Last year, exactly 1 year ago, I was 2.5 weeks postpartum with my 3rd, and we were heading into the holiday season. I remember moments of total exhaustion and overwhelm amidst the joy and the happy busy preparations. We then went on into the new year to decide we wanted to move the family, and by the time my babe was 4 months we were showing our place to sell it, and looking for a new place, and moved when he was 7 months old.
Needless to say, I had to get very serious about my self-care during this period of time of blessings, but also intensity, transition, and busyness. I have a few things that stood the test for me, and I wanted to share them for all my momma friends who are in the trenches, and in that beautiful period of post-partum, when caring for self is equivalent for caring for baby. This is true especially if breastfeeding, but no matter what, mother is everything, the baby’s whole world. That reality motivated me to continually ground myself, for my baby and my kids’ sake, as well as my own.
And if you’re feeling very very sad all the time, or completely overwhelmed or angry or a combination of intense emotions, don’t just brush it off as a need for self-care…talk to someone who can help you determine whether you have PPD or Anxiety and address it. There’s a good related article, self quiz & support team here at Seleni Institute, or speak with your health provider.
- Never underestimate the benefits of a good soak in epsom salts and lavendar after a long day. Not only does the magnesium calm the nervous system and prepare you for a restful night sleep, but the baths are good for aching muscles, and you’ll forget most of the cares of the day after you’ve soaked for 20 minutes, especially with tea, candles and a good book nearby. I like to get the lavender epsom salt blends, and you can add a few drops of your favorite calming essential oils too, as the bath runs.
- Get outside. Not only does it help with mood, but time in the sunshine will give you perspective on your time with baby at home, the fresh air will do you good (even in winter its great to bundle baby and go for a walk)…and of course, catching Vit D when you can helps support your vital replenishment of it, as well as babes…since they can’t get it through breastmilk. Plus, it’s always wonderful coming back home after a short outing. Walks, jogs, time at the park, whatever suits you. Just make it regular and easy to plan:)
- Sleep extra. This is such cliche advice they always give us “sleep when baby sleeps”…I always chuckle—yah right, i’m gonna grab my favorite mug, some tea, catch up on emails, news, dishes, life…but NO. Much better if you give yourself permission to take naps 2-3 times a week with babe, especially early on. It’s special bonding time if you are able to sleep with them. Or if by yourself, just appreciate it for what it is; your body heals so much more quickly when it’s rested…I’ve learned this the hard way when dangerously cutting sleep after my 1st and my 3rd…and believe me, it’s not a good thing for anyone involved.
- Nourish yourself with all the goodness you can. I am a big believer that this is one of the most important times to focus on nutrition, equally so to pre-natal, but often not discussed. I recommend this book The first 40 Days that goes into great detail on which foods are most healing to postpartum mommas, and has amazing recipes…that you should have someone ELSE make for you. Keep quick and easy snacks on hand, and reach for healthy fats, protein (your needs are just as high as pregnancy), filling hearty grains, and greens as often as you can, even when caffeine and sugar seem like the obvious ways to get through the sleep deprived mornings and days. Caffeine and sugar can contribute to our mood swings and cortisol disruption, so be wise about avoiding that cycle…finding other ways to get quick energy fixes is definitely a good plan. See my post on postpartum health tools.
- Remember to get out the house at least once a week (after the initial 6 weeks or your healing/cleared) and do a hobby, pursue something you love. This could be anything from pottery (I took a class when my first was a baby and let her and her dad bond and figure themselves out one evening a week)…to yoga (this was my hobby of choice after #2)…or even something as simple as just getting out and going to the movies by yourself (this was a dream come true for me after #3). Just knowing that you have that time for your own needs and to be a human as well as a pillow and milk machine, will help your spirits heal along with your body. It’s alot of big changes, and we need to ground ourselves in things that have brought us joy and will continue to, such as books, hobbies, and relationships.
- Last but certainly not least: Know when to ask for help. When you’re near the end of your energy or what you can give, and you just need a warm meal, a nap and a moment to yourself while someone cares for baby, or for your toddler or other kiddos, find out who your support team will be, call on them in advance and make sure they’re at the ready to help. It certainly takes wisdom and humility, and it’s so worth it to get the team lined up before you have birth, but don’t feel the need to stretch your supermom cape too thin; there’s plenty of time for that once baby is a little older, for now, your lives and well being are vitally intertwined and in need of a large community of support.
I’m cheering for you! Reach out if you want to connect, I adore supporting moms in this beautiful phase of life, or jump into our Postpartum FB group that we just launched in Jan 2018 to share your success, struggles, daily wins and all the rest of it in a private group setting. This has been a dream of mine for some time and it’s so humbling and awesome to see so many amazing women coming together to deeply support each other in navigating the joys and challenges of this unforgettable time in our lives.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/569409133392034/
(You’ll be in, pending answering a few questions to help us support you!)
We’re in this together.