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Category: personal growth

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12 Best Books (and 5 best podcasts) for your first year in Business

I speak with and work with amazing entrepreuners and small business owners, who come from all walks of life and diverse backgrounds–teachers, advertising professionals, stay-at-home moms, consultants, writers, you name it. I LOVE the passion and energy of someone starting a new project, whether it’s a passion project, community service venture, philanthropic undertaking or a small business of their own. It’s just beautiful to see these dreams start to become reality, especially when they finally have the courage after years, and the moment is right to dive in. Well, I’ve also seen in so many cases, we underestimate ourselves. Not the need for the hard skills or what’s required. No, it’s not for lack of sweat equity and knowledge that the first year can be so challenging. It’s truly a matter of mindset. To shift one’s thinking away from cultural norms or to expand our level of expectation of ourselves, our successes, it requires truly new thoughts, ideas and inspirations. And we need to keep digging into our total mindset makeover for a full year (or more) as our visions become reality.  I learned this the hard way–hitting so many mental roadblocks early on in business, unsure of where to turn, thinking I was alone in this challenge or didn’t have the resources or depth to figure it out.

Turns out, the saying goes, you become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Well, some of us may have been blessed or wise to build strong, incredible tribes of like-minded individuals around us. And this list is certainly encouraged to be used in a book club or business mastermind setting (that’s where some of them had their start with us too!). But in all honesty, I want to surround myself with the best of the best, and challenge my thinking continuously, and the best way I’ve found to do that is to hang out with these amazing role models through their writings.

So, without further ado, here’s my curated list, and a sentence or 2 about why each of these books made it!

(PS: Thanks in advance for using and supporting the affiliate links that make this blog possible…it’s what we call a win-win).

  1. The War of Art. Somehow, this is always at the very top of my list to recommend when someone says–I’m starting something new! It’s exciting and scary. Well, we all have this friend, RESISTANCE. It’s the reason that things don’t come to reality, that we stop ourselves, that we say we’re not good enough, that it can’t happen…but here’s the thing. This book will literally debunk every excuse you ever had, and then fire you up, with short and chewable kicks-in-the-pants for even those phases when reading seems like a distraction from the start-up checklist. You MUST read this book. Immediately, and then read it again every year thereafter.

2. Rich Dad, Poor Dad. This is the ultimate short-cut to understanding wealth creation and the mindset that’s required for breaking free from an Employee/9-5 mentality…and never looking back. I can’t recommend it highly enough, and check out the cash flow quadrant as a follow up to it. I go back to these concepts in my coaching time and time again–they are just so juicy.

3. The Happiness Advantage. Have you ever had the thought, or played out that you want to be happy, but that you must first achieve XYZ, or prove these things to yourself and others, especially in your current venture? Well, this book is going to perfectly and beautifully turn that strange cultural norm we have of HAVE, DO, BE…to BE, DO, HAVE. When we’re happy first–and work on our mind–we then create the habits, avenues and possibilities for greatest success…not the other way around….hard work, grind, grimace, and then with success we’re allowed to finally smile. I’m telling you, this is another game-changer. Not just for your current venture, but for your entire life!

4. Rising Strong. And for all the times when “Happiness” just doesn’t cut it, or life can’t be that simple…there’s this book. It taught me the beauty and power of a vocabulary and framework of vulnerability for true connection. And isn’t that what we’re all craving and creating when we make brands, serve clients, create something new? And we face so many of our own demons when we step into new roles and new playing fields. This is your playbook for how to handle all the #$*& that life throws at you…and to come out, stronger.

5. High Performance Habits. Now that you have some of that intense and big picture stuff behind you–let’s move on to your daily habits. This book is SO closely linked to common sense, it’s crazy, but it’s also revolutionary and mind-blowing at the same time, because no one has ever done what Brendon’s done, and set out to codify and study success as it relates to habits that we can copy. It’s the fastest cheat sheet to your personal growth accelerator that you can find–short of dishing out lots of money to attend a personal development or leadership seminar. Which you should. Consider this your teaser.

6. 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. After working on yourself and your habits, this book turns you to awareness of the bigger picture–the team your building, or the company you’re creating, the clients and partners you’re working with and involving in your vision. This is such a classic text and the wisdom is richer with age. I can’t say enough good things, you’ll probably be re-reading it regularly, or referencing it. Leaders are readers, so you’re in the right company there too!

7) Start with Why. After focusing on your team and sphere of influence, this book is going to help you understand the power and importance of stating and living/exploring your vision to it’s fullest definition and potential. Classic quote from the book–“People don’t buy WHAT you sell, they by WHY you sell it.” I wish I could say this was an easy read, it’s not, it’s a bit of a slog at times…but it’s one of those must read books for entrepreuners, so read it you will!:)

8) The 4 Agreements. This is a classic of personal development, that becomes crucial and foundational for business owners and anyone creating their own brand. Want to be treated with respect, and always treat others at the highest level possible? This book shatters some societal expectations and helps us envision a world where there’s more GOODNESS, so we can go out and start creating it. These 4 rules for living will serve to bring so much peace and happiness to you when lived out.

9) Playing Big. This is your play book for expanding what you think is possible for yourself, and living life at a new level of purpose, vision and productivity. It’s one you have to sit with, go back to chapters in, and put into practice immediately, as you go!

10) Girl, Wash your face. Tying in with #9, perhaps more modern and relatable, and no less important. I have to admit I haven’t finished this one yet…but I listen to Rachel’s podcast daily and really love her. This book and her message has made her a household name very very quickly this past year. Enjoy it!

