Here we are, 1 month into ‘22. How are things shaping up for your year?They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit, and we’re at 31 days of working on new things for ‘22. How’s it feeling? What’s working, and where are you getting stuck? What’s on your heart to create more of? I’m here to support everything that you’re up to. Keep reading 😉
As you well know…80% of people will have given up on their new years resolutions by the 2nd week of Feb. And I know you’re on the other side of that stat, but perhaps you’re feeling a loss in motivation, and need a fresh perspective, mindset & some new tools to continue powering ahead towards your goals.Perhaps re-thinking how we set goals (vs building new habits) & setting up our feelings & intentions to align with those could be part of the issue…this is where a mindset coach comes in!
Mindset shifts lead to major life shifts. Thinking differently leads to acting differently, and getting different results.
One concept, if you’ve read the book Atomic Habits, is the idea that small positive changes that are relatively easy to do daily—without major resistance (which always appears when we’re trying to make positive life changes))—can then build into an upward spiral. We all know this is true. If we make a great first choice in the morning to workout before reaching for coffee, then we’re more likely to eat healthier during the day, have energy to be patient with our kids/coworkers/pets, and then make choices that lead us to go to bed early to do the whole thing over again tomm.This relates to the concept of microshifts—changing 1% of your day, or 15 minutes, to make the calls you’ve been putting off, or taking time to pray, to get in a mini workout, whatever it is, sometimes those simple shifts are what truly get us building momentum & soon we realize that we’re able to upgrade & shift alot of things in our day towards the life we envision.
Your ideal life & daily flow might be only a few microshifts away for you!
Another perspective on goals vs habits: Rather than focusing only on the stretch goal (run a marathon), we can focus in on the immediately do-able step towards the habit (get off the couch & go for a 30 min walk)…which can then, with consistency, become the habit that enables us to move daily & eventually, run that race! Perhaps along the way we realize that setting the goal of running a marathon was actually about feeling a certain level of fitness & daily satisfaction with working out…and the goal is about getting us to the habit, of the habitualized & intense fitness (which we can achieve with or without crossing the finish line).
What do you think of this? Does this help to shift the foucs on your stretch goals & focus instead on the habits, micro-shifts & processes that will get you closer to those goals?Keep scrolling down for some examples of some powerful microshifts I work with my life designers & inspired life clients on.I’m here for you. Onward & upward. Your dreams for ‘22 are real & deserve to be realized!
Want more of this (mindset work)? Consider doing the life design course or jumping into inspired life coaching with me. A fresh perspective & cheerleader—making your goals my own! Fill out this contact form below to discuss what will be best for you!
*Shout out of gratitude for my sister Annie who faithfully edits & improves these posts!*
Exactly a year ago, we signed the papers & grabbed the keys for our very own fixer upper home project, one that we knew would stretch & challenge us. In some ways, it’s a very good thing we didn’t know just how in over our heads we would feel last fall as we rushed to renovate most of the main spaces before moving in. We had no idea how it would all unfold, but we were excited & ready.
The good news is, here we are, a year later…so happy, so grounded and at home in this space that’s both old and new. It’s been a shelter & our true happy place during the turmoil of 2020. We’re thrilled with the progress we’ve made and always neck deep in the next project. Currently working on Phase II which is finishing the large basement & creating our ideal rec room, and finishing the mud room (garage entrance) and laundry space.
I sketched the outline for this post a year ago when I was fresh out of the late nights—staying up painting trim, welcoming crews each morning, and just generally in the thick of it. Even at that time, I could tell the experience was changing me and changing our family. But as with all things, it’s taken time for this post to go from a seed in my mind to germinated thoughts & experiences in full bloom.
Now, a full year later, I’m excited to take this anniversary as an opportunity to share some of these thoughts about our #pidelprojecthome (@pidelprojecthome).
Transformations require massive amounts of patience.
We live in a world of quick updates & slap-dash before/afters bombarding us from social media. Not everyone likes to acknowledge the slow process, the messy middle, the curveballs, the two-steps-forward-one-step-back that comes with real, beautiful, timeless transformations…of homes and of our hearts & selves.
2. It often has to look worse before it looks better.
Picture any house after the demo process of ripping everything out—piles of dust & old radiators, moldings, junk everywhere. We literally had four dumpsters for our project over the span of four months, slowly carting away old layers of the house to replace it with new.
