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Category: musings

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Life by design: the power of vision boards for a new year

Perhaps you’ve heard of this concept of vision boards and it’s sounded cheesy and weird to you—like something for a high-school sleepover party (young girls picking out their dream weddings), or more recently, just an offshoot of a pinterest driven lifestyle.

But it can be so much more than that. It’s not just a visual wish list of home decor items, or a gallery wall of photos, but rather a visual map to your best life, usually one year at a time.

I’ve had so many folks ask me about these, and I wanted to share more of an in-depth look into what I do to create mine each January, as well as some of the overarching framework for approaching goals/plans and dreams for each coming year.

I know this practice of vision boarding has literally changed my life since I put it into practice 5 years ago. For some of you, this may be the year this practice catches your interest and you run with it to your best life.

We’re also doing a module/focus on it in my Life By Design course—be sure to get on my email list (up top) if you want some of the fun content and details I’ll be sharing about that in the coming weeks (yep, it’s already been prepped, before babe). Ideally this vision board practice is part of that larger 5 week lifestyle transformation that we’re undertaking, in a fun and easy to implement program that’s for anyone, in any walk of life!

If you’re someone that doesn’t like traditional goal setting, has already forgotten what your New Year’s resolutions were, or, if you were like me, and are very driven/connected to goals but sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture of WHY they really matter (so checking them off is not as satisfying), creating a vision board is the habit you need. It’s about leaning into a bigger picture perspective of how your life is ready to expand, to transform, to be different.

We all know life will be different in 365 days, but a vision board can be the key to having a strong hand in shaping and creating that difference, and not just letting it happen to us.

I love this quote. It’s been on my vision board for the past 4 years, and it helps me frame what we’re about.

My First Time Vision Boarding I Was Afraid

The first time I did a vision board it was tough and somewhat scary to really try to fix on what I wanted. What visuals, materials or pictures represent my life? (But that exercise is exactly where the magic begins.)

And of course, there’s the objection I got (and continue to get) from folks: “well, what about what if I don’t know what GOD has planned for me, aren’t these just my selfish desires being put out there, and how can I know if I’m actually supposed to be wanting this stuff?”

Well, I have lots to say on that topic, but I’ll try to just pose this question: what if you can make the process of developing a vision board a prayerful exercise?

Vision Boarding as an Expression of Hope

You can discuss things with your life partner/spouse, make plans based on where you see your family and life going, and with prayer, put it out there in the form of a vision board. We know God is ultimately in control, but you entrust your hopes and dreams into His care with the knowledge that He wants to make good things happen for, through, and with you. If life plans do a big shift—through a job change, or an unexpected move, a child coming, or anything else planned or un-planned—then you adjust. The vision board isn’t going to be “wrong” at any moment, it might just need to be updated as life unfolds and you continue to hone the muscles of discernment along with life-design.

I find that so many folks are just not intentional enough, or don’t believe enough that their own vision, desires, needs and goals CAN and SHOULD shape their real life, so I like to encourage you to take this seriously, and then simply perfect it with your overall goal setting/discernment as you go. My family vision boards are very different than when we first started making them…they are much more specific and focused on our core values, because that’s where we can do the best work and where we’ve seen fulfillment over the years.

These boards are not just a list of things you want to purchase or a home design pinterest board, they can be a record of the way your desires and values shift and change as you get to know yourself and your God-given purpose better with every passing year.

See, the more specific we get with letting our heart and desires shape reality, the more God actually can work, and move things for us.

I love the following quote, and I think we can understand the sense of divine intervention/support for our deepest desires—they are in alignment.

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

A Look at My Vision Boards Over the Years!

So, I’m going to now share a few vision boards we’ve made over the years, and some details on how I like to set ours up now-a-days, in line with our circles of focus: such as social, spiritual, success/skills, etc.But there’s really no right or wrong way to do these—as long as you have fun with them (ideally do them with good friends and a glass of wine or champagne, we’ve done vision board brunches before, so fun)…just have at it, and see what unfolds in the process!

My 2016 vision board: I had some travel, business and other goals come to pass (and we set up for a job change and prepping for our big move!)–also, I have images on here of being pregnant with a boy…baby boy shoes…and a month after making this I conceived Ambrose, he was born that October 😉
My 2015 visison board: I seriously get chills when I look at this: travel to Europe, business expansion, the kind of new family car we upgraded to, the giving back focus, and upon some key themes and words that I needed to embrace (including from scripture).

Topics for our vision board this year: grouped into these 6 main categories:

Family

Travel

Business growth/focus (this could also be a hobby or passion project)

Giving back/philanthropy

Personal growth/Inspiration (spiritual, emotional, mental)

Fitness

Of course I have intentions/focus in a few other areas; Spiritual etc, but the visuals for those can be grouped within these, above, as you can see.

If you have a word for the year, or words, or themes you want to emphasize, those go well on this board as well. You can see my 3 words, with visuals surrounding them–Intention, Integration, Impact. For me, words are another powerful trigger, so I find ones that will really pull me into the feelings behind the goals/vision, in each section, and quotes are huge for me too.

I love getting the kids involved in this process and they make their own; it’s fun to help them shape their sense that they can put dreams, visions and goals onto paper, and then focus in to make them a reality. Something we’ve all had the ability to do, but often lose as “practical minded” adults.
Make it a social activity! This was a vision board brunch event we did a few years back with teammates and friends.

In summary, this practice is something that I laughed at at first, finally tried with the encouragement of some wise mentors, and then got hooked on, and have gotten better at (more specific, building around a family vision and focus) over the years.

It’s incredible to me how the visions of what life could be like several years ago back when we lived in an apartment in Brooklyn, have become our reality. I had country sheds and gardens and all these things that seemed totally incongruent with that current lifestyle.

Last year, it was hard to make a vision board with anything that was a stretch beyond what I currently had, and I was cultivating/focused on contentment.

There’s always a balance to be found: some people can be tempted to live in the future and only focused on what they want that’s coming/hasn’t arrived yet. This practice isn’t meant to encourage that spirit. Rather it’s about creating space, giving sight and vision to allow MORE good to come, to allow ourselves to be pulled out of our comfort zones, and to become more of who we are meant to be (which after all, is what this is all about—not just what we have, where we travel, or any of the material stuff). It starts with a deep gratitude for where your life is at, and perhaps even some visuals/prompts around that, if you need it.

Have fun creating your 2019 vision boards! I hope you’ll share with me whether this article inspired you to give it a try, and even share with me by email a pic of your vision board when it’s finished!

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Themes of 2018: How These Three Key Ideas Have Shaped Our Year as a Family

This past January, the very beginning of 2018, I was encouraged by one of my wise mentors to look at 2-3 themes or intentions for the year ahead. These would be key words or phrases that tied into my vision board and that would guide my approach to the new year and to the monthly or 90 day action plans and goals that I might set. I think we both knew that an overarching theme would help make my short-term goals more meaningful.

I wanted to pause and reflect on how these themes played out for us this year and to share this concept with all of you in case it’s a valuable one for looking at 2019, which is right around the corner.

This quote has come to capture so well what I feel convicted to live, and to encourage others in.

I know for me, sometimes looking at a new year, and aiming to set goals can feel intimidating. We know life can change so much, take unexpected turns, in life, job, career, family, and we want to make sure that our goals will be in line with the big picture vision even as it may change in detail.

I hear this from many folks I work with, that it’s much easier to set monthly or 90 day goals, and harder when it comes to longer stretches of time, like a full year. But, at the same time, the power of a new year is just that—imagining how different life can be a year from now, and embracing the love for that progress and transformation that we’re ready to experience.

For me, setting up themes for 2018 that applied throughout the year helped bridge the gap between the future I imagine and the reality of my more short-term goals. It’s also allowed me to smile and sometimes even laugh out loud at God’s sense of humor.

So, without further ado, here are my three key themes for 2018 and some musings on how these themes played out in my life and in our life as a family in the last year.

Theme 1: CREATE SPACE

The first theme I focused in on this year was to CREATE SPACE. This is a phrase I use a lot, in my business, coaching and general approach to life. I find that when we declutter our spaces, schedules, lives, we allow room for the GOOD stuff. You know, the moments we want to remember for a long time.

I’ve spent years glorifying the hustle (a remnant of my Brooklyn lovin’, NYC bustlin days)… even with several kids in tow, and a few things have helped me shift away from worshiping being busy (or hiding behind my busyness as an excuse for why my bigger dreams and life goals weren’t getting tackled).