11) Lucky Bitch. Denise was one of the first business/money mindset mentors during my shift away from corporate America ideals. I loved her irreverent style, and she’s just so good at getting to the root of what may be holding us back–from abundance, success according to our definitions, and her definitions are often in 6 figures. She’s always leading the way for powerful women coaches and online marketers, and tapping into her abundance teachings will serve you well.

12) One beautiful dream. This is not at all saved for the end because of it’s lack of importance. This book had a huge impact on my heart when I read it. For many of us, business and our family goals and priorities go together–They certainly have to be in alignment, and I love Jen’s take on it. I think it’s a perfect final note for you to end on, as you’ve built your business to something you’re proud of, and you embrace and see how your own deepest values, and family life, actually inspires and contributes to your greatest inspirations and successes. Cheers!!

WHEW! This list is absolutely guaranteed to change your life. 

PODCASTS: So here’s the tricky thing for me about my podcast recommendations. I think it’s good to be 100% sure of the content and aware of the full package when recommending something. With the books, I’ve read them all cover to cover. With these podcasts, I haven’t listened to every single eposide, and it’s possible there are some real duds or things I wouldn’t wholeheartedly agree with or recommend. With a podcast, you’re letting someone into your life to influence you little by little, casually and easily, so I feel that it’s a more delicate relationship. However, these 5 are ones that I have a general sense of, have benefitted alot from myself, and I think you will soak up not only their truth bombs and wisdom, but also their personalities, humor and how much EASE they bring to their own passion. I guarantee a regular diet of these will LIGHT YOU UP.

 

Rachel Hollis, RISE. (her book is above)….just so down to earth, scatterbrained, smart, willing to try anything, talk to anyone, figure anything out. Her path hasn’t been straightforward and she oozes gratitude and wisdom nuggets like you wouldn’t believe. Enjoy her!

Jenna Kutcher, GOAL DIGGER. She is fun, fiesty, fiery, straight-talking and will take you on a wild ride through the layers of a multi-million dollar online marketing guru lifestyle!

Tony Robbins. Seriously one of the most larger-than-life human beings alive today. I can’t even prepare you for what he will do to shape your mind and heart with his truths…BUT–here’s the thing…now his podcast is sometimes outsourced and run/led by others–not cool–so be sure to find the REAL Tony Robbins and just eat it all up.

Brendon Burchard. I’ve spent the least time with his podcast, and some of his hacks haven’t been that great for me…but his book is solid gold, and I know he’s really the main coach working with and learning from the best of the best, so definitely keep him close to you for ideas…and healthy kicks when you get lazy or off-course.

Sarah Robbins. She is just one of the most incredible humans in the industry of social marketing. I think you’re going to be so drawn to her story, her deep faith, her incredible heart of vision, purpose, service and the bigger picture. She’s forever changed the landscape of online and social marketing for our generation, and you will probably cry during her episodes, I know I do, that’s how real, and important and beautiful her topics are.

 

I hope you enjoy these all–I know it’s alot to sink your teeth into, but regular podcast listening, a book a month, you’ll be on your way to a beautiful mindset shift that will shape and empower your business in ways you never knew were possible!

And connect with me if you feel that adding in regular coaching with me in the first year would support your highest goals and habits!

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Summer self care…2018 edition

Summer Self Care — 2018 Edition

“You can optimize your overall energy quotient in life if you choose to. And perhaps this is our ultimate duty since our vibrancy ultimately dictates how we work, love, move, worship, relate and lead…Make improving your energy a commitment…Choose to bring joy to your everyday life experience.”

-Brendon Burchard

from his chapter “Generate Energy” in High Performance Habits.

Friends. This topic is quite close to my heart. I have, from 6 years ago, gone from being someone who really had no familiarity with concepts of self-care, or if pressed, might have said “that sounds selfish,” or “I’m too stressed/busy/hustling to care about all of that”…to being a huge advocate for it.

Rightly understood, self-care is proper management of our natural resources: making sure we have energy, mental stamina and proper personal resources to undertake and do well the things that are our callings, our daily work. It’s about being aware of what we need to do to be our best, and then doing it, daily. We mostly realize when it’s lacking and we head towards the cliff of “burnout” whether in a career setting, or as a mom who’s stretched too thin, or in having frayed relationships, feeling stuck, unable to keep up the current pace, depression, exhaustion—it’s a bleak but very real list.

Been there.

I let myself get there when I had one little beautiful sweetheart (Emma was 1 ½ years old) and a very demanding career. I struggled in the tension between being the kind of mother I wanted to be, and being all-in for my work, which kept me on urgent deadlines at all hours, and enduring long commutes the 3 days a week that I went into the office.

I was taking on more than I could handle and felt myself splitting apart, but didn’t know how to say NO, or where, or how to make life re-balance. I certainly wasn’t saying “yes” to the kind of strong personal habits that are needed when life is crazy busy. Getting by on caffeine and a prayer only lasts for so long….

Well, God allowed some big things to change, fast, to wake me up to the reality that things needed to change, for our family. And it had to start with me.

That story has been told more fully elsewhere, and it’s on the about page of this site because it’s the true seed of hope and energy that led to this work and this humble online home.

I had to start from square one with managing my stress levels, taking care of my health, learning about what filled me up and made me happy, taking time for myself without feeling guilty when it might be time away from my little one/ones…I’m proud to be a continued work in progress.

Fast forward to last summer, 2017. I had 3 happy and busy kids under 7.  Ambrose was 7 months old when we did a big move, and then it was summertime and I was knee-deep in postpartum life, in trying to create new household rhythms that worked, keeping him on a great napping schedule (thank God, but how to keep the toddler sister out of his room?) and 2 fun amazing busy little ladies who were bottomless pits of summer fun and begging for crafts, swimming, playdates, all of it.