It’s a bit like someone in the middle of a KonMari de-cluttering when all their belongings are laid out in piles on their floor. It can be hard to start these kinds of excavations of spaces and selves because we’re fearful of this element of the process. It quickly becomes larger than our control, and we have to surrender to the process itself, until with the lack of tidiness comes a true sense that big things are happening here. That’s when we have to lean in.
3. People won’t undertand the process and that’s okay.
During our intense nine-week timeframe for renovation (yes, we did it as a major sprint because we didn’t have to be living there during the time), I felt like we were in a bubble, a completely all-engrossing cloud, that others couldn’t really reach us in.
That was hard for me at first, and then I became at peace with it. Sometimes, when you’re committed to making big changes in your life, and you set out to take those actions, it will feel lonely at first. Things are shifting & the relationships in your life may change too. Not everyone will be able to relate to where you are and why you’re doing it. That’s okay. Once you move past the grief of this, it can be incredibly freeing.
And these times of intense growth can still allow for powerful relationships, it just has to be based on a new kind of communication and an acknowledgment of just how different things are. You need people who can love you where you’re at, as you evolve. Anyone who can relate to & stick with you through an intense growth phase is a keeper, a friend you will value more deeply than ever.
4. The vision is what will enable you to carry through the tough moments.
I talk a lot about vision boards. There’s something so important and powerful about creating a clear vision of where you’re headed. With design, it’s obviously an essential step to creating the new space, but it has a similar importance when we’re considering the future life that we’re creating for ourselves (and how our own personal work ties into that life vision).
It’s scary, but so powerful to put a visual up on a wall (yes, I’m a big believer in doing it old-school style for maximum daily connection) to remind yourself every day where you’re headed. Keeping eyes on that vision is your best chance to pulls through the tough moments when we wonder whether it’s all worth it.
5. The result of hard work is always beautiful, and you’re forever changed.
This one is so simple, but so powerful. When we sat up & rubbed the dust off (and took off our painting clothes), we looked at each other, my husband and I, and marveled at just how much we had changed, alongside the spaces we were working on.
Our hearts & our eyes can see when work has been poured into a space (or a personal transformation). The love and care & detail that went into it becomes its spirit. Same with our own inner work: the results show up in who we become and enter into every future interaction we have. It’s the BE-DO-HAVE model, lived out. In order to be ready to welcome our abundant beautiful life in our new home, it required us to allow ourselves to change first, before having what we had desired & envisioned. (More on this in my life design program if you’re intrigued)
6. Simplicity is always a good idea. Complicating things creates more excuses, mental clutter, & reasons for it not to work. Keep it simple.
This is just as true with personal growth as with an old home. Don’t overcomplicate things. Stay focused on the vision & the clear path that can get you there. Over-complicating things is usually a form of resistance—our brain & ego keeping us from just GOING FOR IT and going all in.
7. You will NOT do it alone.
Yes, you may experience loneliness as you realize that your former relationships aren’t carrying you in the same way on this courageous journey you’re on. But in reality, there will be key people who serve as inspiration, as mentors, as coaches, as friends, and you will be amazed by the NEW help & relationships that come into your life when you undertake this kind of journey. We absolutely learned this during our project, and we were blown away by the people that stepped up & truly saw this project out to its conclusion, even when the going got tough and the deadlines were real.
8. The effort is transformative in itself because we learn to work hard for things that matter to us.
This one was a hard one for me, and boy did our home renovation teach us this. It’s easy to focus on the glamorous side of a reno: picking out the tiles, materials, and colors. But then you hit the nitty gritty: the late nights, encouraging workers to meet their deadlines, hauling materials in every weekend, the millions of runs to Home Depot, bringing out boxes and boxes in an ice storm as part of project clean up…these are the experiences that make us love & value our home even more. The lessons learned from the hard work can be seen as their own reward…and they add to the beauty of the final product!
9. Break it into simple, doable steps, day by day, so as not to get overwhelmed.
This is very true in reno life. It’s literally, one thing at a time, one layer at a time, overlapping trades needed for certain moments, building upon each other’s work. The over-arching goal remains, but the steps & focus for each day is bite-sized. The way we kept ourselves from being overwhelmed in moments with this huge house project was to focus on what we could accomplish just in that day or week. Then the next. And soon…you realize it’s nearly complete!