One of them reaching a point of frustration with the pace, and realizing it wasn’t allowing me to fully enjoy each day and the little moments with the kids, that can be packed with meaning. Another avenue for mindset change was a book called “Chasing Slow”—and the other one was a book called “The Best Yes,” which is about the beautiful grace of saying no, to the things in life that we can feel pressured to do or take on, so that we have the energy, mental focus and ability to say YES and be all in on the things that we truly value or feel called to do. These books, as well as our intentional family move 18 months ago to the country for a naturally slower pace of life, and embracing this with my children—and seeing how they like to live their best days—it’s all led me to the conviction that we need to work hard—in our social media driven, commercial, NOISY world, to carve out that beautiful space in which to live meaningful days, with lots of intention, connection to the small (and big) tasks. It takes real effort, and is so worthwhile.

For 2018, there were plenty of things I said no to, especially in the early parts of the year…when I was feeling called to a deeper rest, a deeper, more peaceful family life, and new rhythms, that helped us finally get the hang of the 3 kids thing, and to all thrive. It also looked like carving out time in the spring to train for a half marathon, to launch the girls to the end of an amazing first year in their new school, and then to welcome baby #4, right at a time when we were heading into a summer of slower rhythms and beautiful days with nature as a forefront focus—-lazy days at our local lake beach, long days in the backyard, the kids enjoying stretching themselves in all the ways they know how.

Creating space to welcome a new life into our family, and to continue having a flow and rhythms that work well into the fall, has been such a blessing. Yes, it’s hard to fight the pressure at times, for more extracurriculars, more volunteer things (that I love), or more errands (ok, not hard to fight those off!), but my heart was craving LESS, along with the 2nd theme, so that’s been our work.

I think that we’ll learn these lessons all over again when we welcome another babe in January 2019 and zero in on just the most simplified and beautiful rhythms to support and nourish the family during that season that’s coming up. I know I don’t want to miss the important moments, and CREATING SPACE started as an exploratory theme for the year, and is now the baseline for a full life by design course that I’m launching for all of us to work through in early 2019.

Theme 2: CONTENTMENT

The second theme for 2019, CONTENTMENT.

This one is hard for someone like me. I’m a thinker-ahead—focus on the future, often itching for the next thing…sometimes living in the future at the expense of the present. This has had it’s advantages for me, but as a mother, it too often creates a pull that disquiets me. I felt in prayer and in chats with my husband, Joel, that I needed to really embrace this theme and nurture more contentment. With a business that can always demand more, and with family life and motherhood always able to tempt me to MORE…I wanted to be able to wake up each day, and say—it’s ENOUGH. What I’m doing today, what we’ll get done, where we’ll go, how we’re living, with simplicity and focus on our family values, it’s ENOUGH.

How many of us know our hearts need this! I had a few books that were helping in this regard—and one of them has a title some of you may laugh at. It’s called “Happy Are You Poor”…and my dear husband recommended it to me as we had these conversations about being content with the present moment, and what we have, rather than staying in a striving mode. It’s a reminder that more of worldly things is not what makes our hearts either at peace, or brought to their full fulfillment. It’s a good wake up call, and reminder. Another fantastic read for me was the 8 doors of the kingdom, meditations on the beatitudes, reminding us that detachment and focus on other than earthly things are what sets our hearts at peace. The books mentioned above (“Chasing Slow”) was also helpful in this regard.

And truly, some days in the summer, as I looked around at our slow, peaceful rhythms, and as I focused on not desiring things, not shopping online, not scrambling for business goals, more followers, more extracurriculars, more, more more, I found that I was happier. And this happiness brought more clarity to me–of what I was truly seeking when making goals or plans. I think this one needs to carry through for me into this coming baby season as well. Getting away from measuring worth, accomplishment, or my treasure in the wrong places.

And I found that in my contentment, my relationships and my impact could be more real and less forced. It’s so important for gratitude to be the baseline of our lives, that they can be fully rich. I journal daily (this habit has fully clicked back in this year), and the themes of knowing what I HAVE, and how good it really is, helps balance out my approach to growth, in various areas of life or work.

Theme 3: COMMUNITY

The final theme for 2018 was COMMUNITY. We were 6 months into a new home, new school, and new area when the new year hit, and I knew we were called to dive in and both foster community where we’re landed, as well as reach out in faith and form new bonds of community across miles, where appropriate.

In Jan of this year, we launched a postpartum community that has become a beautiful group of women and friends that I value deeply. We cheer each other on, listen to challenges, and encourage in the most fragile and important stages of healing, growing, and thriving after a birth. I am so grateful for how it’s blossomed and developed–especially as I prepare for another postpartum. Additionally, we’ve formed a few other important communities around different topics—business related, beautifully growing the influencers reading group I love dearly, and some communities on healthy motherhood and kids.

Then in our day to day lives, on the ground, we were able to dive more fully into the school community we’re blessed to be a part of, and to have real, deep friendships begin to take root—both among the kids, and with the parents. Which led us to beautiful summer nights up LATE under the stars, sharing wine and laughter with amazing new friends, who we now can’t imagine life without. Or beach days lingering into dusk, with the kids playing sand soccer, and celebrating life and sunshine with good people.

These are my 3 themes for 2018—I’m still marveling at how real and relevant they continued to be for me, even as my monthly goals, task lists, and details of life shifted.

For 2019…well, I have some that I’m close to committing to, but I’ll probably save them for another new year’s post.

I’d love to hear from you—do you explore themes and intentions as you kick off a new year? Will you explore themes and intentions as part of welcoming 2019? It’s fun if they start with the same letter, but not necessary, of course 😉 If you have any experiences to share about thinking in themes for seasons of life, I’d love to hear about it!

If you’re interested in trying this for the year 2019, I recommend just spending some time journaling, talking to those you trust, and seeing what comes up for you! You might be surprised at how quickly your heart and mind land on the themes you need to embrace for peace and growth in the coming year.

A super fun word of the year generator can provide additional inspiration and hilarity (while it’s random, it seemed uncannily relevant from all the folks we did it with last year). My word of 2018 that was generated for me was BALANCE. I can’t say I have it fully figured out, but I’m worlds more balanced in many aspects of life than I felt a year ago, at the holidays.

So here’s to a fresh start, a new perspective, a new way to approach new years.

Much love and thank you for being part of this blogging journey in 2018. I had no idea where it would lead and I’m just having a blast as we continue onward and upward!

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Life Lessons from My Kids, 2018 Edition

I wrote a similar post a year ago, and when I sat to write this, I enjoyed going back to it, remembering them (how little they seem now) and that special phase, that still somewhat felt like a blur, since we were still settling in after a big move—entering a new school and community, finding good rhythms in our new place we call home. 

Some things I remember now (from that time)–Ambrose just under 1 and he was still waking a lot at night to feed, my brain and nervous system still felt in that postpartum fog a bit (any other mommas out there relate?)…and the girls were just young and BUSY. Not a bad thing, I just remember being wiped out each and every day, and welcoming my babysitter breaks and realizing I needed to uplevel my self-care game and my mental and home management habits & flow so that I wouldn’t feel on the edge so often, but could rather enjoy it more!

I began looking into ways to rest/reset more deeply and effectively (discovered reflexology , healed my adrenals during this time, so huge), and some exploring of new habits that led to many new, better rhythms for myself and our family by the spring. This deserves another post–coming soon…  

Well, if you’d told me at that moment–that this time next year we’d be happily prepping to welcome #4, I would have said you were CRAZY:)

It wasn’t until the spring of 2018 that I turned and said to Joel one day… “I think we’re starting to really get the hang of this 3 kids thing”…ha. And now we’re preparing to have our worlds rocked, once again, and the beauty of it is that I truly can’t imagine it any other way. 

A Year of Finding Balance, With and Through My Children

My word of the year for 2018 was Balance. How appropriate that we sought and found some new family rhythms to give us a beautiful sense of balance, and now in early 2019 we’ll adjust and shift and build on what we’ve learned. God’s timing is truly incredible, and I smile just knowing how much better life gets when I don’t try so hard to control the future, the timing of things, and everything in between. Anyone else working on that lesson (again, and again)?