Needless to say, I began to be stretched a little thin. I realized, that even with my strong habits of self care, sometimes the summer months can just demand more of us: kids stay up later, we might try to fill the days full, or depending on what you do, different kid’s schedules, more work travel perhaps, or more social engagements and weekend travel. What starts as fun “sleeping in, no routines, let’s play all day or do summer stuff!” turns into endless hours of un-managed and therefore sometimes challenging time. The question at the end of it all is whether you feel recharged, rested and fulfilled.

And that’s when I learned that summer is a great time to try out new habits—to see what supports you best.

5:30am workouts to get out of the house and sweat long before the kids are awake? Worth a try as the sun rises. Evening walks as a family, or alone? Weekend routines shifted to prioritize different healthy habits? The time is there.

And because travel throws fun mayhem into schedules, it’s wonderful to challenge yourself to find and stick with simple habits that support your mental, physical, spiritual health, that are also flexible to work with a vacation or varied schedule. That could be as simple as keeping yourself energized and at your best with your on-the-go supplement routine (my go-to for travels), a daily kombucha, healthy snacks, etc.

Whatever it is that you’re up to, I’m sure your summer is a departure from routines, and sometimes that can leave us lacking in the basics of: regular exercise, eating well (does sangria count as a fruit serving?🤣), and getting appropriate down-time and moments to truly recharge. (You know when folks complain about needing a vacation after vacation? What’s that about…? Could it be poor planning or not being clear on how best to spend those hours of vacay?).

So, what can we do to create strong, positive and appropriate summer self-care routines?

To start with, it’s good to look at the overall goals, priorities and daily schedule that would be ideal for you. Who needs you at your best (besides you!) and how do you create that? How do you use the days well, when the hours can be so fluid? What should we say NO to, as well as what do we say YES to?

Perhaps it’s getting up earlier, with the sun, for a walk or workout. Perhaps it’s actually getting to some of those books on your reading list from January, the ones from New Year’s resolution “read more” season. Perhaps it’s about intentional social time, more mindful (seasonal) shopping and eating, or any number of things that you know will help bring more balance and joy to your every day.

I asked a wonderful group of holistic minded and wise mommas to speak up about their thoughts on good summer self care habits. Yes, these are geared to motherhood but I think the kernels of them apply well to all walks of life. Moms/parents might just need/get an extra intense dose of self-care to go along with summer parenting, along with a side of stress relief.

These mommas spoke about:

*Daily walks. With or without babies/kids especially in the morning hours (makes sense, as it sets our mental and physical energy for the day to get out and move).

*Intentional social time. With longer days and more open schedules, it can be easier sometimes to coordinate park play dates, pool gatherings, BBQs, cocktail nights, or beach/lake hangouts (can you tell what my priorities are?:).

These can be truly rejuvenating in so many ways. But, they can also be wearing in large amounts//no time limits (what am I saying, recovering extrovert that I am?) so be wise about scheduling 1-2 big socials thing per day, and perhaps build in recharge time in between.

*Rest/quiet. Another wonderful recurring theme that reinforced what I have come to realize my little tribe needs: siesta hour. In the hottest part of the day, slow the pace, be indoors or someplace cool, reading, napping, resting, quiet. In my opinion we should embrace siestas as a cultural norm, and just let people go home/relax/power nap/read/change their pace. As all the research pours in, those down times and key rest moments make us MORE productive when we’re working and better focused in going about our life.

Here’s an example of what my ideal Siesta time looks like:

Easy and delicious salad (from a whole foods kit, no guilt when you’re busy). Girls are currently resting/reading/approved screen time…and Ambrose is napping. I’m reading something that is supportive to my overall life (High Performance Habits). Fun/free reading like novels are great too, I just tend to save those for evening when I’m winding down in bed. OK, and sometimes I power nap too, leaving dishes and laundry for other appropriate moments of the day–this is about recharging by body, mind and spirit so I can mother well the rest of the afternoon.

What are the habits that make your summer days wonderful, restful and meaningful? I hope you’ll take a moment to share in the comments so that others can be encouraged and inspired. Some of the best of these we can take with us into the fall.

Here are a few more that have served me well—I add to the list often because you can’t have too many good habits, right?

*Books that expand your personal vision and help develop certain parts of you—this is the time to expand, explore, imagine what a life could look like where you’re even more content and happy—check out this list for starters and share your favorite summer inspiration reads!

I like this as a battle cry for summer, as well as wonderful late August reading.

*Embracing local eating. Just the very process of heading to a farmers’ market, or a local farmstand, or wherever you’ll get those seasonal fruits and veggies is so exhilarating (ok, just me?) and makes our bodies hum at another level! Even if it’s seeking out farm-to-table dining when eating out. It’s so rewarding to experience the richest tastes and flavors of your local season. We did our own garden for the 2nd year in a row, and that was a game changer for me—garden care became self-care in a way as we adjusted to, appreciated and worked with the rhythms of growing things, that would then ultimately land on our table. (Our garden process is getting its own post very soon.) Let me know below if you find seasonal eating supports your overall vibrancy and rhythms.

*Quiet/reflection time in power spots and nature. I love having a beautiful spot connected to nature (this year I hauled the porch furniture out to be in the grass with yard views all around and grass between my toes). Once a day if possible, head to this spot—a blanket in nature? A hike? A local beach or lake?—See if you can unplug and soak up the beauty and the tranquility that’s offered. It’s actually become a known game changer in the struggle against anxiety that we’re facing as life gets faster and faster as a culture. This article shares a powerful take on that “call to nature” we all feel and are ready to respond to.

