to witness and see just what that could be.

And he’s been SO good and easy on his momma so far (let’s keep that up), and I just marvel at it all, all over again (but more deeply perhaps). I’ve been really intentionally journaling almost daily with this pregnancy, and really letting this little guy and our experiences together shape my thoughts, my work, what I’m focused on, there’s so much richness there, in terms of lessons and learning to really become aware of the process, of how much these weeks, each week, changes us.

Maybe you’ve heard it said that every child a woman carries leaves some of their own DNA in her? We as mothers are literally, and in so many facets, never ever going to be the same, thanks to the babies we carry or have carried.

Now that we’re at the point (34 weeks) that he could survive outside the womb just fine (though let’s not get any ideas of coming early) it’s just mind blowing to me, just how much development takes place in these early weeks, and how lucky we are to be witnesses to it, as parents, from day 1. It still feels surreal, but amazing, that in 6 weeks we’ll have another little one fully part of our home and family.

I have no doubt I’ll be writing more updates soon on this little one, but so far, he’s as go with the flow as they come, and genuinely brings such an edge of joy to my life and awareness, he’s reminding me just how much ALL in life is gift, sometimes God’s ways are much better than our ways (well, always!), and how good things lead to more and more and more good things–abundance of blessings follows when we trust and relinquish control.

His presence also reminds me, yet again, how important self-care is as mothers–caring for self and caring for other are the same/inextricably linked in this beautiful phase, and I am grateful some of these lessons have sunk in over the past 8 years, even as I learn new ones, that are appropriate for this season.

Photo by Laurie Wright Photography, 2018

So that’s it, the 2018 recap on life-lessons from my kids…

I love their spirit and this moment above, it captures perfectly their wild and free hearts, ready to take on adventure and risk as it comes to them—alive to the world, to life and it’s blessings, just committed to thriving. We all have so much to learn from the children in our lives–our own, and others!

And here’s the recap from last year to enjoy/compare. I LOVE seeing the growth, as much in my perspective, as in each of them.

Life lessons my children are teaching me right now

How are your kids leading to your growth, and changing you during this season of life? I’d love to hear.

 

Posted on

3rd Trimester! Things I’m loving these days.

“Pregnancy is a process, that invites you to surrender to the unseen force behind all life”

Well, it’s here–we’re in the homestretch. It happened fast, and now I know the final weeks may fly by even more. I’m really trying to enjoy all the moments, and live this pregnancy intentionally—so much about it has been a total gift, surprise, journey in trust, and I can’t even begin to tell you how my heart has been transforming. It’s the miracle that every time, love multiples. And stretches us, yes, beyond our comfort zones, but it’s there that we truly begin to live.

I’m journaling a lot, enjoying getting to know baby as he kicks his way into my life more and more each day 🙂 Taking time to slow down and be still and marvel at all of it…which pregnancy brings out of me (surprisingly enough!). The holidays are looming, but I know this year will be simpler and more cozy, combined with the nesting, and I’m just really pumped about what the next 12 weeks will bring, for me, and for all of us.

The fact that it’s my easiest pregnancy by far (so far) is helpful, but I also know that I have some practice in doing what’s needed to make sure baby and I are happy and healthy…and I wanted to share a few of my current favorites, knowing that many wonderful moms I know are due sometime right after me, in spring of 2019.

I hope this is a helpful roundup–and feel free to share with a pregnant friend if you think she’d like it.

As a mom of 4, one of the most important aspects of this time is maintaining my energy levels and using my energy on the right things! As any mom will tell you, we can get laser focused on nesting and a bunch of projects related to prepping for baby, and in this case, it’s been a lot of setting up my business structures and flow (and hopefully this space) to work well during my time focusing on baby, and that’s been an exciting and welcome endeavor. Thank goodness for my amazing husband, support crew, and team. And my kids, for putting up with my tidying impulses (neat freak is tied to hormones for me)…our home is feeling cozy, and we’re ready for a winter welcoming the next one into the mix.

People often ask me: so how do you stay so energized in pregnancy?

Answer…like most things in life, it’s not just any one thing. And having a life and balance that you love (in terms of work/life/family/rhythms etc) certainly helps in bringing that joy and energy to everyday.

