Friends,
This is my first post of the new year. There was a much needed easing into 2018, that I’m immensely grateful for. So far it’s been a year of the unexpected…from snow days, to other, bigger challenges, and I’m seeing clearly that time for renewal and recovery after the holidays was what was needed. Despite how far ahead into big 2018 plans my brain might have been rushing–the reality of life’s pace said differently…and I’m grateful I could listen and adjust the plans. Right now, I’m working towards this perspective on Flow. Flow does experience bumps. Flow doesn’t mean there won’t be any challenging moments anymore.
But I also know that by leaning into the discomfort–the tough conversations with loved ones, the messy things that are life, by going THROUGH, not around–we’ll find grace, peace, and ultimately, much growth.
I’m in the midst of it, but I have gained some perspective based on the self-reflection I did to make my new year intentions–how I want this year to feel and be.
(More from me on that topic, and on vision boards, will be coming soon, by popular demand!)
BUT, I’m excited to start the year with this post. There are so many things that a new year offers us: the chance to eat better, move more, laugh more, sleep more, pray more, hug our loved ones more, etc. But something that I think is one of the most common “resolutions,” if you use that word, or “intentions” is to READ MORE!
Yep, it’s been on my list for as long as I can remember, and I know from social media that many of you have the same desire. I love to reflect back on specific books that have particularly shaped me, and there are a few that stand out, especially for this time of the year. These books are ones that are focused on personal growth, on resetting habits, on de-cluttering, and making space for good.
So I’ll share the book titles, and I want to dive into a tiny commentary and some musings on how these shaped me in hopes it will encourage you to put some or all of them on your 2018 list, if you feel that the themes will support you! This cold weather blast that we’ve been experiencing has made curling up with a good book by the fire on the top of my list. And major gratitude for Amazon prime.
The Happiness Advantage
I read this book at a moment (about 2 years ago) when I was at a crossroads with work, and with owning a business. You see, I had been taught to set goals, and be happy when I had achieved them, and since I’m pretty type A, this model worked well for me. At some point though, I realized I was in a model where I was always setting the next goal, and always looking ahead to the next thing, and always thinking goals were a good idea. At the same time, as a mother, I was often realizing humbly just how hard it can be to accomplish things–with children, for children, getting to sink zero, much less inbox zero, or scoring that new client or project, or even getting to the grocery store and coming out with what we needed, on a given day.
Hence…I felt I was chasing happiness…and it was always escaping me. Can anyone else relate? The to-do lists never go away, and we want to end the day with a feeling of deep, meaning, some joy, some sense of what has happened and also that we were able to spend the time being happy. Not just looking everywhere for the happiness.
This book dispels POWERFULLY the notion that happiness can be attained by goal achievement, and flips it on it’s head with great research, compelling stories, sound cases from corporate environments and more. We’re left understanding that happiness DRIVES success, not the other way around.
And for some of us, that massive mindset shift can be the beginning of some amazing things. Highly recommend it for entrepreneurs, moms, dads, anyone in leadership roles, and anyone who wants to be happy in 2018 and to know that their happiness is going to fuel some other amazingly positive things for them in work and in life.
(Another great book on this topic, but more related to personal life, is Gretchen Rubin’s well known book, “The Happiness Project”. I read this a few years back and it had a deep impact on me and how we think about our lives, habits and what we have control over in terms of creating the right environment for creativity, peace and yes, daily happiness.)
Spark Joy
So I gave this book to myself for Christmas (In 2016) and my family laughed/cringed when they saw me joyfully unwrap it. Sure enough, a few weeks into January 2017, since one of our primary goals of the year was the successful sale of our place and move to a new one (with 3 small kids, do I need to remind you?), we had to take a serious look at our STUFF. And I was so mentally ready.
The first time I read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up in 2016 I was impressed, and it spoke to me–cluttered and haphazard as my habits were at the time)–and got me philosophically. BUT, I wasn’t fully ready to commit to the hard work involved in making such life changing magic occur. Anyone relate? It’s easy to get both bogged down and overwhelmed by the project of tidying…especially when we know we need it.
But, fast forward to this moment when our kid stuff and clutter was reaching a mental health hazard level, and you will understand how this book, when put into the hands of the right person, on or around January or February of the new year, could literally create magic and spark that deep and wild joy that only a true Konmari fan knows.
I hauled 17 trash bags full of stuff to Goodwill (appreciated, but no longer needed; and mind you, we lived in a modest footprint and thought we were good about getting rid of stuff!). This work sparked the rest of the year and made our search for a new place, and move the truly life changing experience that it was. In her book, Marie Kondo makes a bold claim, that properly tidying your home, and knowing how you want to live–ie, being in integrity with your values and your relationship to what you have around you, will literally lead you to your next home…if you’re on the market. I completely believe that’s what happened. And on the other side of it, we have everything we need for a blessed and simple life, and nothing that we don’t.
Here’s what you learn in the book: the clarity you get around the stuff in your life–what you value, what stays with you when you’re making those decisions and ⅓ of your stuff needs to get removed or stored (like when you’re showing your place to sell it!)–all of a sudden, that clarity can wildly expand to other parts of your life. You’re creating space for more of what you want, but letting go of what’s not serving you, and being very clear and intentional with what you keep around you, and why.