*Unplug. Yes, this is a tough one at times but so crucial for our mental habits! It could be a screen free day each week, or just building in stricter time limits for yourself. I developed better night time habits very intentionally early in the summer: airplane mode after 10pm (latest, sometimes earlier), no phone in the bedroom which can lead to endless scrolling and connecting at all hours. In the morning, do some meaningful, productive and positive things (see miracle morning post from last summer here) before getting onto social media and email.

Turns out this is more than just self-care—these are habits for ideal performance, and mental thriving.

*More sleep. Another great one that is looked down on in our “hustle more”/workaholic society—-give yourself permission, guilt free, to get an extra hour of sleep during the summer nights…you may be amazed what a difference it makes, and how energized you feel when waking up with the sun, after a full night sleep. Research shows just how bad the sleep deprivation has become in our society—we’re all able to reverse that in our own lives—and create a ripple effect of rested, happier, people. Have you tried this?

Brendon Burchard really challenged me on this front in his book High Performance Habits, and since working on getting into bed earlier to read and wind down, I’ve experienced incredible improvements in sleep quality, enjoyment of my evening reading (because I’m not on the brink of exhaustion when I start), and incredible morning energy when rising with the light/sunshine. Is it possible this sworn night owl is fully transforming into a morning person? It remains to be seen, but it’s been a fun transition for the season and I love how things have shifted for me in terms of morning routines as well.

Even on days you can’t sleep more, this simple restorative yoga posture will reset your circadian rhythms and is the equivalent of a 2 hour nap for your nervous system–I often end up in this posture in my son’s bedroom while he falls asleep peacefully in his crib–it’s a moment to meditate, reflect with gratitude on the day, etc. Sometimes, self-care is snuck into the most normal of moments, and that’s what makes it a effective and life-changing.

*Detox bath or shower. Sometimes, as a parent, the idea of being left alone for 20 minutes is just blissful. Heck, for any of us who are bombarded with communication 24/7. So leave the phone aside, grab a book, and take a epsom salt bath (or herbal steam shower—no book obvs) in the evenings (add baking soda if you’re wanting to detox well from the radiation exposure that happens on flights—it’s a real thing and my husband’s cool client is to be credited for turning us onto it)…throw in some lavender, orange or other calming essential oils, and you’re sure to be in a different mental/emotional state when you finish.

*Schedule things that make you happy—at least once a week. It doesn’t have to be just a trip to the salon (those are always great!)—but find the things that really light you up, make a list, and make them happen. For me, it’s exploring new places/towns with my kids, or sitting in new settings (coffee shops, book stores), running, coffee with a friend…whatever it is, it doesn’t have to be a caribbean vacation for it to totally change your perspective on life and the week. Anticipating these can be almost half the enjoyment! Evening yoga classes are one such juicy treat for me—when I get to do mindful movement and relinquish one dinner/bath/bedtime…it’s the little things, right?

And for those who aren’t parents—-just take an evening out of your normal routine and you’ll be amazed at how fun it is. Picnic in the park with a concert, evening walk, it’s all available to us.

As I was reflecting on and working on this article (trying to really live it myself this summer, in the midst of travels, full weeks and more)…I came to connect with another awesome current read—the classic book on FLOW—this idea of a flow state. It’s something desirable that we’re all eager to connect with, and we feel it’s linked to our happiness. Well, I believe that self-care habits that bring our vibrancy and joy up daily are a part of tapping into this flow—whether in work, vocation, parenting, living. Here’s a fun quote that may get you thinking, and I encourage you to check out the book as well!

“How we feel about ourselves, the joy we get from living, ultimately depends directly on how the mind filters and interprets everyday experience. Whether we are happy depends on inner harmony, not on the controls we are able to exert over the great forces of the universe…”

-Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, FLOW “The psychology of optimal experience”

And to this end, the way in which we’re able to create valuable self-care habits—can change and improve our experiences of our lives, our relationships, the ways we’re called to share our talents and serve, the purpose of existence, and more, all from starting with what we’re given—the energy and ability to design our days. It’s a hint of that Flow state that is so desirable, when we understand that happiness comes from being connected to a larger purpose and energy, rather than any singular experience or material good.

Does this all fit well together for you? Or bring up important questions?

I’m curious to hear your thoughts, as we all explore these topics together—the philosophy behind why it matters, and the practical habits that make our days flow.

Stay tuned for a super fun #septemberselfcare challenge we’re launching for all of you!

Click above (top of page) to join my email list so you don’t miss the announcements…and contact me below if you want to consider a 20 min free health & self-care assessment with yours truly, as we head into a new season…or take this quick health quiz here and we’ll connect about your goals and personalized quiz results!

I live in gratitude for you and the examples you set for me. Self-care is not selfish, it’s how we give our best. Radical self-care for radical service is a motto that came to me a few years back and just suits how I’ve come to understand this topic. Just ask Mother Teresa why in her daily schedule for her sisters, she builds in ample moments for their meals, their prayer, their midday rest in addition to their hours out caring for the poor and sick. That’s a beautiful example to follow, and I’m challenged daily to find that proper rhythm for myself…so everyone in my life can also benefit.

x

maddy

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Spring Race Recap: Reflections on Endurance Training and How It Shapes My Life

Dedicating this post to the amazing friends who’ve supported me on my journey of falling in love with training and running races; and who’ve witnessed to me with their own lives the power of this process in creating motivated, goal oriented phases that benefit and shape lives in so many ways. Specifically: Samantha, Mary, Claire and Annie, who’s also editing this for me. Truly, deeply grateful. And thanks to all of you who checked in on me and made sure I was excited and motivated and felt good–it was so touching, and I know I needed it!