It’s true in our personal work too. It’s why I coach my clients not to set too many goals or priorities…feeling overwhelmed will keep you from moving any of them forward. Same thing goes for setting stretch or unreachable goals—we need to be working on something that we can see to the end of, and then we go a bit further the next time, building momentum & confidence as we go. Set yourself up to have frequent, small wins, and soon you’ll be addicted to the stretch & growth of personal development.
We moved in 4 days before Christmas so this felt like a true Christmas miracle.
10. Stay humble and make gratitude the focus.
Loving attention to detail, bringing order & beauty, and new life & vision out of old & worn out habits/patterns/ways of life is the great gift we are all called to discover & live. Transforming an old home last year drove home all these lessons that I’ve been learning in my own work in personal development, my own journey, as well as coaching others through transformations in their health, life, and businesses.
The gift of living in a home that has been transformed through a vision made reality by daily sweat, communication, logistics, and effort, that we had the privilege to shape, design, and put intentional effort is a great reminder of a deep truth about all transformations. Namely, we must trust the process, build patience, stay open to all the ways that change, once begun, will be out of our control and will take us to places we’ve never even imagined going.
However, the initial choice is always ours—to take a chance and begin to tear down old walls, so that new ones can be built.
Last week, I had the honor of joining January Donovan on her podcast and we chatted about a topic near to my heart. Now, all of a sudden, we’re living in an entirely new reality. Life will NEVER be like it was, and we still don’t have a clear sense of the future. For many of us, life is more intense and stressful than ever, as we juggle work, kids, homeschooling, perhaps loss of a job or uncertainty about employment, and so much more.
Well, our daily habits are truly tested in these times of crisis, and, just like all of you, January and I are starting from scratch with building new habits to give us the proper mindset, personal tools of resilience and energy and focus so we can still be our best, or a new “better” to rise to these daily challenges. It was a pleasure to be her guest, and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on our conversation. Please share in the comments below, these are very important conversations to have.
ALSO: I’m so excited that I’m able to offer you a special look into January’s offerings. She has so many incredible offerings over at THE WOMAN SCHOOL, and I just learn so much from her when we connect; her passion for helping women in all walks of life is so tangible, and her courses & opportunities for partnership are just unparalleled. In this time, we need to build connections & communities of HOPE more than ever, and she’s doing just that.
These are some links you can use to grab a seat in her courses, directly referred from me 😉 And yes, email me with any questions or to get more of an inside scoop if you’re considering it.
Working from home can present its own set of challenges, We idealize it as–unlimited delicious homemade coffee, and pajamas until 12–or later. Sometimes, It’s not like that at all. It might look like–distracting yourself with housework when you are avoiding work for a deadline, or having small children making messes or pulling on your leg while you’re trying to sit at a computer and answer emails. The time-sucks and lack of motivation can just start to overwhelm us. We often aren’t sure how to get re-focused, re-inspired, and to set up a set of routines that can put us into FLOW with our work. So we experience the benefits of flexible work, and fewer of the downsides.
And first of all, I want to pause for a moment to acknowledge what a blessing it is, in this moment in time, to have work opportunities available to us that we can do from home, in the middle of this enormous crisis. We do not take that for granted for an instant.
I’ve had a lot of experience over 7 years of working flexibly, of how to manage my time working from home, expectations of what I’ll accomplish, and daily re-inspiring and motivating myself to chip away at work goals, to-do lists, bringing joy and a sense of fulfillment to each moment of the day (or many, at least).
Let’s start with these 5 tips, and see how you can boost your mindset around working from home, or just develop some new strategies.
Adjust expectations–to fit your reality.
Set up your work space to optimize joy, focus and productivity.
Time management & blocking: give yourself things to look forward to your breaks each hour.
Set a schedule you can stick to (even while enjoying flexibility).
Focus on the big picture.
1) Adjust expectations–to fit your reality.
I’ve learned the hard way that a long to-do list and a working from home lifestyle can sometimes frustrate you (and others). Of course, you can have productive pockets of time, but you also need to manage expectations (your own, and other peoples’) about what you’ll accomplish. For me, that starts with having a top 3 list in my planner–the 3 most important things that need to be done, and tackling those first, so that anything else that’s on the list, or “extra” is gravy. Help others understand your realities–try to under-promise and over-deliver. I’m often very clear with those I’m in communication with: this particular task will happen at this time of day (during a toddler nap) and not before, so that the expectations are clear, and you’re not always scrambling to re-adjust.