Anyway, sharing a few things that I’m loving right now, and that are helping me stay strong, energized and happy as we enter the final stage of this beautiful thing called pregnancy.

Daily Habits

Some of you have seen my daily routines/morning flow videos and posts on IG-TV, and others haven’t. Some of the habits I decided to embrace this pregnancy and that have been serving me well:

*Decaf lifestyle…with the exception of this killer cinnamon tea that I’m linking below for you…MUST get. I’ve been trying to avoid full caffeine drinks, and that means decaf coffee, some lighter caffeinated tea, etc. But let me tell you, sleep is one of the most important things for feeling good and powering through a pregnancy (especially with other small kids around) so cutting the caffeine cycle can really help, as hard as it might feel. It won’t serve you that much in postpartum anyway, so now’s a good time to cut back. I instead drink and SWEAR by this super energizing tea, in pomegranate, often mixed with seltzer. It’s a powerful midday boost, with amino acids for brain power, and I’ve gotten other pregnant mommas hooked on it, they tell me it helps them so much. Cheers!!

*Daily stretching/yoga…aiming for 20 minutes in the morning, after tea and prayer time and toddler snuggles…but even 10 minutes helps my body and my mind so much. In the evening, I’ll aim for another 15 but often it’s just restorative stuff–whatever needs to be stretched, child’s pose, legs up the wall, pigeon pose and other ones that help counter-act the effects of the busy days. Maybe I’ll do another post with my favorites if there’s interest (comment if you’d like to see that);) If you’re new to pre-natal yoga, and want to start…I like these.

*Daily walks. I walk 2 miles per day about 4-5/week. The other days I am either hiking with the family (for weekend movement), or at the gym doing weights and treadmill or elliptical. Moving every day is not a luxury, it’s a necessity for pregnancy. I notice the difference in even just 1-2 days if I don’t do a long walk, I’m stiffer, more sore, everything feels tight, and there’s so many reasons to believe that walking and natural movement help us in staying strong and preparing for a wonderful delivery and recovery. In my experience coaching moms, the biggest things moms can do for their mindset, their confidence, stamina, and their ability to jump into a postpartum fitness routine, and even preventing some of the mood challenges of the 3rd trimester and postpartum (PPD), staying fit in pregnancy is of top priority. See more about my thoughts on running while pregnant here…and share your thoughts about your favorite types of workouts to do while pregnant! I also love barre for another low impact but high results pregnancy workout, and of course, plyometrics and yoga and other things, with the approval of your doctor.

*Every Mother. I LOVE the prepare program. 3 words, Mommas: There’s. An. App. (No excuses). She taught me how to move properly, preventing injury and healing a core strained from big babies, and with the help of my physical therapist, I’ve had an entirely different experience of core strength and posture and balance in this pregnancy than with my other ones…it’s been a game changer. So many women suffer from Diasistis Recti, and even moms who don’t may feel like their core will never feel balanced and strong in the same way again— and I believe that with this program, DR and core injury can be prevented the majority of the time from ever occurring (and we prefer prevention right?:)) And Leah’s recovery program is fantastic as well, so you’re ready to go with that as soon as you’re cleared after birth. I’m not affiliated with them in any way yet (I’m considering being a coach in future), this is just my fan review (and you can read my featured member story soon on their site).

Books I’m loving:

I needed this book. It’s like Ina May, but for Catholics. Just inspirational, wise, not over bearing or judgmental, just some helpful reflections to really enter the right state of mind for welcoming and appreciating labor for what it is. I have to say, wish I’d had it around to read with my first…but here it is and you can enjoy it too if it looks valuable.

AND, since I’m heading into sons, plural, I’m reading this one that my mom gave me…yay mom.

And I’m always reading something inspirational/non-fiction for my coaching life, so currently, finishing the year strong with my influencers book club with this one.