Yesterday, I completed another half marathon!! The sight of the finish line has truly never been sweeter, and I was even more grateful this time to be able to run and take on this challenge, seeing another training cycle to completion.

Today, I’m going to try to touch on the overview/prep I did for this race and give a little race day recap. But before I do that, I need to share my musings on why I feel strongly about setting fitness goals as a part of creating a happy, successful and productive life–moving us towards the goals that matter to us–in all aspects, not just in fitness.

I get asked all the time–but WHY do you like running half marathons? And the answer really lies in something that I’ve discovered and continued to uncover along the way. Namely, I become a better version of myself through testing my mental and physical limits in these ways (within reason, of course, and with a strong support team making sure I stay injury free and enjoying it all).

Brendon Burchard, in his book High Performance Habits, says: “If the demands of your job or life require you to learn fast, deal with stress, be alert, pay attention, remember important things, and keep a positive mood, then you must take exercise more seriously. If you care about your contributions to the world, you’re care for yourself.”

Sounds like most of our lives! And what a straightforward solution, right?

And deep down, many of us know this to be true. Now, I am a huge fan of in home workouts, regular routines, gym classes that you can fit around your schedule, etc, but it’s also powerful to test oneself and one’s limits, both physically and mentally. That’s what endurance sports and events represent to me. After all, isn’t that what life often demands of us, whether we’ve trained or not? And with energy and positivity, what can’t we focus on and handle?

For me, as I came to half marathon training after becoming a mother (my first one was done when my eldest daughter was 2), it was also about witnessing to myself and to my family just how strong I could be, for myself and for them. And in the process of facing the challenges, the ups and downs, highs and lows of a race training cycle, I would face and conquer hidden fears, learn about myself, and be prepared to face other parts of life with more discipline, focus, gratitude (for strength), and an understanding of how to make progress towards those bigger life goals we have.

Now, for some people, swimming might be a smarter, low impact sport, my dad is an endurance cyclist and I’ve always admired folks who were into that as well. For me, running as been my passion, and not without challenges to continue—since in the past 5 years I’ve run 4 halfs and had 2 babies–I used to just say if I can run a half after/between each kid I’ll be happy with that–and so far that’s proven to be a good focal point for my overall fitness habits, postpartum recovery etc–more on that in an entirely seperate post. I’ve been able to run up to 34/35 weeks pregnant with my 2 most recent babies (shorter distances) and that has helped so much with regaining strength and motivation for recovery afterward.

Distance running is a form of meditation and mindfulness. Sure, I like to track my stats and set goals, negative splits and all of that, but it’s important to be able to just run for the sheer joy of moving, of celebrating life, humanity, an act of gratitude and prayer. I find that I can come back to my kids and my life my grounded and grateful after a long run–especially in nature. When the going gets tough, I’ll often turn to forms of prayer–rosary, etc–for perspective and pacing.

Training for a half is like any stretch goal in any area of life. It can seem super daunting on paper, and we need to show up with our base level of fitness/functioning…but then break down the goal into bite sized chunks, weekly mileage goals and a training plan with incremental increases/growth, and all of a sudden, it becomes simple as can be.

Often, once we’ve broken down the goal to manageable chunks, it really becomes a mental game. Can we talk ourselves into or out of our goal, the process, the enjoyment of it, the testing of ourselves with grace. This year, I was facing sub zero temps when I needed to be training, and a month before the race, I ran a 9 miler in mid 30’s weather. That was tough, but it reminded me of just how often we find reasons why the goal doesn’t matter, or can’t be met.

And sometimes we just have to let our commitment to the goal, and to ourselves, be stronger than any of that.

As I think about it: so much of life is about playing for a long game and an end goal that is not close by. Mothering for example–talk about a marathon, not a sprint! Like an 18 year marathon 🙂 And with owning a small business, I often have to look at my growth and focus on the future in large/stretch goal terms, and then break down those big goals into bite size pieces to figure out how we will get there (and you all have been AMAZING as we’ve built this biz and brand).

I’m sure you can all give great examples from your own lives, of how these skills of patience, perseverance, mindful goal setting and more can come in handy. I get a huge rush out of completing the goal that I’ve worked towards, and even more so when I can model it for my kids and remind them that with proper planning and hard work, amazing things are possible.

Racing with Kids:

Tying into all that I shared above, I have found that the past few years, its been wonderful to include the girls in doing their own kids event on race weekend. The races we’ve done down on the Jersey shore with friends, and this local one–wisely– have a kids fun run tied into the weekend activities, and it really works on several levels.

First, it helps us all to be excited and counting down: we talk about what I’m working toward with my race, and we do some mini running sessions with them beforehand (nothing major) to build confidence and get them excited. Secondly, we can all inspire each other. Their enthusiasm and stick-with-it ness when they are racing inspires me in my running, and they get to stand at the start line (and finish line) and see their mom facing her fears and going for something that matters to her, and it makes all of us enjoy it more!

It SO helps to have a very supportive spouse–my husband does enjoy running shorter distances, but often sacrifices in terms of managing the kids on race day so we can all be together–for that I’m so grateful, and this year having it be a local race just down the road, helped so much! But destination races are fun too! The organizers who run the race events are getting smarter about making it a very family friendly experience.

I want my girls to enjoy challenging themselves, setting goals, moving with joy, and caring more about what their bodies can do than about what they look like. We’re exposing them to a lot of different sports right now–swimming, running, tennis, soccer–you know—things they can do their whole lives–as well as gymnastics and more. I just want them to be able to always come back to the deep level confidence that being healthy and competing against yourself and the clock can bring!