I see how well the kids are maturing and adjusting and doing more for themselves and in their lives, even as the balance shifts again and my focus starts to be on prepping for the next one. I never cease to be amazed at how much kids are hard-wired to THRIVE–to seek out, grab, hold onto, to create the experiences, stimulation, relationships, etc., that most help them become themselves, and to be challenged and remain curious about their world…it’s a quality we all wish we had more of or held on to better as adults!

Photo by Laurie Wright Photography, 2018

Learning about Gentleness and Creative Introspection from Emma

So, diving into the 2018 Fall edition, I’ll start with Emma Lucia, my eldest. She turned 8 in August, and is thriving and being stretched by life in 3rd grade. Oh Emma, what a special spirit she is. I honestly pause at least once a day and marvel that she’s my daughter. Her heart is so sensitive and clued into the needs of others–when she was younger, she was more melancholic, but as she’s grown, she looks outside of herself and cares so deeply about what others are experiencing and going through.

She’s 8, which means fierce friendships and a growing sense of independence–she thrills when I give her responsibilities that stretch and challenge her (though better that we don’t call them chores:)), and at school I see her growing in leaps and bounds with the environment, academic challenges, and the tight knit (tiny class) social circle that she loves. She teaches me so much about seeing the world with wide eyed imagination, gentleness, thinking outside the box, caring deeply for others and always looking for that creative outlet.

She’s a great (gentle) ring leader of the other two, coming up with creative games that keep the younger two entertained, and playing elaborate lego and character games on her own. I don’t ever want her to grow up where she’s too old for that. She has a good sense of what it means to be having another baby coming soon, and she’s very excited and aware of how it will change things in the family.

I’m so grateful she’s in a lovely school– and has a pace of life and friendships–that are encouraging her to stay little, soak up these golden years of imaginative childhood…they really are so beautiful to watch through the eyes of a mother. And she challenges me to always leave room for imagination, creativity and gentle connectedness to others, as keys to beautiful days.

Learning about the Power of Grace and Passion from Corinne

Corinne–my firecracker. She’s the one who has given me the most gray hairs, the most “what am I doing wrong as a mother” moments, and yet our bond is fierce, and I see so much of myself in her (and a bunch of other traits), that I have to laugh as I’m learning to parent her–I’m hearing echoes of what I need to be told daily as well: “Lighten up, Corinne. Not everything can go just your way” and “Don’t get frustrated that it’s not perfect. Try again, embrace the process, and imperfection”…and so much more.

She’s 5, in kindergarten, and is just on top of the world. She’s the one who needed school (that wonderful stimulation) badly–and while we wondered how she would do transitioning to full days this year, she’s absolutely thriving, the center of her class social scene, adores her fun young teacher (who’s fashionable, which is very important to Corinne) and is just ready to explode with all the things she’s excited to be learning about and bringing home to show and tell me. She’s just beginning to unwrap the magical world of reading…with fierce pride in herself.

I will never ever tire of seeing her attack a playground, and jump, swing, flip, twirl, and use every aspect of it to her heart’s delight. That’s my 5 year old Corinne! She’s been doing a gymnastics class, and it’s the perfect environment for her to push herself physically, and have fun…it reminds me a lot about why I love running, and yoga, and fitness in general…that sheer focus and her determination to do better than she did yesterday (not competing against others–yet–but against her own definition of where she wants to be).

I learn from her (and she from me) about how to channel our energies, engage them well (think leadership, as opposed to bossiness, and gymnastics, as opposed to tearing up my home ;)). She’s the one that is the most surprisingly tender to me even in the midst of her whirlwind energy, and is always thinking of sweet things for me “and the baby.” We have the sweetest conversations when I put her to bed, and her mind is just exploding with the possibilities of life and her place in it. 

I want to say she’s changed the most in the past year, but I think it’s really just about coming into her own: she’s embracing the best parts of who she wants to be, and leaving behind some of the dangerously obstinate habits of toddler-hood. “Though she be but little, she is fierce!” I want her to retain that always, in pursuit of the good, true and beautiful.

Photo by Laurie Wright Photography, 2018

Learning about Curiosity and Playfulness from Ambrose

Ambrose–-oh my lover boy. The one who made me a blessed and happy boy mom (now getting ready to welcome another boy). His tenderness to me, his silliness and sense of humor, how he’s navigating all the big changes of his little life, I’m just marveling at it daily, and loving every minute with him. He teaches me so much about approaching all aspects of life with enthusiasm and a grin.

The other night when we are scurrying around doing bedtime things with Corinne, I see him grab his little board book and jump into my bed next to Emma who’s doing her reading there. He cuddles up and then yells out to me in the hallway—“I’m happy!!” That sums him up pretty well, just that sunny good natured guy who brings out all the doting qualities from all of us.

The year between 1 and 2 is really when so much happens for them, they go from being little babies needing so much, to super independent, and this guy handled it with grace and agility.

Much more than my other girls were (that I remember), he’s super inquisitive and always asking “What’s that” “Where are we?”, “Why…?” His brain is hardwired to connect the dots between things and that, along with his very tidy habits (my pride and joy–-he’s always cleaning up his messes without prompting, using his mini cleaning set, or picking up after he’s done, etc.) makes me think he could have a future as an engineer (like his grandfather) or something that requires attention to detail/organization, and lots of asking “why does this work this way?”

He’s my nature lover boy, who’s always trying to play with bugs, run outside with his boots on, and just explore…and on hikes, he fiercely keeps up with rigorous climbs and will go for a mile or more just powering away, excited about what’s up ahead. I’ve LOVED these fall days with him, as a special transition moment, knowing that in the new year, things will shift again, and he’ll give up his position as youngest…but he’ll always be my baby boy, and he has his dad wrapped around his finger, which is wonderful to watch.

He teaches me so much about loving life and taking things as they come. He reminds me how important it is to just PLAY, and use our energy on things that make us happy.

Photo by Laurie Wright Photography, 2018

Learning about Trust and the Unique Gift of Each Life from My Sneaky Pete

My little bump dweller, “Sneaky Pete,” as we like to call him, rounding us out to 2 girls, 2 boys. This guy sure has taught me A LOT so far, for being so little, but it’s been quite an exciting journey with him, and I’d say primarily it’s about trust in God, joy and gratitude for the lives we get to connect with, touch, and bring into this world. There’s some very very special reason that he’s here, that he exists–so I’m eager to witness and see just what that could be.

And he’s been SO good and easy on his momma so far (let’s keep that up), and I just marvel at it all, all over again (but more deeply perhaps). I’ve been really intentionally journaling almost daily with this pregnancy, and really letting this little guy and our experiences together shape my thoughts, my work, what I’m focused on, there’s so much richness there, in terms of lessons and learning to really become aware of the process, of how much these weeks, each week, changes us.

Maybe you’ve heard it said that every child a woman carries leaves some of their own DNA in her? We as mothers are literally, and in so many facets, never ever going to be the same, thanks to the babies we carry or have carried.

Now that we’re at the point (34 weeks) that he could survive outside the womb just fine (though let’s not get any ideas of coming early) it’s just mind blowing to me, just how much development takes place in these early weeks, and how lucky we are to be witnesses to it, as parents, from day 1. It still feels surreal, but amazing, that in 6 weeks we’ll have another little one fully part of our home and family.

I have no doubt I’ll be writing more updates soon on this little one, but so far, he’s as go with the flow as they come, and genuinely brings such an edge of joy to my life and awareness, he’s reminding me just how much ALL in life is gift, sometimes God’s ways are much better than our ways (well, always!), and how good things lead to more and more and more good things–abundance of blessings follows when we trust and relinquish control.

His presence also reminds me, yet again, how important self-care is as mothers–caring for self and caring for other are the same/inextricably linked in this beautiful phase, and I am grateful some of these lessons have sunk in over the past 8 years, even as I learn new ones, that are appropriate for this season.

Photo by Laurie Wright Photography, 2018

So that’s it, the 2018 recap on life-lessons from my kids…

I love their spirit and this moment above, it captures perfectly their wild and free hearts, ready to take on adventure and risk as it comes to them—alive to the world, to life and it’s blessings, just committed to thriving. We all have so much to learn from the children in our lives–our own, and others!

And here’s the recap from last year to enjoy/compare. I LOVE seeing the growth, as much in my perspective, as in each of them.

Life lessons my children are teaching me right now

How are your kids leading to your growth, and changing you during this season of life? I’d love to hear.