How cool is that? It was a deeply spiritual, mentally challenging and important project, so I encourage you to take it seriously for what it is. If this is your year to change how you feel about your home, your stuff, and the mental clutter/overwhelm that can often accompany it, I’m cheering you on and I’m here happy to chat directly about your experiences. Enjoy that free, light feeling–much like we have at the end of a good, balanced, cleanse (see my subtle pitch there:)) but related to your home! It’s magical.
And turns out, we’ve kept many many of these practical habits she teaches after we moved (this book cannot make moving EASY, but it certainly makes moving more meditative and powerful in some ways). The kids have happily adopted some of the practices for their clothes and other things…toys are always a slight challenge, but we are light years ahead of where we were on that front a year ago. Highly recommend this for a transformative 2018 (you may want to start with her first book, the Life Changing Magic, or you may want to just dive right into the nitty gritty), and we’ll be doing more with this book and our communities in the coming months.
The Hidden Power of Kindness
So this book was recommended to me by my spiritual director. I knew that I needed to give it a read. I’ve been working HARD in past years on becoming a kinder person, and while I know it’s very much a work-in-progress, this book is where the pedal hits the floor. It’s very easy to speak platitudes about how the world would be a great and better place if we were all a little kinder (yes, I’ve been guilty of such simplification myself), but this book can open your eyes to the depths of the human heart–what we’re capable of, what we’re expected to do for others, in the name of kindness (i.e., real love) and what we’re expected NOT to do, which for many of us is really a kicker.
I have to admit to you that it’s a powerful bedside read. You may, like me, only be able to handle small chunks at a time, to meditate on, work with, live with, attempt to live up to…and most importantly, let it change our perspective on matters of the heart, and demand more of ourselves in the name of real, sacrificial love. The kind of kindness that truly changes people…most especially, ourselves.
The 4 Agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom
This book should probably be read by every high schooler, and again in college, and basically at every life stage. It’s a simple, powerful read, a little hard to get into (I’m saying that because you have to stick with it). It’s about personal integrity, understanding a context/framework within which to view and understand socialization, society, the family, ourselves and why we think and act the way we do. Once we understand that framework, we realize that these 4 simple yet utterly profound and life-changing “Agreements” that we can make with ourselves, can literally be the difference between a life lived at peace, and with a vision of the world as being a place of wholeness and meaning and ultimate unity, versus a vision of life as full of fragments and frustrations. If you’ve ever wondered if there was a better way to live, or to approach life, this book might just give you a glimpse and some clues that are worth exploring and embracing. I can’t wait to hear your comments on this one if you’ve read it…everyone loves to talk about the effect it’s had in their lives, and in the lives of their loved ones. No spoilers–you have to discover what the 4 agreements are for yourself. And more importantly–whether you can live them out.
The War of Art
Ok. I did save this for last, and yes, this is probably up there at the very top of the list. Have you said that this year will be different? You’ll stop procrastinating and write that novel, take that desired vacation, change jobs like you’ve been meaning to, etc? And then have a sinking feeling it just might not happen? Well, what you’re up against is a common experience of “resistance” and this book breaks down exactly what’s going on.
The focus is on the creative process, but it really applies for any transformation and anything new that’s positive in life, which has a creative element. This book explains how to see the resistance for what it is, be mentally armed against it, and then to work through it to experience the powerful movements of support and integration, let’s call it “inspiration” on the other side when you begin the daunting project– the training for that big race, the writing of that short story, the work on your website/used car, etc.
Whatever you’re most passionate about creating in 2018, this book will help you discover exactly what’s holding you back–and then render those forces powersless against you. I can’t WAIT to see what happens in your lives as a result of this book. I read it in Jan/Feb of 2017 with a 3 month old needing nursing sessions–so basically in the nooks and crannies of the day–and I can honestly point to its power being responsible for 80% of the great things that we were able to create this year, including my dream-come-true website/brand and a few other things that I would have told you a year ago were impossible or highly unlikely.
Read it now, read it in 3 months, read it again and again as long as you know what you’re working to create is worth fighting for. This is your compass and you’re going to LOVE IT.
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I hope that you enjoyed my summaries, complete with capitals. I can’t tell you enough how excited I am for this coming year. I’m in the middle of Rising Strong (Brene Brown) and it’s rocking and rumbling my world. More on that one soon. The other books that are high on my list for the coming weeks are these 2 books about FLOW. This word is coming into focus for me, and I want to get into the topic more deeply. If you want to be kept in the loop of what I’m reading, recommending and why, sign up for the emails–and let’s be sure to discuss, as you go through your transformative book lists for 2018!
I also have a book list that I will share with any of you by request: it’s called 12 Books for Your First Year in Business–for entrepreneurs, especially ones in a leadership/networking/coaching field like this one (though of course it’s valuable for others too, as the skills all overlap). This list is something I’ve worked hard on with several other business owners I greatly admire, so I’m pumped to be able to share from what we’ve culled and gathered and benefitted from over the years.