Training Backstory:

I LOVE the discipline and focus of a good training cycle, I’ve been doing that pattern now for 4 years: 3 halfs and 1 5-miler when I was 17 weeks pregnant with Ambrose ;). Spring races on the calendar  help motivate me in those early days of the year. In this case, I was waitlisted for this race because it’s small and very popular, and I had almost given up on the idea, but then I emailed the guy and made a last ditch, eloquent explanation of us as new to the town, and excited about the race–unaware of the crazy fast sell out on Jan 1, etc. He wrote back right away and said yes, of course, he always saves a few spots for newbies to town (the race attracts mostly from outside/even other states)…and just like that I was in…and facing the decision and opportunity on March 23rd for doing a race exactly 6 weeks later!

My baseline had been 5 miles for a few months, so my training cycle shown below would not be recommended for first timers/newbies or anyone worried about injuries–I kept a close eye on things with the amazing support of my reflexologist a and PT!

This was my rough training plan…I followed it pretty much exactly. And did yoga, pilates, stretching and an occasional short mid week run (3 or less).

Race Day Recap: May 6, 2018

After a fun and gloriously sunny and warm First Communion day on May 5, with many family and friends celebrating with us, the 6th was cold and drizzly–the kind of Sunday morning that you really wouldn’t mind staying in bed for ;). Joel and I roused the kids and threw on their race gear, and I fueled up with breakfast and my hydrate/energy tea combo, and then we drove the less than half mile to the farm where the events were taking place.

The girls had been complaining about getting out of bed so early but when we pulled into the farm and saw the cows, the finish line, and all the excited runners, they became all smiles and energy! Corinne insisted on running with her cow bell and her piglet stuffed animal (swag), and I loved her for it. We headed up to the barnyard and they did a prompt 7:30 start–we were off!

The kids’ race was entirely on the farm property, a half mile distance of rolling hills–I let them pace and little sis was out in front, with older sister worried about getting a side ache (she’s gotten them before) and we just encouraged her to keep going at a steady pace, and even though she got a tiny one, it was in the final downhill and she was able to push through it–and she didn’t want Corinne getting too far away from her either! That served as my perfect warm up jog, and we had so much fun with grandma and papa waiting at the finish line too before they took off for home.

My race started out on the farm as well, and when we reached the first sign that said “Hill 1 of 15” we all got that excited and sinking feeling–“here goes nothing!” Since I live right next to the course, I’ve trained on it, and that helped in some regards–but definitely more fun with a nice group of runners (it’s a small race, they cap it well). Apparently, Joan Benoit Samuelson, famous for winning the first Olympic Gold the year they introduced women’s marathon running, was with us–I saw her cap in the front when someone pointed it out to me.

At mile 1 or so, the rain started. These are the beautiful, scenic, winding roads that I love in this town, and it was so fun that the race took us on some I drive or run often, and also on back roads that I’ve never before discovered! I didn’t take many photos during this time–I was trying to keep my phone dry.

Around mile 5, I decided to start chatting with some folks who were pacing with me. See, I know from experience that miles 5-9 can be the most challenging mentally (and therefore that can translate to slower speeds, or being unsure of whether you’ll “make it”)–by mile 9, I always know–OK, I’m gonna finish, and get an extra boost.

Well, I started making small talk with a nice guy named Keith, and with a lady Melanie, and then later with Jah who was also the pacer for my ideal finishing time–so I was motivated to keep her in my sights! Those rainy, mostly flat miles really few by, and then around mile 8 the rain stopped, and then the hills started! I think that there were 7 hills—ranging from short to long–in the final 5 miles of the race. It made it pretty intense in terms of wondering how much you had left to give, testing the edge, and then on the downhills, working to stride well and make up times lost on the uphills.

We also wound into the beautiful town state park, had a water station there, and ran right up to the beach in Topstone Park. That was a fun change of pace, and a lot of runners rushing by in both directions make for a nice energy boost. I had finished my electrolyte drink, had part of a snack bar, and then grabbed some jelly beans from this station–which give that nice rush for the final miles. I also turned on my music which I don’t always run with, but I had a feeling it would be key for the hilly miles 10-12…and sure enough, it helped. I listened to my MIKA radio station on Pandora and then we had some great sideline support on those final hills–folks cheering for us and saying “you’re almost done”…amazing how much you need that when you’re in the last reserves and I was trying to pick up my pace and do some negative splits at the end too…Which I did for miles 10-12.

When the final sign–Hill 15 of 15 passed and we thought that it was all down hill to the farm finish, there was a feeling of sheer joy—but I know the race organizer enough to know that he thought it would be funny for there to be one more tiny uphill—so yes, on the other side of that we could see the turn in to the farm and we were pumping down to the barn yard and around the corner to the fun finish line.

I just checked the total elevation gain and it was 979 feet. Woah. So of course I’m convincing a few friends, my dad, and others to do it with me next year (and there’s a 7 mile option too!).

I knew the hills would be tough, the rain added an extra layer of mental challenge, but at the end of it, the finish line was SO sweet, and I felt on top of the world. Not to mention the flowers, fun medals, free massage and PT right at the finish line, and local places offering us coffee, donuts, pizza, and some fun finish line tunes.

The best part was probably being able to walk home from the finish line (less than half mile away) carrying a box full of fun race food for my fam, and the girls had run a hot bath for me….heaven.