SO GOOD. What we read in the final trimester (and watch) can really affect us–so think about it, this may not be the moment to start that intense tear-jerker fiction series or to watch a bunch of intense movies/TV. Your brain and everything is being re-wired to be a protective, nurturing (and nurtured) space for babe. Understanding that has helped me immensely in the final weeks. Same goes for birth stories….maybe lots of folks will want to share their “horror stories” or “best ever birth” stories—honor your intuition and if you don’t think those will help you right now, politely explain so.

Styling the bump.

At this point, you’ve probably all seen how much I LOVE, live in, and rave about Blanqi. These support tanks and leggings came into my life in my 2nd pregnancy and were a game changer. The tanks work great styled under piece (at the time, it was office clothes, now it’s good ol’ maternity jeans). They allowed me to comfortably run and workout feeling support until 38 weeks pregnant with my Corinne…and I’ve used them ever since. This year,  #blanqigirls came out with a sport specific legging, and I’m obsessed. It’s designed with momma’s body and health in mind, compression in the lower legs/calves, more relaxed up above, a super sleek and supportive belly band, it’s just juicy, I wear it to the gym, on runs, daily walks, and just about everywhere else. It’s fun that I know the amazing mommas who started the brand too–they are super inspiring #bossbabes who’ve created a powerful brand–it’s awesome to support them while (literally) supporting our backs and bumps!

And Stitch Fix! Nothing like not wanting to go shopping while pregnant–but finding that every week, things fit differently and new stylish pieces are an absolute must, especially in the final trimester, to continue feeling good and enjoying rocking pregnancy 😉 You’re a posterboard for motherhood, and hopefully a joyful one at that, so might as well look the part! That’s my realization, after years of not wanting to buy new things for pregnancy, it’s just so good to have a few new pieces and things that fit well and are flattering. So, the way it works is, they send you a box, and you get to decide what to keep and what to send back. And believe me, the ease of having a personal stylist do it for you is welcome always, but especially appreciated in pregnancy and postpartum. Effortless, and very little risk. Check it out here with my referral code for $25 off your first box–do it. You won’t regret it 🙂  I’m wearing a reversible vest and maroon sweater from stitch in the top photo 😉

Note about final trimester–definitely shoe shop. Get some that are super comfy, supportive for arches, FLAT, natural if possible, TOMS are great, but shop a size up, just embracing the fact that for the moment, your feet might be running a bit bigger/wider. There is nothing worse than trying to squeeze pregnant feet into shoes that are our normal size. Nothing about us is normal right now…and it’s good to know that you’ll be back in those soon, but get something super helpful that you enjoy moving and walking in daily in the final weeks. For me, that’s TOMS, and this year, my super comfy fur lined boots that are a bit big on me, sized up for boot socks. My last pregnancy, I got some super stylish grey sneakers for the final trimester that I’ve ended up wearing SO much, in all seasons, and they were one of the best purchases from that time. Feeling good is not a luxury, it’s important right now.

Self-care things I’m enjoying:

Epsom salt/magnesium baths–2-3 times per week. These are SO good for our nervous system, balancing out hormones, promoting deep sleep and rest/recovery for aching muscles, and so much more. Our magnesium needs go through the roof in pregnancy, and while I also take a nightly Cal-Mag supplement that I swear by, this is another great way to absorb the magnesium in the skin. Make sure the bath isn’t too steamy, and enjoy with candles, tea, a good book, and some quiet time.

Belly rubs: In addition to pre-natal massage–which I LOVE, doing nightly belly rubs with a shea butter like this one (and supplementing vitamin E) can greatly reduce chances of stretch marks on the belly. I’m 3 for 3 with avoiding those (oh, and eating lots of avocados and nuts helps too!)–and hoping that I can keep it that way for a 4th 😉 Feels so good at the end of a long day, and as part of my yoga/stretching and night time rituals. Grab your shea butter spa cream here. It’s 100% clean guarantee, like the rest of our youth skincare line–no parabens or any of that icky stuff to worry about for you and baby–as part of your total non-toxic lifestyle upgrade. Or get your partner to do a full body massage with this stuff–you’ll be in heaven. The smell and texture is just perfect, my body/hands crave it in the winter.