2) Set up your work space to optimize joy, focus and productivity.
This is your chance to create your ideal environment, and to add to your productivity and enjoyment of your work. Choose a beautiful, quiet, well-lit & decorated spot and set it up to be a place that brings you joy as you approach. Along with this, set up rituals in your day that help trigger your brain to look forward to focusing in–that could be a simple as a delicious cup of pour-over, or a steaming mug of tea, a great soundtrack, and more. Even better if you’ve been able to do a quick 20 min walk or yoga session to get blood flowing to your brain! These are proven methods that highly successful folks use daily to power up their focus, and you can do them at home with even more control of your environment than at the office.
Home office inspo: Via Serena & Lily
3) Time management & blocking: give yourself things to look forward to in your breaks each hour.
Similarly to your office environment, you have even more control over your focused work times–when they occur and why. You can take quizzes that help you determine what time of day you’re most productive, and you can tailor your calendar and work day around that. For example if mid morning is your peak productivity, avoid letting mtgs be scheduled then, or calls, and try to do your deeper work/content creation, etc then.
Brendon Burchard–in his book High Performance Habits, and elsewhere–talks about how the ideal window for peak productivity is to work in 50 min chunks (on a single task or set of related tasks) and then take a 10 min break, to totally reset your brain. This fits well with my experience (if you’re a mom, you might be thrilled with 30 min chunks while kids are occupied), and the point is that during the hourly breaks, you move around, stretch, get a different perspective, maybe do a small chore, household project or email check/communication moment, and then dive back into another focused block. Try this out in different intervals and see what works. You’ll be amazed what happens when you close a few browsers, stop checking email and social media on your phone, and just focus in on something for 45-50 min. Magical things can occur. I love having a small thing I’m committed to doing during my “breaks” whether it’s reading to a kid, having a snack or stretching series, or even tidying so that my environment stays the way I like it. You’ll get into a good rhythm that works for you.
4) Set a schedule you can stick to (even while enjoying flexibility).
I enjoy the freedom of a whole day of working from home (while mothering) but we all benefit from a bit of structure as well (the #1 reasons why bosses are wary of people working from home). So I suggest that based on the things you understand about your productive pockets, the overall schedule off the day, related to school schedule, or anything else, you craft some daily rhythms that help you stay on course. If you know you’ll always start your day with a block of email and communication, followed by your biggest project of the day (the meat of what you need to accomplish); I like to plan calls and zooms with clients/partners/collaborators for 12 or later, so I know that the first part of the day has been my own to really make things happen with. Later in the afternoon, I’ll come back to my computer for tying up loose ends, or communicating with folks about deliverables for the following day or scheduling out items for later in the week; it all depends on the work you do, but you’ll benefit from having a clear sense of what each part of the day holds. Plan your day with a loose structure that works, or your day will just simply slip away from you. Additionally, I always schedule things like down time, or exercise or self-care moments into my planner along side my work. That way I know I’m taking them equally seriously, so I can be at my best for the moments I’m in work mode
5) Focus on the big-picture.
On any given day, some of the challenges of juggling work while doing laundry, managing kids, seeing dishes in the sink or any number of other small work from home annoyances can get you feeling deflated. But keep a big picture perspective in mind. Having more control of your schedule and work does give you more joy & fulfillment in the long run, and also allows you to be more productive (less water cooler time or random interruptions from “drive by” coworkers)…plus, look at all that time you’re not spending exhausting yourself in a car or on public transportation. Even just getting back 30 min each way from commuting is 5 hours per week–that you can use to explore a new hobby, go on runs, or read, or be with your family more. Focusing on the big picture brings gratitude and the right perspective for the challenging moments.
Final note (may have learned this the hard way ;)): you’re happier if you set good boundaries about not working during the hours you want to be with family, doing other things, etc. Working from home does not equal working all the time, as many in our workaholic culture want to assume. You’re better off if you keep yourself disciplined with your “on” hours, and your “off ” hours, and your work and life will benefit greatly.
Silk blouse on top, for video meetings & podcasts, yoga pants on the bottom…
Cheers to working from home–with all the blessings and challenges…
it’s a great life indeed.
x ~maddy
Some fantastic reads related to these topics:
Feel like you need an accountability buddy or coach/cheerleader when establishing your work from home habits, whether working for yourself or someone else? Reach out and we can discuss my coaching packages, tailored to fit every need & budget & goal.