All in all, a great race day. I didn’t win in my age group, or even close, but that wasn’t my goal. I felt strong, focused, amazing and injury free. So grateful that I can enjoy this sport of running after 3 kids–and will continue to encourage family and friends to challenge ourselves, knowing the journey is just as important as the end goal!

I often get asked what tools and support and tips I have for others who want to start training for runs–especially moms (yep, I’ve done the past few half marathons while breastfeeding;))-so that info is here in another post. I would love to discuss what is inspiring you and how you too might be able to set a stretch goal that is right for you, and see it to completion!

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I’m working on my next important post: some reflections/over-arching themes of postpartum fitness, from my own journey (vulnerability overload, you’ve been warned), and sharing in what others tell me are their unique joys and challenges. I do believe being a mother encourages us to find strengths that we never knew we had, and this avenue for testing and reminding ourselves of that strength is indeed a great gift. It will look slightly different for every person, but we all have ways to continue testing our physical and mental limits, for the development of ourselves as humans.

Thanks for reading to the end, and I hope you’ll share below your own stories of the races you’ll always remember, and the people you became along the journey to the finish line.

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4 Quick ways to Declutter your schedule for joyful, grounded living

Photo by Andrew Galligan Photography.

This is a topic that is very close to home indeed.

I am converting from being chronically busy, over planner, over committed, running around lady…to someone who truly enjoys an afternoon at home with my kids, no plans, or a morning with space for peaceful strolls, errands, and a few work moments from my phone, but with ample time to explore new places or just let the kids be kids. I savor the slowness of some days, and still mix it up with energized out and about days…but overall, we’re chasing slow, as part of our move to a slower pace that happened 6 months ago.

It’s been incredible to watch a shift in the culture for many of us, as we wake up and realize that busyness has been glorified, we feel guilty, boring or unmotivated if we have space in our life? How and why did we let ourselves get so busy with individually good activities and commitments, and then over-whelmed by it, in a vicious cycle…to the point where we’re spending more time out of our homes than in it, or hours of carpool/drop offs? Or for single folks, how did work and other commitments mean that you have less than 7 hours a day in your own dwelling or for your own pursuits!

I’m learning from children.. life outside of a schedule.

You know how kids can go to a playground or out in the yard and play for hours; literally lose track of time? What a gift.

For someone like me, that’s challenging but a blessed reminder that our days are not just about checking off tiny boxes, but about expansive BEING in the moment. In each moment that is given to us.

So, clearing the schedule is like inviting magic back in, and letting yourself get curious, what will the day bring?

Potentially, you may get lost in an activity that you’re passionate about, you can, thanks to your newly prioritized life.

This is my first time writing out these new principles of living, so share your thoughts with me, and we’ll keep embracing this new life together, the life of “chasing slow“.

  1. This is one that’s helped me tremendously…to clear mental space and enjoy the days more: Menu Plan, and shop the plan. It doesn’t sound ground breaking and it doesn’t have to be fancy. For whatever reason, having that set up on Sunday when you go into the week, can change everything about the flow of Monday and the week ahead. I love a good menu planner/shopping list template, and I snatched up a similiar one at anthropology earlier this year, which helps us tremendously, to not only cut down on mental space, but on frequent pesky trips to the store…such a time suck!–but to also better use the things we get from the store. I also strategically use Blue Apron.
  2. Look at your schedule for the week, with potential obligations, and do 1-2 LESS than you had already committed to on each day (and I don’t mean flake out on people)…On the days when things are packed, even with the good stuff, we tend to enjoy it all less because we’re thinking logistics…getting from point A to B. It’s a luxury to be able to savor and enjoy each activity without having to think ahead or worry about squeezing things in. I’m learning this lesson, and it helps tremendously. I’ll look at my week ahead and slash or move things around in my planner to allow 30 min to 1 hours in btwn…does anyone else do this? It’s a true joy to not always be rushing.
  3. Batch your errands. This is like #1…so obvious but so helpful when implemented. If you have to run to the post office, do the grocery run then too, or wait and do all your errands on specific days and times of the week when you know it’s a lower productivity timeslot for you. You can take a great quiz here if you’re someone who has flexible work or just needs to figure out when they are most productive. Plus…we live in an era of online shopping, and I’ll share another post with my top 10 time-savers using sites, while also being able to indulge in local, conscious consumption
  4. Finally…while saying NO to over-scheduling, overwhelm, constant running around, you’re saying YES to meaningful moments with friends, and loved ones. Schedule in the social time as much as you schedule the other stuff. This is a large part of what we look forward to when looking at our planners, day by day, and, according to Blue Zones author Dan Beuttner, is an important indicator of how long we will live, and how healthy we will be.

What do you do to create space, peace and joy in your week? #slowisthenewbusy

 

I know for myself, as I’ve begun saying yes to less…I’ve thought alot about what I’m creating space FOR…and those priorities help drive the motivation for the rest of it to be simpler. We discuss that and so much more in my Life by Design course starting in the new year…I hope you’ll join us!

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Life lessons my children are teaching me right now

Oh my goodness.

This moment in time is one I want to remember for many many years to come. My 3 littles are these incredibly beautiful, blossoming ages, and I just am blown away by all that they are doing, becoming, and how much they are showing me about life, and the many facets of what it means to be alive, and to be in the present moment, while embracing growth. So much is learned from these simple, beautiful, un-tamed hearts. Sure, they make me crazy and some days, exhausted, but I decided for this post to share with you my focus on the incredible lessons that they are teaching me, and for myself, so that it sinks in deeply and I can treasure these lessons for what they are…beautiful gifts from God, who is always putting the people in our lives (literally, plopped into my body and heart) to teach us needed lessons about life and love, and becoming more of who we are truly meant to be.