Nightly legs up the wall/restorative yoga pose. This could very well change your late pregnancy (and a few of the tools below) if you decide to try it. I discovered it with my first, and it’s such a perfect combination of rest, and healing/restoring/undoing the day (literally, by removing the excess blood flow/fluid built up by days on our feet, running around). I do it most evenings, and that, combined with the mag baths, is the perfect transition from the busy-ness of the day, to the tranquility and peaceful state that I aim for in the evenings (when 2 out of the 3 at least are sleeping ;)) You just need a wall, and a comfy pillow to support your head/spine if needed. Enjoy, and feel the difference!

And…extra but oh-so-essential for a thriving pregnancy.

Physical Therapy for Pelvis/Back. I love Melissa, I’ve been going to her for years (how amazing that she’s located in my midwives’ office–talk about caring for moms holistically!), she makes me feel amazing and keeps me active at high levels in pregnancy and postpartum. Everyone needs to find themselves a good pelvic physical therapist (different from chiropractor, which are great, but less able to really work these areas that mommas need most).

Reflexology–this is my absolute treat evening (just had one tonight)–sneaking away to tea and reflexology with Pippa who’s become a dear friend over a year of caring for me–reflexology reminds us of just how deeply mind, body, and spirit are connected–when we begin healing one aspect, the other ones are healed as well…it’s an incredible thing, and awesome for reducing nausea in early and late pregnancy, prepping for a quick and smooth delivery, and much more. She also balanced my hormones very effectively in postpartum and to prepare/conceive this little guy–such an amazing lady–search around and find a true healer (acupuncture is also amazing, and I’ve loved that in past pregnancies).

Prenatal Massage (a sometimes splurge in the final weeks/months)…have you heard of myscofascial release? Well with my 3rd, I had some life changing massage experiences with Suzu, who’s trained to treat mommas, and boy is she good. She teaches us to do self-massage that’s healing for the uterus and all internal organs, helps so much in the final weeks and in prepping for birth. I imagine there’s someone great at this in your area…this could be a game changer for you too!

Caring for self deeply is caring for baby, as our thriving is intertwined in these final weeks. It’s a beautiful thing.

Nutrition Tools for 3rd Trimester/Home Stretch

You all know this is my jam. I’ve made a business and lifestyle out of health coaching, nutrition partnership and LOVE seeing mommas rock pregnancy, postpartum and all things family life with these tools. Here’s some of my favorites that I’m using/can’t imagine life without right now.

This tea. Well this tea is awesome, I’ll start drinking it daily around week 32, and it’s got red raspberry leaf, nettles, chamomile and rosehips. Great for toning the uterus and preparing for labor. I’ll also start EPO (Evening Primrose oil) around 34 weeks and go crazy with that for prepping cervix to soften and dilate.

Dates. You might have seen my recent post on pregnancy snacking, with a super yummy dates and almond butter combo, that’s to die for.  I’ll have a handful of dates every day for the final weeks; they are known for their properties of making labor easier—how they can prove this is fascinating and beyond my scope, but it’s been studied and seems to hold up. Pretty amazing, the power of nutrition when harnessed to our specific needs.

And, of course, you’ve heard me swear by the pre-natal strip (never too late to start taking it, if you feel this might be the moment)…the link here includes many testimonials from midwives (rave reviews) and other moms who’ve used it for super healthy pregnancies, deliveries and babies. I have always gotten complimented on my gorgeous placentas (abnormally huge and healthy, “textbook” I’ve been told)–with the 2 pregnancies I had using these supports. We all want the best we can do for our babies in the womb, and this little strip just might be it. Plus, the probiotic helps mommas so much (no acid reflux please), and it’s helped several of my anemic friends to resolve their iron deficiencies in pregnancy too!

This GLA complex is for hormonal balance. Helps me tremendously in the final weeks, when our hormones can send moods through the wringer, and balancing out appetite, nausea, etc. I also find that building it up in my system before birth is helpful and key for a smoother postpartum, with less mood swings, and no signs of PPD (which I had bouts of with my first, before I discovered this). It’s something every momma will want to have around for those days after birth.

Vitamin E. Miracle working for avoiding varicose veins, and keeping skin healthy supple and strong. Take it orally, it works wonders.