 

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9/23 Race Recap, and Reflections on Running while pregnant

This shouldn’t have to be said, but please keep in mind this is not to be construed as medical advice, and your doctor must be consulted before starting or changing a fitness routine while pregnant. There are certain cases like placenta previa where running can be very harmful to baby, so keep that in mind when evaluating–each of us and our unique pregnancies—what will be best for you.

So, this is a race recap, but more than that, an overview of my experiences and philosophy about running and pregnancy, honed over 8 years of enjoying both—and often at the same time 🙂

Quick race recap: we cheered on the kids in their fun run, and 2 of the kids in our group actually came away with prizes! They were so proud and so were we. When we took them to a nearby playground with some wonderful young babysitter friends, we realized that most likely the playground was on the course and we’d see them–that made me very happy.

It was a nice small race, based out of the town center of Wilton, and raising money for cancer research for children via Circle of Care. It was moving to start the race with a few words from the father of a local girl battling a brain tumor. It helps shift all of it into perspective, and there was a moving sign on the course while we ran — Cancer is Hard, Running is Easy.

I have to say that in our group we had some great races–2 PRs, and a 2nd place win overall from my friend Samantha. I had put a small bug in her ear that she had a good chance of winning, but coming off of an injury, we didn’t know how things would go, and for both of us, and the others running with us (3 couples in total) it was all about having fun, doing our best, and not injuring ourselves:)

I loved running with my buddy Mary. We’ve done runs together for going on 9 years, in Brooklyn, pushing jogging strollers, while pregnant and more…one of my brags about her running while pregnant is below. The miles passed quickly and at the very end before the turnaround, we passed our kids playing at the playground with their babysitters…seeing them jumping up and down with excitement, cheering for us, and these race days as truly family event where everyone can participate, is always one of my favorite parts about running.

I know I always talk to my girls and try to model for them, the joy and importance of moving, and challenging ourselves in these settings…and they certainly have caught the running bug. One of the girls, my friend’s daughter, came out of the playground and ran the last ⅓ mile with us! I know that next year, our older ones can probably run a full 5k with us, with some training/prep, so that’s a super fun thought, to have a sport we will all continue to love. I ran faster than I had thought I would,without pushing myself, and felt great–which is the main goal. It was an overall amazing day: a fun small race, thoughtfully coordinated, and committed friends just made it a fantastic experience.

I actually didn’t run my first pregnancy…and I somewhat wish I had seen a post like this or some experienced runner momma friends to turn to at the time for perspective. See, I had been a somewhat regular jogger, pretty casual (we loved running the 3 mile Prospect Park loop in Brooklyn, which was right across the street from our apartment).

I remember trying to run at like 8 weeks pregnant or so with Emma. I got less than 1/2 a mile and was so sure I was going to throw up. I walked, and my stomach settled. I walked miles and miles and miles that pregnancy, but I didn’t really get up the courage to run again. I wish someone might have told me–it gets easier in the 2nd trimester…and to try again…but in any case, I found myself completely in a pre-natal yoga groove instead for the 2nd half of the pregnancy, and that was wonderful to balance out my 60 hour stress filled work weeks at the time…and to continue falling in love with my pregnant body and my little growing daughter.

As anyone can tell you, the first pregnancy is such a mix of daily emotions and the full range of feelings as you experience your body literally creating space and making room to healthily grow another, and you’re wondering what is “normal.” Iit turns out there’s a wide range to experiences of normal in pregnancy!

In my postpartum period with Emma, again, I was still fitting in miles of walking per day thanks to our city life, but my body wasn’t really in the running groove (I hadn’t run in over a year by the time she was 9 months). My energy levels were whacky, stress levels were high, with a demanding job and juggling the mothering learning curve.

Right at this tough point in my health journey is when I found (by lucky accident), my brand partner and began a lifestyle upgrade, which within 30 days led me to feel this surge of energy and desire to exercise! I added pilates back in and got stronger. I got out my running shoes and was back at it.

By the time Emma was 1.5 years old, and my life had begun changing dramatically (more here), I set a goal…to run my first half marathon. This was in July. I had just started a new job and life was crazy but sometimes those are the moments to just carve out a goal and find the time. In October I ran my first half, in DC, a beautiful course right along the Potomac river, and a crummy day–cold and rainy…but the finish line was there waiting for me, and it felt SOOO good to accomplish that.

Later that month, Corinne was conceived and this time, I decided since I was in decent shape, to keep running in the equation during my pregnancy. The exhaustion and evening sickness of the first 8 weeks kept me from running, but after that (maybe 10 weeks) I was back at it. I’d get stares and the occasional whistle as I passed people in the evenings with a growing bump in the 2nd trimester, running that same loop of Prospect Park. I knew I had the right nutritional foundation, and extra training support tools, to make this positive for baby and I, and I will never forget the runner’s high accompanied with–“I’m doing this with a little buddy!” excitement–that went with those runs.

I managed to keep that up (at least once a week) until about 34 weeks, then the ligament pressure and enormous weight of my sweet, darling almost 10 lb baby were just too much for me. Instead, I went to the gym, started biking and hired a personal trainer for the final 6 weeks (yes, he thought I was nuts, but it was fun). Turns out I was carrying an enormous baby (on my small frame), so that certainly did a number on my ligaments and pelvis, not to mention the birth…but oh how we love our kids all the more for it.

Well, the difference with postpartum running was huge with Corinne. Because I’d been in the habit all through the pregnancy, it just felt right to lace on my shoes at 10 weeks postpartum and run a few miles in the park, with Corinne in the jogger, and while Joel had Emma at the playground. So for those of you who feel that the postpartum fitness habits are hard, I think paving the way with a strong pre-natal fitness plan makes a huge difference–your muscles remember and are prepared for diving back in, even if there’s a 12 week break between week 34 of pregnancy, and your 6 week postpartum exercise approval appt.

Of course, all this must be read in the context of your own individual needs, pregnancy history, and your fitness level before pregnancy.

I do believe, with a doctor’s approval, anyone, even somewhat beginner runners, benefit from getting out there and giving it a go just to experience it. You know what, you may end up loving it! Or at least keeping it as part of your pregnancy fitness plan, along with yoga, stretching, light strength training, low impact workouts like the elliptical, and core work (you’re going to want to do more of that to ensure you’re not injuring your core while running), and when necessary, chiropractic, pelvic/core PT and good pre-natal massage (oh yes, so necessary).

If you want more information about healthy pre-natal and postpartum life, I highly recommend this amazing resource, Every Mother. I so wish I had known about it in my first 3 pregnancies, it’s helped me tons with postpartum and I’m modifying it for this pregnancy, in conjunction with my amazing and life-changing PT, Melissa. Some folks swear by chiropractic, and prenatal mysofascial massage can be hugely helpful, just embrace the fact that you’re going to need that extra support team, and to know where to turn when things just don’t feel right. I don’t believe that low back pain, poor core and pelvic function are just part of the equation of motherhood. Absolutely not. It’s true that we need stellar supplementation, wise hydration and prep, lots of stretching/yoga and these extra tools mentioned above when staying active in pregnancy, but it’s just so worth it, in so many ways.

With my 3rd pregnancy, Ambrose, I didn’t run much the first trimester, but with the surge of energy and focus in 2nd Tri, set a goal to run a race. I did a 5 mile (8K) in Wildwood in late Spring, and had a blast. I didn’t push myself, and the distance was a comfortable one for me, but at least got me out training and having something to look forward to! Crossing the finish line, I knew I had all the support in the world from up above, and from my little guy, we did it and it was such an experience of “teamwork.”

I have amazing runner momma friends–I have to brag on them, and give you that context that I wish someone had given me. I have one friend who completed a half marathon 6 months pregnant (her standard distance was marathon, but she kept her time pretty fast and just cruised through), and another friend who’d set a big goal of the Chicago marathon but then found out she was expecting, and kept her goal–she trained smart and safe, never overly pushed herself, and completed the Chi town marathon when she was in her 2nd trimester. How incredible is that??

Here’s some other reasons why it’s such a great idea to incorporate running into your prenatal health plan.

They’ve done research on baby’s brain development, and shown that increased blood flow from momma, such as what happens in light and moderate exercise, stimulates and improves baby’s brain development!

Additionally, so much of the mood disorders we hear about, PPD and PPA and the like, can actually begin to surface in the final trimester of pregnancy. Hormones are whacky and there are so many things at play, but regular exercise is one the ways momma can combat these mood swings, and to bring some good ol’ exercise-induced oxytocin into her system, for her sake as well as baby’s.