Emma L. Pidel

My eldest girl, my absolute joy, she’s a ray of warmth and lightness and is so sensitive to beauty, to others, to sadness, she’s like a beautiful wildflower, growing in the sun, but delicately battered by rain. I remember even as a baby, how sensitive she was to the world around her, and that challenged and stretched me at the time, and it continues to! She’s never happier than when creating–primarily with color and paper (art of any media) but also now with writing; her stories, imaginary games and worlds become the focus of the other children, and we all get swept up into them, so powerful is her imagination and her desire to make it real.

The other day she said to me, coming from out of the blue, or perhaps when I was brushing off something that had happened in the midst of a busy moment…”Mom. but it’s OK to feel sad. You can’t just be happy and feel positive all the time.” Those words hit deeply with me and I realized that she needed to see another side of me from time to time. She knows that I have my down moments, as we all do, and she was encouraging me to let that be part of my mothering, rather than putting on a good face and mustering along. What wisdom of spirit! And that vulnerability chosen as strength is where Emma so excels, and where she teaches me so much. She may be little (she’s always been one of the most petite ladies for her age) but she shines so brightly due to her generosity and her desire to expand other’s hearts and their deep joy–all while telling them (and us)–it’s OK, you don’t have to be happy all the time…that’s not how life works. Her melancholic understanding of life coupled with her trained optimism that we’re always working on, is something that inspires me daily, and that I know will richly bless so many others.

Corinne E. Pidel

Oh, my spitfire. Every since she popped into the world on July 5th, weighing in at 9lbs 12 oz, my little firecracker has been making sure that people notice her in every way, every day. Sometimes, that takes ugly temper-tantrum on the sidewalks form, but other times it means she runs into her school and her entire class comes and hovers around her, eager to hear what she has to say, and to follow her around (I kid you not). We’re always working on the leadership side of things and channeling all that CEO mentality she’s already got bottled up inside her. Believe me, she wants to, and probably could run the household for a day if I let her…and I’m tempted but I know in just a few years she’ll be such a brilliant lady to have on my team, so we’re always navigating the sources of power, in all ways large and small. She teachers me, with her fiercely beautiful stubborn streak, that we should STAND UP and fight for what matters to us, large or small, and to know deep down what it is that we want, and what we are about in the world.

She has a piercing sense of fairness and the need to keep agreements in place, so I watch, and marvel, as this little human navigates all the people, situations and environments that she has in front of her. She takes risks whenever possible–OK, sounds like someone else we know. But her enthusiasm and confidence are at such heights when she’s flipping on the playground or trampolining across my living room on these winter eves–she truly marvelously pushes herself to go further, faster, harder, and boy, don’t we all need a little bit of that drive and energy sometimes? Since she has a tender heart under her tougher exterior, I learn much from her about finding little ways and opportunities to let love shine through; it’s not going to look the same for all of us; and in her case, sometimes love looks like laying down clear boundaries and even a few rules, with much explanation of course.

She’s finding her way with full force, and I am so humbled that I get to be her mommy and learn so much patience, trust and peace along the way. Being 4 and trying to understand all that life throws at us is TOUGH. In fact, it’s tough no matter what the age. We can’t always just lay down and have a good cry, but being OK with that reality and the mystery of our power to shape our existence, is certainly always something to grapple with. She’s taught me this, and so, so so much more.

I have no doubt she’ll be a CEO, or running her own company, or non-profit, or doing some other such incredible things some day, and I’ll look back and smile and chuckle over all those moments when she lost it because she couldn’t understand why she wasn’t in charge of the whole show at age 4.

Ambrose. J.T. Pidel

Oh, my babe. I start to tear up when I rock him for his naps and think about the fact that he’s growing up, he doesn’t really need me in the way that he used to, a year ago. This year has been SUCH a gift and he’s taught me some incredible lessons. His gentle, loving, upbeat and fun personality is contagious-how he is in turn affects his sisters and their moods, and it affects me.

He’s constantly smiling at us to get us to smile back, and he now has this sweet trick where he’ll come running over and pull on me until I sit and cozy up with him on the couch, and he’ll sit contentedly in my lap, chatting away and telling me (in gibberish) everything that he’s thinking about, complete with serious facial expressions and chuckles. He’s teaching me, with his absolutely fearless and fierce nature, to push ahead towards the things that are beyond me reach just yet, or are hard for me. That’s how we learn, that’s how we grow.

Seeing him tackle obstacles like the nearest chair, or navigating getting down a flight of stairs (hint; It ends well), he does so smiling widely, and when he falls, he just grins and goes right back at it. Isn’t that all that many of us can aspire to be like, failing forward and seeing the bumps and bruises of life, as a sign that we’re on the right path and we’re learning, it’s not supposed to be perfect and seemly, and together all the time. And his sweet fascination with literally everything that comes across his path or sight reminds me to dive in more deeply to understand  how something works and why it came to be. He reminds me that I love phemonelogy for this reason…the power of experiencing an object and the joy, suprrise and all that it gives.

He’s teaching me to love and give second chances no matter what history is there (with his sisters rough housing him) and his beautiful wide open approach to welcoming the new day—running off to explore something new with sheer delight at being alive. Yes, I’m learning so much from him too, and it’s all so wonderful to watch unfold.

These children, grace and hope are abundant in their spirits, may they always live the deep and bright mysteries of the present moment, as they are doing now. I’m so humbled and truly lucky to be their mother, and as much as I wake up and pray for the wisdom to guide and form them, they are teaching me lessons that are sinking deeply into my core and changing me.