Alfalfa. This, plus the yoga pose mentioned earlier, are my 2 favorite antidotes to the inevitable 3rd trimester ankle swelling/bloating/water retention. Believe me, with alfalfa in your 3rd trimester, you can eliminate that discomfort almost completely (And staying hydrated of course!) and bonus that it helps with preparing for lactation, and a balanced and fantastic milk supply (think, no engorgement, no lack of milk, just balanced, has been my experience). If you do one thing differently in pregnancy–try this for your 3rd trimester…!

Pineapple—pineapple is known for toning the uterus/cervix and helping with a smooth labor and delivery. I adore snacking on it, so I’ll have lots of it in the coming weeks.

And of course, dark chocolate;) Continuing to eat intuitively, locally, colorfully and enjoying all the moments. This little guy has been so good to me, and I’m just about ready to meet him…after we enjoy our beautiful last holiday season as a family of 5!

Hugs to all the pregnant mommas reading this. You’re amazing and deserve to have a fantastic pregnancy experience. I’m here to support in anyway I can. Reach out!💋

Posted on

Yoga with kids: Prepare to get flexible ;)

Over 8 years of having kids, and having fitness as a priority in that process, yoga has shaped my experience of motherhood. Starting with my first prenatal yoga class that I went to weekly on Thursday nights—leaving my stressful workplace early with a grin and rushing on the subway from Manhattan to a YMCA in Brooklyn—my experience of yoga has also been shaped by mothering.

It is as a mother that I have experienced how yoga fits into my everyday and adds value to it.

We All Need a Combination of High Impact and Low Impact Activities

I’ve always been more of an intense athlete—soccer my whole life, competitive swimming and tennis in high school, and more recently, HIIT workouts and distance running as my go-to exercise methods.

But, the reality of life and especially mothering, is that our bodies need a combination of high and low impact activities to be at their best. For every mile that I run, stretching and restorative/muscle relaxing and rebuilding becomes important. And for overall stress relief, low impact workouts have been proven to be more effective at lowering cortisol levels, preventing adrenal fatigue and failure (the real, very present BURNOUT that I see so many moms on the verge of, and have personal experience with navigating).

Add to that the changes that each pregnancy works on the body, the natural recovery and rebuilding time in postpartum, and I’ve found that I need to have a fitness practice that I can keep with me for all of those moments and seasons of life, providing consistency and routine.

For all these reasons, I am continually led back to yoga (I mean this loosely as in the postures I’ve learned as well as stretching of all kinds) as a positive and important part of my daily routines and overall lifestyle. It’s sort of one of my secret weapons for getting through the long days in an energized, calm and grounded fashion (no, I’m by no means perfect…)….and some days my kids at 6pm will hear me saying—“I’m going out to my yoga porch for a moment” (And yes they often follow me out there)–which is my way of coping and giving myself the permission to re-center and come back into their midst closer to my best self…

But yoga has not just been my routine, it has become a natural part of our family life and kid life as well.

How Yoga/mindful movement Practice Has Shaped My Kids

When having kids and encouraging them to build fitness habits and bodily awareness and appreciation, we’ve done a lot of the typical things: swimming, ballet, gymnastics, running (love family race events!) and dabbled in soccer (the girls haven’t taken to it but something tells me that it may be Ambrose’ sport of choice).

However, since they also see me, often, at home, building in time for my own workouts, if I can’t make it to the gym—-and I DO love showing them that the habits can begin at home, yoga has become a natural fit for something playful, relaxing, that we can do together and stretch ourselves in, without being rushed through a workout.

I remember when Corinne was an infant and I’d be doing lots of HIIT videos and pilates/barre videos, she’d want to hang on me, and be part of it all, and I’d do almost half the workout holding her in various positions or incorporating her in. It got more challenging the heftier she got. Can any other moms relate?

When she was a toddler and able to follow along, she’d boss me if I wasn’t going hard or fast enough, and participate…my mini-me was hard-wired to love movement, and to need it—as I do—for her daily mood and behavior/attitude.