Of course, low impact workouts and walking up to several miles daily can also bring in some of these benefits, so do what works for you. As mentioned before, it can help with body image challenges in pregnancy, and in preparing for a strong birth, a healthy recovery, and a strong postpartum routine.

When postpartum with Ambrose (my 3rd), I set an ambitious goal of running a half marathon 6 months after he was born. Getting out to run in those early days was a delicate balance of timing around his naps, hoping that I wasn’t too tired, and being smart about my pacing and core recovery. I will never forget how much I loved feeling like MYSELF again on those runs, even when I was just slowly plodding along, embracing the process as the miles got easier, being out in the fresh air (of the early new year), and having that mental space to myself.

It was a total game changer for those often challenging first months of postpartum life..I know it helped with preventing some of the natural baby blues that can come into play for me combined with inactivity and being stuck in the house–and it was made possible because I had kept up the habit until about 34 weeks in that pregnancy as well.

And here’s a fun secret, that athletes know. When you build your muscles through running with the extra weight, and then you lose 30-40 lbs quickly due to birth and the following restabilization of your body weight, you put your body at a great advantage of increasing performance. Your lung capacity, your stamina, all of it is greater, post-pregnancy. Some of my fastest miles ever have been in those postpartum cycles…and it’s been so rewarding to be able to complete half marathon training cycles between each pregnancy, knowing that the baseline of fitness/endurance I’m building is serving me and my little one well for a healthy, strong and balanced pregnancy.

SO if you’re thinking that maybe pregnant running, or postpartum running, are for you, I hope this little glimpse into my experience has helped you to reflect on what you want. And yes, some folks will judge and question it, but if you and your doctor/midwife are confident in it, go for it! And enjoy #runningfor2

This little guy has been my best running buddy so far. I never felt off or funky when running in my first trimester (moderate amounts for me–2-3 miles, several times per week), and to be honest, I think he was several days in existence when I ran my spring half marathon, so this fall fun-run would actually be his second race…but this time it’s also the latest I’ve raced (23 weeks) and I’m just so grateful…for the support–literal support from Blanqi (GAMECHANGER, ladies!), from my husband who ran with me even though he doesn’t enjoy running that much, and my friends who came from all over to run with us on this gorgeous fall day. I plan to run until 30 weeks (to give my ligaments a break and focus on yoga and good positioning for this babe, we already do, and will continue to do tons of walking), but we’ll take it one week at a time, and that’s a great way to approach things.

It may be a little while before I’m “racing” again, but I’ll enjoy my pregnancy runs as long as it feels good, and continue loving the process of growing and welcoming this little guy into the world. Someday, at his sporting events, I’ll embarrass him by telling him he was competing with me before he was born 🙂

Thanks for reading to the end–share your own stories of pregnancy running or fitness habits, I’d love to hear! There’s so many beautiful ways to celebrate the strength and endurance that we build in motherhood, and I think pregnancy is a wonderful phase to look at as an opportunity to try new things and remain flexible and strong, rather than as a handicap or physical disability.

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Spring Race Recap: Reflections on Endurance Training and How It Shapes My Life

Dedicating this post to the amazing friends who’ve supported me on my journey of falling in love with training and running races; and who’ve witnessed to me with their own lives the power of this process in creating motivated, goal oriented phases that benefit and shape lives in so many ways. Specifically: Samantha, Mary, Claire and Annie, who’s also editing this for me. Truly, deeply grateful. And thanks to all of you who checked in on me and made sure I was excited and motivated and felt good–it was so touching, and I know I needed it!

Yesterday, I completed another half marathon!! The sight of the finish line has truly never been sweeter, and I was even more grateful this time to be able to run and take on this challenge, seeing another training cycle to completion.

Today, I’m going to try to touch on the overview/prep I did for this race and give a little race day recap. But before I do that, I need to share my musings on why I feel strongly about setting fitness goals as a part of creating a happy, successful and productive life–moving us towards the goals that matter to us–in all aspects, not just in fitness.

I get asked all the time–but WHY do you like running half marathons? And the answer really lies in something that I’ve discovered and continued to uncover along the way. Namely, I become a better version of myself through testing my mental and physical limits in these ways (within reason, of course, and with a strong support team making sure I stay injury free and enjoying it all).

Brendon Burchard, in his book High Performance Habits, says: “If the demands of your job or life require you to learn fast, deal with stress, be alert, pay attention, remember important things, and keep a positive mood, then you must take exercise more seriously. If you care about your contributions to the world, you’re care for yourself.”

Sounds like most of our lives! And what a straightforward solution, right?

And deep down, many of us know this to be true. Now, I am a huge fan of in home workouts, regular routines, gym classes that you can fit around your schedule, etc, but it’s also powerful to test oneself and one’s limits, both physically and mentally. That’s what endurance sports and events represent to me. After all, isn’t that what life often demands of us, whether we’ve trained or not? And with energy and positivity, what can’t we focus on and handle?

For me, as I came to half marathon training after becoming a mother (my first one was done when my eldest daughter was 2), it was also about witnessing to myself and to my family just how strong I could be, for myself and for them. And in the process of facing the challenges, the ups and downs, highs and lows of a race training cycle, I would face and conquer hidden fears, learn about myself, and be prepared to face other parts of life with more discipline, focus, gratitude (for strength), and an understanding of how to make progress towards those bigger life goals we have.

Now, for some people, swimming might be a smarter, low impact sport, my dad is an endurance cyclist and I’ve always admired folks who were into that as well. For me, running as been my passion, and not without challenges to continue—since in the past 5 years I’ve run 4 halfs and had 2 babies–I used to just say if I can run a half after/between each kid I’ll be happy with that–and so far that’s proven to be a good focal point for my overall fitness habits, postpartum recovery etc–more on that in an entirely seperate post. I’ve been able to run up to 34/35 weeks pregnant with my 2 most recent babies (shorter distances) and that has helped so much with regaining strength and motivation for recovery afterward.

Distance running is a form of meditation and mindfulness. Sure, I like to track my stats and set goals, negative splits and all of that, but it’s important to be able to just run for the sheer joy of moving, of celebrating life, humanity, an act of gratitude and prayer. I find that I can come back to my kids and my life my grounded and grateful after a long run–especially in nature. When the going gets tough, I’ll often turn to forms of prayer–rosary, etc–for perspective and pacing.

Training for a half is like any stretch goal in any area of life. It can seem super daunting on paper, and we need to show up with our base level of fitness/functioning…but then break down the goal into bite sized chunks, weekly mileage goals and a training plan with incremental increases/growth, and all of a sudden, it becomes simple as can be.

Often, once we’ve broken down the goal to manageable chunks, it really becomes a mental game. Can we talk ourselves into or out of our goal, the process, the enjoyment of it, the testing of ourselves with grace. This year, I was facing sub zero temps when I needed to be training, and a month before the race, I ran a 9 miler in mid 30’s weather. That was tough, but it reminded me of just how often we find reasons why the goal doesn’t matter, or can’t be met.

And sometimes we just have to let our commitment to the goal, and to ourselves, be stronger than any of that.

As I think about it: so much of life is about playing for a long game and an end goal that is not close by. Mothering for example–talk about a marathon, not a sprint! Like an 18 year marathon 🙂 And with owning a small business, I often have to look at my growth and focus on the future in large/stretch goal terms, and then break down those big goals into bite size pieces to figure out how we will get there (and you all have been AMAZING as we’ve built this biz and brand).

I’m sure you can all give great examples from your own lives, of how these skills of patience, perseverance, mindful goal setting and more can come in handy. I get a huge rush out of completing the goal that I’ve worked towards, and even more so when I can model it for my kids and remind them that with proper planning and hard work, amazing things are possible.

Racing with Kids:

Tying into all that I shared above, I have found that the past few years, its been wonderful to include the girls in doing their own kids event on race weekend. The races we’ve done down on the Jersey shore with friends, and this local one–wisely– have a kids fun run tied into the weekend activities, and it really works on several levels.

First, it helps us all to be excited and counting down: we talk about what I’m working toward with my race, and we do some mini running sessions with them beforehand (nothing major) to build confidence and get them excited. Secondly, we can all inspire each other. Their enthusiasm and stick-with-it ness when they are racing inspires me in my running, and they get to stand at the start line (and finish line) and see their mom facing her fears and going for something that matters to her, and it makes all of us enjoy it more!

