2021 has been quite a year. Maybe not on the level of 2020, but in some ways, even more challenging & complicated to navigate, as we tried in various ways to get back to life as normal, and yet still faced so many new frustations, challenges, precedents, expectations, differing views on the best way through the pandemic experience, etc.
I don’t know about you, but I’m totally ready for a quiet & simple holiday season. This topic is always dear to my heart, and I find it always strikes a chord. We want to find a way through that doesn’t leave us battered & burnt-out by December 31st.
But how to pull that off?
For some of us, travel is back in the picture. It can certainly feel complicated, even when you’re excited about being with loved ones….the logistics can really eat away at the fun…or it can be viewed as an opportunity to change the pace, and, yep, simplify!
For us, after being home for 4 Christmases in a row (unusual) due to putting down roots in CT, new baby (Blaise born Jan), home reno craziness, and pregnant with Nellie/wanting to stay put last year…we’re ready to hit the road & enjoy some time with our Southern family.
(And we just came back from a glorious weekend in Portland, ME, unplugged & exploring, spending time in nature, in fun new places, soaking up the family time).
It’s in sync with our general feel that we want to focus on experiences, memory making & quality time as a family, over stuff, toys, more junk for the home & kids this year. I know others are feeling the same.
Staying home is amazing, and yet also presents its own challenges: how to host graciously but without being overly stressed & exhausted by the experience? How to rein in the desire to go overboard with decorating, bursting the budget & everyone’s patience as you decorate everything you can lay your hands on? (guilty of that last year thanks to nesting & home project mode).
How to lean into the experiences, moments, and memories that you want to carry with you, and that you all value, and to let go of the rest, or have it fade into the background?
Sometimes, it’s about making a DON’T DO list, along with your TO DO’s lists.
I can tell you with full clarity that I NEVER want to have the experience (again) of rushing around to stores like target or walmart, in evening traffic (it’s pitch black by 5 here), shopping frantically for stuff that may or may not be super important to have, but that feeling of frenzy & being out & about (especially with an infant) when I could be home cozy by the fire. No thanks. I’ll pass up on those deals, refocus on shopping locally, or creatively, & save my time & sanity 😉
For some people, it’s about skipping the long mall lines for Santa pics, and choosing to do something that suits your family better, like going to pick & cut your own tree, or doing a caroling party with friends.
What’s on your holiday DON’T DO list?
But, so, how to do holidays well? How to lean into the good stuff…and somehow carry the load of it all peacefully? How to discern what to go all-in, pinterest details crazy on, and what to offload, outsource or streamline so it causes no brainpower or stress. Certainly, some things like holiday greeting cards, can be as simplified or as complicated as you like–time & budget allowing. Other things like baking might thrill some families, and leave other families lackluster. So you’ll want to lean into your own particular emphasis for the season, and leave comparison or insta-envy at the door.
Here’s a few tips & musings of mine, that I hope will be helpful. I don’t have all the answers, but I have been trying for years to find that balance of holiday season work & play, rest & bustle, memory making, and detail check-listing. At the end of the day, leaving extra space for the unexpected is always my favorite part, especially with little ones. Sometimes they just need the room to be creative, cozy, playful, imaginative, generous (making gifts for loved ones), etc. It’s too tempting to over-program the days around the holidays but we all need down time for rest, and cozy winter rituals like tea & reading.
- Make a list of your priorities & top traditions. Pretty obvious but this is always where to start. Now my kids are old enough, the girls remember our “traditions” during Advent & the weeks before Christmas. We talk about the things we’ve done, what our options are, and then make our list & get organized/ get tix. Things like Breakfast with Santa get mixed interest from the crowd, but other things like the Holiday train show will get 100% major satisfaction & is worth the effort that goes into such outings. Once you have this list, it’s pretty easy to start with the most important & work down, when you’ll do them, and everything else falls into place around this. When your kids are little, and you’re intentionally working to create these traditions, it’s good to keep the bigger picture/vision in mind–and lean into things that you feel will stand the test of time.
- Decide WHO you want to make memories with. For us, we usually plan a cookie party, and this year we plan to invite some new friends. We’re doing a few key December outings & invited friends *and mothers helpers* along to make them extra fun. I have a moms brunch on the calendar that doubles as an excuse for a bit of shopping, and the kids have specific things like ice-skating that they will be meeting friends for. The month can fill so fast, so I like to sit down with the kids, chat about it all (#1), mark in dates/plan with folks & reserve/get tix well before Dec 1 hits, so that the rush of everyone’s full calendars doesn’t affect you getting that time that you want with friends & loved ones.
- Carve out down time. This might sound counterintuitive or obvious after points 1 & 2. But the whole thing about filling your calendar is, you also need to balance it with—rest, quiet, cozy fireside, peaceful “crafternoons” as we jokingly call them fill in some of that down time for us, as do long fireside evenings with Christmas read-alouds, etc. Get out for fresh air & nature time. Parents–make time for dates: walks and hot cocoa are our favorite during fall/winter, or intentional family time even in the midst of what feels to be an extra full season. Having a list of family holiday movie favorites and some new board games by the fire is a great way to connect & decompress during the December weeks.