Just ask my husband (and why he always makes sure I get time to work-out during the weekend, as needed): I’m a grouchier me if I’m not able to stay physically active, in some form.  And yes for kids, it’s built into a lot of their play and playground time, which I’m a huge fan of, but it also may need to be channeled more directly and specifically with certain kids, as we’ve found we need to do with Corinne.

Using Movement to Help with the Tough Developmental Phases

With Corinne, over the past 2 years—as we’ve navigated with her the challenging developmental phases of a BIG, strong personality going through toddler years, pre-school, and up until now—giving her stretching, playful movement tools and opportunities has actually helped our mother-daughter relationship, and these challenging growing phases, immensely.

Sometimes when we’re in a heated power struggle about something, for example, putting on shoes or what’s for the next meal (I’m not making this up), I’ll turn to yoga as an calming outlet for both of us. Or if she’s mad at me and trying to calm down, I’ll suggest, “Hey, let’s go do some yoga together,” and her frown will turn upside down. I know right away that she’s going to guide me through the poses and coach me, making sure I’m doing it the right way…(Oh, I can’t express to you how much she reminds me of myself :0).

We’ll have reconnecting or “make-up” yoga sessions, where she will literally (as she always has)—-want to climb on top of me, do poses on my back, wrestle and be playful, and she’s such a physical kid that this is part of her love language—quality physical time together.

So over the past 2+ years, following these cues from my mini-me, I’ve made it more of a habit to incorporate the kids into my yoga practice, as a great way for them to get time with me, to learn new things, move their bodies, and for me to benefit from the session as well (in whatever ways I can: if I need my own alone time for restorative/uninterrupted flow,  I’ll make sure I get that too with another yoga session at another time of day).

You’re going to have to embrace a flexible mindset when it comes to your workout “goals” and what the kids will want to actually do, but I find when it’s playful, experimental, and you’re encouraging them to just try new things and challenge their own physical awareness and movement, the benefits will be innumerable, and you’ll enjoy knowing that every day will look a little different, but you’ll see their grins throughout the process.

So…How Early Can They Start?

In terms of how early you can start kids with yoga, I’ve been doing yoga with them in my bellies, and by 9-10 months they are usually able to enjoy the aerial poses with you (but sometimes in the early days I just do it during baby naps for simplicity and focus on the toddler).

By one and a half, Ambrose was very aware of being part of my yoga practice and would be yelling “mommy yoga” when he saw me preparing for it, just like he cheered me on and welcomed me home with appreciation after “mommy run!” (followed by, “mommy, sweaty…!” when I hug him).

By this age, he was doing active poses with me, one-legged downward dog being his favorite (go-to) pose of choice. By two or three years old, they can really follow some of the book prompts that teach them to do simple flows from one basic pose to the next. Corinne loves these (linked below).

And last month, after doing a lot of yoga in the summer out in the yard on blankets, we set up our yoga porch, which allows us to have this dedicated space that encourages the habit, and allows us to make sure we’re inspired to do something daily—both myself and the kids. When I got them their own mats, they were thrilled, because frankly those aren’t super easy to share, and it gave them a sense of involvement they hadn’t had before.

Now, they will bring their friends out to the yoga porch and lead sessions on rainy afternoons (and by lead, I mean, Corinne will yell at her class to try these challenging wheel poses, etc and get mad at them if they don’t do them…so we do need to work on her teacher finesse, and class management skills).

Keeping it fun, forming healthy habits

It made my heart so happy in that moment, to see that she understands this as something she loves, is good at, and it’s good for her (and others)…and I hope that these habits continue to serve all my kids, throughout life. Any serious athlete will tell you the importance of stretching/limberness and healing the body through mindful movement—connecting mind and body.

Kids, like all of us, face a lot of stress and fast-paced days, and I love knowing that a yoga practice can help set them up to be aware of their breath and heart-beat, to spend time in gratitude for their healthy bodies, minds and spirits, and even lead them into prayer, as it does for me.

For those of you looking for a more directly religious/Christian based stretching/workout regimen, check out Soul Core and Pietra Fitness.