It SO helps to have a very supportive spouse–my husband does enjoy running shorter distances, but often sacrifices in terms of managing the kids on race day so we can all be together–for that I’m so grateful, and this year having it be a local race just down the road, helped so much! But destination races are fun too! The organizers who run the race events are getting smarter about making it a very family friendly experience.

I want my girls to enjoy challenging themselves, setting goals, moving with joy, and caring more about what their bodies can do than about what they look like. We’re exposing them to a lot of different sports right now–swimming, running, tennis, soccer–you know—things they can do their whole lives–as well as gymnastics and more. I just want them to be able to always come back to the deep level confidence that being healthy and competing against yourself and the clock can bring!

Training Backstory:

I LOVE the discipline and focus of a good training cycle, I’ve been doing that pattern now for 4 years: 3 halfs and 1 5-miler when I was 17 weeks pregnant with Ambrose ;). Spring races on the calendar  help motivate me in those early days of the year. In this case, I was waitlisted for this race because it’s small and very popular, and I had almost given up on the idea, but then I emailed the guy and made a last ditch, eloquent explanation of us as new to the town, and excited about the race–unaware of the crazy fast sell out on Jan 1, etc. He wrote back right away and said yes, of course, he always saves a few spots for newbies to town (the race attracts mostly from outside/even other states)…and just like that I was in…and facing the decision and opportunity on March 23rd for doing a race exactly 6 weeks later!

My baseline had been 5 miles for a few months, so my training cycle shown below would not be recommended for first timers/newbies or anyone worried about injuries–I kept a close eye on things with the amazing support of my reflexologist a and PT!

This was my rough training plan…I followed it pretty much exactly. And did yoga, pilates, stretching and an occasional short mid week run (3 or less).

Race Day Recap: May 6, 2018

After a fun and gloriously sunny and warm First Communion day on May 5, with many family and friends celebrating with us, the 6th was cold and drizzly–the kind of Sunday morning that you really wouldn’t mind staying in bed for ;). Joel and I roused the kids and threw on their race gear, and I fueled up with breakfast and my hydrate/energy tea combo, and then we drove the less than half mile to the farm where the events were taking place.

The girls had been complaining about getting out of bed so early but when we pulled into the farm and saw the cows, the finish line, and all the excited runners, they became all smiles and energy! Corinne insisted on running with her cow bell and her piglet stuffed animal (swag), and I loved her for it. We headed up to the barnyard and they did a prompt 7:30 start–we were off!

The kids’ race was entirely on the farm property, a half mile distance of rolling hills–I let them pace and little sis was out in front, with older sister worried about getting a side ache (she’s gotten them before) and we just encouraged her to keep going at a steady pace, and even though she got a tiny one, it was in the final downhill and she was able to push through it–and she didn’t want Corinne getting too far away from her either! That served as my perfect warm up jog, and we had so much fun with grandma and papa waiting at the finish line too before they took off for home.

My race started out on the farm as well, and when we reached the first sign that said “Hill 1 of 15” we all got that excited and sinking feeling–“here goes nothing!” Since I live right next to the course, I’ve trained on it, and that helped in some regards–but definitely more fun with a nice group of runners (it’s a small race, they cap it well). Apparently, Joan Benoit Samuelson, famous for winning the first Olympic Gold the year they introduced women’s marathon running, was with us–I saw her cap in the front when someone pointed it out to me.

At mile 1 or so, the rain started. These are the beautiful, scenic, winding roads that I love in this town, and it was so fun that the race took us on some I drive or run often, and also on back roads that I’ve never before discovered! I didn’t take many photos during this time–I was trying to keep my phone dry.

Around mile 5, I decided to start chatting with some folks who were pacing with me. See, I know from experience that miles 5-9 can be the most challenging mentally (and therefore that can translate to slower speeds, or being unsure of whether you’ll “make it”)–by mile 9, I always know–OK, I’m gonna finish, and get an extra boost.

Well, I started making small talk with a nice guy named Keith, and with a lady Melanie, and then later with Jah who was also the pacer for my ideal finishing time–so I was motivated to keep her in my sights! Those rainy, mostly flat miles really few by, and then around mile 8 the rain stopped, and then the hills started! I think that there were 7 hills—ranging from short to long–in the final 5 miles of the race. It made it pretty intense in terms of wondering how much you had left to give, testing the edge, and then on the downhills, working to stride well and make up times lost on the uphills.

We also wound into the beautiful town state park, had a water station there, and ran right up to the beach in Topstone Park. That was a fun change of pace, and a lot of runners rushing by in both directions make for a nice energy boost. I had finished my electrolyte drink, had part of a snack bar, and then grabbed some jelly beans from this station–which give that nice rush for the final miles. I also turned on my music which I don’t always run with, but I had a feeling it would be key for the hilly miles 10-12…and sure enough, it helped. I listened to my MIKA radio station on Pandora and then we had some great sideline support on those final hills–folks cheering for us and saying “you’re almost done”…amazing how much you need that when you’re in the last reserves and I was trying to pick up my pace and do some negative splits at the end too…Which I did for miles 10-12.

When the final sign–Hill 15 of 15 passed and we thought that it was all down hill to the farm finish, there was a feeling of sheer joy—but I know the race organizer enough to know that he thought it would be funny for there to be one more tiny uphill—so yes, on the other side of that we could see the turn in to the farm and we were pumping down to the barn yard and around the corner to the fun finish line.

I just checked the total elevation gain and it was 979 feet. Woah. So of course I’m convincing a few friends, my dad, and others to do it with me next year (and there’s a 7 mile option too!).

I knew the hills would be tough, the rain added an extra layer of mental challenge, but at the end of it, the finish line was SO sweet, and I felt on top of the world. Not to mention the flowers, fun medals, free massage and PT right at the finish line, and local places offering us coffee, donuts, pizza, and some fun finish line tunes.

The best part was probably being able to walk home from the finish line (less than half mile away) carrying a box full of fun race food for my fam, and the girls had run a hot bath for me….heaven.

All in all, a great race day. I didn’t win in my age group, or even close, but that wasn’t my goal. I felt strong, focused, amazing and injury free. So grateful that I can enjoy this sport of running after 3 kids–and will continue to encourage family and friends to challenge ourselves, knowing the journey is just as important as the end goal!

I often get asked what tools and support and tips I have for others who want to start training for runs–especially moms (yep, I’ve done the past few half marathons while breastfeeding;))-so that info is here in another post. I would love to discuss what is inspiring you and how you too might be able to set a stretch goal that is right for you, and see it to completion!

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I’m working on my next important post: some reflections/over-arching themes of postpartum fitness, from my own journey (vulnerability overload, you’ve been warned), and sharing in what others tell me are their unique joys and challenges. I do believe being a mother encourages us to find strengths that we never knew we had, and this avenue for testing and reminding ourselves of that strength is indeed a great gift. It will look slightly different for every person, but we all have ways to continue testing our physical and mental limits, for the development of ourselves as humans.

Thanks for reading to the end, and I hope you’ll share below your own stories of the races you’ll always remember, and the people you became along the journey to the finish line.

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Why workout?

Dear friends,

It’s a true pleasure to connect with you this way, and I hope you’ll drop me a comment below with your thoughts about this very important subject for the end of January…What’s motivating you to keep going with fitness after the excitement of the new year dies down?

And then my 5 tips for getting into a workout routine…or back into one if the holidays and first weeks of the year threw everything off for you and you’re finally ready to hit the ground running!

I think that when we know WHY we’re doing something, it makes the HOW and the WHAT much easier to bring into focus. So this post has 2 parts…

First, Why do we workout?

And then secondly, once we’ve discovered that deep drive and motivation, how can we get ourselves to make the motivation into a habit, something we do day in and day out?

To start with WHY, we can ask ourselves–what kind of person am I seeking to become? And how does fitness fit into that goal?

My workout motivation stems from needing to be energized for my kids, to have mental focus for my life as both business owner and momma, to have a place to sweat and relieve stress, and a way to ensure I can be not only fitting into my pants, but growing in the strength that God desires for me. Funny story; my name means “Tower of strength”…Over time, it’s become more and more about gratitude, moving in gratitude for this body that is mine. 

(Please, it’s not supposed to be about fitting into the pants…but that’s for another post at another time.)