- Get outside. This is so important on so many levels. It’s important especially to get out into nature & soak up the fresh winter air, get some Vit D during the precious daylight hours, get the lungs pumping & bodies moving. This is especially important for combatting the stress of staring at the to-do list or the rarely-clean kitchen during busy weeks, etc. It will also motivate you—get your checklisting done during rainy or quiet/cold days & get out into the winter sunshine whenever opportunity allows. This can also turn into gathering fresh greens, berries, or other foliage for indoor decor, and double as nature’s shopping trip 😉 Nature always gives us a chance for a fresh perspective on the day & our priorities.
- Don’t be afraid to say NO. A few years ago, I read a book called the BEST YES. Its premise is that in order for your YES to be “the best”, you have to be saying NO to lots of things that aren’t a good fit or worthy of your attention/energy. That way, you’ve created space to say YES fully & go all in on things that matter to you. These holiday weeks you might be getting all the invites & some of them sound great, and some don’t. Or the pressures of school play & volunteering etc coinciding with other holiday events makes you want to pull your hair out. Just say no. No one will die. Better to underpromise & keep your sanity & happiness than to over-commit, regret it, run around like a crazy person, and get so flustered you forget that we’re celebrating the simplest event in human history: a baby born in a stable.
- Don’t sacrifice sleep. Let’s just say, learned this one from experience. You need your rest, and this is officially hibernation season. Embrace zzs, for your health: both physical & mental. I love a good epsom salt bath, some dark chocolate & fireside cuddles or reading to reset & renew….but yes, sleep trumps all. Here’s my new favorite sleep supplement (dream serene) to help you get your best night of sleep.
- Take care of yourself. Vitamins, exercise, regular meals, sounds basic but in the scramble of a busy season it can easily get shelved or go out the window. Everyone in your life needs you at your best. So schedule it, plan it in when approaching each day & make it happen. Stretch, walk daily, eat fresh greens, seasonal soups, drink delicious teas rather than just pounding caffeinated/sugary drinks from the starbucks holiday menu. Here’s a few of my favorites, starting with…the oh-so-necessary….Stress Relief complex (with ashwaganda). You better believe I take one of these daily as part of my best & simplified December.
- Just exhale & welcome quiet & stillness. Simple, but oh so hard sometimes. I take inspiration from the colder weather, the chance to curl up indoors or by a roaring fire while flurries fall outside here in CT. Take a deep breath, gather inspiration from advent reflections (I snagged the The Holy Way: a beautiful advent journal compiled by my friend Elizabeth), write about what’s important for you & why. Make this a journey of the soul, and let all your inspired activities & generous crafting, decorating & gifting come from the simple impulse of a heart, in love.
- Outsource & streamline. This is pretty obvious, right? Don’t scrub your toilets while baking & prepping for guests to arrive–let someone else take care of that! Get your meal plans set up, groceries delivered, and don’t hesitate to utilize take-out on the especially full days so you can be present to what you need to. Streamline your outings/errands (or find a way to get it all done online or extremely locally;), and batch work & play where you can. It may not be perfect, but the goal is to help you focus in on your core December goals, and areas of interest for the holidays, keep you in flow, and let the other stuff fade into the background.
- Focus on EXPERIENCES, over STUFF. This is my intention for this season, and already, having unplugged & spent the busiest shopping weekend of the year hiking, exploring with the fam, and watching the waves roll on the coast of Maine, I have no regrets. We’ll always remember the people, the moments, and the intentions behind the gifts more than the gifts themselves. So see how you can simplify, and give YOURSELF & the gift of TIME this year…present & peaceful, and…thriving!
It’s ok if the gingerbread isn’t made from scratch. If you have cute decorating kits & everyone in the family gets into it, we’ll call it a win. It’s ok if you don’t do alot of December outings this year; if you decide your energy is better focused at home on simple decor & celebration moments…what matters is that you’re serene, clear-headed, and your heart is quiet enough to be able to hear the whisperings of magic & the callings to your heart during these weeks.
Cheers friends. I know this is easier said than done, but hopefully if we keep these ideas in the forefront, we’ll savor & celebrate all the moments of the season, and come out of it all renewed, inspired, invigorated, filled up with the goodness & pure beauty of life during these meaningful moments.
Yes, I know there are many reasons why the holidays can be a particularly challenging season. And simplifying can only make it better. Keep some space open for renewal of heart & mind & body, and preparing to face the new year…transformed.
This is our chance. Let’s thrive through the holidays. And focus in on the greatest gift—of new life given to us in this season that makes sense of every moment of our life.
lots of love & gratitude for you!
Maddy
PS: Tag me if you’re sharing about how you’re #thrivingthroughtheholidays & tag me @maddypidel
(Here’s my Dec love letter & specials to my VIP community, if you’re not on there).