This fall, I’ve solidified a morning routine that works for this phase, and that I love. We get the girls fed, lunches made, chat with them, and they’re out the door to school with dad as the first thing, since they have to be out early. I don’t push myself with early wake up times when I’m pregnant (if it happens by accident, great), and then from 8-9 am, I give myself (and Ambrose) time for a leisurely tea, prayer time, yoga and stretching session—sometimes following a yoga flow, and other times just doing my own practice that fits with the needs of my ever-changing pregnant body. This is my key self-care time before I go into business owner momma mode, and the juggling of texts/social/emails/kids/lovely outings, and all that goes into the day. Needless to say, I’ve started to get very protective of this (unplugged), calm morning time, and find that it sets up the tone for the rest of the day and how I can bring my best self to the table–with a spirit of service and joy. 

I always do my prayer and journaling for the day along with this (and affirmations/gratitude practice), and they flow together beautifully. For me, discovering a daily yoga practice is my way of giving thanks for my body, and LIVING gratitude for it with movement that is also calming, grounding and prayerful.

Ambrose loves doing his yoga poses alongside me for a few minutes, then he will often let his interest wander to his trucks, or his driveway toys, and he’s off and running. But those moments of connection, and on rainy mornings he’s bouncing around the yoga porch, and beautiful and meaningful for me, even as I feel his little brother stretching and kicking within me as we do a “happy baby” pose together or he climbs on my back when I’m in pigeon or down dog pose.

COMING SOON: Another More Complete Morning Routines Post (see my IG TV episode on it for starters, and to share your thoughts on ideal mornings–I’d LOVE your input)

Resources for Starting Out Doing YOGA With Your Kids

Some tips and resources:

*Find a good time of day that is a time when they maybe need a grounding experience, but also are calm enough to focus well. For some families, mornings might work well. I’m going to try to start a mini session with them before the rush for school.

Sometimes, at 5pm—our witching hour around here after school, is when we go out to our yoga porch together and I show them a pose or 2, nothing crazy, but bringing new things into their awareness is very fun for them.

*Grab these kids mats from GAIM yoga. I love the thickness and durability of their adult mats, and while the toddler size mats are a little thinner, they are excellent quality and fun designs. I have gotten the kids size mats and stayed away from the true toddler size, as they will outgrow those faster, but either way, your little one will love having their mat rolled up next to yours, or laid out ready for them at any moment.

*Pick the right environment, minimize distractions. In the dead of winter, the living room is the best spot, so we put the mats out there (once it’s tidied) and light candles or do something to help them focus in on it. In the summer, a yard or garden could lend itself to the right mood, and chances are kids will want to be outside with you, anyway.

*There are some great videos for yoga with kids, although I would also suggest keeping it flexible, my kids don’t always want to watch a video/focus their attention there when we’re already setting up the poses and having a good connection—I think it’s about reading into their needs and trying different things. I’ve had better success with cute yoga books for kids, that we can have with us and reference, pose by pose, for inspiration, but that isn’t taking their attention or causing a distraction.

Cosmic Kids Yoga is a great starting point if you want to use videos to gain confidence and get the little ones into a routine with it. I just encourage you to do yoga outside/in fresh air, and unplugged as much as possible, as it will change their experience of it (and yours) dramatically.

Here’s some of the books I recommend–can get at the library or on amazon.

Yoga Bear: simple animal poses (and related books in the series)

Yoga Frog

The yoga zoo adventure

*For your adolescent, or teen, it might serve you well to do yoga for beginner videos with them, and let them gain confidence following someone else’ lead. A great resource, one that I personally use most often, is www.yogawithadriene.com…she has TONS of free yoga flows on you tube, for everything from 15 min morning flow, to hour long practices based on certain needs—like relaxation, anxiety, weight loss, low back pain, etc.

That’s it folks, enjoy this bonus content/reflections on how stretching and yoga fits in well with a balanced life (just one of my many tangents that my editor aka sister puts up with from me here:)—and what a gift to give that awareness to your kids early on in life.

Additionally, if you want to learn more about what we do with our other healthy kids practices, check out the snacks and recipes on the blog, and our tips for building a strong nutritional foundation for these little bodies and their many needs.

I’d love to hear: did this inspire you in your practice, or beginning yoga with kids? What are your stories and experiences from your own homes and families? I love the conversations that develop from this.