I was reflecting on this during my first bootcamp class in early January, when all of us were bemoaning our days off from our exercise routines, and the holiday indulgences were making us feel the burn.

But in this moment, in this workout, I discovered another, almost deeper motivation. I come to workout because I need the discipline. All of a sudden, I was faced with the fact that it’s hard. You want to stop doing the reps, your body is yelling–”no thanks, I’m good, let’s wrap up” and your mind is saying “10 more, 9 more…”.And in my life right now, I need to flex that muscle. Sometimes the balance of my life demands all that I’ve got (always blessed, but sometimes stretched). And the discipline is what makes the bridge between joy and productivity/patience for me.

I realized another current motivation that is very strong for me. At other moments in life, I’ve been the queen of home workouts for periods of time, because of baby nap schedule and just squeezing it in here or there. But in this exact season of my life, I’m motivated by the social aspect. I love the community I’ve found. I want to have friends texting me “see you at the gym” and to walk into a class knowing that I know not only the instructor but some of the others who are showing up week after week to give a better and better version of themselves to it. And I know that because my days can be very full, sometimes the discipline of just showing up, smiling at friends, means that the workout will happen, it’s scheduled and I can’t (well, less likely to!) just walk out of it once I’m there, and Ambrose is happily playing with buddies in the child room, etc. The faces, the people, committed to their own processes, pull me deeper into my journey. 

So, I ask you. Putting all of what I just shared aside. What’s your WHY for working out? What are your deeper reasons? Are they strong enough for you to commit to it and keep showing up for yourself?

If not, spend time with a journal and dig deeper. Of course there will always be excuses or reasons why this is not the season in life to prioritize this. I do get it. I’ve even had short seasons of life like that (a month when we were moving, for example). But in general, working out is such a fundamentally flexible thing to fit into a schedule–from 10min to 60 min workouts, 1 to 2 times per week, up to 7 times per week….that it’s good to look at what other things are taking precedence, and whether the energy and focus we get from working out might not indeed help us in those other areas of life…that we claim need all our attention.

Are you with me? What’s your Why for 2018? Are you bold enough to share below? I’m so curious. 

Now…let’s chat about the HOW.

How do we make starting up a new workout/fitness routine easy and fun? Or if you’re 3 weeks into a routine and starting to flag…how can you re-energize your commitment to it?

5 Tips for Starting or Reviving a Workout Routine

(Why do all my posts offer 5? Because it’s more than 2 and less than 10…there. solved.)

  1. Schedule it in. This is the one that’s most obvious, and yet most people don’t actually do it, and then wonder why the day goes by and the workout didn’t happen! Grab your planner–look at the week ahead, see what pockets of time you have, and decide not only that you will workout, but also select what type of workout you’ll do. A lunch hour could hold a yoga session down the street. An early morning timeslot might be for a walk or run. An evening session might be weights at the gym, or maybe there’s one zumba or pilates class that you plan around and make sure it happens because you like the class. If it’s in your schedule, there’s a much better chance you’ll show up and make it happen. I have to adjust workout plans based on my toddler’s nap schedule and the school schedule of my girls, but it’s a non-negotiable that there will be 3-5 workouts, it’s just a matter of when.
  2. Find a fitness buddy from your real life (or make a new friend at the gym!). Accountability is key, especially while the habit is forming. Do you have some friends who will work out with you? Great. If not, do you have a long distance friend who you know is also a runner and you can check in on each other to make sure you did your training runs? Do you have a fitness tracker/app or phone feature (clearly, happily clueless over here), and do you get accountability from that community? Whatever it is, get that buddy system going and watch how your commitment and motivation soars. I started chatting with some moms coming in and out of the childcare center at my gym. Now we have each others #s and we text and plan which classes we will go to. Our kids are becoming buddies too. I’m a lot more motivated thanks to that simple tool.
  3. Figure out what you enjoy doing, for your Mindful Movement. Some people are made to do yoga 6 days a week; they love it. Others, like me, would go on a run whenever possible. Still others say “I hate working out, but I love zumba”. Voila. If you love it, you’re much more likely to get excited, to show up, to talk it up and get other great people involved. It’s a ripple effect of a passion for healthy living.
  4. Arrange positive feelings around the experience. That could include–but is not limited to—get some brand new workout tops and outfits to get excited about putting them on and using at the gym. It totally changes my commitment to sweating when I have some of the right gear! Or give yourself a reward (preferably non-food), such as a chance to sit with tea and read the book you want to read—after your workout, of course. It’s all about re-training your mind and calendar to welcome and accept this as a fundamental part of your schedule. Do things need to be adjusted some times? Of course!
  5. Finally, set up a schedule with carved out rest, nap and stretch days. What I learned last year the hard way is that you can over-extend and really wear yourself down, even doing more than a couple hard workouts per week. It’s time to welcome and value the importance of balance and since this is a marathon not a sprint–in all ways–you want to make sure you’re pacing yourself day and week in and out, to allow these habits to energize and transform you, not burn you out. We don’t want to over-produce cortisol, it will be counterproductive to our goals.

And finally–check out some amazing workout nutrition tools–pre, during, post–yep, it’s all be thought out and designed…and with a clinical trial and 3rd party study or 2 to back them up with some nice nutritional science. Email me to find out how you can get your first fitness pack at 50% off! (madeleine.pidel@gmail.com).

That’s it folks–1 or 2 deeper reasons WHY, some fresh new ideas to take your fitness plans from paper to reality. Let’s make 2018 a year of amazing fitness habits! When we feel better, we do better, and the promising new year and your life needs YOU at your best. And as I always like to remind myself, let’s enjoy the journey!

Maddy

Love this graphic reminding us of all the non-scale benefits of working out.

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My favorite 6 postpartum self-care tips & tricks

Last year, exactly 1 year ago, I was 2.5 weeks postpartum with my 3rd, and we were heading into the holiday season. I remember moments of total exhaustion and overwhelm amidst the joy and the happy busy preparations. We then went on into the new year to decide we wanted to move the family, and by the time my babe was 4 months we were showing our place to sell it, and looking for a new place, and moved when he was 7 months old.

Needless to say,  I had to get very serious about my self-care during this period of time of blessings, but also intensity, transition, and busyness. I have a few things that stood the test for me, and I wanted to share them for all my momma friends who are in the trenches, and in that beautiful period of post-partum, when caring for self is equivalent for caring for baby. This is true especially if breastfeeding, but no matter what, mother is everything, the baby’s whole world. That reality motivated me to continually ground myself, for my baby and my kids’ sake, as well as my own.

And if you’re feeling very very sad all the time, or completely overwhelmed or angry or a combination of intense emotions, don’t just brush it off as a need for self-care…talk to someone who can help you determine whether you have PPD or Anxiety and address it. There’s a good related article, self quiz & support team here at Seleni Institute, or speak with your health provider.

  1. Never underestimate the benefits of a good soak in epsom salts and lavendar after a long day. Not only does the magnesium calm the nervous system and prepare you for a restful night sleep, but the baths are good for aching muscles, and you’ll forget most of the cares of the day after you’ve soaked for 20 minutes, especially with tea, candles and a good book nearby. I like to get the lavender epsom salt blends, and you can add a few drops of your favorite calming essential oils too, as the bath runs.
  2. Get outside. Not only does it help with mood, but time in the sunshine will give you perspective on your time with baby at home, the fresh air will do you good (even in winter its great to bundle baby and go for a walk)…and of course, catching Vit D when you can helps support your vital replenishment of it, as well as babes…since they can’t get it through breastmilk. Plus, it’s always wonderful coming back home after a short outing. Walks, jogs, time at the park, whatever suits you. Just make it regular and easy to plan:)
  3. Sleep extra. This is such cliche advice they always give us “sleep when baby sleeps”…I always chuckle—yah right, i’m gonna grab my favorite mug, some tea, catch up on emails, news, dishes, life…but NO. Much better if you give yourself permission to take naps 2-3 times a week with babe, especially early on. It’s special bonding time if you are able to sleep with them. Or if by yourself, just appreciate it for what it is; your body heals so much more quickly when it’s rested…I’ve learned this the hard way when dangerously cutting sleep after my 1st and my 3rd…and believe me, it’s not a good thing for anyone involved.
  4. Nourish yourself with all the goodness you can. I am a big believer that this is one of the most important times to focus on nutrition, equally so to pre-natal, but often not discussed. I recommend this book The first 40 Days that goes into great detail on which foods are most healing to postpartum mommas, and has amazing recipes…that you should have someone ELSE make for you. Keep quick and easy snacks on hand, and reach for healthy fats, protein (your needs are just as high as pregnancy), filling hearty grains, and greens as often as you can, even when caffeine and sugar seem like the obvious ways to get through the sleep deprived mornings and days. Caffeine and sugar can contribute to our mood swings and cortisol disruption, so be wise about avoiding that cycle…finding other ways to get quick energy fixes is definitely a good plan. See my post on postpartum health tools. 
  5. Remember to get out the house at least once a week (after the initial 6 weeks or your healing/cleared) and do a hobby, pursue something you love. This could be anything from pottery (I took a class when my first was a baby and let her and her dad bond and figure themselves out one evening a week)…to yoga (this was my hobby of choice after #2)…or even something as simple as just getting out and going to the movies by yourself (this was a dream come true for me after #3). Just knowing that you have that time for your own needs and to be a human as well as a pillow and milk machine, will help your spirits heal along with your body. It’s alot of big changes, and we need to ground ourselves in things that have brought us joy and will continue to, such as books, hobbies, and relationships.
  6. Last but certainly not least: Know when to ask for help. When you’re near the end of your energy or what you can give, and you just need a warm meal, a nap and a moment to yourself while someone cares for baby, or for your toddler or other kiddos, find out who your support team will be, call on them in advance and make sure they’re at the ready to help. It certainly takes wisdom and humility, and it’s so worth it to get the team lined up before you have birth, but don’t feel the need to stretch your supermom cape too thin; there’s plenty of time for that once baby is a little older, for now, your lives and well being are vitally intertwined and in need of a large community of support.

I’m cheering for you! Reach out if you want to connect, I adore supporting moms in this beautiful phase of life, or jump into our Postpartum FB group that we just launched in Jan 2018 to share your success, struggles, daily wins and all the rest of it in a private group setting. This has been a dream of mine for some time and it’s so humbling and awesome to see so many amazing women coming together to deeply support each other in navigating the joys and challenges of this unforgettable time in our lives. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/569409133392034/

(You’ll be in, pending answering a few questions to help us support you!)

We’re in this together. 

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Life lessons my children are teaching me right now

Oh my goodness.

This moment in time is one I want to remember for many many years to come. My 3 littles are these incredibly beautiful, blossoming ages, and I just am blown away by all that they are doing, becoming, and how much they are showing me about life, and the many facets of what it means to be alive, and to be in the present moment, while embracing growth. So much is learned from these simple, beautiful, un-tamed hearts. Sure, they make me crazy and some days, exhausted, but I decided for this post to share with you my focus on the incredible lessons that they are teaching me, and for myself, so that it sinks in deeply and I can treasure these lessons for what they are…beautiful gifts from God, who is always putting the people in our lives (literally, plopped into my body and heart) to teach us needed lessons about life and love, and becoming more of who we are truly meant to be.

Emma L. Pidel

My eldest girl, my absolute joy, she’s a ray of warmth and lightness and is so sensitive to beauty, to others, to sadness, she’s like a beautiful wildflower, growing in the sun, but delicately battered by rain. I remember even as a baby, how sensitive she was to the world around her, and that challenged and stretched me at the time, and it continues to! She’s never happier than when creating–primarily with color and paper (art of any media) but also now with writing; her stories, imaginary games and worlds become the focus of the other children, and we all get swept up into them, so powerful is her imagination and her desire to make it real.

The other day she said to me, coming from out of the blue, or perhaps when I was brushing off something that had happened in the midst of a busy moment…”Mom. but it’s OK to feel sad. You can’t just be happy and feel positive all the time.” Those words hit deeply with me and I realized that she needed to see another side of me from time to time. She knows that I have my down moments, as we all do, and she was encouraging me to let that be part of my mothering, rather than putting on a good face and mustering along. What wisdom of spirit! And that vulnerability chosen as strength is where Emma so excels, and where she teaches me so much. She may be little (she’s always been one of the most petite ladies for her age) but she shines so brightly due to her generosity and her desire to expand other’s hearts and their deep joy–all while telling them (and us)–it’s OK, you don’t have to be happy all the time…that’s not how life works. Her melancholic understanding of life coupled with her trained optimism that we’re always working on, is something that inspires me daily, and that I know will richly bless so many others.

Corinne E. Pidel

Oh, my spitfire. Every since she popped into the world on July 5th, weighing in at 9lbs 12 oz, my little firecracker has been making sure that people notice her in every way, every day. Sometimes, that takes ugly temper-tantrum on the sidewalks form, but other times it means she runs into her school and her entire class comes and hovers around her, eager to hear what she has to say, and to follow her around (I kid you not). We’re always working on the leadership side of things and channeling all that CEO mentality she’s already got bottled up inside her. Believe me, she wants to, and probably could run the household for a day if I let her…and I’m tempted but I know in just a few years she’ll be such a brilliant lady to have on my team, so we’re always navigating the sources of power, in all ways large and small. She teachers me, with her fiercely beautiful stubborn streak, that we should STAND UP and fight for what matters to us, large or small, and to know deep down what it is that we want, and what we are about in the world.

She has a piercing sense of fairness and the need to keep agreements in place, so I watch, and marvel, as this little human navigates all the people, situations and environments that she has in front of her. She takes risks whenever possible–OK, sounds like someone else we know. But her enthusiasm and confidence are at such heights when she’s flipping on the playground or trampolining across my living room on these winter eves–she truly marvelously pushes herself to go further, faster, harder, and boy, don’t we all need a little bit of that drive and energy sometimes? Since she has a tender heart under her tougher exterior, I learn much from her about finding little ways and opportunities to let love shine through; it’s not going to look the same for all of us; and in her case, sometimes love looks like laying down clear boundaries and even a few rules, with much explanation of course.

She’s finding her way with full force, and I am so humbled that I get to be her mommy and learn so much patience, trust and peace along the way. Being 4 and trying to understand all that life throws at us is TOUGH. In fact, it’s tough no matter what the age. We can’t always just lay down and have a good cry, but being OK with that reality and the mystery of our power to shape our existence, is certainly always something to grapple with. She’s taught me this, and so, so so much more.

I have no doubt she’ll be a CEO, or running her own company, or non-profit, or doing some other such incredible things some day, and I’ll look back and smile and chuckle over all those moments when she lost it because she couldn’t understand why she wasn’t in charge of the whole show at age 4.

Ambrose. J.T. Pidel

Oh, my babe. I start to tear up when I rock him for his naps and think about the fact that he’s growing up, he doesn’t really need me in the way that he used to, a year ago. This year has been SUCH a gift and he’s taught me some incredible lessons. His gentle, loving, upbeat and fun personality is contagious-how he is in turn affects his sisters and their moods, and it affects me.

He’s constantly smiling at us to get us to smile back, and he now has this sweet trick where he’ll come running over and pull on me until I sit and cozy up with him on the couch, and he’ll sit contentedly in my lap, chatting away and telling me (in gibberish) everything that he’s thinking about, complete with serious facial expressions and chuckles. He’s teaching me, with his absolutely fearless and fierce nature, to push ahead towards the things that are beyond me reach just yet, or are hard for me. That’s how we learn, that’s how we grow.

Seeing him tackle obstacles like the nearest chair, or navigating getting down a flight of stairs (hint; It ends well), he does so smiling widely, and when he falls, he just grins and goes right back at it. Isn’t that all that many of us can aspire to be like, failing forward and seeing the bumps and bruises of life, as a sign that we’re on the right path and we’re learning, it’s not supposed to be perfect and seemly, and together all the time. And his sweet fascination with literally everything that comes across his path or sight reminds me to dive in more deeply to understand  how something works and why it came to be. He reminds me that I love phemonelogy for this reason…the power of experiencing an object and the joy, suprrise and all that it gives.

He’s teaching me to love and give second chances no matter what history is there (with his sisters rough housing him) and his beautiful wide open approach to welcoming the new day—running off to explore something new with sheer delight at being alive. Yes, I’m learning so much from him too, and it’s all so wonderful to watch unfold.

These children, grace and hope are abundant in their spirits, may they always live the deep and bright mysteries of the present moment, as they are doing now. I’m so humbled and truly lucky to be their mother, and as much as I wake up and pray for the wisdom to guide and form them, they are teaching me lessons that are sinking deeply into my core and changing me.